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Entries in Episode Recap (107)

Thursday
Aug302012

Big Brother #14, Episode 22 Recap

For the second week in a row, we will be saying goodbye to a so-called Big Brother legend. A beautiful little thing with a wandering eye but the gift of snark, our departing player originally lost her "dignity on a slippery wiener", but also managed to survive being shackled to two of the most annoying people in Big Brother history, was outplayed by a gang of fratboys with a collective IQ of 75, and never met a crinkly bag of chips she didn't devour.

Although we will never forget our little Britney, honestly she was never much of a player. Yet she never claimed to be one, either, admitting earlier this year that she spent her entire first season in a bikini (hence my love for her). With competition wins not a part of her vocabulary, she used her gift for gab (and more and more gab) to attach herself to anybody that had temporary power. She will be missed.

Or is she really going? After wasting over two days on wine, sleep, and Cheetos, Britney actually attempted to work the room earlier today. Was it too little too late? Big Brother history says her chances are slim to none, but who knows what happened in those couple of hours before tonight's broadcast? I know I'd like to see it just to witness how it shakes up the dynamics of the house just minutes before what we believe is an endurance competition.

At the very least, her last-ditch attempts will create enough footage for CBS to create a little bit of doubt, so don't put too much stock into the opening segments. Before we get to the campaign footage, though, we have some explosive footage that occurred immediately after Jenn City (stupidly) used her veto to save Dan...who was replaced by our little blonde heroine.

After a hyperbole-fuelled recap...and another recap...and Dan's narrative recap...followed by Julie's second over-the-top recap...we finally get started. Dan is celebratory, Britney is sad, and Ian is angry. Britney's complaint is that "a giant carrot put me on the block next to my best friend in the house". Shane hugs her, whispering that he "had no idea what just happened". Ian is more worried that Frank now knows about his double-crossing, while Britney asks Danielle if she knew this was going to happen. "I had no idea", she lies.

Frank and Jenn City go upstairs to celebrate, while Dan goes into the lounge to quietly yell "I'm back!" Yes, cue more yelling in the diary room. He also continues talking to the camera, smugly saying this was his best move ever. We get it, Dan. Move on, Boy Wonder.

Ian is still furious, and stomps his way right up to the HOH. Is he going to pop Frank in the nose? Of course not. He just meekly says that he his "not too pleased", and Frank throws it back in his face that earlier he said he had "covered all of his own bases". Sending Britney home uncovers a base or two, I guess. Shane then enters as Ian's voice raises a bit, and he then heads downstairs.

Britney hugs him and says that it is fine, but Ian keeps pacing as Britney enters the lounge. "Dan lives to fight again", she says to him, who replies that it is "nothing personal". He tells her to go talk to the HOH, but she wants him to "just be honest". He doesn't reply, so she walks out. Oh wait, she has to stop to complain that he is being "cold" to her, and that he has to remember that he needs to remember she's a jury vote.

He just can't sit still! Danielle and Shane are still in the living room, and Ian now paces into their orbit with a beer in his hand. "I will revenge it. That's for sure." Shane wants to know how Jenn got involved with this, but Danielle is more concerned about her "acting".

It is now Britney's turn to complain to Frank, and she does the whole "it is what it is" line. Frank says that he had to do this to hurt Ian's game, but Britney claims he's not as close to her as Ash was to him. Now that is a silly argument. Plus, she had something to do with that move, which puts Britney into her typical overdrive...and that she knew this was coming. The tears come out (and the piano music) as both Frank and Jenn tell her how great she is. "I'll help you if you keep me." Too late, baby doll.

Back to angry Ian. Frank walks back into the living room, and Shane says that he understands it was a "tough decision". A tough decision that "you had several days to think about", adds Ian. Oh, it is on....and Dan loves it from the other room. "I thought they were taking advantage of you because you were a kid", says Frank, "but it turns out you're just trying to be sneaky." The talk moves on to booting Boogie, and Dan is really laughing now.

Ian finally sits down, and Frank comes back out of the storage room to start it all up again. This time, it is about Frank telling Boogie to give Ian the three grand, and how he repaid that by getting out Boogie. Ian then tells the entire house that anybody that sits next to Frank in the finals will lose 7-0. Um, doubtful. We end with Frank complaining about his carrot costume, Ian flipping the bird, and Britney crying. Perfect.

After commercials, we move on to the footage to make us think Britney has a chance. Everybody is outside, and Britney tells Frank that she's not mad at him. No, it's the person "who elbowed me in the face during phone machine. I don't want anybody to be under the misinterpretation that Dan doesn't want to do anything for anybody if it's not the best thing for them." That doesn't quite make sense, but I get what she's saying. She calls herself an idiot for believing his BS, but Ian jumps right to her defense. "No, you're not an idiot." Danielle, though, has to cover her face so that she doesn't spoil her cover. Frank, though, is happy that the focus is on Dan instead of him. Ok, Britney, enough. It is funny, but we have other things to deal with.

Britney then heads into the house, and runs into a quiet Dan. "You can't even say sorry." She says that the worst thing she's done in the game is to believe him.

Oh wait, there is Joe! He is in the bedroom with Shane, the "only person I trust right now". Joe tells him that he is the one who will have to make the call on who to evict, and we get footage of Joe's pledge to get down on his knees for a grateful Shane.

And cut. We have the footage necessary to make it seem up in the air, as we go right to Julie's insipid questions for the house. She begins with Ian, and his explosive words after the veto. She asks what the mood in the house is right now, and Ian says that although it is better it is tense. Jenn is then asked about her move, and she says it "was the most brutal decision I've made thus far in the house". Um, it is your only move in the house.

She goes on to suck on Dan for a bit, and he has a typical ridiculous ass-kissing reply. Julie then asks about Shane's tears during the funeral, and as always he can't string a sentence together. Thankfully, we are done with this always-terrible segment.

Before we get to the eviction, though, we have to have one last piece of Britney fluff. The segment starts with her looking back at her disastrous relationship with the "Brigade", and we have a reunion with these three silly (and one cool) guys. I only care about the Matt portion, especially when they showed the pic of him dressed as Britney for "Hoffoween"...or when he calls Danielle a stalker. YES!!!

To further the filler, Julie also talks to Frank. We will skip that portion.

Finally, it is eviction time. Danielle goes first with the final plea, and her Southern accent is accentuated for some reason as she say she loves everybody. Then Britney gets up and says hello to her husband, family, and BB fans. She says she "doesn't have the time or a big enough ego to host my own funeral but I understand that you have to do what is best for your own game". She ends by quoting a wise old man, "you'll always be Judas to me" as she points to Dan. I will miss the little bitch.

Voting starts with Dan, who obviously votes to evict Britney, as does Jenn. Ian, though, votes to evict Danielle. Shane, however, goes against Birtney. Yes, so does Joe. Britney is out by a 4-1 vote!

Julie reads the results, all is calm as she gathers her stuff and heads out. After the customary de-coloring of her name on the memory wall, Julie asks about her Judas comment. "As a lover of this game, I can really see that he did what he had to do to get off the block. I'm the one sitting here right now, so obviously I'm not happy about it." Julie asks if it is pure genius or pure evil, and Britney says both because "he flipped the house in an hour and used the Bible to do it".

She is then asked about how she went from being the "Queen" ("I try") to having the rug pulled out from under her, and Britney says that a lot of it had to do with Ian. "(He) got me into a lot of trouble, and I kept having to cover for him over and over." She doesn't regret being with him, though, but it "definitely got me into the trouble".

Julie reminds her that this is the second time she was blindsided, and Britney says she tried to "be super paranoid" this time around. Having helped get out two of the supposed greatest players ever (Boogie and Janelle), the question is whether she proved what she meant to prove. Not really, she says, as she really wanted to win.

With her influence on Ian and Shane now finished, Britney is asked how they will do in the remaining weeks. Britney believes that Ian will do fine, but he needs to relax. As for Shane, though, he will just continue "follow the lead of...Danielle or Dan. He's very expendable, but he doesn't see that for himself".

After being reminded of her goodbye message to Boogie, we get to see those for Britney. Danielle is her typical nonsensical self, while Dan tries to explain his move. "What went down this week made me really stick to my guns and fight for myself." Shane just talks about his pink shirt, and Ian tells her she's "one of the best people I've ever met...this season's true beauty has been evicted from the house. I will get that hairy, orange beast."

So now we move on to tonight's HOH competition, and yes, it is an endurance. But there is a twist, as there was a vote as to whether the first person out would get a treat or punishment. Thankfully, punishment barely won...and the first to drop has to open a box. They're not told if it is a punishment or reward.

Tonight's contest is one of those hanging on a small platform as it spins around a spitting "sun". Yeah, this won't last long...which is proven when we come back from commercials to see that Joe is already down...followed by Jenn a minute later! That is it for tonight, though, outside of Julie's announcement that next week is ANOTHER double eviction!

What did you think of tonight's show? Are you happy with Britney's eviction? Or her speech and interview? Or the return of "Der Bergade"? Tell us what you think!

Wednesday
Aug292012

Big Brother #14, Episode 21 Recap

In football, the term "Hail Mary" refers to a desperation pass at the end of a game that has little chance of success. With nothing left to lose, the ball is heaved towards the end zone with the hope that somebody somehow grabs it for a miracle win.

The origin of the term is a sore spot in my sports-viewing life. Being a fan of Minnesota sports teams has never been easy. Outside of a couple of Twins World Series victories, championships are never seen in the state.
The Minnesota Vikings are the most snakebit team of the state. For most of their existence (but not recently), they have always been in the hunt at the end of the year. In particular, 1975 was the year that broke every fan's heart. They rolled to a league-best 14-2 record, and had the number three offense AND defense in the league.

Then came the dreaded Dallas Cowboys in the playoffs. The Vikings were ahead 14-10 with fourth down and little time on the clock. Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach threw the ball up for grabs, and after a blatant shove that was ignored by the ref, receiver Drew Pearson grabbed it and ran in for the winning score. When interviewed later that night, Staubach said "I closed my eyes and said a 'Hail Mary". The term still sickens those that remember that awful day.

Tonight you're going to see the Big Brother version of a Hail Mary; a last-ditch effort by a house guest that should NEVER EVER have worked. The combination of a well-executed plan and a dimwitted supporting cast, though, changed this player's entire game. In fact, THE focus of this season has now changed thanks to an entire house being played and outplayed.

This move will come a bit later in the show, though, as we have a few other activities to sit through. Like every Wednesday episode, we must start off with the reactions to the nominations of Dan and Danielle, who starts it off with her undecipherable gibberish. Dan talks about how he is now the official number one target, but he's hoping to talk Ian into using the veto that he had won. Frank is all cocky about how Dan has failed to get him out of the house, and that this is his one "big swing" to "knock out of the park". (Foreshadow alert!) Ian, though, isn't sure whether to stick with Frank or The Quack Pack.

That alliance is exactly the focus of conversation between Britney and Dan, who have come up with a way to save both nominees. "We still have the votes if only one is still up", says Dan. Britney heads right to Ian with this plan, although he doesn't seem too confident.

And with that we head RIGHT to selecting the players for the veto competition. Wow, that was quick. Frank pulls out Shane's name, while Danielle gets Britney and Dan has House Guest choice. He goes with "Jenn City". In the diary room, Dan yells that he has to throw the veto to either Britney or Shane to save both nominees...but "THAT'S NOT HAPPENING...The only person I trust in this game is myself!"

We now get a rare Jenn sighting, as she lines up an alliance with Frank. She has looked at the memory wall, and can see how just moving a couple of pieces can further both of them. "You're not here by yourself."

It's veto competition time, and it's called "Draw Something". A picture is show, and when they have figured out what it is, they are to buzz in. Each word, though, is also a clue to a punishment. To earn the points, they have to take the punishment...and there is NO helping each other.

We go through the usual "I have to win this" bullshit just in case you forgot how the Quack Pack can survive before we get going. The first work of art is worth two points, and Frank clicks in to answer "avocado". He must dye himself green to win this, which he obviously does. "Are you sure you want me out of here that bad", asks Dan.

The next prize is worth five points, and Dan correctly answers "hunger", which pisses off Britney. "This guy is super selfish." Dan must eat two of four items, but since he can "eat Chef Joe's cooking, this should be easy".

On the third picture, Jenn answers "clock", and she has 90 seconds to burn her clothes. "Death and destruction is my jam." The fourth picture is worth six points, and Britney guesses "shackle". She has to pick her partner, and she is now shackled to Danielle for 24 hours. Somehow Danielle takes this to mean that Britney wants to be beside her "every minute of every day". Um, no.

Britney is now in the lead, with Dan in second place. Round 5 is worth seven points, and Frank guesses "shower". He now has to take a chum shower for the next 24 hours. He is now in the lead, and furthers this lead by picking "carrot" for the next round. He has to wear a carrot costume for the rest of the week.

Next up is a "bench", and Frank again wins. He has to sit out the next eligible HOH, which he admits is scary but that he can't afford to lose. Dan now screams that he is "STARTING TO FEEL THE HEAT". Round eight is correctly guessed by Danielle, who has to let her fellow house guests splatter he with paint. Yes, they all enjoy this task.

We now have an eight-point round, and Dan guesses "trip". He must agree to a 24 hour trip to the "Solitary Dance Party", and now Britney is REALLY pissed. Yes, we must hear the Quack Pack story one more time.

Dan is now in second place behind Frank as we head into the final round that is worth eleven points. If Frank or Dan get this one, they win. Britney rings in, but doesn't know the answer. Frank tries to help her, but is caught and disqualified! Dan suddenly has a smile!

After commercials, we go right back to this final round, and now Dan is in the lead. Britney is "freaking out" because she will probably be his replacement nominee. The round is started over, but Britney doesn't answer in time. Jenn City rings in, and by agreeing to eat nothing but slop she beats Dan, who told her that she is safe, by a score of 14-13!

Dan now has to immediately head to isolation, where he says he has to come up with a plan. Meanwhile, Jenn and Frank hug it out for her victory. "I showed you", she says. "You're not alone in this game." She adds that taking slop for the summer "shows I am a player". They both talk about how this ensure Dan's eviction.

A dejected Dan is then shown heading into the storage room for a sad moment, complete with sad music and a teary-eyed diary room. Whatever. Frank comes by and says that he wants to talk to him, but he walks by him to enter the disco room. His plan is to just think for the whole time on how he can get out of this mess.

Even a serious episode like tonight has to have some filler, though, and we get it with the Britney/Danielle shackle segment. Never mind. Oh yeah, and Frank's chum baths.

Interestingly enough, they don't show the house attempting to communicate with Dan. Instead, we head right to the moment where his time frame is up, and everybody congratulating him. Wait, but something is wrong with him!!! He staggers out of the room, and Britney complains about the smell of the room. He heads into the lounge, where everybody babies him. (Unfortunately, they don't show "Nurse" Danielle attending to him.) He tells Britney that he wants to have a house meeting...and suddenly he is fine as the entire house is on the couch!

Cue the dramatic music as Dan welcomes them to his "Big Brother" funeral. Go back to Ash's recap of this from Sunday for everything he says, but to sum it up he says nothing but great things to everybody...but Danielle! He starts off by indicating that she is this year's Memphis, but that he was wrong. "In this game, you will never earn my trust back. You are dead to me."

Her jaw drops (god, I love this) but he will not talk game to her ever again. "This is the death of Dan the player." As he walks away, Danielle asks what was he talking about, but in the diary room he talks about his great master plan. Or is he really sick?

After a great shot of Danielle as we went in to the last commercial, we come back with that exact same shot. Jenn asks if she knew what he was talking about, but Britney and Shane both think that this is his great plan to save himself. YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT THINKING THAT, YOU DUMMIES!

Shane and Danielle head off into the bedroom so she can whimper...and whimper...and whimper. Meanwhile, Dan goes off to the HOH with Frank. It is time for step two, which is to "blow up the Quack Pack". He apologizes for Boogie, but says that he had no role in it. It was the Quack Pack, and that it was Ian who is the "ruthless" one. Yes, we get the "I kept taking heat for that kid" line. Dan then points out that the most dangerous player in the house is actually Britney, because NOBODY would put her up.

Dan then moves in to how the veto ceremony was supposed to work with the two vetoes taking down both Dan and Danielle. He adds that nobody would ever think that the two of them would ever work together. Since Jenn holds the veto, Frank offers to go see if he can convince her to use it on him. At the same time, Dan needs to go talk to Danielle. Frank is still weary, but Dan swears that everything he is saying is true.

Dan does head downstairs for "damage control" with Danielle, and tells her "I just saved us both. I had to." She hits him with a pillow and turns away from him, saying "you broke my heart. You humiliated me in front of the whole house. Dan, I would have gone home for you." Oh, bullshit. She complains that she should have been given a heads-up, but he NEEDED her to cry. Suddenly, she is smiling. Danielle asks who is the person that is going to go up, but warns her that she's not going to like what she hears.

Finally, he tells her that it is Britney, and that she will be safe "because your sympathy meter is through the roof. No one's going to touch you now." It all depends on Jenn, though.

Jenn is now in the HOH with Frank, who tells her about Ian's role as turncoat. Frank asks if she would be willing to use the veto to save Dan, but Jenn is worried about how that will make her a target. "Dan will keep you safe, I promise." Yeah, right.

It is now veto ceremony time, and both Ian and Jenn City have to go through the motions of staring at the memory wall. Ian, though, is not going to use his veto, but 24 hours after her win Jenn is reconsidering her plan to also not use it. In case you forgot what happened in the last fifteen minutes, Dan and Frank repeat everything for us.

The veto meeting begins, and as he stated, Ian does not use it. Jenn then talks about how this is a "game move", and takes down Dan! Britney and Ian's eyes light right up! Frank then gets up, calls out Ian, and says that since he can't be put up he is going to nominate his biggest ally. "Britney, pop a squat!"

As we head out, Britney is bawling like Danielle, but Ian promises to REALLY come after Frank. Yeah, right. Jenn City adds that "this is what you get when you underestimate your girl...boom!" Dan yells even louder than usual as he celebrates how his plan actually worked!!!

So that is it for tonight! What an episode! What did you think of it? Were you disappointed in what WASN'T shown, such as Danielle's nursing work or Dan's winking for the cameras? Let us know!

Sunday
Aug262012

Big Brother #14, Episode 20 Recap

Pandora. It’s not just a crappy online music service that plays nothing but the Captain Obvious tracks. Nope, it’s also a Grodner favorite that appears at least once every Big Brother season; quite often involving her favorite pet, Jessie. It’s become such a BB cliché that all this week the current cast was predicting that it was going to happen any day now.

Pandora’s Box would probably not be as criticized by Big Brother purists if it didn’t affect the outcome of the game. Hell, at this point we’d be happy if the ramifications were minor. Instead, what happens due to this silliness completely changes the show. Last year, Rachel was on her way out the door when she was suddenly rescued by one of Grodner’s tricks. She went on to win the season.

Tonight is the night that Pandora enters this season. Who will it help? Who will it hurt? Big Brother fans on twitter seem to be split between those who believe production is assisting Frank and those who think Dan is getting a bit of an edge. With Frank as the new HOH (spoiler alert!) and Dan being his primary target (another spoiler alert!), we may see tonight just who Grodner favors.

Before we get to Pandora, though, we have quite a bit of material to get through, especially since the double eviction show ended without a new HOH. We start off by going back to Boogie’s eviction, and Ian’s comments to him as he walked out the door. Ian says that he “respected and admired him so much that he couldn’t let him walk out there blindsided”. As he hugs Frank, Boogie whispers that Ian can’t be trusted. As he walks out, Ian’s last words to Boogie are “get to steppin’, buddy” (a reference to the All-Stars season).

With Boogie out the door, Frank begins needling Ian about not voting for him…but we jump ahead to Ian winning an HOH that he says he tried to throw. Well, you were up against Danielle in the final round. That doesn’t make it easy. “The Quack Pack needs to go after Frank, but I don’t want to be the one to have to do it”, he explains.

Dan pulls Ian into the lounge to give him a pep talk, and as they walk out Frank orders him back. “You gonna put me up.” Ian asks if he’s going to fuck him over if he doesn’t, but Frank seems to accept the bullshit he feeds him. As if that’s not enough, then Britney and Shane corner him with their demands. For the first time ever, I feel for this dweeb! Ian, though, wants to backdoor Frank instead of a straight up nomination.

He finally gets out of the room, but now it is Ashley who wants to talk to him. Unfortunately, all she can say is “I don’t know what to say”. Ugh. They hug and walk out, and now it is Joe’s turn! Ian does talk a bit tough to Joe, demanding a week from him for not being nominated.

Now we finally get to the noms, and he puts up Frank and Ash. Dan is more than pleased, and leaps in joy in the hallway. Frank, though, isn’t so happy and yells out that he’s a “puppet”. That means the POV is a “life or death situation” for Frank…and, of course, he wins. “Good decision, Ian!” Ian stands by his original idea of backdooring Frank, as Frank continues to storm around the house bitching.

Once again, Frank pulls Ian into the lounge area, and this time they say Joe is their target. “We got the votes, I think.” Frank does indeed use the veto on himself (obviously), and Ian puts up Joe. “Hop a squat, man.” Joe’s not worried, though, even as Frank yells that he deserves to go more than Ashley.

Joe versus Frank continues on, as Frank complains that Joe has done nothing so far in the game. Valid point, but that doesn’t stop Ashley from being evicted…which leads to more screaming from Joe. Ian is depressed about this event, and Frank knows that since he was the only vote for Ash that means everybody is against him.

Frank is still screaming at Ian, even as Britney attempts to butt in. “Please don’t make him cry.” Ugh, this is getting old. Blah blah blah blah blah! Thankfully, it is commercial time.

When we return, Ian is feeling sorry for himself. “I’m a shitty person, dude.” Dan attempts to cheer him up, and says that he will set him up with his sister. Ian, though, thinks he’s “going to burn in hell”.

Meanwhile, Frank grabs Shane and Danielle for a chat. Shane claims that he believed Ian was going to nominate him, but Frank says in the diary room that he needs to make some new friends. Ian and Britney then walk in, but Frank sends Ian out. He then apologizes to everybody “except for Dan”. He is to blame for everything, you know. He says that he wants to put up Dan and Joe if he wins HOH, but if they’re not with him he’ll have to put Shane and Britney up “because you’re the two strongest players”.

For some reason, Danielle begins bawling even though none of this was directed at her. She wants to talk to Frank alone, so Britney and Shane leave. She says she has nothing against Frank, but she can’t do anything against Dan. At the same time, Britney and Shane talk about possibly working with Frank, but she doesn’t want anything to do with that but may have “no choice”.

Britney then goes into the storage room with Frank to announce they are now down with him. She does want Frank out, but she knows she may have to “adjust her game with the ebb and flow of this house on a daily basis”. Frank just hopes that he will not once again be stabbed in the back.

It is now HOH comp time, and it is the Labyrinth ball game. There’s more than just the HOH up for grabs, though, as the winner also gets to pick the one Have-Not for the week. To play the game, they have to pull on two strings to move the ball around the labyrinth into the hole with the highest score.

Danielle goes first, and scores an 8. Frank gets a 5, while Shane gets a 17, Jenn a 6, Joe a 10, Britney a 7, and Dan narrowly misses a 20 but ends up with a one. They are now ranked, and go one-on-one against each other from the bottom to top seeds.

This first round is Dan versus Frank, and it is a race to get the ball around holes to the top. Dan’s ball drops out of the labyrinth, so he races to grab it to start over. Frank, though, is too far ahead and he wins.

Frank basically has to play the entire house, however, and he now goes against Jenn. This is an easy win, and he then faces off against Britney. Once again, he easily wins, and Frank says he’s gaining confidence. The next round is against Danielle…and you know how that turns out. Joe is the next victim, leaving it all up to Shane to save the day for the Quack Pack. After commercials, Frank gets the HOH by easily defeating Shane…and Dan is in trouble.

Dan’s bad week begins by Frank selecting him for the week’s Have-Not, his first in Big Brother history. Ian, however, realizes that he may have to do some sucking up since two people are actually nominated. Britney beats Ian to the kissup session, though, and Frank comes right out and says that he is putting up Dan and Danielle. Britney couldn’t be happier, and she says that she will vote to keep Danielle. They even make a final four deal.

It is Pandora time, and you can tell that even Frank knows that by the dumb grin on his face as he enters the HOH. Guess what? He does open the box…as does everybody in Big Brother history. Inside the room, is a bunch of dollar signs, and he has to open three cubes to win up to ten grand. His first choice is only for $1.05, and his second one is $7.11. The third one, though, is a big winner - $3,333.33!

Meanwhile, at the same time the doors open for the rest of the house. A card is read that states there is a second veto in the house, but they need fifty cents. They start searching around the backyard until suddenly balls start falling from the sky. Dan grabs a few balls, and attempts to snag the veto. He fails, but lies that he did indeed win it. Wait, I thought Saint Dan didn’t lie!

Ian wants the veto just as bad as Dan, but his first attempt is also a failure. Britney hears some coins around Joe’s foot, and the two of them fight over the ball with the coins. Britney wins this little battle, and she actually has the veto for a second before it drops. Dan, meanwhile, is getting a bit aggressive in this competition, pushing people out of the way and slamming doors. Ian comes back in, but decides to wait for another person to place the ball in a better spot. Finally, Ian does indeed win the veto!!!

Frank is finally let out of the HOH, and takes a look at the backyard. Frank claims he really doesn’t know what to do now that Ian has won this veto. They go off for a little chat, and, as expected, Britney closely follows. He wants to ensure that Ian will not use his veto on Dan. “Do what you want to do” is all Ian says to him. “Can we just chill for now?” Britney thinks he should be put up so that he HAS to use it on himself, but she also says that if he threatens to put up Britney in his place Ian probably wouldn’t use it to save Dan. In the diary room, Britney claims she’s saying this to ensure that the entire Quack Pack could survive the week. Hmmm, I don’t know about that.

Ian comes back into the room, and they tell him this new little threat. In the DR, though, Ian says that he is just going to do “what is best for me”. Frank is confused, but Ian says that he “just gets scared” whenever he has to make a move. True dat.

So we are already at nomination time, and the first key pulled is Jenn, followed by Ian, Joe, Britney, and Shane. Yes, Dan and Danielle are this week’s nominees. Frank dedicates the noms to Mike and Ash, and says that he can’t pass up his third chance at getting him, while Danielle is “just a victim of circumstance”.

The show ends with the usual tears, threats, and promises from all involved. What did you think of tonight’s show? Is this really the end of Saint Dan? Tell us what you think!

Thursday
Aug232012

Big Brother #14, Episode 19 Recap

We gather here tonight to say goodbye to a legend. Well, a self-proclaimed legend. A man whose third tour of Big Brother duty will end tonight, thanks to a hammock-shaking dweeb who took to heart the lessons of his coach.

That's right - after tonight there is no more Chilltown II. No more badly scripted joint diary room cliches. No more tween outfits that look silly on any adult, let alone one in his early 40's. Mike "Boogie" Malin will be making his final exit tonight, and it is unlikely that we will ever seen him again outside of this season's finale.

But that's not all we'll see tonight, as this is a double eviction show. Or Fast Forward, or whatever cutesy name Grodner has Chen proclaim this annual event. Besides Boogie's eviction, there will be an HOH comp, nominations, a veto comp/meeting, and a second person leaving the house. One more HOH competition will probably close the show, although the results will likely not be known until the feeds come back on.

Before we get to all that, we do have one segment designed to make us believe that Boogie may not be going. Like last night's episode, there is actually a plethora of usable footage, and it is too bad that all of this is going to be summed up in a five minute segment. For more on what actually happened, be sure to tune in to this week's Big Brother Gossip Show.

Back to tonight's show, and the opening segment that shows Shane "shocking" the house with by putting up Jenn as his replacement nominee. Both Jenn and Boogie are clearly fuming as Dan offers a handshake after the ceremony, but Boogie tells him to "save it". Jenn admits to generally just laying back (obviously), but she is now "going to be a force to be reckoned with".

Frank, meanwhile, admits that he's happy to be off the block, but is pissed that Boogie may be leaving. He joins Boogie in the bedroom, where he is still going off on Dan's handshake attempt. Ian then wanders in the room, and says that it is "not going to be an easy decision" to choose between his two teammates. Boogie is pissed, but Ian immediately defuses it. "I have to make sure...that he doesn't find out that I'm working against him", he explains in the diary room. (By the way, it is already amazing how much material they're not using.)

Dan now wanders into the living room and kitchen, but neither Boogie or Jenn even acknowledge him. Britney heads into the lounge to gossip with Ashley and Danielle about how uncomfortable it all feels. Boogie then starts poking at Shane, who does his usual runaround, incomplete sentences, which causes Frank to say "stuff your sorries in a sack, man". Boogie adds that he just "looks like Dan's bitch right now". The girls in the other room are shocked because Boogie is "terrorizing the house".

The conversation goes back and forth, while Dan lays in the living room reading the Bible. We just ahead a few minutes, and Boogie is now sitting next to Dan throwing some more wisecracks. Jenn then enters the room, and she begins participating. Oh, in case you forgot, Dan has to remind us in the diary room that he's taking all this heat for Ian. Boogie adds that the others should remember that if Dan makes the final three he'll probably throw that last competition so he won't have to make that fatal decision.

We jump ahead to Jenn and Ian in the bedroom, and she is still reeling about being nominated. "They're going to have meet a new Jenn City, and she's just arrived". The footage jumps to her interrogating the rest of the house, saying how she's a "wild card" that is going to "go out kamikaze style". Ian, though, points out in the diary room that since she's just a pawn she needs to chill out.

So that's it for the entire first three days of the week, as we go right to the announcement that tonight is a double eviction (which they already know, btw). The second evictee will also be the first to enter the jury.

It is final plea time, and Jenn goes first with a pleasant enough speech that asks them to vote to "keep your trusted and loyal homie, Jenn City". Boogie starts off by thanking his business partner and his child, and then goes right to pleading Joe for his vote. For some reason, he ends with a shoutout to the New England Patriots.

Voting begins with silly Ashley, who votes to evict Jenn. Britney is the second vote, and as expected she votes to evict Boogie. Joe then enters, and Boogies' plea doesn't work as he votes to evict Boogie. Frank then ties it by voting against Jenn, but Dan, Ian, and Danielle all vote against Boogie. Boggie is out by a 5-2 vote!

Julie announces the results,, and Boogie calmly says goodbye. Ian apologizes, and hands him what appears to be sunglasses. When he hugs Frank, he loudly tells him that Ian is not to be trusted. "I know that already", Frank replies.

Boogie departs, and Julie starts off by asking what Ian told him. "He said that I will be seeing some things that I won't like. Apparently, I didn't get his vote. He referenced something I said to an evicted house guest during All-Stars, which was 'get to steppin', and he said it with a bit of conviction in his voice. He might be playing for the other side."

Boogie adds that he is pretty shocked by this, and that no one is to be trusted. He loves the kid, but if "he did me wrong, it is just going to reflect on him". The final goodbyes start off with silliness from Frank, but Britney imitates the Chilltown phone gimmick. "Oh hey Janelle, Boogie is not here." That's the Britney I love! Dan says that he has a high respect for him, and that he wanted to work with him. It wasn't him that "ratted you out". No, it was Ian, who talks about how he has been watching him since he was ten. While he does have "respect and admiration for how you played this game", he admits to the Quack Pack alliance. "This week, I masterminded your demise. I learned from one of the best, and that is why you're sitting with Julie right now." Boogie claps for him, and tips his hat. "The Quack Pack? Ohmigod!"

It's now time for the HOH competition, and it is a "Before/After" question competition. Julie reads off an event, and they have to pick if it happened before or after the second one she reads. The first question is about the lemon/limes and the zingbot, and Ashley is immediately out (shocker!). Willie's expulsion and Janelle's first coach win is the next question, and now Joe, Dan, and Jenn are out. The third question is the breaking news bulletins versus Jojo hosting a competition, and Frank screws up and is out! It's the game reset versus candy canes, and they all pick "before". The fifth question is about Wil's speech, and now Britney is out.

It is between Danielle and Ian for the tie-breaker. Julie asks how many seconds it took for the lime team to win. Danielle guesses 1200, while Ian goes for 1000. Ian is the new HOH!

Everybody rushes in as we go to commercials, and when we return Ian is shown making a one-week deal with Joe. Julie calls for them to gather in the house, and a nervous Ian puts up Frank and Ashley. "I'm really sorry, guys."

After yet another commercial, it is time for the veto competition. It is basically this year's version of the infamous comp from last year that saw Jeff laughingly screw up. They have to find clovers in a big pit of balls. After two found clovers, they get to grab the veto.

Ian is the first with a clover, followed by Frank and Joe. Danielle and Shane then both find one, but suddenly Frank finds the second one AND the veto. He has saved himself once again!

Shockingly, Frank does indeed use the veto after we had to endure him wondering about Ian's next move with Shane and Britney. Ian replaces him with Joe ("pop a squat").

CBS is clearly paying a lot of bills tonight, as we have yet ANOTHER commercial break before the next round of final pleas and voting. Ashley goes first, and she is obviously on Xanax. She is slurring her words as she babbles about how she has been underestimated. Seriously, I can't understand her. Julie finally shuts her up. Joe then gets up and doesn't speak. It's all hand movements. Yeah, you're really funny.

Jenn is the first vote, and she votes to evict Ashley, as does Shane and Britney. Frank, though, votes against the "terrible chef", but Danielle seals the fate by voting against Ashley. For the record, Dan also votes against Ashley. What a waste of a double eviction night! Ashley meanders through her hugs and out the door. Just awful.

Before the dumb interview, we get a peak in the house as Frank is wandering around complaining about everybody. Julie interviews Ashley, but I have no idea what she is saying. Thankfully, it's a short interview...and the show is over.

Your thoughts? Are you happy Boogie is gone? Or that Frank is still there? Most importantly, what types of meds is Ashley on? Let us know!

Wednesday
Aug222012

Big Brother #14, Episode 18 Recap

I'm sure this will shock a good percentage of you readers who are tired of my negative attitude this season, but I'm actually kind of excited to see tonight's episode. There was a ton of activity in the house between Friday night and late Monday morning, the time frame this episode covers, so we shouldn't have ANY filler (but probably will).

So much happened, in fact, that it is inevitable that some quality material just won't be used, particularly from the post-nomination fireworks that went on throughout most of Friday night. Sadly, this will also happen tomorrow night, as three days of explosive actions and paranoia will be dwindled down into one short segment before the "fast forward" activities commence.

Let's jump right into tonight's show with the emotional fury that kicked off immediately after Shane's (not so) shocking nominations of Frank and Boogie. Shane explains that he had to go after them after he heard that Boogie and Frank were coming after them, but Frank calls Shane his "best friend" and he feels "blindsided". Really? Boogie's response? "Shane done lost his mind!" He still thinks that there is a chance both of them will stay. Ian, meanwhile, is beyond happy but hopes that nobody discovers he had a part in this.

Frank heads into the bedroom to talk to Boogie, and they decide that it was Britney, with the backing of Dan. Boogie says he has nothing to lose, so "I'll blow the whole thing up". Frank reiterates that Dan definitely has something to do with this.

They head out, and ask to talk to Shane. This is a mind-numbing conversation, as Shane talks about how his name had come up in conversations from others. "Are you claiming that you know something beyond what the whole house knows?", asks Boogie. Shane throws out Joe's name as their source (which isn't quite how the conversation went), and that combined with the cube with the question mark in the arcade game is why they went up.

Boogie is furious, and Frank presses Shane until he does throw out Britney's name. Apparently, she influenced him to make a "big move...obviously, I don't have a good social game". "Yeah, we know", says Boogie. Shane basically lets the entire cat out of the bag, and the conversation finally ends with Boogie saying they could work together again if he "fixes" this.

Britney now comes up to the HOH to find out what was said about her, and Shane stupidly tells her all. Seriously, we covered this all on the last Big Brother Gossip Show. Britney is obviously not happy, and lets him know it...and she now "has to run downstairs to do damage control".

She heads into the bedroom to talk to Boogie and Frank, and honestly we had a better clip of this conversation last Saturday. Boogie brushes her off, saying "you're using him as your puppet". Boogie does try to get more info out of her by asking who else was giving Shane info, but Britney continues to just deflect all the blame away from her. Shane walks into the room, but Britney tells him to leave...and then she claims that a "super reliable source" gave the info. Frank comes right out and says it has to be Dan.

Conversation over, she heads into the lounge and whines to Shane that she "quit her job and left her husband" to come here, and it's not right that he threw her under the bus. Shane backtracks a little bit, and says that he couldn't let it out that the others (Dan and Ian) were also involved. "Did you want me to throw everybody under the bus?" Britney actually makes the most sense here, but that's mainly because Shane's under-100 IQ makes it impossible for him to create a coherent sentence.

Ian now walks into the room where Frank and Boogie are sitting, and they stupidly let him know that they believe Dan is the person who "convinced Britney and Shane to take a run at us". Ian plays along, claiming Dan is a "wolf in sheep's clothing". Oh, Ian is loving every second of this.

After commercials, Boogie and Dan are lying around in the bedroom, and Boogie is being not-so-subtle with his wisecracks. Dan claims that he would not do anything against them, and Boogie points out that last week's targets were more dangerous than Wil. Dan screams in the diary room that he can't expose Ian, but also denies that he had anything to do with the nominations.

Dan then heads up to the HOH, where Shane is talking to Frank and Britney. Boogie follows them to have "an open forum". Dan says to "fire away and I'm sure we'll answer honestly", which made me choke on my whiskey a little bit. I guess Britney has been taking diary room lessons from Joe and Dan, as she now screams.

This meeting finally ends with Boogie saying that Dan's silence says everything, but Dan swears on his wife that he's not lying. Frank laughs, saying he has lied to him before, but he's supposedly not this time. Boogie isn't buying it. "I think I got it."

Once Frank and Boogie leave, Dan complains that he can't keep "taking the heat for that kid", but Britney says Ian has been giving them great info. He says that he'll take heat for the group as long as that kid appreciates it. "Otherwise, I'll throw him to the wolves. I don't care."

It is now time to pick veto players, and this should be interesting as there are TONS of rumors over what happened here. Shane picks first, and gets Jenn. Boogie then reaches in the bag, and pulls out the House Guest choice pin. He chooses Ian, but Ian doesn't know he's being chosen because he probably won't win not because he still thinks he's an ally.

A long shot is then shown of Frank reaching into the bag, and he also gets HG choice...and chooses Ashley. Now here's where the controversy lies. He had originally pulled out Ian's chip, but Ian was already in the game. He pulled a second time, and this time got HG choice. Reportedly, CBS asked for a second take, and Frank palmed that chip to make sure CBS got the proper shot. Is that how it happened? I guess we'll never know. Either way, both Boogie and Frank are happy because Dan isn't in the competition.

They head outside to "Big Brother Candy World", which pleases that dumb hippy Ashley. They get five minutes to stare at all of the exhibits, and even Shane has figured out that it is a "counting game". Ian, meanwhile, knows he has to throw it as a win will create an expectation to save either Frank or Boogie.

So the game goes like this - they have to make guesses on the number of items, and the winner is the person closest to the correct answer. The first to "win" three lollipops wins, and the one farthest from the answer is out.

The first question is a candy chick mural, and, of course, whenever they have diary room commentary form Ashley you have to have the "silly" music. Frank, Shane, and Boogie "stay" in this round, and Frank wins the first lollipop. Boogie is already out.

In the second round, it's a lollipop tree, and after more stupidity from Ashley, it is between Frank, Shane, and Jenn. Frank wins once again, and Jenn is now out. The third question is a giant vat of candy hearts, but this time Frank folds. It is between Shane and Ian, and this time Ian is out of the game (but he's obviously not too upset).

For the fourth round, it is candy heart drops on a wall, and Frank again folds. It is between Shane and Ashley, and this time Ashley gets the lollipop...but Shane is now eliminated. If Frank had stayed in, he would have won.

Instead, it is now between Ashley and Frank, which causes Dan to yell some more in the diary room. We have a giant gumball machine, and dumb Ashley folds to give Frank the automatic veto (which he would have won anyway since his answer was closer). Yes, Dan and pals, we know it is your "worst case scenario".

After another round of commercials, we move to the token appearance of Jenn for tonight's episode. She's sitting with all of the "floaters", and Boogie says that he needs to rally the troops to go against Dan, Britney, and company. "I've got to get these guys fired up." He tells them all about how Dan works on them not by competitions, but by his social game. Jenn says that Boogie is making sense if she is to have any chance of winning the game.

Boogie is now seen in the HOH with Britney, making amends of sorts. He thinks that if he can get her trust, maybe he can get Dan on the block. "Part of my problem right now isn't going home or losing the game, but losing friendships." Oh Lord. He "does a Janelle", by adding fake tears as he talks about hoping that she continues to work with Frank, but Britney isn't buying it. "Come on, Boogie. Tears?"

Oooh, a second Jenn appearance...as she is now talking with Jenn. She points out that Dan is "the most dangerous player here", and that he should think about the long term.

One more attempt from Boogie, as he heads upstairs once again for a final talk with Shane. "Dan is such a scary person to leave in this game." He gives Shane a history lesson on how Dan lets everybody else do his dirty work, and Shane claims that he has been thinking about this. Meanwhile, Danielle is freaking out to Britney that this conversation is taking so long. Boogie, though, is hopeful that being the last person to talk to the "idiot savant...minus the savant" will be the voice that makes it happen.

So it is now veto meeting time, and after all of the background conversation on who it should be that replaces Frank, Shane gets up and puts up...Jenn. Boogie is obviously not happy, nor is Jenn as she almost rejects a handshake from Dan and says she is now fired up. Boogie claims he still has hope, though, as he believes he has a couple of votes. One of those votes, however, is Ian, who has a "hand in his going home".

That's all, folks! What did you think of tonight's show? Did they accurately show most of what happened this past weekend? Was the nomination of Jenn a smart move? Tell us. Tell us now!

Sunday
Aug192012

No Recap Tonight

Due to a combo of technical difficulties and a trio of family birthdays, there won't be a recap tonight. Tonight's episode is primarily the "Slip-n-Slide" endurance comp anyway, which we fully covered as it happened this past Thursday. For more details on the post-HOH activities, listen to our latest Big Brother Gossip Show episode!

Thursday
Aug162012

Big Brother #14, Episode 16 Recap

I have absolutely nothing for an intro tonight. No obscure song lyrics, no analogies to other famous or not-so-famous people. It's been a long week with a pre-determined outcome, so let's just get it over with. Plus, we have to endure the inclusion of a person who has worn out his welcome to the vast majority of Big Brother viewers...or at least those that don't own cats, have dog avatars, or munch on bon bons all night.

So let's get right to it. Actually, I'm just going to guess what we see at the beginning as I cap the picture of Julie that you see on the top of this post. The non-use of the veto will be replayed, and Dan will be thankful he's not being backdoored, and both Wil and Joe will have quips about how it's not over yet. Add to that an explanation from Frank and Boogie, and possibly some "Quack Pack" gibberish from Ian and we can move on to the footage edited to make it appear as if anything is possible tonight.

Ash and Wil are now at the kitchen counter, with Wil complaining that it doesn't look goof for him. Ashley attempts to give him some hope by saying "things change all the time".

Meanwhile, Britney is telling Shane and Danielle that she was nervous about the veto ceremony, and how they need to win HOH the next week. Britney is pissed that there was even a possibility that Frank may go against the alliance. Dan wanders in, and Britney says that he was really close to being put up.

Ash is now shown wandering outside to talk to Joe, and they both complain about how "nobody is willing to rock the boat". Joe asks about her vote, and she claims she doesn't know. Joe screams in the diary room that her "maybe" is a no, and that he needs to work for the votes.

Dan is now in the HOH listening to Frank's CD, and Frank decides to scare him. They have a talk about trust, and Dan says he appreciates that he wasn't put up. Frank admits that it did cross his mind, but he didn't because of their alliance. Dan, though, says that even "entertaining the thought" indicates that he can't be trusted.

Frank is then asked who he wants to see leave, and he says Wil is the "best bet. With Wil gone, Ashley will be by herself. Her and Joe won't mesh well and work well together." Plus, Joe will be easy to get rid of at anytime.

Filler time, as Ashley asks Frank on an ice cream date. She says in the diary room that while she does want to go on this date, she also wants to use it to get info. Ian, who is sitting nearby, is not happy with this, and claims that he was going to make dinner for her at some point. "No you weren't", replies Dan.

This phony date for the Showtime cameras are now shown, and she does bring up Wil. Unfortunately, she doesn't do much to help him out as she complains about how she is so lonely. Frank's idea is that they conclude the date by making out.

Meanwhile, Britney tells Ian that he has been dumped. They cut right back to Frank, who pulls Ashley to the couch to indeed make out. Gross. Quick cut back to Britney asking Ian if he thinks they'll make out. "I kind of thought we were exclusive."

Cut back to the lovebirds, with Frank asking about Ian. Ashley claims he was faking his jealousy earlier, but Frank knows better. OK, enough on this.

Finally, it's over and Wil is now sort of asking Britney, Danielle, and Shane about their votes. Kind of is the key word, as he says that he really doesn't want to bother them. He quickly gives up and walks back inside, which gives Britney another opportunity to whine. Joe then comes out and is a bit more forceful (but no better) with his pleas. Ian has joined them, and Shane has to remind us that the "Quack Pack" is in charge of the votes.

Oh God, CBS is having a twitter contest for tonight's HOH comp. People can vote to have one of two temptation - ten grand or a Havenot pass. Oh please. Who wouldn't take the cash?

Well, they have time for more filler, as we meet Joe's family. Wow, even his wife makes fun of his loud voice! This is the customary family segment, slicing talks the HG has about said family with interview segments...along with fake, staged footage of them watching on TV. Oh yeah, and the entire family HATES Boogie.

Ugh, speaking of wasted time. It's Jeff time. I've heard his awful online show, and trust me he has NOTHING to add here. Time to fast forward.

Time to talk to Julie, who announces they are past the halfway part of the show. For some reason, she reads off a "current event pop quiz". Time to grab more pics.

Silliness completed, Wil gets up for his final plea. He makes a joke about how they're all "snoops" and "liars", but then says it is a win-win situation for him either way. He can stay with great people in the house, or be reunited with his wonderful family. He pleads them all to vote for their own game, and that he loves and adores them all.

Joe then gets up and says that Wil's campaign is that he's "loud". He babbles that he is taking lessons on "human whispering", and that he's also heard that Wil has said he has a "Sharon Osbourne game going on in here". What does that even mean? He carries on and on until Julie tells him to shut it down. He finally concludes by saying that if they keep him there he'll keep them fed. WTF?

The voting begins with Ashley, who votes to evict Joe. Boogie is next, and he votes to evict Wil...and we go to commercials. When we return, Danielle votes against Wil, but Jenn votes to evict "Chef Joe". Dan is up next, and after his customary bullshit to Julie votes to evict Wil...as does Britney, Shane, and Ian. Wil is evicted by a 8-2 vote.

Julie reads the results, and Wil flamboyantly whips off his jacket before hugging everybody. Putting on a captain's hat, he heads out. "I ain't nobody's mama," he proclaims (or at least I think that's what he said) as he struts out the door.

Julie starts the questioning about asking why Joe survived, and he says that he's a bigger threat than the loudmouth chef. She then asks about the meeting where he was aloof towards Frank, and Wil explains that he didn't want to be asskisser or throw people under the bus.

Unfortunately, the questioning is ALREADY over (I guess they needed the time for stupid Jeff), so we go right to the goodbye speeches. We start with Joe, who complains about him going against Janelle and his team. Dan says he wanted to work with Wil because he thought that Wil would go after Frank and Boogie, but his emotions got in the way. Ashley says that she's going to miss him, and that he should have kissed some butt. Oh Lord, we end with Boogie, who said he wished he could have coached him. By being the "funny guy", he could have coasted to the final five. Julie ends the segment by telling Wil about the "Silent Six".

Goodbye Wil, you will be missed (by our Ash, at least). It's HOH time, and it's another repeat. This time, it's the Slip-n-slide comp that Jeff won last year. You know, the one where there are soap suds and they have to haul little cups of a liquid to fill a jug. Yeah, that one.

Before the competition begins, though, Julie reads the results of the twitter poll. Oh, so there is more to it than we were told. There are two smaller jugs. One is for "safety", which guarantees they cannot be nominated this week. The other is the result of the poll, and "America" voted for the ten grand. But once the HOH has been crowned, any unclaimed prize will be unavailable.

So the game commences, and Danielle is the first to fall over. Instead of soap suds this year, though, it is an ice rink. Ashley slowly waddles across, while Ian decides to slide. Oh wait, silly Ashley also decides to slide...but for some reason we end the segment with a terrible view of Danielle's ample ass.

So that's it for tonight, but not before we hear that next week is a double eviction. Oh, and also Boogie is the only person going for the money, while the rest are split 50/50 on safety or HOH. Hop onto the live feeds to see who wins this competition, and also let us know what you thought of tonight's show. Were you sad to see Wil leave? How about that Jeff segment? Or Joe's family?

Wednesday
Aug152012

Big Brother #14, Episode 15 Recap

To say this has been a quiet week would be a huge understatement. There just hasn't been anything going on, which does not bode well for tonight's episode. Expect a ton of filler, along with the return of a certain low budget robot. Add to that a glimmer of hope before the veto ceremony and you have tonight's entire episode.

Guess what we begin with tonight? Yes, it is the reactions to the nominations of Wil and Joe, and my suggestion is that you plug your ears to mute Joe's stereotypical full volume approach. Wil says as the game goes on, it's impossible to not take things personal and "I'm coming back for revenge". Frank admits that Wil's attitude is changing the focus from Joe to Wil. As he has said in previous shows, Joe isn't giving up. "Pack a lunch, America, because I'm going to work."

Danielle and Dan head into the bedroom, where Danielle points out that Frank and Boogie weren't lying. "Not yet", replies Dan. "You just got to be on your toes." Dan says that while he's relieved he wasn't nominated, but he still doesn't trust them as he could still be backdoored.

Meanwhile, Boogie and Frank are again patting themselves on the back, and Boogie wants Wil out because he "is such a liar". Yes, I can hear our Night Owl correspondent screaming from a half country away. Boogie explains that it was all about that attitude Wil had before nominations, and they decide to make Joe their "loyal pet". For this to happen, though, they need to talk to him.

Cue up a conversation that actually happened before the nominations, where Frank told Joe that he isn't the target this week. We used this clip on the last Big Brother Gossip Show, where Frank said that he has to keep everything on the downlow.

Boogie is then shown pulling into the lounge, and he explains that "one of my favorite pasttimes in the Big Brother house is to tell people they're 100% safe...and just do the opposite". Wil pretends to believe Boogie, but he laughs in the diary room that he's laughing at Boogie's suggestion that he pick him in the veto competition.

Now it is time for fake showmance filler, as Britney and Shane talk about how uncomfortable Danielle sometimes makes him. According to the scripted diary room dialogue, the only thing keeping the couple apart is that a showmance creates two targets.

Britney adds that while they're in this "Silent Six" alliance, she also doesn't trust Boogie and Frank. "There's definitely the possibility that they could backdoor Shane this week." It's important that THEY win the veto.

After the first commercial break, it's time for Frank to shun the spiritard. Yes, more silly filler. He gives a dumb cheer (that was taught by Danielle) and strips it off before diving in the pool. Well, at least his body saw some water this week.

Back to the game, and Ashley and Wil are chatting. Ashley says that she wants to help Wil, but she's helpless with her back injury. He then cozies up with Danielle, mainly because he doesn't buy Boogie's story that he's not the target this week. Wil then tells her his life story, and how bullying has inspired his move into music, and thankfully Danielle's interruptions are edited out.

Now it's time to select the veto players, and this week there are seven players because of Shane's veto ticket from last week. Frank pulls out Jenn, Joe gets Houseguest Choice that he uses on an injured Ashley (because he's alone), and Wil does pull out Boogie's chip! "Of course, the chip I pull out for the veto competition is the last person I want playing. Just for once, I'd like something to go my way this week." The host for the comp will be Ian, and Dan states one more time he's worried that he'll be backdoored.

And now the silliness commences. A bunch of people are lying around, and suddenly the "Zingbot" enters through the diary room door. "I'm baaaaack." The first "zinger" is to Ashley, and how her smile is the "only thing about you that's bright". Shane's zinger is about his pink tank top, but he says he's "comfortable with my sexuality". Are you? Are you really?

Britney gets a shot her way about the Brigade, and Joe and Boogie get jokes about their age. Ian's zinger is about how for a chemistry student he actually has no chemistry with the ladies, while Jenn's "bad ink" is compared to a gossip magazine. Frank is laughed at for stealing Little Orphan Annie, but he claims to not know who that is.

Ooooh, here's the good one. "Danielle, I hear Shane is going to give you a special gift after the season - a restraining order." YES!!! POW!!! POW!!! The entire house loves this one...as does most of America. Yes, you can see the steam pouring out of her tiny brain.

Now it is time for the actual competition. It's another retread competition of sorts, where the players have to "bring baby Zingbot to life" by building a pipeline from one contraption to another. Then a magnet is used to transfer a ball from one end to the other.

After the customary declarations on how important it is to win this game, the competition begins. Jenn decides that the best method is to lay out all the pieces on the ground, and then pick the ones that fit each spot. Ashley, though, has no clue what she's doing, and complains that she never plays with puzzles. Boogie asks Ian for help, which pisses off Wil (and allows for a botox joke from Britney).

Britney then gives some tips to Shane, which segues into some whining from Danielle about wanting to kick the zingbot in the face. Dan adds that "taking puzzle advice from Britney is like taking dating advice from Ian". Good one, coach. Seriously, it was.

At this point, I'm bored with the competition, especially since we have more clips of Dan and Joe yelling. Wil is as frustrated as me, and Frank is edging closer and closer to victory. He drops the ball into the end, and ends up winning the competition! Baby Zingbot then walks out with Frank's veto necklace, which please a seemingly drugged Ashley.

When we return from commercials, Britney and Dan are "doing schematics". Britney is worried for Dan, and she complains that it's not right that after only one week they aren't trusting their alliance. Dan adds in the diary room that putting him up wouldn't be a bad idea, but doesn't think Frank  would have the votes. Britney doesn't agree, and they decide it all comes down to Ian.

Now Wil is outside talking to Jenn and Ash, and says he can't believe that Frank isn't using this opportunity to "make a huge move". With the two biggest targets not winning veto, he should use this time to go after them. Jenn adds that there must be something going on if with those people if there isn't a move to change the nominations. Wil decides that he needs to go talk to Frank to inform him that they would indeed have the votes.

Wil and Ashley head into the HOH to make their pitch. Frank counters that he's worried that it would backfire on him if it didn't work. Wil states his belief what the votes would be, but Ashley continues talking. In the diary room, Frank claims that it's making him think as this is exactly what he has wanted to do all along.

At the same time, Britney and Ian have noticed that this meeting is happening, and sends her little lapdog up to investigate. Wil and Ashley are now gone, so Ian picks his brain if "the plan is still going". Frank, who for some reason is reading the Bible, says "probably", and then stupidly lets Ian know that he is giving thought to putting up Dan. Ian immediately covers his face, but lies that he would vote as Frank wanted if the move was made. It's all about the Quack Pack to Ian, you know. Frank continues to give his reasons, but Ian pooh-poohs them all. "Dan's word is dirt", says Frank, but Ian doesn't want to "rock the boat".

Ian heads back downstairs, and tells Britney and Danielle about his "rock the boat" mantra. Danielle asks who the replacement would be, and he says that Frank is "scared of Dan". Britney, who is embarrassed by the Quack Pack name, tells Danielle to not let Dan know what is going on.

It's now the following morning, and Frank lets Boogie know about the late-night conversations that he missed. Boogie once again says that it is too early to think about going after Dan, and says he doesn't believe Dan is "as threatened by you as you think". This goes back and forth for just enough time to raise some questions as to what will happen in the concluding segment of the show.

It is finally time for the veto ceremony, and everybody does a fine job reading their scripts about trust and hope and big moves. Frank calls everybody back into the house...and does NOT use the veto. Shocker! Frank says he needs "to pick my battles", and Dan says he won last time by "dodging bullets" like this one. Of course, Wil doesn't agree that it was a smart play, and says Frank should "watch his back". Joe yells something about getting votes, while Ian is just happy his beloved (but virtually non-existent) Quack Pack still exists.

Ugh, "fan favorite" Jeff is on tomorrow night's eviction show. Why, CBS? Why? Gross. So...what did you think of tonight's episode? Did you like the Zingbot segment? Should Frank have used the veto? (Yes, Ash, we know your opinion.) Tell us your thoughts!

Sunday
Aug122012

Big Brother #14, Episode 14 Recap

Apparently, there is a strike of sorts going on tonight. As we talked about on last night's Big Brother Gossip Show, there was a short diary room leak to the house that could have potentially informed the entire house of the "Secret Six" alliance.

Nothing really came out of this leak besides a line of questioning from Joe, and Janelle was still evicted on Thursday. That hasn't stopped at least one website, and a number of that person's followers, from claiming that they are now boycotting the feeds and tonight's show. The claim is that enough angry tweeters will be enough for CBS to cut out the production interference in the casting, game design, feeds, and the actual broadcast.

Isn't that cute? I'm all for grassroots behind-the-scenes involvement by fans and critics, but nothing will change even if every single person who uses the #bb14 hashtag suddenly disappear from the Nielsen counters. If you're a part of this movement, more power to you, and at least you'll still know what happens from this recap. I'll happily watch so you don't have to.

In case you're not aware of the typical Sunday night template, you're going to see reactions to Thursday's eviction and HOH competition, some plotting, a HOH room reveal (zzzz), a Have-Not competition, more plotting, and nominations. Hopefully, there won't be any fake showmance filler, but I'm not holding my breath.

Here we go with a flashback to Janelle's eviction. Frank wonders how he has managed to survive through three nominations, while Joe SCREAMS his displeasure at the 8-1 vote. "NOW I'M ON AN ISLAND ALL BY MY LONESOME SELF!" Shut up! Wil adds that he was quite confident that nothing would come out of voting against his former coach, so why not join them to keep from being a target? (Foreshadow alert!)

With Janelle gone, we have to have the typical idiotic celebration dance from Boogie and Frank. "Ding dong, the witch is dead", says Boogie. Yes, we know about your All-Star eviction, Mike. "It's safe to say...I'm on top of the house."

Meanwhile, Britney is crying that she helped evict a friend, an ally, a lifelong sister. Then why did you do it, you silly twit? Joe is then seen pacing around the house, and Ashley tells him that she is sorry, but he just brushes her off as he wanders past.

We then jump to Frank's HOH victory, and another silly Chilltown celebration. Yes, we know, Frank. You've gone from almost-evicted to HOH twice now. For some reason, we have to also hear Danielle complain that she better be safe. (No foreshadowing here.) Joe, however, knows he's in trouble...and slowly yells once again. Dan believes that this week will be the Silent Six's ultimate test to see if they really are a team.

Joe has gone right into the bedroom, and in the diary room complains "there are some despicable human filth in this house". He lies on the bed as his rant continues on, but he knows he's in trouble. Frank wanders in to ask him a cooking question, but Joe clearly doesn't want to help with the cooking.

Britney is also sad, still crying about evicting Janelle. Danielle attempts to calm her down by coldly saying "you're that closer to the money". Britney thinks that Frank is going to win the game, but Danielle counters that everybody will be gunning for him...which may be the smartest thing she's said all season. Britney isn't buying it however. "If he's in the final three, it's over. Sign the check." Danielle, though, says she's beaten him twice, and can do it again. Um, wow.

Frank and Boogie are now plotting their week, and the goal is to "really work Wil". Frank, though, wants to put up Joe and Dan, which makes Boogie laugh. Frank's view is that after last week's attempt at a blindside, maybe he should know what it feels like. Cooler heads prevail, though, as Boogie explains how they're going to need Dan and Danielle's votes.

HOH reveal time. No need to recap this.

Wil and Ash are now talking, and Ash has suddenly awakened. She just now has realized she voted out somebody who is "on my side. Now it's just me and Wil playing this game alone." Really? Who are these people? Joe joins them to find out why they voted against Janelle. Wil says he didn't have any deal for his vote, and explains it's because he has a big mouth AND being her only vote makes Joe a big target. Ash also babbles something, but it's not a human language. Joe figures that the three of them are the only possible candidates for nomination.

Filler time, as Shane and Frank talk about dreams. Um, no way I'm going on about that idiocy. Even worse, it's followed by out-of-context fake showmance shit with Danielle and Shane. Please, they are NOT a showmance!!!

Thankfully, this segment is now over and we're back to game talk...kind of. Boogie is gloating how the last three evictions...or exits have been people he didn't want around. Frank and Boogie are feeling Dan out about putting one of their own up as a pawn to "disguise" their big alliance, and Dan wants no part of being that pawn. "I'm such a threat in this house that if I'm on the block I'm going home." Boogie's response? "You don't trust your alliance, huh?" Would you?

More filler time, as Britney and Boogie talk about how Danielle hates mornings. We also have to endure talk of her idiocy about calling herself a school teacher, and Boogie lets it out that he doesn't believe that story anyway. He believes she's either in medical school or is a nurse. The only good part of this conversation is Britney's super short shorts, and sitting in a non-classy position.

On to another big topic of the last couple of days - Ashley's medical issues. She has awful back spasms that make it so she can barely move, so the boys have to help her move around the house. "I am very lucky I have two muscular man-crutches", she says. "I feel very blessed to have everybody be so kind to me."

As if there's not enough filler in this episode, we have a have-not competition. Since Ashley is injured, she can either play or have Frank play for her. She goes with Frank. Bandanas and hats are handed to Ian, who is immediately tackled.

This week's game features everybody dressed as giant limes and lemons, and there's a lemon pond. The lemon team is Joe, Britney, Shane, Danielle, and Jenn dressed as a farmer. The rest are the limes, with Frank as the farmer. The competition has everybody soaking up juice from the big pond, and they must squeeze their juice into the jars of the other team. Boogie whispers to his team to also fill their mouths with the juice to spit into the jar.

Britney and Danielle don't want to be have-nots, as you may expect. Also, in case you didn't understand how the game works, Dan yelled it out once again in the diary room. Once the game began, it became the farmers job to help squeeze the juice out of the costumes. Danielle is appalled that a lesbian is now humping her. Oh please. I'm sure you've had those fake lesbian bar kisses to get the attention of the boys.

There are plenty of other thinly-veiled gay jokes, and even more Britney bitching. Joe doesn't appear to be doing much other than sitting in the pool, which has Daniele whining, and Ian is bummed that this would have been a possibility for Ashley to be on top of him. Ugh, even more fake showmance stuff as we see Danielle and Shane hugging to get juice.

Jenn's team is far behind, but suddenly the other team has a kink in their hose. Maybe they has a shot in the game! Frank discovers the kink, but it is now almost even. Finally, the game ends with a victory for the lemons! The Have-nots for this week are Shane, Danielle, Britney, and Joe (who complains and complains).

They walk into the house to discover their food for the week, which is candy canes and cod. Cue more whining from Danielle, but Britney isn't so upset.

Joe now heads up to talk to Frank. He says that since he's alone in the game, this could be good for his game. He also wants Frank to think about loyalty, and also how "there is not a soul that (Wil) has not lied to...if it is in my power I will try to get him out before I leave here".

My God, even more filler after another commercial. Seriously, people diving into the pool with a mini-basketball is worthy footage?

Ok, back to the game. Wil heads into the HOH to "grab your ear for a hot second". He says he expects to go up, and there's no hard feelings. Boogie goes on about going after duos at a certain point, and that their focus is on Joe. Frank asks who Wil wants to go after Joe's departure? Wil demurs, saying it's a "dangerous question", and that he believes there is a large group working together. He refrains from commenting on who he wants to go out, and Boogie is flabbergasted after he leaves. Suddenly, he is the target...although Frank still wants to get revenge on Dan. Boogie counsels that they are still not considered trustworthy, and it is not the right time to do this. "When you make a run at somebody like that, it has to be definite." For the CBS footage, though, Frank reminds us that it is still his decision as to who is nominated.

Finally, it is nomination time. We get the usual silliness from those that may be put up, including Dan (yeah, right), before everybody is pulled in. The first key pulled belongs to Britney, followed by Danielle, Shane, Ashley, Jenn, Ian, Dan, and Boogie. Yes, Wil and Joe are nominated! Frank says he nominated Joe because he voted against him against Janelle, and Wil's nomination is due to a "big ol' fib" he told him the previous week.

Wil says that everybody in the house has lied, and he's a "not classy hypocrite", and Frank says that Wil is the one who will be going home this week. Dan claims to be surprised that he wasn't nominated, as you really can't trust Boogie. "He's done a lot of diabolical things in this game." Joe screams that he's not done, as "revenge is a dish that's best served cold!" Ugh make it stop.

That's it, strikers and non-strikers! What did you think of tonight's show? Way too much filler for you, too? Give us your thoughts!

Thursday
Aug092012

Big Brother #14, Episode 13 Recap

Willie May stumbling in the outfield during the 1973 World Series. Brett Favre hobbling off the Metrodome turf after his millionth interception. The surviving Beatles adding computer-enhanced vocals to John Lennon demos. Johnny Unitas being sandwiched by defensive linemen on play after play in a San Diego Chargers uniform. The entire roster of actors that co-star on TV Land “original” shows.

These are just some of the embarrassing codas to otherwise legendary careers, and tonight we say goodbye to another type of superstar. Sure, calling a reality television star a “legend” is kind of silly, but Janelle Pierzina is one of a handful who could make that claim. A blonde, athletic beauty, Janelle’s two earlier appearances were full of must-see TV moments. Ultimately, she lost both times, but her competition prowess and sexy swagger made her the only Big Brother cast member to win two “Favorite House Guest” awards.

She will be leaving us tonight primarily for having lost that touch that endeared her to both viewers and fellow players in her previous season. Her fibs betrayed any appearance of honesty. Emotionally, she was a stiff who spent more time sleeping than she did interacting with others. Most importantly, she failed to sniff the changing crosswinds in the house, and was ultimately outplayed by her most hated rival, Mike “Boogie” Malin. Like everybody listed in that above paragraph, the instincts and reflexes were just not there this season.

Before we get to that moment where thousands of hardcore fans smash their televisions and leap off their balcony, we have lots of silliness to plow through. Yes, it is reaction time. How did Janelle and the rest of the house feel about the shocking move to replace Wil’s nomination with Janelle?

Like always, it depends on who is doing the talking. Janelle is shocked, especially since “she is not even on my radar, and now she definitely is”. She’s going to do what she needs to do to say. Britney notes that unlike usual veto meetings, everybody is kind of frozen in “shock and horror…but the truth of the matter is, nobody is truly shocked except for Janelle”.

Wil screams in celebration while in the diary room, and promises to bake a cherry pie in celebration. Britney, though, rushes into the bedroom where Janelle is reading the Bible (lol) to pretend like she has no clue this was going to happen. At the same time, Boogie asks the camera if he can take a bow. “Danielle thinks she’s the head of household this week, but basically I just took over her HOH and got everybody to do what I wanted.”

Danielle is now in the HOH, and Janelle rushes in to ask why she was put up. Danielle claims that “everybody” has been telling her that Janelle is after her, and is lying to her. “I’ve never said to anybody in this house that I’m coming after her.” Janelle knows that people have been feeding lies to her, as “she could never come up with this on her own”. She immediately blames Dan, but Danielle claims she hasn’t talked to him all day, and that she’ll probably survive the week anyway.

Dan now joins Danielle in the HOH, and yells in the diary room that she has graduated from the Dan School of Big Brother. Oh please. She recounts the conversation with Janelle. Well, she sort of tells him, exaggerating just a little bit.

Dan now pulls Janelle into the storage room, and claims that he has no idea what caused her nomination. It’s just a girl thing, he says, and he probably won’t be able to vote to save her because it would piss her off. Janelle thinks that she only needs two more votes, and Dan says any coach is screwed if they’re put up.

Boogie interrupts the conversation by coming in for some milk, and takes his time before leaving. Janelle repeats her complaint that she didn’t even put on makeup because she had no clue this was coming in, and after leaving the storage room she says she’s confident she can get the votes.

She heads into the lounge with Wil and Joe, who both claim that they’ll be voting for her. She also tells Jenn that she wouldn’t target her if she stays, and also whines to Ashley that she hopes she wouldn’t vote her out.

Now that she believes she has the votes, she pulls Britney into the lounge to verify that she has her vote. She runs down all the votes she has, and Britney replies that she believes there may be some things happening that she’s not aware of. Janelle adds that the coaches “need to stick together, or we’ll have no shot”. Britney says in the diary room that not only is Janelle making her feel bad, but she’s “making some really good sense. She’s not coming after me. She’s not coming after the coaches. Why am I voting out someone who is an ally and an asset to me in this game?”

Britney races to the HOH, and cries that she can’t “keep up this charade any longer. I feel like a bad, bad person.” Dan, Shane, and Danielle don’t seem to really care for what she has to say, even when she asks why they’re voting her out. “When she doesn’t need you, she avoids you and treats you like crap”, replies Danielle in between bites of Cheez-its.

After commercials, it is time for the dreaded house interview. As predicted on last week’s Big Brother Gossip Show, the first question goes to Frank’s “spiritard”. He’s even made to give a cheer. Gag me now. Boogie is then asked about how he wasn’t happy with the game reset, but he says he’s feeling better about it now. “I did a little work this week, and I think I’m feeling better about it.”

Wait, a question to Jenn??? Wow, shocker! She’s asked about competing with the coaches, and she says she’s “just living on a prayer”. She also claims that she believes her chances are better now that she’s on her own. Oh, I’m sure that will be discussed later tonight.

Ugh, and as also predicted on the Big Brother Gossip Show, we have to sit through a montage of Ian as a dog. He says he’s been loving every minute of his time in the house, and “it wouldn’t be the full Big Brother experience without a penalty costume”.

OMG, more filler – the fake romance between Ian and Ashley…complete with their parents. Gross, and CBS should be ashamed for this selective editing. Wait, his mom thinks the house is “scared” of him??? Bwahahahahah!

As they say on BBUK, it’s “crunch time”. Frank gets to make the first plea, and he claims that he’s played the game “like a gentleman”. Mama told him to “keep it classy”, and he says he’s done just that. Ooof, even Julie says that he sounds like Ron Burgendy.

Janelle is up next, and she says she loves “all of you”, and would be willing to help anybody with their game if they keep her. Otherwise, no hard feelings if she does leave tonght.

The live voting then commences with Boogie, who obviously votes to evict Janelle, as does Jenn. Joe, though, votes to evict Frank, but Wil, Ashley, Britney, Shane, kiss-ass Dan, and Ian all vote to evict Janelle. She’s out by a 8-1 vote!

Julie makes her announcement, and Janelle calmly hugs all (saying “it’s just a game”) before heading out the door to a huge cheer! Mickey Mantle has left the building! Julie notes that she kept it classy, and Julie notes that she isn’t nearly as surprises as she was when nominated. She says she’s out because she’s a strong player, which is a compliment. While she is being cool and calm, what is with the little girl voice that she’s using? Julie also asks why she hit the reset when she still had three players in the game, and it’s just because she wanted to play.

Frank is the next topic, and she says that she was “scared of him” because he was such a strong player. It may have hurt her a little in the game, but he was also the focus of others. Janelle is then asked about the fateful coach’s meeting n the HOH, and she says she “didn’t want to throw Wil or Joe under the bus”. This leads into her rivalry with Boogie, but while he got her this time the “target is too big on him to win the game this time. I’m rooting for Dan. I love Dan.”

The goodbye messages then roll, and Dan explains how her unwilling to sacrifice her teammates is what cost her. Britney whines about how she feels bad about being a part of the plan, and Joe does his customary nonsensical screaming. He promises to avenge her eviction. Boogie brags that she shouldn’t blame the others – “this one was all me. So for the third time, always the bridesmaid but never the Big Brother bride.” Janelle’s response? “He’s such a loser. What a douchebag. Screw you, Mike Boogie.”

Ok, it’s now HOH competition time, and it’s a “knockout” type question game called “Big Brother Battle of the Bands”. Hmmm, this would be a perfect title for a game that Jenn wins. A song is played, and then the players choose whether the song describes a HOH, Coach, or Veto competition. A right answer means you remain for the next round; the wrong answer means the other player remains.

The game starts with Wil versus Jenn, and they’re both confused before Wil correctly answers that it was a HOH song. He chooses Boogie versus Joe in the next round, and Boogie correctly chooses a veto song. He then picks Wil versus Ashley, who almost flashes us. Ashley is first this time, and she is right on with her HOH guess.

Ashley is completely confused about what she has to do next, and finally picks Britney and Shane for the next round. Britney is the first to ring in, and she is also right on with her coach choice. Ash and Ian are now up, and Ian correctly picks Coach. He then picks Dan and Britney, and this time Britney is right with HOH. Frank and Boogie then face each other, and Boogie immediately hits veto before the song even starts. He’s obviously wrong, and Ian and Britney now have to face each other.

They both leap at the button at the same time, but Britney is just a split second early with the correct veto pick. It’s now Frank versus Britney for the HOH victory, and Frank picks veto. Yes, he is right…and Frank is the new HOH!!!

There is one final segment in the show, with Julie talking to Frank. It’s a pretty worthless couple of minutes, and that’s it for this episode. What did you think of tonight’s show? Are you sad to see Janelle hit the road? Give us your thoughts!

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