Finally, our long summer nightmare is coming to an end. After 36 episodes, 90 days, and dozens of head-scratching moves and comments, we’re down to three people of questionable taste and talents. There’s “Pop-In” Andy, whose main talent was to somehow interrupt every single conversation every house mate had this season. There’s butterscotch booty-loving Spencer, a terminal pawn that could never find a competition he wasn’t a complete failure. Finally, there’s GinaMarie, a brash imbecile who apparently utilizes a unique form of insurance and is obsessed with a manchild who is unlikely to ever give her the time of day again (unless she wins).
Yep, this is not the best trio of finalists we’ve ever had. To be fair, though, they all did what was necessary to make it to the end, and that’s all that counts. Andy was a master at playing both sides as long as possible. Spencer had just enough of a social game that he was never considered a real threat. And GinaMarie...ok, I can’t quite figure out how she made it this far.
Despite all the hand wringing on social media about these folks, and the season as a whole, I’m going to be a bit shocking and say that I’ve enjoyed this season more than the last few. There’s been plenty of action, both good and bad. There’s been game changing moves. Most importantly, there hasn’t been quite as much production interference. There weren’t veterans put in with twists designed to keep them as long as possible. Pandoras, DPOV’s, and other bogus tricks weren’t utilised to ensure certain outcomes. Outside of one gimmick plant, this was a pretty pure season.
Of course, a good portion of you readers won’t allow me to get away without addressing the main criticism of the year. Yes, too many people said too many dumb things that offended everybody. It’s also happened in previous seasons, though, and around 8 PM Big Brother time each and every one of these offenders will begin to see the ramifications of their words. They’ll discover the lost jobs, the online backlash, and embarrassed friends and family members. If this major issue isn’t (properly) addressed tonight, as I don’t think it will, just keep in mind that the real world won’t let them forget.
So here we go with tonight’s finale. To be honest, I’m not going to be nearly as thorough as I have been throughout the season. There will be no need to recreate entire conversations, or every jury/Julie question, so quotes will be kept to a minimum.
After a long, long intro recapping the entire season, we go right to the first HOH competition. Funny thing is that this roller skating comp lasted just a tad longer than that intro. Why didn’t they show this on Sunday’s recap show? They are hanging onto a bar while skating, and there’s obstacles, smoke, bubbles and other garbage. Of course, all of this silliness brings on the clown music. All you really need to know is that Spencer went down almost immediately, and Andy struggled for a few more minutes before falling. Yep, GinaMarie won part one, and celebrates in a pile of glitter! Worst “endurance” comp ever...although there’s a semi-comic moment when GinaMarie “chokes” on glitter!
Part two then features Andy versus Spencer, and it’s an underwater treasure hunt...without the water. Andy makes a Little Mermaid joke (groan) before he describes how they have to find crabs of all the evicted houseguests and then put them in order. Oh, and they have to place them at the top of a rock climbing wall. Guess who will win this one? The fastest time is the winner.
Andy goes first, and we get all of the stupid “stakes have never been higher” silliness as we see him working his way up and down the platform. Andy has trouble finding Candice’s crab, and then after finding it he discovers he has a mistake in the order. He climbs back up and fixes it, and he’s done!
It’s now Spencer’s turn, and he repeats the speech about how important this competition is for his game. Yep, we get it! Spencer is quickly struggling with the wall, as expected, and keeps falling. He’s getting frustrated, and the inspirational music comes up as he thinks about his family and friends back home. Ugh. He gets a second wind, and finally finishes.
The times are then announced, and Andy was finished in 21:54. Spencer’s time was 36:11. Andy wins round two, and will be up against GinaMarie later in the show for that final HOH spot!
Spencer’s plan is to now make both of them feel comfortable with him, which, honestly, is what they’re all doing now. GinaMarie thinks she would take Andy, and starts crying because she doesn’t believe she’d beat him.
We move on to jury time, and Dr. Will surprises them. Yes, Helen jumps up and down in excitement (as expected). He asks who they think will be joining them, and after a couple of people say they want it to be Andy, Elissa babbles about how McCrae deserves to be there because he screwed up his game.
McCrae is then brought in, and he not explains what happened...and apologizes to Elissa. Will then asks about how they’ve all got along in the jury house, and it’s Amanda versus Elissa and Candice. Yep, we get another stupid “Candyland” mention. Surprisingly, Candice and Aaryn reportedly got along in the house.
WIll brings it back to game talk, as they begin talking about GinaMarie’s supposedly big moves. “The girl has guts”, says Elissa. Not shocking, but Amanda doesn’t agree. Candice then brings up the personal aspects of the game, and how wrong that was. Now I’m getting bored as they move on to talking about Andy. The only surprising comment is that McCrae admits that he would not have taken Amanda to the final two. The Spencer chat isn’t much better, although I’m a bit surprised that Helen stands up for his gameplay. Will finally ends the segment by encouraging them to vote on who they think deserves to win.
After a few adverts...ok, quite a few, it’s time for that final HOH competition. It’s the usual format, where statements from jury members are read. Two possible endings are read, and they have to pick which one is correct. The first question is about Candice, and the most “shocking moment”. They both pick the bed flipping incident, and they’re both correct.
Jessie’s quote is next, and it’s her most “irritating moment”, and they both pick when she didn’t get to come back in the game. They’re both wrong on this one. Question three belongs to Helen, and her most “uncomfortable moment”. Judd pleading for his life was A, while wine-gate is B. A was correct, and Andy gets the point.
The fourth question belongs to Aaryn, and it’s who she would spend a romantic night with - Judd or David. They both pick Judd, and they’re correct “because he has manners”. Question five goes to Amanda, and it’s the moment she doesn’t want friends or family to see. Answer A is none, because that’s who she is, while B is every single one. GinaMarie picks A, while Andy picks B. The correct answer B, so Andy is now up by two, with two to go.
Question six is Elissa’s, and it’s which house guest she is most shocked by, and Andy picks Amanda, while GinaMarie picks Aaryn. Oooh, GinaMarie gets this one correct. It’s now 4-3, as we got to question seven. Judd’s biggest regret is the next question, and they both are wrong.
It’s now time for the last question, and GinaMarie has to get this correct. McCrae is asked about the best thing in the house, and they both pick “free food”. Andy is the new, and final HOH!
A few more adverts later, it’s time for Andy to pick who is going to the final two with him. He tells Spencer that his word means everything, and he’s had an agreement with GinaMarie since night one. Spencer is then evicted, and walks out to talk to Julie.
She starts the questions by asking if his loyalty to GInaMarie shocks him, and he says no as we continue to hear GinaMarie’s mic. Spencer says he has no “hard feelings” over being evicted, and claims to sort of know it was coming as Andy was avoiding him the last couple of days. He’s then asked about being a record-setting pawn, and the segment is already over! He concludes by saying that he’s proud to be a part of his favorite show.
Of course, there are more commercials before the jury is brought on the stage. Julie asks who Helen think is the final jury members, and she thinks that the smartest move would be Andy, as he’ll have the most votes. Spencer is then introduced, and Julie informs the rest of the jury what happened.
We move right to the jury questions, and Amanda goes first. She says GinaMarie did little before joining the Exterminators, and asks her what big moves she did, outside of getting her out. GinaMarie responds with nonsense for awhile, before saying it was getting her out. Ooops. GinaMarie doesn’t back down, though, as it was her decision to do before the Exterminators. Ok then.
The next question is from Elissa, and it’s the same question. His answer is that his biggest move was aligning with Amanda and McCrae, and how nobody knew how close they were. He says he kept going back to them with the info on what was happening. Oh, and also convincing her to put up Nick.
Helen goes next, and asks GinaMarie what her biggest obstacle to overcome was. Yep, we get the “play with my heart” silliness, and then says that Nick’s departure was her biggest obstacle. Somehow, though, it made her a bigger person.
McCrae then asks about how jury members are bitter when they’re stabbed in the back. Since he stabbed them all in the back, why should anybody vote for him? He responds that he feels terrible, and that he “said that to cover his own ass”. He deserves to win this, and that he was instrumental in every eviction. He’s sorry, and “loves them all so very much”.
Oh boy, here we go. Candice gets to ask GinaMarie a question, and she doesn’t hold back. She points out how she’s offended everybody on the jury, especially with her “cock-a-roaches” comments. “Why should we give you the money?” GinaMarie responds with more Nick talk, and then says that the money would change her and her family’s life. Yep, she throws in a heart comment, and how positive she always is. She’s ridiculous.
Jessie then asks Andy why he “unnecessarily” lied to so many jurors. He repeats how he loves them all, and he apologizes again (oooh, this plays right to Helen). They’re both just repeating themselves at this point.
The questioning ends with Spencer, and he asks Andy why he should give him the money. Here we go again. Andy says he was “loyal to a fault”, and then says that on night one he made his promise to her. It’s proof that he’s so loyal.
Before the voting, we get final pleas. GinaMarie tells the jury they all look beautiful, and says she’s played loyal from the beginning. She claims that she made a connection with all of them, and she’s happy she’s met them all. Please, somebody stop her!
Andy goes next, and he says he played with both his heart and mind. He meant all of his personal connections, but he played primarily with his mind. He made moves, and adapted to everything that happened in the house. “Everywhere I went in this house, people went home because of me.”
Julie finally shuts them up, and the voting begins. They all give the usual comments as they place their keys about voting for the best player, blah blah blah. Judd does exclaim, “let the best exterminator win!” McCrae adds that he hopes whoever wins “is buying drinks tonight”.
Before the votes are read, though, we get a brief segment with the pre-jury evictees. Before going to them, she flips over to Amanda and her obsession with knowing about the status of MVP. She says she now believes it was America, and Julie explains how it worked. “Thank you, America”, Amanda says sarcastically. She adds that when she got booed on eviction night, she now understood how she was nominated.
Julie then goes over to Howard, and what he was seeing on the feeds after he was evicted. Howard says that he was shocked, and that he was infuriated by the racial and personal things that was said during the season. Julie informs them that various things they’ve said made national headlines, and asks Spencer his response. He says that he hates that stuff, and asks if he said anything. “We don’t have enough time”, she replies.
Jeremy is then asked what surprised him the most, and he says it was Helen’s use of the “mom thing”. Helen then claims that her tears were real, but eventually admits that some were fake. All I can say is “STFU Helen”. (As we go to jury, we hear GinaMarie scream for Nick. Ugh.)
If you haven’t watched, you can probably guess how the votes will go (and if they don’t go the way I’m thinking, this recap is going to look stupid). Here we go. Spencer and McCrae voted for Andy, but Judd voted for GinaMarie. Elissa voted for Andy, as does Andy. Aaryn voted for GianMarie, but Helen voted for Andy to make him the new winner!
The two then rush out to confetti and hugs, and GinaMarie rushes to Nick (obviously). Poor guy. More commercials interrupt the hugfest, and when the show returns Julie announces that the other two votes went to Andy. He won 7-2. Nick is then mentioned again before Julie announces that the top three vote getters for MVP were Judd, Elissa, and Howard. The winner, as expected, is Elissa, who started screaming before Julie even read her name. Of course she did. Gross.
So that’s it for the show...and the season. Thank you all for putting up with me, Ash, Target John, Indy Mike, and East Side Dave this year. A special thanks also to Colette Lala for her work on the Big Brother Gossip Show, and please read her excellent Survivor updates at colettelala.com. If you like my writing at all, you can continue to follow my music writing at toomanynotes, tumblr.com, or my internet radio shows at scotthudson.blogspot.com.
But we still want to hear from you. What did you think of this episode? Do you agree with Andy’s victory? How about Elissa’s MVP? Tell us what you think!!!