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Sunday
Jul142013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 8 Recap

Strap in, kids. Tonight’s going to be a wild ride. If you have watched any of the feeds since Thursday night, or listened to last night’s Big Brother Gossip Show (and if you haven’t, why?), then you know wild shit went down after the live show was over. There was a bit of an online debate regarding if any of that would be shown, but a source told us a few hours before the broadcast that it would indeed be addressed.

It’s a “good”(?) sign that there’s a disclaimer before the show even begins. After the recap of events, we go back to Nick’s eviction. GinaMarie is a mess. “My heart is in pieces.” Oh lord, this is pathetic. Jeremy says he was “flabbergasted beyond belief...we have some goobers in the group”. Aaryn now realizes she’s part of the “minority of the house”. We all know being a minority is her worst dream.

Helen, meanwhile, is celebrating because “her” plan came through. I’m putting in the parenthesis because it wasn’t due to Helen’s work that Elissa was saved. It was Amanda that turned the boys.

We get more footage of GinaMarie bawling as Nick walks out, and Elissa looks at the camera to say she loves America. Jeremy is seen mouthing, “what the fuck”, as Amanda winks at McCrae. GinaMarie runs into the bathroom,, and Aaryn says she has to get herself together for the HOH competition.

Kaitlin, meanwhile, is already yelling at Jessie, who denies voting against their side. GinaMarie comes back out and starts yelling about Elissa’s MVP wins. “All of you’s are so stupid! Cook your own damn chicken parm!” It goes on and on, as Amanda laughs in another room. “You guys are scrubs! You guys are losers!” Amanda is dying.

McCrae then tells us about how he had to choose between the Movers and Amanda. I mae my choice. GinaMarie is still screaming, and Spencer talks about how Jeremy is the one who is making it hard for the Movers to stay together. Instead of giving credit to Amanda for switching sides, he says it was due to Helen’s “emotional pitch”. Ugh. We get a recap of what supposedly happened, instead of what actually happened. Howard claims that he didn’t change votes because he wanted some “wiggle room”.

We then jump to Helen’s HOH victory. She does her wacky little dance, and then tells America’s children to “study”. Ugh. While she’s celebrating, the other side is beyond upset. Jeremy says it’s “not over yet. I’m going to hold my chin high as it’s too pretty to hold it low.” Gross.

Helen,, Elissa, and Candice celebrate their win. Amanda and Jessie also come in, and Helen again does her dumb dance as Elissa says they’re going to change the attitude in the house. Jeremy comes in and congratulates her on her victory. “I am flabbergasted by your game play.” Really?

Aaryn and Kaitlyn go into the lounge to do what they do best...whine. Again, they complain about being the “minority”. GinaMarie then comes in with Nick’s hat and shorts. “I really liked him. I really liked him. We were getting closer.” She’s just nuts. She even blows her nose into the shorts in the diary room.

Jump ahead a few hours, and Aaryn, Kaitlin, and Jeremy are reclaiming the beds they want. too bad one of them is the one that Jessie has been sleeping in her entire stay. They go full “mean girls” on her, and complain about her changing loyalties. Jessie counters that they’ve never had her back, and Kaitlin commands her to “get the fuck out of here”. Judd comes in, and pulls her out of the room. “Judd can be your fifth chance at a showmance.”

The catty comments contniue, and then suddenly Aaryn tears apart Candice’s bed as Kaitlin laughs. We go to commercials...

When we return, Jessie comes back in and climbs into her bed. Kaitlin decides to also get into her bed, and Jessie asks her to leave. Candice then comes in, and wonders what the story is with her bed. Kaitlin plays dead. Jeremy then comes in, and climbs into Jessie’s bed. Jeremy and Kaitlin continue to harass her, and Candice jumps in.

Aaryn then walks into the room, and Candice complains about her bed being flipped. Aaryn then goes into full stereotype “what’cha gonna do, guuuurl?” mode. Howard walks in, and Candice informs him what happened as Aaryn goes into that type of talking again. Howard tries to get Candice to leave the room as now GinaMarie gets into Candice’s face. Finally, Howard lifts her over his shoulders and carries her out of the room as the mean kids laugh.

Howard pleads with Candice to let them have the bed for the night, as he can’t control his temper if this continues. Candice complains about all of the racial slurs she’s had to endure these past three weeks, and Howard embraces her. Howard understands how she wants to stand up for what is right, but one can’t do that in this game. Seriously, you should go watch this on Flashback, as it is a tear jerker. Even this curmudgeon had to wipe a tear or two away when he first saw this go down. Candice finally leaves the room, and Howard sits down and prays with tears in his eyes.

Meanwhile, the mean girls are still yelling at Jessie, and Amanda overhears it. She’s had enough. This is another great moment, as she bitches at them for their cattiness. Not only to the rest of the house, but each other. “That’s why she came over to the other side. It all makes sense!” She goes on about how everybody is talking about Aaryn’s racial comments, and Aaryn denies making any of them. “I tried to help you.” She ends it by saying she’s going to go have fun with the other side of the house. Again, go watch this on Flashback. It was amazing.

Candice is now in the bathroom crying. She says she has never seen anybody as awful as Aaryn, and she tells the whole story of what happened to Helen, ANdy, and Elissa. Helen has had enough, and she says that anybody who has ever been a victim of abuse is cheering for her right now. “We’re going to vote them out.”

After commercials, Amanda and McCrae are laying in the lounge together, and McCrae says he has a secret to tell her. He then tells her all about The Moving Company. He’s hoping this creates a bigger bond between the two as he informs her of the whole story. Amanda says at first she thinks good job as it even fooled her. He goes on to say about how they told him he needs to drop her, but no way was he going to drop his queen.

Meanwhile, GinaMarie is still crying over Nick, and Aaryn and Candice try to cheer her up. Candice says she can’t help “as a woman” to not console her. Aaryn then apologizes. Sort of. She says she has “nothing against any other race”, and claims in the diary room that she is not that type of girl. Of course, she also doesn’t Candice to use it against her. Candice says she accepts her apology, but in the diary room says she doesn’t believe her. “To me, her apology is like dirt.”

It’s Have-Not competition time, and it’s a barnyard setup. After the seriousness of the last half hour, I could give a shit about this, except for the fact that Howard wants to throw it so that Aaryn, GinaMarie, and Kaitlin are have-nots for the week. Let’s jump to the conclusion - the Have-nots this week are Amanda, McCrae, Judd, and Jessie. Somehow, GinaMarie concludes that this is retribution for Nick’s departure.

Jeremy now runs upstairs to confess all to Helen. I just don’t get why it’s so important for everybody to know about The Moving company. Helen is all cocky because she “killed the Moving Company”. No, you didn’t. Jeremy also throws Kaitlin under the bus, and he says he “didn’t come in here to make a wife”. Helen loves this, and “maybe I can use Jeremy in this game”.

We’re showing way too much of this “kiss the ring” stuff, as Howard now comes in. Unlike Jeremy, though, he doesn’t follow through in telling all. He lies about the Movers. He lies about his vote. He finally admits that he voted to evict Elissa, and Helen starts crying. He still lies about the Movers, and Helen is disappointed.

It’s finally nomination time, and Elissa’s key is first, followed by Andy, Candice, McCrae, Amanda, GinaMarie, Judd, Jessie, Howard, Spencer, and Jeremy. Aaryn and Kaitlin are the nominees. Helen gives a bullshit speech about how they are strong competitors and they can save themselves in the veto competition. Ho hum.

Little of substance is said in the final seconds of the show. They hate being on the block. Jeremy didn’t come here to get married. Helen wants Aaryn to go home, but she has bigger targets. “Watch out. Here comes Helen.”

What did you think of tonight’s episode? Were you happy with how they treated the extreme behavior? How about those noms? Tell us what you think!

 

Wednesday
Jul102013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 6 Recap

A simple intro to what should be a simple (and annoying episode). MVP silliness. Veto comp hosted by a Big Brother alum. A “thrown” performance that wasn’t good enough for the deal maker. Filler. Nominations.

So let’s start with the reactions to Aaryn’s nominations of Elissa and Helen. Guess what, neither are happy! Elissa doesn’t understand how people say she is “making waves”, and complains that it was “vindictive” to nominate Helen because of her. Helen thinks Aaryn is threatened by her friendship with Elissa. For some strange reason, Helen believes they were put up together to create a fight between the two of them. Hmmm, not really.

Helen enters the have-not room with tears in her eyes, followed by Elissa. “How original, right”, says Elissa. They hug, and Elissa goes into the standard Reilly “she’s so mean to me” mantra. Just to make sure you understand the mood of the room, the sad background music comes up as Helen promises to help save Elissa.

Candice joins the pair, and Helen tells her she shouldn’t hang out with the “pariahs of the house”. Again, we get to hear Candice’s (correct) theory about the all-boys alliance. Elissa almost forgot her script, but finally says “please, Brenchel fans, vote for us for MVP”. No worries about that.

In the storage room, the Movers are talking about how all of the women are going crazy. “I can’t wait to send them all home”, says Jeremy. He says that the girls are going to go home “one by one by one”. Yeah, right.

Helen is now upstairs playing chess with Howard, and after Kaitlin walks out of the HOH, she asks if he would mind if she talked to Aaryn. Helen still wants to work with Aaryn, who says it was hard to put her up. The music builds up as they continue to talk about secretly being an alliance, and Helen even says that putting her up was a smart move.

Ugh, here we go with the MVP bullshit...and yes, it was indeed Elissa. Yeah, act surprised, you dumb twit. “Like, how?” Really? In case you forgot how MVP works, she reads the exact same card from last week. “America, thank you so much...I’m doing this for you.” Ugh.

Elissa heads into the Have-not room to tell Helen, who does the weirdest little dance I’ve ever seen. They decide not to tell anybody, and Elissa says that Jeremy is her ultimate target. Helen is thinking ahead, though, and wants to know who would be the replacements? “Kaitlin.” But if...oh god, Helen, you’re thinking way beyond Elissa’s line of thinking. So now the question is whether they immediately put up Jeremy, or wait to do a backdoor. Ultimately, they go with Jeremy after all.

Filler time, as GinaMarie flirts with Nick. Poor Nick, even though he plays it well in the diary room. He’s not interested in Jessie. He’s not interested in GinaMarie. That doesn’t stop CBS from pushing it, though.

We’re spared from more of this ugliness, as it is time to pick POV players. First off, there’s the MVP nomination, and after a long buildup it is indeed Jeremy. Aaryn pulls out Amanda and Nick’s names. Nick is happy to be a part of it, and hopes to be able to save his “homeboy” Jeremy. GinaMarie will host, and she couldn’t be happier.

Elissa admits she’s a bit concerned over her choice as Jeremy, as he’s pretty fired up. To make sure we know just how focused he is, he puts on a show in the diary room on how he is such a “manimal”.

Arryn, meanwhile, heads upstairs. The girls all make fun of Elissa’s choice, as Jeremy is going to kick her ass. “This is the worst move she could possibly make”, says Kaitlin.

GinaMarie is asking Nick if it is smart for him to try to win this comp, and he thinks it is. They’re interrupted by Elissa, who is worried because “Nick is a fierce competitor”. She proposes a two week deal with Nick, and if he doesn’t throw it she will put him up as a replacement. He says that this is a win/win for him, as if he loses he won’t go up but a win also ensures he won’t go up. They shake on the deal.

Ugh, even more Elissa time. Her and Helen are crying about missing their kids, and Howard comes in to cheer them up. He leads them in a prayer. Please find me my bucket to puke in. This leads to a medley of Howard praying. Great for him, but a bore for viewers. Move on!

It’s now veto competition time, and GinaMarie is dressed as a baby. Yes, I typed that correctly. GinaMarie is dressed as a baby. Fitting, right. She introduces a video message from Britney. She shows her pregnant belly, and she tells them to head outside for the cmopetition.

The backyard is dressed up as a baby nursery, and they have to create a “giant baby mobile”. The first one to perfectly balance ten stuffed animals wins the veto.

After a bunch of cutesy diary room comments, the contest begins. This isn’t exactly exciting. Nick again explains his idea is to actually try to win, and...that’s enough. Why we need everybody involved to tell us how this works is beyond me.

For a second it looked like Amanda was going to win, but one of the animals was touching the ground. She makes an adjustment, and it still didn’t work. “Much like a baby, I need a bottle...of vodka”. She’s really getting a good edit.

Jeremy then tells us how he figured out how to win this comp, and he starts moving faster. Helen, though, is close to him, but Jeremy suddenly sprints to the win! Ugh, he is really the worst winner ever. Helen knows that somehow they need to come up with a bigger threat than the two of them. Well, a bigger threat than Elissa. Nobody thinks Helen is a threat.

After commercials, we get some filler of Jeremy and Kaitlin making out. They quit kissing, though, as Kaitlin is worried that she may be going the same route as David did last week. Yeah, the porn music comes up as they keep kissing. Oh wait, she’s upset again. Oh wait, they’re kissing again. Ok, enough.

Once the making out is over, Jeremy heads down to chat with the Movers to make sure that Elissa is the one that goes home this week. He tells Jeremy that if somehow Elissa doesn’t go, that means that a Mover made a wrong vote. Nick is not happy with this. “We’re a business.”

Jeremy moves on to the other Movers with the same story, and none of them are happy about this. “God is the only boss I listen to”, complains Howard. “Who died and made you boss”, asks McCrae. They’re all becoming a bit suspicious of Jeremy.

We move on to Elissa, who is talking to Candice. Like before, Candice wants to get rid of the guys, and complains that girls never make big moves in the house. There’s no way that a girl can be put on the block to replace Jeremy. Candice wants Nick put up, and that he’s working with Jeremy.

Elissa is conflicted, though. She promised to not put him up, and doesn’t want to go against her word. Candice moves on with the reasons why Nick has to go, and Elissa is shown nodding her head in approval.

Before we get to the veto ceremony, Elissa is seen going up to Nick and asking if he’d vote to evict Kaitlin. He gives an unintelligible answer, and says he’s not in “gameface right now”. She says that if he can’t answer, she may have to break their deal. He wants some time to think about it. Yep, she has her way out of their deal. In her mind, at least. (Especially since they didn’t show the conversation where Nick did try to work with her.)

It’s NOW finally veto meeting, and they still have Jeremy stare at the wall of keys. Why? We know he’s saving himself. Oh yeah, we have to have the commentary from those on the block, or possibly going on the block.

Everybody is called in, and Jeremy indeed saves himself. Elissa gets up, and after many, many seconds of buildup, has nominated Nick. GinaMarie is about to die! The Movers aren’t happy either!

So that’s it, after blah blah blah I want to win blah blah blah the game’s not over blah blah blah Momsquad. Wait, Momsquad??? Ugh.

Your thoughts on this episode? Did Elissa break her word? Were you happy to see Britney back? How bad does Elissa read her script? Tell us your thoughts!

 

Sunday
Jul072013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 5 Recap

When we left CBS on Wednesday night, the Big Brother 15 cast were in the middle of a HOH competition that had everybody paired off. Cups of barbecue sauce were to be transferred from one person to another, and the first person to pull out the little golf ball was the winner.

Obviously, those of us who have the feeds know the results of this contest, but we’re still missing some details. Was it a clean victory? Was there cheating, and were the offenders punished? Most importantly, who was going to end up feeling they were in danger?

We begin with Julie’s instructions to the house, and we get to actually hear them this time! In fact, we get the rules twice as they have Nick repeat them. Wait, we get a third version of them. There’s lots of slips and falls, complete with quirky background music.

It’s then time for the players to say why they have to win, and for some godawful reason we begin with Elissa’s Hollywood stoner drawl. “I need to win this more than birds need their feather.” Really? That’s the best your family’s script writers can come up with?

Aaryn then whines about how she needs to win to avenge David, and we go back to that shocking moment when he left the house. GinaMarie, Jessie, and Aaryn freak out when the news is read. Aaryn has a few fake tears as she says how terrible she felt.

We can’t go more than a few seconds without Elissa, so we get to hear her thank America again and complain about how she’s had a “target on my back”. Spencer is also happy. Aaryn is then seen kissing David, and saying she did not vote to evict him.

Once he’s gone, GinaMarie is freaking out, and Nick comforts her. She has some babbling in the diary room about “plans falling to pizzas”, but who knows what she was talking about.

We then return to the competition, and Jeremy and Aaryn are currently in the lead. There’s no real reason to keep recapping everything these freak shows say as they continue to play.

Judd does grab the ball from the small jar, so they now get a bigger scoop. Howard does the same, but they’re still way behind Jeremy and Aaryn. In fact, Elissa and Andy are right behind them. Andy attempts to pull out the ball, but...we go to commericals.

It is super close, and Elissa claims they “feel victory in their fingertips”. Andy just can’t quite reach it, though, and Jeremy eventually pulls it out for the victory. Yes, they’re both happy, and they “did it for David”. It is, though, Elissa’s “worst nightmare come true”. She’s getting better at reading her lines.

Jeremy and Aaryn then have to decide which of them is the actual HOH, and Spencer is hoping he makes the right move for the Moving Company. He doesn’t. He lets Aaryn have the glory, and we get frowns from the rest of the team. Hey, as he even says, “I get to play next week”.

Aaryn then has to pick the Have-Nots for the week, and she asks who voted to evict David. This gets a bit tense, and for some reason Nick acts all cocky about it in the diary room. She eventually puts up Elissa, Helen, Candice, and David, which causes Elissa to complain. “How can you do that to Helen? That’s not a nice thing to do to anyone two weeks in a row. Aaryn is definitely not a nice girl.”

It’s now all tense in the bathroom as they attempt to figure out who evicted David. Aaryn says the “HOH is dedicated to what was done wrong to David”. She doesn’t think she can trust anybody. She claims it would have been different if they had come to her and told her. Spencer jumps on the defensive and says he didn’t vote against David, and tries to toss the blame at Candice. She is adamant about it. We get a replay on how Spencer played Candice before the votes by telling her to vote against Elissa.

We move to the Have-not room, and Helen is on the floor crying that she wants America to vote her for MVP this week. “One of us”, replies Elissa. Knowingly, I must add. We get the sad music as they complain about Aaryn some more. “There must be some redemption in this”, says Helen.

For some strange reason, David wants to talk to Aaryn. He says he’s going to be truthful with her, but actually “lie lie lie”. More sad music; more wasted time in the show...especially after Andy’s attempt at a pun.

Speaking of wasted time, it’s the “who wants to see my HOH room?” segment. No recap of this bullshit cliched segment.

Now we are back to the vote controversy. THey have concluded it’s between Candice, Spencer, and Howard. I just don’t care anymore. Jeremy wants to nominate Elissa and Helen, and Jessie says that there is no way Elissa came up with the plan that saved her by herself. Jeremy, meanwhile, is thriving on the fact that this is actually his own HOH. Ok, one one funny part to end this segment. She warns Nick that if he is the one behind everything, she’s going to cut off his dick in his sleep. And I believe she would.

Time for more wasted segments, as we see the unveiling of the viewer’s choice Have-Not food. Andy, though, love the extra tv time as he complains about the liver and lima beans. #shrugs#

Wait a second. Why are McCrae and Amanda in the HOH with Andy, Judd, and Howard? Oh, I see. It is time for CBS to save face. They all start bitching about Aaryn, and Amanda brings up her derogatory and racist comments. Howard talks about it in the diary room, and we get some of the footage that both Aaryn and GinaMarie said. “Even when these comments are made in fun”, says Howard, “they still hurt and are disrespectful. Especially when that person isn’t there to hear it and back themselves up.” We get a few more of these remarks, and Howard says it is possible that it could lead him to lose his temper. Amanda then continues on about the topic, and how her comments are going to hurt her in and out of the house.

But we are back to the vote controversy, and Candice is talking to Helen about it. They go over the votes, and Candice figures out that Nick and Jeremy have something together. She is using her “super duper trooper skills” to figure it out. They now conclude that maybe Spencer is also working with them. “Nick is the one to watch”, says Candice. “I wonder if it is a boy’s supergroup.” Hey, even Howard may be in it! Or McCrae! “There’s something that we’re missing.”

Time for even more filler, as Jessie is upset that Nick is “scared” of her. She explains that she’s upset that everybody else (supposedly) has a love interest in the house, so she decides to bother Nick all day long. BTW, this is also way out of context as it was from last Monday. Besides that, it is boring and pathetic.

Now Helen and Aaryn have a conversation, with the idea that Helen wants to be an asset to Aaryn. While she doesn’t really care that much for what she has to say, it is a possibility that Helen could help her in the long run.

Jeremy is sitting outside with the Moving Company. He says that Elissa has to go, but who should go up with her? His idea is Helen, but Spencer brings up Amanda’s name as she “goes around and talks to everybody”. Spencer says in the diary room that he would much rather have Amanda go this week than Elissa. “If Amanda is out, Howard and I can run everything.” Wait, what?

Jeremy heads up to the diary room to inform Aaryn what the Moving Company said to him. He tells her that Amanda was the mastermind of David’s departure, so the idea is to put her up with Elissa. We’re led to believe that Aaryn is actually falling for this lie.

After a long, primarily boring half hour, it is now time for Aaryn to do almost exactly what Jeremy wants. I’m actually surprised that Aaryn can read the HOH script, and she goes through all the silliness that we have to endure before the actual nominations...as do the possible nominees and other influential house guests.

Jeremy’s key is pulled first, followed by Kaitlin, Andy, Nick, Judd, McCrae, GinaMarie, Spencer, Jessie, Amanda, Howard, and Candice. Yes, that means Helen and Elissa are nominated. Aaryn says that Elissa makes “a lot of unnecessary waves in the house” and was the “root of David going home”. Helen, though, is on the block by association.

As always, we end with the usual diary room statements by all of three of these loons, and a few more. So what did you think of tonight’s episode? Was it as full of filler as I believe? Are you as tired of Andy as I am? Tell us what you think!

 

Wednesday
Jul032013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 4 Recap

I’m settled into my couch ready for the first eviction of the year. Will it be the boy-crazy Jessie? The no-nothing surfer dude, David? Or the whiney, living-on-the-coattails sister of Big Brother “royalty”, Elissa?

More importantly, will CBS make mention of the various controversies surrounding the show? At this point, with TMZ even weighing in, won’t they look like fools if they don’t?

So let’s start with the phoniness surrounding Elissa replacing Candice on the block. Remember, McCrae ended last night’s show by saying she was the real target, and CBS-only viewers fell for it hook, line, and sinker. She’s not. He was fulfilling a role for the rest of the house, and, more importantly, the CBS production team. Or was he? (See, I can also play that game.)

Ha, Julie did throw in a sly comment about people showing their “true colors” in her intro. To sum up the post-veto comments, McCrae hopes that Nick can get the votes to save Elissa, David isn’t worried, and Nick is pissed that McCrae put her up. Elissa says that McCrae “betrayyyyyyyyed mah twust”. She says she has to be “a little more open with some of these houseguests”.

We immediately see that, as she admits to a variety of people that she is Rachel’s sister and the MVP. Andy is impressed that she opened up to them, and Amanda agrees. “Maybe she’s human. Maybe.”

Jeremy is sitting outside with his boo, Kaitlin. For some reason, he tears open his shirt, and they have a laugh. Jeremy says “we’re vibing”, and we see them mauling each other. Kaitlin then apologizes to her dad. What a waste of time.

Back to Elissa, who is now again bonding with Judd and Helen. It really is the Elissa show, to my anger. But at least we get some J-U-DOUBLED, and this leads to a discussion that the house needs to save the booze until Judd is no longer a have-not.

This doesn’t work out, as the moron foursome decide to steal the wine about 45 minutes early. When the clock hits midnight, the have-nots, including Judd, are ready to drink. Unfortunately, there is no wine left.

Aaryn is upstairs admitting this to GinaMarie and Nick, while the rest of the house searches for the bottle. Helen is particularly fired up to eat and drink, and Aaryn complains that everybody is so two-faced. Uh, baby, it’s because you stole their wine!

She heads outside to whine some more, and reports that Amanda claims that she’ll put them up if they did steal the wine. That poor little Aaryan girl is sick of those people! She heads back inside with Jeremy, who admits that he was the rude one. “I feel great, and I don’t give a fuck.” He doesn’t want everybody else to yell at Aaryn and the others. What a bore.

He then heads back outside, and they all make fun of them. At the same time, Aaryn is impressed and can’t wait to get rid of “all of these jerks”. Good luck with that, little bitch. Amanda then comes out and yells at Jeremy, who tells her to “be quiet and listen”. For some reason, Helen starts bawling inside as Amanda continues to yell at Jeremy. Seriously, though, this is nothing compared to the other stuff that went on during that day.

After a commercial break, we head back to more house footage. Amanda is shown heading into the HOH, and we see their late-night banter (but not some of the more embarrassing stuff they did). McCrae does admit, though, that he’s scared of the “man eater”, and then the romantic music comes on as they start kissing. McCrae says it’s “pretty sweet” for a pizza boy like him to be with this high-end real estate agent.

Aaryn is now telling David that there is no way that he is going home. Yet, the next scene is a Judd, Amanda, and Spencer talking about how Elissa is going to win MVP every week, so she may be a valuable ally. “We’ll have the third nominee every week, no matter who is HOH.” Even my pal Judd makes some sense in this segment.

Spencer then goes on to Nick about this plan, who then moves on to Jeremy. He’s not so sure about this idea, though, but Nick convinces him it’s a good idea. Spencer keeps making the moves, now telling Howard and McCrae.

We quickly move to Julie addressing the house. The first question goes to Andy about the mood of the house, and he says it’s been “odd”. She then asks Helen about how much the third nominee changes the game. Yeah, you can predict the answer. “Anything’s up for grabs.” Julie then asks Judd about the have-not room, and he says he hates airports. “It’s a pretty shady airport”. We end the segment by asking Candice about being on the block before going off the block, and she gives a nonsensical pageant answer.

It’s already eviction time, but first we have the final pleas. Jessie goes first, and says happy birthday to her father and the usual “I love you guys” babble. Elissa is second, and goes full Rachel about how she’s a huge target. Ugh, she even does the “nothing gets between me and my” bullshit line. David is last, and he says he should be kept because he’s a “stand up guy”. God, he’s an idiot.

It’s now time to vote, and Amanda votes to evict David (to cheers, for some reason). Aaryn is next, and she votes to evict Elissa (to boos). Nick then votes to evict David, but Candice goes for Elissa. I see how this is going. Spencer then votes to evict David, and Kaitlin votes for Elissa. Next up is...commercial.

We return, and the pattern is the same. Helen votes against David, but Howard goes against that pattern (but against the Moving Company) by also voting against David. GinaMarie, though, votes against Elissa, but Judd goes against David. Jeremy votes against Elissa, and Andy against David.
Julie addresses the house, and David is out 7-5. There’s a stunned silence (except for a bleeped out word), but Aaryn is pissed! When we finally get to Julie’s interview, David has even less to say. Literally, nothing to say. Just head offstage, surfer boy! At least Amanda had a great goodbye message, saying his biggest mistake was hooking up with the “biggest bitch in the house”.

It’s now time for the HOH competition, and it’s called “BB-BBQ”. They are in teams, and they have to fill their cup with barbecue sauce. This is transferred to their partner, who then has to dump it in the jug. There are also smaller jugs that, when filled, allows you to grab a bigger cup. Oh yeah, and the floor is slippery.

This is a competition that will go on for quite some time, so stay tuned to the site for further news. Other than that, a big “F-U” to CBS for not dealing with the controversies from earlier this week!

Do you agree? Are you upset with CBS? Are you happy Elissa was saved? Or that silly Jessie didn’t get a single vote? Do you agree it’s bullshit that a MVP can repeat? Tell us what you thinK!

 

Tuesday
Jul022013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 3 Recap

A word of warning before we begin. There’s a great chance that this recap is going to be a bit angrier than usual. There will probably even be a cuss word or two. It may even be cut off before the show is over.

Why, you ask? Because tonight looks to be a nightmare come true for me. One person is going to dominate the proceedings. A person who shouldn’t be in the house, in my opinion. A person whose voice is harder to understand than J-U-Double-D.

I’m sure you know exactly who I’m talking about, and there’s no way that the majority of TV time isn’t devoted to her. At the very least, there will be segments about how the house doesn’t like her, her (not very) shocking MVP win, her participation in the veto competition, and the final veto meeting. That’s not even including the inevitable cameo by her supposedly “legendary” family member.

So here we go, starting off with another endless recap of what we’ve seen already this year. Once finished, the show predictably provides diary room comments concerning the nominations of Candice and Jessie. You know the drill. The nominees are pissed, the HOH is happy, and most of the rest of the house is relieved it’s not them. Ok, it is funny when Candice says she’s not going to cry, and is then shown crying in the diary room.

Elissa is talking to Amanda, and is happy with the nominations as she thought she’d be the first person evicted. Standing just a foot or two away is Candice, who gives her the stink eye. In the diary room she says that she thought she’d be put up because she was Rachel’s sister. “i’m back in this game, and I’m going to win this season of Big Brother.”

In the storage room, Nick and Jeremy celebrate the success of The Moving Company. Nick really doesn’t care who is going home as long as it is not one of them.

Jessie is now in the HOH, and she is freaking out. McCrae tells her to cool out, and assures Jessie that she’s just a pawn. McCrae admits in the diary room that he doesn’t really care if she goes home or not. Candice joins the gathering, and immediately starts laying in to McCrae. “I guess I should have been your fucking shadow or something.” Jessie leaves, and McCrae says he “doesn’t do well with conflict”. He reminds her that there is a third nominee, but Candice is still pissed. She says that it is perceived that he is in an alliance with the other boys, but McCrae denies it. Of course, this means that Candice is definitely going to win veto. “Game on for everybody.” Where is this Candice on the feeds?

We move on to MVP talk. Jeremy is wondering who it may be, and Jessie actually has a coherent thought. She believes it will be Elissa, thanks to her sister. Jeremy doesn’t like this favoritism. Just in case you forgot about the Rachel/Elissa connection, we get yet ANOTHER montage of every house guest predicting that Elissa will win thanks to Rachel.

This comes to a head when a number of people are in the HOH with Elissa, and Jeremy and Amanda are talking about this very fact. Elissa is coy, though. “I think my sister’s fans are going to vote for me, because she has awesome fans.” She then says her sister is a supermodel, and claims to be related to Giselle Buncheon. Jeremy is confused, as he has no idea who Giselle is.

Now we get the MVP segment. A barefooted lass heads into the diary room, and sure enough it is Elissa. She opens an envelope that announces her victory, and is shocked. SHOCKED! “This is crazy!” She goes into full Rachel mode to thank America for her victory.

Elissa then heads into the HOH with McCrae, and she tells him that she has indeed won. “I am so flattered, and so excited.” She says in the diary room that she wants him to help her pick that third nominee, and McCrae couldn’t be happier. He immediately points to David, because he is such an awesome competitor!

Elissa isn’t so sure, though. She thinks Nick is a “bigger threat”. She then asks for a promise not to put her up, and McCrae says that he HAS to if somebody is to be replaced. This does not make Elissa happy. “Why would you do that? This changes everything.” He tries to reassure her that she would be safe, but Elissa’s frozen mouth almost moves into a frowning position.

After commercials, it is time for filler. At least it’s not Elissa filler. Well, it’s almost worse, as we have to endure the Aaryn/David relationship. David informs her that he lives with his mother, and only works during the summer. Aaryn can’t believe it, but he thinks that she thinks it’s cool. No, she doesn’t.

With that, we move on to the unveiling of the MVP nomination. Elissa has “secretly” chosen...drum roll please...David. Aaryn is pissed! Even more pissed than David, who thinks he is the “most likable guy in the house”. Elissa explains that she did it to possibly get McCrae to not put her up as a replacement nominee.

It’s now time to choose the veto players. In a change from last year, David has to pick both of the other players. He pulls out Howard and Elissa’s names. Candice says she has to “bring her Candy Land A-Game if I want to win this veto”.

WIth the meeting adjourned, David and Aaryn head into the bedroom for some dry humping. That’s the way to cheer up a surfer. David, though, is still confused and betrayed. “I feel like the whole house is against me.” He thinks the entire house wants him gone, but everybody else that comes into the bedroom are just as confused.

Poor Aaryn is upset, though, that David would actually think any negative thoughts about her. “I’m all about helping him out. I care about him way more than the game.” She hides away in the photo booth area to cry until David comes along to apologize.

Oh, the little Aryan youth is pissed, and lays into him for making him cry in front of everybody. “It feels like betrayal.” David says that he’s “mind-boggled” that she’s pissed at him when it’s him that is on the block. “I didn’t realize it was that dramatic of a situation.” He asks her if they’re good, and she continues to bitch at him.

Elissa enters the bedroom where Jeremy and Jessie are sitting, and asks them who they believe won MVP. “You didn’t get it with all of your fans?” Jeremy complains that she had said that she’d win with all of her sister’s fans. “I never said that”, replies Elissa. In case you forgot, the clip from ten minutes earlier was played. Jeremy is pissed.

McCrae and Amanda are now in the HOH, and Amanda says that he can’t win the veto or he’ll look like “too much of a threat”. McCrae says he hopes he can trust her, and this pisses her off. He decides that the way to get her to trust him is to share a “juicy secret” with her, and informs Amanda that Elissa won MVP. She is not to share it with anybody. Amanda wants her to “come clean soon, or she’ll have a bigger target on her”.

Elissa then head into the HOH, and McCrae tells her that he just old Amanda the big secret. “You’re screwing me over! You hate me! I thought we were working together!” Downstairs, Amanda is recruiting people to “save” McCrae.

Jeremy wants to clear up the sister comments, and she claims she never said them. Elissa explains who Giselle is to Jeremy, who says that if he won MVP he’d tell her. For some reason, though, Elissa believes this is abusive behavior. Now Jeremy is a dope who in the house has shown some questionable traits, but he’s actually cool and calm here while Elissa goes into full Rachel mode.

It’s now veto competition time, and GinaMarie screeches something about some person from the American Baking Competition show hosting the event. I have no idea who this person is, or what show she’s is talking about. They head outside, and Howard is pleased he is going to see “honeys in honey”.

The competition is called the Big Brother Baking Competition. They have to crawl through the honey to the batter, where giant “blueberries” contain letters. Then those letters are to be used to spell a word. The longest word correctly spelled wins.

After the usual “I need to win” comments, the competition begins. I won’t bore you with the usual wacky comments from the competitors, and will just jump to the results. Howard correctly spelled “sailing”, but he doesn’t want to win. Jessie spelled “tumbled”, to tie Howard (who still is in the lead). Candice completely failed, spelling “rafts”. Amanda is not impressed. “Has nobody taken a third grade English class?”

David is even worse. He doesn’t have a word, which makes Andy laugh. Elissa then unveils her word, or should I say words, as she claims “potroasts” is a word. It’s obviously not. She’s “devastated”. It’s all up to McCrae, and he wins by default by spelling “delivery”. Even without trying, he has won veto. “This is like a huge pizza delivery with no tip.”

It’s time for some filler again, as Elissa and Helen talk about how hard it is to be on the show. At least Helen actually makes an appearance on tonight’s show. Helen says it’s “important for me to keep her spirits up”.

Back outside, Elissa ask to talk to McCrae, as she feels she has been betrayed by him. She attempts to talk him out of putting her up. It’s just not fair, as Jessie and Candice didn’t have a target on them like she has. Wait, have I heard this before? He says that he has to put her up, but that doesn’t mean she’s going home. McCrae admits to feeling guilty, but fourteen allies are better than one. “I can’t go against the wishes of the house.”

McCrae is now in the HOH, and Nick comes in to talk to him. He thinks the Moving Company shouldn’t use the veto at all to ensure “Blondie” goes home. Nick thinks that Elissa can be useful to them, and that David needs to go home. “He’s a mega threat.” McCrae, though, thinks he’ll be “target number one” if he doesn’t put her up, and says he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

It’s now that time. Everybody fulfills their camera obligations. McCrae stares at the wall of keys, while the nominees and other cast members talk about how they don’t want to be on the block. McCrae finally calls them into the house, and announces that he is going to use the veto on Candice. She is then replaced by Elissa, and says it is because she “creates a lot of waves in here, and it would be better for the harmony of the house if you went home this week.”

You can guess the final comments. Candice is happy, Aaryn is not worried, and David is “not too thrilled”. Elissa gets the last word, and she is “really sad” to be on the block. “He betrayed my trust.” Oh wait, the real final word comes from McCrae, who says that Elissa is NOT the actual target.

There you have it. The Elissa Show, featuring fifteen other co-stars! What did you think of tonight’s episode? Are you starting to believe that Aryn is a controlling little twit? Or that David may be the dumbest person to ever appear on Big Brother? Comments please. Pretty please?

 

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