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Thursday
Jul182013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 10 Recap

Tonight marks the end of a reign of terror. No longer will the house cower in fear, waiting for the next chip to fall. They’ll be able to act as they please; to hang around with anybody they want.

You probably are thinking right now that I’m referring to the departure of one of the nominees - Jeremy, Aaryn, or Spencer. Oh no, no, no. The person in question is the current HOH, Helen. For the next few days at least, the rest of the house will be free of scheduled activities, lectures about what America wants, or orders to NEVER EVER consider putting up the Royal Highness of any of her court. Or any of her court’s court. Or any hangers ons of the court.

It’s a night of celebration, even if I do believe we’ll be subjected to one last speech from her. I just know that this is the episode that they’ll reintroduce the HOH interview. Julie will toss her softballs, and then have to cut Helen off as she again wanders off on too many tangents about being a mother.

One piece of good news came out a bit before the show commenced. Apparently, there is going to be “big news”regarding the twist. Does that mean no more fixed MVP??? Please say yes, and please take that botox twit along with it!

I’m getting ahead of myself, though, so let’s go right to where we left off last night. As a result of a Romeo and Juliet version of Sophie’s Choice (or at least the CBS edit did), Kaitlin took herself down knowing that her replacement would be Jeremy.

Ugh Helen does her little victory dance in the diary room as she squeals in joy. “He’s finally leaving this house!” Kaitlin and Aaryn hug, and Aaryn says she’s going to “kiss some butts this week”. Kaitlin says she should feel thrilled, but she’s bummed that Jeremy is up. Jeremy, though, says “it’s not over until it’s over”. Yeah, it’s over.

Aaryn is now in the bathroom with Jeremy, who understands why he’s up but it “sucks because it’s so early”. For some reason, Aaryn tries to sound smart, talking about how it’s just like real life. Both Jeremy and her are being “discriminated against” because they’re pretty and are good at competitions. I can just see the glee in the Big Brother producer’s eyes as he captured that soundbyte. Just put your bikini on, little girl.

In the diary room, Jeremy admits that maybe he was a little bit too gung ho at the beginning, but now he’s going to do whatever it takes to save himself. First off, he’s dressed as a baby to show he’s actually fun. He thinks it “got into people’s hearts”.

While dressed as a baby, he attempts to woo the favor of McCrae and Amanda, who deadpans “I figured he either wanted to breast feed or campaign”. She plays it perfectly, by glancing at her breasts while saying, “thank God he was just looking for some votes”. Good girl.

Jeremy makes his plea, saying that he’d let the two of them make his next HOH picks if they save him. Judd is now with them, and he also says that he’ll think about it. Jeremy then does a handstand across the backyard.

Sexy music comes on as Aaryn starts doing some exercises in front of Jessie, Andy, GinaMarie, and Judd. Her plan is to show that she’s a fun person. She is then shown kissing up to various people, including Helen and Amanda. She even apologizes to Howard for “any comment” she may have made.

Finally, Aaryn walks into a room where people are talking about GinaMarie. “She is nuts”, says Amanda as we get another shot of her crying into Nick’s shorts. They talk about the collection of his garbage that she is treasuring, and decide to hide it. After gathering her stuff, GinaMarie discovers they’re all missing, and completely freaks out. She blames it on Aaryn, first with a smile that turns into dramatic tears. She wanders off and they all giggle. Amanda and McCrae return the items, telling her it’s just a joke. Aaryn is bummed that she didn’t take their fun as a joke.

Amanda then points out to McCrae that while Amanda was a bit of an instigator, she quickly pushed the blame onto them. “Fuck Aaryn”, says McCrae. “Bitch.” Maybe keeping Jeremy isn’t a bad idea after all.

On cue (or editor’s cue), Jeremy heads upstairs to grovel at Queen Helen’s feet. He says he’ll never go against her or Elissa (who is also in the room), and Helen says that he has to cast aside Kaitlin and Aaryn over the two of them. Yeah, right. Helen then says that his attitude has to completely change, and must protect Elissa and Helen. Anything else, Queen Helen? It’s a waste of time, but it gives CBS the footage needed to make it look like somebody else just may go home tonight.

After commercials, Julie addresses the house. Elissa gets the first question, asked if she is enjoying her first week not on the block. I honestly can’t understand her response. Candice is then asked about the events of last Thursday night. Candice replies that she has forgiven Aaryn. Kaitlin is asked how hard it was to take herself down, and the answer is what you’d expect. Howard is next, with a question about his religious beliefs. He replies that it’s hard to deal with the fact that lying is a part of the game, and that “I’m feeling better about it”.

Now we finally get a family portion of the show, and it is Amanda and McCrae’s folks! A bit of a disclaimer here. I’ follow Amanda’s dad and sister on twitter, and find them to be a treat. I’m not going to apologize for being a proud friend here. After some cutesy footage of the pair, we move to McCrae’s family cheering him on as he makes out with Amanda. His dad describes him as “unique”, and how he and his mother has been diehard fans for years.
Time to move on to the Zukerman’s. Her mom says that she has dated “quite a bit”, and all kinds. Her dad adds that she always gets what she wants. A little tiff is then shown between the pair, and Andy says they should get married. McCrae’s dad complains that Amanda “wears the pants” in their relationship. Amanda’s mom does hope there is more to McCrae than pizza delivery. A fun little segment.

More commercials before we move to the final pleas. Jeremy goes first, and he pretty much concedes that he’s a goner. He says that he played too hard, and throws in some reference to poop for some reason. Aaryn is next, and thanks her family but says she’ll respect any house decision. Spencer thanks a bunch of people, including Dave Grohl. Wait, what???

Voting then starts with Candice, who votes to evict Jeremy, as does Andy, Howard, and Elissa. Kaitlin, though, votes to evict Spencer as does GinaMarie. Wait, GinaMarie actually voted against Jeremy! Amanda also votes against Jeremy, as does McCrae (for eating the last pizza in the house), Jessie, and Judd. Jeremy is out 9- 0 -1!

We have to wait, though, before his eviction. Julie announces the vote, and Jeremy is up before she’s even done. He’s pretty calm, hugging everybody and saying “it’s nothing personal”. Saying “where’s my princess”, the last kiss and hug goes to Kaitlin. “Play hard”, he says as he walks out.

There’s no in-house craziness with this eviction, as they all calmly wait for Jeremy’s picture to go dark. We quickly return to Julie and Jeremy, who starts off by asking if his cockiness is why he’s gone. He says that everybody said he had to “calm down, but I’m a winner”. Even Julie thinks this is idiotic, but he says that because of Kaitlin he is walking out a different man. Julie goes on about the bully image, which Jeremy denies with some silliness about being big. God, he’s a moron. Julie won’t let the growing thing die, and we get more of this garbage about “working on his inside”.

Goodbye message time, and it starts with McCrae complaining about his arrogance. Elissa doesn’t have anything to say, which isn’t anything new. Helen does what she does best...lecture. Kaitlin then sadly says she can’t bear to deal without him, but she can’t wait to see him afterwards. Julie asks how excited he will be to see her afterwards, and he says “she better bring home the check”. Classy, dude.

I initially missed this, but I guess this week America is choosing a nominee instead of a MVP??? Wow, interesting. Vote Elissa!

With the eviction over, it’s time for the HOH competition. Earlier this week, there were questions on CBS.com where we were to pick which house guest were best described by a royal character (jester, queen, etc.) Well, kinda like that. More like “who is the queen of clumsiness” type of thing. It’s called “Big Brother Royalty”, Two names are read for each question, and you’re out if you get it wrong. Pretty much like last week’s competition, really.

The first question is about the “Earl of Egotism”, and everybody correctly picks Aaryn. The second question is the “Lord of Laziness”, and Andy, Amanda, Candice, and Elissa incorrectly choose Judd. The third question is the “Baron of Boneheads”, and they all correctly pick GinaMarie. Question four is the “Knight of Naughtiness”, and and everybody again correctly chooses Amanda. The next question is the “Duke of Dork”, and Aaryn, Jessie, and GinaMarie are now out. The last question is the “Sultan of Sexy”, and Howard and Spencer are now out.

It’s between Judd, Kaitlin, and McCrae for the tiebreaker. Julie asks how many gallons of milk would it take to fill the vats in the scary dairy competition. Kaitlin writes 410, Judd has 650, and McCrae has 600. Judd is the new HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD!!!! Fantastic!

Well, this week should be more entertaining, although I have a feeling he’s going to pay too much attention to the likes of Helen and Elissa. Maybe he’ll surprise us, though. At the very least, I’ll have new material for this week’s Big Brother Gossip Show.

Before we go, though, Julie announces the twist that the MVP is not to be what they think. "Expect the unexpected." Hey, it's better than having Elissa pick somebody!

What did you think? Are you happy that Jeremy is finally gone? Or that Judd is the new HOH? Or that Julie did NOT do the HOH interview segment? Tell us your thoughts!

 

Wednesday
Jul172013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 9 Recap

After Sunday night’s dramatic events, tonight’s show is bound to be a sleeper. It’s going to be chock full of filler, along with the not-so-dramatic reveal of the MVP and the veto competition. Seriously, this is going to be a snoozer of a show, filled with lots of pontificating from the so-called “good people”.

So let’s get this over with. You know the drill. The show starts with the predictable nominations of Kaitlin and Aaryn. The nominees are angry; Helen and her nerd herd posse are thrilled and believe this is the biggest move in Big Brother history, especially if she can put her real target up as a replacement nominee.

Jeremy is in the bedroom now with Kaitlin, who says she’s not worried. Jeremy knows that he’s probably the third nominee, or will go up as a replacement. “There’s no doubt in my mind.” Kaitlin is a bit more upbeat, as she says everybody is after Aaryn. He says she’s right, and kisses her.

Helen then convenes her nerds up to the HOH to talk about the third nominee. She’s joined by Amanda and McCrae, and informs them of Howard’s lie. Yet, it’s Jeremy she wants out, but she wants to “backdoor Jeremy with a smile on our faces”. Amanda is pushing for putting up Howard instead of Spencer, with Jeremy as the replacement.

Helen now meets with Spencer, who knows he has to spill the beans about the Movers. She obviously already knows, and thanks him for finally informing her. For some reason, she starts bawling about how this alliance “makes me look like an idiot to America”. In the diary room, she claims to be faking all of her house tears, but I don’t buy. She gives Spencer a lecture, and they hug and he walks out. Judging by the diary room, though, Spencer seems to be buying her act.

Spencer heads downstairs and informs Howard that Helen does know about the Movers, and her feelings are hurt. Uh oh. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to face them”, he says.

Ugh, MVP time, and our winner is dolled up again. “Shut up”, says Elissa as she enters the room, and I wholeheartedly agree. “Oh my gawwwwwwsh.” Why she has to read that same script for the third week is above me, but whatever.

Elissa is now talking to McCrae about the MVP, and Amanda walks in as she talks about how it’s going to kill her to put up Howard. Amanda says she HAS to put him up, and Elissa complains about how she supposedly wasn’t involved in that decision. “It’s super frustrating. I feel so used. UGGGGGH!” My feelings exactly. On the ugh. (Conveniently, they edited out the part where they agree to let McCrae pretend he won MVP. This actually is why Amanda is angry a couple of paragraphs down. One simple edit makes a huge difference, folks!)

More Movers talk, as Howard now comes up to confess his sins. Why does it matter? They had an alliance, so what? Why is this whole week focused on this big “lie”? It drives me up the wall. Howard apologizes, and the tears come out from not only Helen but for some reason Jessie. Helen again gives a lecture.

Elissa asks everybody to leave the room, and she then asks Helen if the feelings for her are genuine. She complains that she’s just being used for her MVP’s. “This is as much your HOH as it is mine”, consoles Helen. They conclude it doesn’t matter who is put up, as they’re going to backdoor Jeremy anyway.

Amanda and McCrae are brought back up, and Amanda complains again about putting up Spencer instead of Howard. Elissa whines...and whines some more about how all of the strong guys are going to be against her. Elissa says in the diary room that she doesn’t like her agenda. Amanda’s point is that Spencer is not as big of a threat as Howard, and points out how Howard has not voted with them either week. It’s still a problem for Elissa, as she says she has to do the “dirty work” anyway. We see fake tears as she says “ultimately it comes down to what is good for my game”.

There should be another segment here where Elissa looks like a complete fool after making (but denying) her MVP pick. Oh well, gotta look good to ensure those phony MVP votes!

Time for the MVP reveal, and it is Spencer, who says he knew it was going to happen. Elissa says her only reason to nominate him is because of the “pressure” that Amanda and McCrae put on her. BULLSHIT!!! Helen then pulls out the chips to see who CBS wants to play for veto, and it’s GinaMarie and Candice. Jeremy is pissed because he knows what will probably happen. The host for the competition will be Judd.

Before the competition, though, Spencer and Candice head up to the HOH. Helen tells them that they need to win so that Jeremy can be backdoored. Spencer couldn’t be happier with this plan. Meanwhile, Jeremy knows what’s going on, and is a bit mope-y as he talks to Kaitlin and Aaryn, After he walks out of the room, they continue their whinefest. It would feel awful for them to win veto and be replaced by Jeremy. They actually talk to GinaMarie about winning the veto and not saying it so that he can’t be backdoored. “I want to keep these nominations the same”, says Kaitlin in the diary room. WTF? Actually, I should say WHAT THE FUCK???

Kaitlin is now talking to Amanda about not being pulled off, and Amanda tells her that she’s crazy. Kaitlin thinks that Aaryn would be the one to go home if the noms don’t change, and Amanda says that’s crazy because Aaryn is alone while Kaitlin has Jeremy.

It’s now veto comp time. There are a bunch of pieces of artwork that has house guest pictures in the place of the classic pieces. They have to jump on a trampoline to look over the “wall” to see how the pictures are placed on the wall. The person who recreates that wall in the shortest time wins.

LIke always, I’m not going to recap every description and incident that happens, especially after Candice’s whiny voice slowly reciting her script. GinaMarie gets her panties all wet by seeing a piece involving Nick. The results are in, and Candice’s time was 8:46, while GinaMarie was 8:56. Spencer was 12:19, Aaryn placed at 9:50, but Kaitlin is the new leader at 7:09. It’s all up to Helen, but alas her time was 8:55. Kaitlin is the new veto holder!

It’s apparently a big decision, because taking herself down is going to mean Jeremy is going home. Helen adds to the fake controversy by also complaining. No need to fret, ladies. Amanda already saved the day!

After commercials, Kaitlin and Jeremy are again babbling about her “awkward position”. Jeremy babbles in the diary room that he didn’t come to play a game where a bunch of dumb girls will beat him, so he’s going to use his charms to get Kaitlin to not user her veto. Kaitlin’s idea is to get Helen to put up Howard instead. Good luck with that.

Kaitlin dutifully makes her way upstairs, and Camp Counselor Helen congratulates her on her win. She openly admits that Jeremy is somebody she wants to go up, and if she doesn’t do that “the house will kill me”. Kaitlin says Howard is untrustworthy, and is throwing competitions. Helen agrees, but because Jeremy has treated everybody so badly that the house is making her put him up. In case you forgot, they replay the “winegate” silliness. Kaitlin continues to campaign, and somehow Helen calls her “sweet”. Sweet whore, maybe, but “sweet”? No.

It’s finally starting to sink in that Jeremy is toast, and she takes him into the storage room to give him the bad news. Shockingly, he’s not entirely a dick...and the romantic music comes up as they embrace. In the diary room, Kaitlin complains that she doesn’t want to be in the house without him, and that she doesn’t believe that she’s the biggest target on the block. Maybe she shouldn’t save herself? (Oh God, that has to be scripted!)

It’s finally time for the inevitable. Is there really anybody watching that doesn’t believe she’ll use the veto? Come on, even without the online spoilers it was a ridiculous idea. She does read the script a bit more believably than most of her costars, but she obviously does use the veto to save herself...after a long, long delay. Helen then gets up, and nominates Jeremy.

After the usual little diary room babbling, the episode is over. I have to admit it wasn’t as fluffy as expected, and the Camp Counselor material was kept at a minimum. What did you think? Were you “surprised” by Elissa’s MVP win? Or Kaitlin’s decision to save herself? Let us know what you think!

 

Sunday
Jul142013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 8 Recap

Strap in, kids. Tonight’s going to be a wild ride. If you have watched any of the feeds since Thursday night, or listened to last night’s Big Brother Gossip Show (and if you haven’t, why?), then you know wild shit went down after the live show was over. There was a bit of an online debate regarding if any of that would be shown, but a source told us a few hours before the broadcast that it would indeed be addressed.

It’s a “good”(?) sign that there’s a disclaimer before the show even begins. After the recap of events, we go back to Nick’s eviction. GinaMarie is a mess. “My heart is in pieces.” Oh lord, this is pathetic. Jeremy says he was “flabbergasted beyond belief...we have some goobers in the group”. Aaryn now realizes she’s part of the “minority of the house”. We all know being a minority is her worst dream.

Helen, meanwhile, is celebrating because “her” plan came through. I’m putting in the parenthesis because it wasn’t due to Helen’s work that Elissa was saved. It was Amanda that turned the boys.

We get more footage of GinaMarie bawling as Nick walks out, and Elissa looks at the camera to say she loves America. Jeremy is seen mouthing, “what the fuck”, as Amanda winks at McCrae. GinaMarie runs into the bathroom,, and Aaryn says she has to get herself together for the HOH competition.

Kaitlin, meanwhile, is already yelling at Jessie, who denies voting against their side. GinaMarie comes back out and starts yelling about Elissa’s MVP wins. “All of you’s are so stupid! Cook your own damn chicken parm!” It goes on and on, as Amanda laughs in another room. “You guys are scrubs! You guys are losers!” Amanda is dying.

McCrae then tells us about how he had to choose between the Movers and Amanda. I mae my choice. GinaMarie is still screaming, and Spencer talks about how Jeremy is the one who is making it hard for the Movers to stay together. Instead of giving credit to Amanda for switching sides, he says it was due to Helen’s “emotional pitch”. Ugh. We get a recap of what supposedly happened, instead of what actually happened. Howard claims that he didn’t change votes because he wanted some “wiggle room”.

We then jump to Helen’s HOH victory. She does her wacky little dance, and then tells America’s children to “study”. Ugh. While she’s celebrating, the other side is beyond upset. Jeremy says it’s “not over yet. I’m going to hold my chin high as it’s too pretty to hold it low.” Gross.

Helen,, Elissa, and Candice celebrate their win. Amanda and Jessie also come in, and Helen again does her dumb dance as Elissa says they’re going to change the attitude in the house. Jeremy comes in and congratulates her on her victory. “I am flabbergasted by your game play.” Really?

Aaryn and Kaitlyn go into the lounge to do what they do best...whine. Again, they complain about being the “minority”. GinaMarie then comes in with Nick’s hat and shorts. “I really liked him. I really liked him. We were getting closer.” She’s just nuts. She even blows her nose into the shorts in the diary room.

Jump ahead a few hours, and Aaryn, Kaitlin, and Jeremy are reclaiming the beds they want. too bad one of them is the one that Jessie has been sleeping in her entire stay. They go full “mean girls” on her, and complain about her changing loyalties. Jessie counters that they’ve never had her back, and Kaitlin commands her to “get the fuck out of here”. Judd comes in, and pulls her out of the room. “Judd can be your fifth chance at a showmance.”

The catty comments contniue, and then suddenly Aaryn tears apart Candice’s bed as Kaitlin laughs. We go to commercials...

When we return, Jessie comes back in and climbs into her bed. Kaitlin decides to also get into her bed, and Jessie asks her to leave. Candice then comes in, and wonders what the story is with her bed. Kaitlin plays dead. Jeremy then comes in, and climbs into Jessie’s bed. Jeremy and Kaitlin continue to harass her, and Candice jumps in.

Aaryn then walks into the room, and Candice complains about her bed being flipped. Aaryn then goes into full stereotype “what’cha gonna do, guuuurl?” mode. Howard walks in, and Candice informs him what happened as Aaryn goes into that type of talking again. Howard tries to get Candice to leave the room as now GinaMarie gets into Candice’s face. Finally, Howard lifts her over his shoulders and carries her out of the room as the mean kids laugh.

Howard pleads with Candice to let them have the bed for the night, as he can’t control his temper if this continues. Candice complains about all of the racial slurs she’s had to endure these past three weeks, and Howard embraces her. Howard understands how she wants to stand up for what is right, but one can’t do that in this game. Seriously, you should go watch this on Flashback, as it is a tear jerker. Even this curmudgeon had to wipe a tear or two away when he first saw this go down. Candice finally leaves the room, and Howard sits down and prays with tears in his eyes.

Meanwhile, the mean girls are still yelling at Jessie, and Amanda overhears it. She’s had enough. This is another great moment, as she bitches at them for their cattiness. Not only to the rest of the house, but each other. “That’s why she came over to the other side. It all makes sense!” She goes on about how everybody is talking about Aaryn’s racial comments, and Aaryn denies making any of them. “I tried to help you.” She ends it by saying she’s going to go have fun with the other side of the house. Again, go watch this on Flashback. It was amazing.

Candice is now in the bathroom crying. She says she has never seen anybody as awful as Aaryn, and she tells the whole story of what happened to Helen, ANdy, and Elissa. Helen has had enough, and she says that anybody who has ever been a victim of abuse is cheering for her right now. “We’re going to vote them out.”

After commercials, Amanda and McCrae are laying in the lounge together, and McCrae says he has a secret to tell her. He then tells her all about The Moving Company. He’s hoping this creates a bigger bond between the two as he informs her of the whole story. Amanda says at first she thinks good job as it even fooled her. He goes on to say about how they told him he needs to drop her, but no way was he going to drop his queen.

Meanwhile, GinaMarie is still crying over Nick, and Aaryn and Candice try to cheer her up. Candice says she can’t help “as a woman” to not console her. Aaryn then apologizes. Sort of. She says she has “nothing against any other race”, and claims in the diary room that she is not that type of girl. Of course, she also doesn’t Candice to use it against her. Candice says she accepts her apology, but in the diary room says she doesn’t believe her. “To me, her apology is like dirt.”

It’s Have-Not competition time, and it’s a barnyard setup. After the seriousness of the last half hour, I could give a shit about this, except for the fact that Howard wants to throw it so that Aaryn, GinaMarie, and Kaitlin are have-nots for the week. Let’s jump to the conclusion - the Have-nots this week are Amanda, McCrae, Judd, and Jessie. Somehow, GinaMarie concludes that this is retribution for Nick’s departure.

Jeremy now runs upstairs to confess all to Helen. I just don’t get why it’s so important for everybody to know about The Moving company. Helen is all cocky because she “killed the Moving Company”. No, you didn’t. Jeremy also throws Kaitlin under the bus, and he says he “didn’t come in here to make a wife”. Helen loves this, and “maybe I can use Jeremy in this game”.

We’re showing way too much of this “kiss the ring” stuff, as Howard now comes in. Unlike Jeremy, though, he doesn’t follow through in telling all. He lies about the Movers. He lies about his vote. He finally admits that he voted to evict Elissa, and Helen starts crying. He still lies about the Movers, and Helen is disappointed.

It’s finally nomination time, and Elissa’s key is first, followed by Andy, Candice, McCrae, Amanda, GinaMarie, Judd, Jessie, Howard, Spencer, and Jeremy. Aaryn and Kaitlin are the nominees. Helen gives a bullshit speech about how they are strong competitors and they can save themselves in the veto competition. Ho hum.

Little of substance is said in the final seconds of the show. They hate being on the block. Jeremy didn’t come here to get married. Helen wants Aaryn to go home, but she has bigger targets. “Watch out. Here comes Helen.”

What did you think of tonight’s episode? Were you happy with how they treated the extreme behavior? How about those noms? Tell us what you think!

 

Wednesday
Jul102013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 6 Recap

A simple intro to what should be a simple (and annoying episode). MVP silliness. Veto comp hosted by a Big Brother alum. A “thrown” performance that wasn’t good enough for the deal maker. Filler. Nominations.

So let’s start with the reactions to Aaryn’s nominations of Elissa and Helen. Guess what, neither are happy! Elissa doesn’t understand how people say she is “making waves”, and complains that it was “vindictive” to nominate Helen because of her. Helen thinks Aaryn is threatened by her friendship with Elissa. For some strange reason, Helen believes they were put up together to create a fight between the two of them. Hmmm, not really.

Helen enters the have-not room with tears in her eyes, followed by Elissa. “How original, right”, says Elissa. They hug, and Elissa goes into the standard Reilly “she’s so mean to me” mantra. Just to make sure you understand the mood of the room, the sad background music comes up as Helen promises to help save Elissa.

Candice joins the pair, and Helen tells her she shouldn’t hang out with the “pariahs of the house”. Again, we get to hear Candice’s (correct) theory about the all-boys alliance. Elissa almost forgot her script, but finally says “please, Brenchel fans, vote for us for MVP”. No worries about that.

In the storage room, the Movers are talking about how all of the women are going crazy. “I can’t wait to send them all home”, says Jeremy. He says that the girls are going to go home “one by one by one”. Yeah, right.

Helen is now upstairs playing chess with Howard, and after Kaitlin walks out of the HOH, she asks if he would mind if she talked to Aaryn. Helen still wants to work with Aaryn, who says it was hard to put her up. The music builds up as they continue to talk about secretly being an alliance, and Helen even says that putting her up was a smart move.

Ugh, here we go with the MVP bullshit...and yes, it was indeed Elissa. Yeah, act surprised, you dumb twit. “Like, how?” Really? In case you forgot how MVP works, she reads the exact same card from last week. “America, thank you so much...I’m doing this for you.” Ugh.

Elissa heads into the Have-not room to tell Helen, who does the weirdest little dance I’ve ever seen. They decide not to tell anybody, and Elissa says that Jeremy is her ultimate target. Helen is thinking ahead, though, and wants to know who would be the replacements? “Kaitlin.” But if...oh god, Helen, you’re thinking way beyond Elissa’s line of thinking. So now the question is whether they immediately put up Jeremy, or wait to do a backdoor. Ultimately, they go with Jeremy after all.

Filler time, as GinaMarie flirts with Nick. Poor Nick, even though he plays it well in the diary room. He’s not interested in Jessie. He’s not interested in GinaMarie. That doesn’t stop CBS from pushing it, though.

We’re spared from more of this ugliness, as it is time to pick POV players. First off, there’s the MVP nomination, and after a long buildup it is indeed Jeremy. Aaryn pulls out Amanda and Nick’s names. Nick is happy to be a part of it, and hopes to be able to save his “homeboy” Jeremy. GinaMarie will host, and she couldn’t be happier.

Elissa admits she’s a bit concerned over her choice as Jeremy, as he’s pretty fired up. To make sure we know just how focused he is, he puts on a show in the diary room on how he is such a “manimal”.

Arryn, meanwhile, heads upstairs. The girls all make fun of Elissa’s choice, as Jeremy is going to kick her ass. “This is the worst move she could possibly make”, says Kaitlin.

GinaMarie is asking Nick if it is smart for him to try to win this comp, and he thinks it is. They’re interrupted by Elissa, who is worried because “Nick is a fierce competitor”. She proposes a two week deal with Nick, and if he doesn’t throw it she will put him up as a replacement. He says that this is a win/win for him, as if he loses he won’t go up but a win also ensures he won’t go up. They shake on the deal.

Ugh, even more Elissa time. Her and Helen are crying about missing their kids, and Howard comes in to cheer them up. He leads them in a prayer. Please find me my bucket to puke in. This leads to a medley of Howard praying. Great for him, but a bore for viewers. Move on!

It’s now veto competition time, and GinaMarie is dressed as a baby. Yes, I typed that correctly. GinaMarie is dressed as a baby. Fitting, right. She introduces a video message from Britney. She shows her pregnant belly, and she tells them to head outside for the cmopetition.

The backyard is dressed up as a baby nursery, and they have to create a “giant baby mobile”. The first one to perfectly balance ten stuffed animals wins the veto.

After a bunch of cutesy diary room comments, the contest begins. This isn’t exactly exciting. Nick again explains his idea is to actually try to win, and...that’s enough. Why we need everybody involved to tell us how this works is beyond me.

For a second it looked like Amanda was going to win, but one of the animals was touching the ground. She makes an adjustment, and it still didn’t work. “Much like a baby, I need a bottle...of vodka”. She’s really getting a good edit.

Jeremy then tells us how he figured out how to win this comp, and he starts moving faster. Helen, though, is close to him, but Jeremy suddenly sprints to the win! Ugh, he is really the worst winner ever. Helen knows that somehow they need to come up with a bigger threat than the two of them. Well, a bigger threat than Elissa. Nobody thinks Helen is a threat.

After commercials, we get some filler of Jeremy and Kaitlin making out. They quit kissing, though, as Kaitlin is worried that she may be going the same route as David did last week. Yeah, the porn music comes up as they keep kissing. Oh wait, she’s upset again. Oh wait, they’re kissing again. Ok, enough.

Once the making out is over, Jeremy heads down to chat with the Movers to make sure that Elissa is the one that goes home this week. He tells Jeremy that if somehow Elissa doesn’t go, that means that a Mover made a wrong vote. Nick is not happy with this. “We’re a business.”

Jeremy moves on to the other Movers with the same story, and none of them are happy about this. “God is the only boss I listen to”, complains Howard. “Who died and made you boss”, asks McCrae. They’re all becoming a bit suspicious of Jeremy.

We move on to Elissa, who is talking to Candice. Like before, Candice wants to get rid of the guys, and complains that girls never make big moves in the house. There’s no way that a girl can be put on the block to replace Jeremy. Candice wants Nick put up, and that he’s working with Jeremy.

Elissa is conflicted, though. She promised to not put him up, and doesn’t want to go against her word. Candice moves on with the reasons why Nick has to go, and Elissa is shown nodding her head in approval.

Before we get to the veto ceremony, Elissa is seen going up to Nick and asking if he’d vote to evict Kaitlin. He gives an unintelligible answer, and says he’s not in “gameface right now”. She says that if he can’t answer, she may have to break their deal. He wants some time to think about it. Yep, she has her way out of their deal. In her mind, at least. (Especially since they didn’t show the conversation where Nick did try to work with her.)

It’s NOW finally veto meeting, and they still have Jeremy stare at the wall of keys. Why? We know he’s saving himself. Oh yeah, we have to have the commentary from those on the block, or possibly going on the block.

Everybody is called in, and Jeremy indeed saves himself. Elissa gets up, and after many, many seconds of buildup, has nominated Nick. GinaMarie is about to die! The Movers aren’t happy either!

So that’s it, after blah blah blah I want to win blah blah blah the game’s not over blah blah blah Momsquad. Wait, Momsquad??? Ugh.

Your thoughts on this episode? Did Elissa break her word? Were you happy to see Britney back? How bad does Elissa read her script? Tell us your thoughts!

 

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