Big Brother Gossip Search
Recent Posts
Navigation
Get The Live Feeds

Click for FREE 2 Day Trial
Big Brother Gossip Show

I now have a website set up where you can go to hear current and old episodes of the Big Brother Gossip podcast.  Please go to BigBrotherPodcast.com!

 

The Season's Authors

Click for their posts.

Ash

IndyMike

Scott

Target John

Twitter Feeds

Syndication Links

Entries in Episode Recap (118)

Sunday
Sep022012

Big Brother #14, Episode 23 Recap (Sort Of)

Call it the holiday blues. Call it laziness. Call it what you like, but I decided against my usual 10,000 word recap tonight. I knew the format of tonight's show would match every other endurance Sunday episode, and the appearance of Grodner's human dildo, Jessie, was not reason enough to sit through and transcribe. Plus, I've had visions all day of a beautiful woman partying in New Orleans, wearing little more than a sexy tank top.

I did watch, though, and had some fun tweeting my usual absurdist silliness. I hearby treat you to some of my reactions from this long, long hour.

7:57 Instead of All-Stars, they should have an ultimate losers season. Can you imagine an endurance where Joe & Kathy pin a tail on a donkey?

7:59 We could have a comp where Ian, Danielle, and Cowboy have to make the goofiest faces in the mirror.

8:00 After last night, though, we do know one contest where Joe would excel...but it would have to be on Showtime.

8:00 Maybe Joe, Ian, and Brendon could have a Skype self-pleasure contest! #AllStarLosersSeason

8:02 So the show starts tonight with dummy#1, dummy#2, and dummy#3....with a drunk, twitching idiot#4.

8:03 And a self-important, "Christian" douchebag.

8:04 Cue Dan screaming the instructions in the diary room any second now...

8:04 Oh Jenn, you have yet to make a big move and you have yet to be a "big target".

8:05 Wait, is this a loop? Joe and Jenn aren't down yet?

8:05 Ian's growing self-importance is the funniest thing about this season.

8:06 And there is the screaming. *WhereIsTheMuteButton?

8:07 Joe, not only are your four kids laughing at you but all of America is

8:07 I'm sorry, the Hula Hoop "punishment" was no punishment, and Joe loved every fucking second of the attention. #GuaranteedScreenTime

8:08 Good thing precious Danielle wasn't bruised by the "comet"

8:08 Oh look, there's goes the "big target" Jenn.

8:09 What we learned tonight - giant red penises are kryptonite to Brooklyn lesbians.

8:10 Dan, can you scream the obvious just a little bit louder? I missed it the first five times.

8:11 Shane sure loves hitting the penis comet.

8:11 So Danielle is completely made up for the comp, but is in the diary room showing every blemish. #DumbTwit

8:12 Dammit, CBS, why no Danielle puke footage??

8:12 Dan was up 42 minutes - I had predicted 45.

8:17 It amazes me that they stretch out these boring endurance comps to almost a full half hour of broadcast time.

8:22 So the new rule is that breaking alliances is ok if you "like" the new people more Interesting.

8:27 Oh look, the only two people who didn't think Frank was going up. #JoeAndFrankAreClueless

8:28 Now this "girlfriend" convo is by far Jenn's BEST MOMENT OF THE SEASON!!!! You go girl!!!

8:28 Hmmm, Danielle is actually all made up and busty for the Shane diary room convo???

8:28 Ian's HOH reveal. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

8:30 Danielle's only thought about Ian's HOH is "where are the Cheetos?"

8:31 So all the Dan fans saying that he didn't have a F2 deal with Frank, he himself has said it at least 3 times tonight.

8:32 Fuck the Quack Pack.

8:32 Poor Joe had to stop jerking off to do his dumb hula hoop shit.

8:33 You know when the season is over Danielle is going to be pissed they didn't show her in the hula hoop.

8:35 Ding Ding Ding Ian!!! He can't play HOH next week. Your idiot Quackers would have a better chance at winning HOH

8:40 Oh come on, like Mr. BB WIki would even consider NOT opening Pandora.

8:42 Even on the scale of Jessie appearances, this is easily the worst Pandora ever. zzzzzz

8:43 Who wants Jessie's dick more - Grodner, Danielle, or Shane???

8:44 This segment would have been better if chip-chomper Britney had still been there.

8:45 Yes, Dan, scream that same theme to us one more time. We may have forgotten since ten minutes ago.

8:46 Dan's "It's kind of your call", which means "here's what I am commanding you to do".

8:47 This season is such a disaster that I actually want that delusional twit Danielle to win.

8:54 Oh come on, Ian, this is not the "difficult decision" the scriptwriters want us to believe.

8:55 Danielle clearly remembered that this is guaranteed camera time, as her tits are busting out of that shirt.

8:56 Ian, quit lying. Jenn has NOT played a "remarkable social game" this season. She's been invisible!

8:56 Ugh..."quack quack". Shut it, Ian.

8:57 Oh Jenn, I now laugh at your diary room segments as much as I do Dan and Joe's.

Thursday
Aug302012

Big Brother #14, Episode 22 Recap

For the second week in a row, we will be saying goodbye to a so-called Big Brother legend. A beautiful little thing with a wandering eye but the gift of snark, our departing player originally lost her "dignity on a slippery wiener", but also managed to survive being shackled to two of the most annoying people in Big Brother history, was outplayed by a gang of fratboys with a collective IQ of 75, and never met a crinkly bag of chips she didn't devour.

Although we will never forget our little Britney, honestly she was never much of a player. Yet she never claimed to be one, either, admitting earlier this year that she spent her entire first season in a bikini (hence my love for her). With competition wins not a part of her vocabulary, she used her gift for gab (and more and more gab) to attach herself to anybody that had temporary power. She will be missed.

Or is she really going? After wasting over two days on wine, sleep, and Cheetos, Britney actually attempted to work the room earlier today. Was it too little too late? Big Brother history says her chances are slim to none, but who knows what happened in those couple of hours before tonight's broadcast? I know I'd like to see it just to witness how it shakes up the dynamics of the house just minutes before what we believe is an endurance competition.

At the very least, her last-ditch attempts will create enough footage for CBS to create a little bit of doubt, so don't put too much stock into the opening segments. Before we get to the campaign footage, though, we have some explosive footage that occurred immediately after Jenn City (stupidly) used her veto to save Dan...who was replaced by our little blonde heroine.

After a hyperbole-fuelled recap...and another recap...and Dan's narrative recap...followed by Julie's second over-the-top recap...we finally get started. Dan is celebratory, Britney is sad, and Ian is angry. Britney's complaint is that "a giant carrot put me on the block next to my best friend in the house". Shane hugs her, whispering that he "had no idea what just happened". Ian is more worried that Frank now knows about his double-crossing, while Britney asks Danielle if she knew this was going to happen. "I had no idea", she lies.

Frank and Jenn City go upstairs to celebrate, while Dan goes into the lounge to quietly yell "I'm back!" Yes, cue more yelling in the diary room. He also continues talking to the camera, smugly saying this was his best move ever. We get it, Dan. Move on, Boy Wonder.

Ian is still furious, and stomps his way right up to the HOH. Is he going to pop Frank in the nose? Of course not. He just meekly says that he his "not too pleased", and Frank throws it back in his face that earlier he said he had "covered all of his own bases". Sending Britney home uncovers a base or two, I guess. Shane then enters as Ian's voice raises a bit, and he then heads downstairs.

Britney hugs him and says that it is fine, but Ian keeps pacing as Britney enters the lounge. "Dan lives to fight again", she says to him, who replies that it is "nothing personal". He tells her to go talk to the HOH, but she wants him to "just be honest". He doesn't reply, so she walks out. Oh wait, she has to stop to complain that he is being "cold" to her, and that he has to remember that he needs to remember she's a jury vote.

He just can't sit still! Danielle and Shane are still in the living room, and Ian now paces into their orbit with a beer in his hand. "I will revenge it. That's for sure." Shane wants to know how Jenn got involved with this, but Danielle is more concerned about her "acting".

It is now Britney's turn to complain to Frank, and she does the whole "it is what it is" line. Frank says that he had to do this to hurt Ian's game, but Britney claims he's not as close to her as Ash was to him. Now that is a silly argument. Plus, she had something to do with that move, which puts Britney into her typical overdrive...and that she knew this was coming. The tears come out (and the piano music) as both Frank and Jenn tell her how great she is. "I'll help you if you keep me." Too late, baby doll.

Back to angry Ian. Frank walks back into the living room, and Shane says that he understands it was a "tough decision". A tough decision that "you had several days to think about", adds Ian. Oh, it is on....and Dan loves it from the other room. "I thought they were taking advantage of you because you were a kid", says Frank, "but it turns out you're just trying to be sneaky." The talk moves on to booting Boogie, and Dan is really laughing now.

Ian finally sits down, and Frank comes back out of the storage room to start it all up again. This time, it is about Frank telling Boogie to give Ian the three grand, and how he repaid that by getting out Boogie. Ian then tells the entire house that anybody that sits next to Frank in the finals will lose 7-0. Um, doubtful. We end with Frank complaining about his carrot costume, Ian flipping the bird, and Britney crying. Perfect.

After commercials, we move on to the footage to make us think Britney has a chance. Everybody is outside, and Britney tells Frank that she's not mad at him. No, it's the person "who elbowed me in the face during phone machine. I don't want anybody to be under the misinterpretation that Dan doesn't want to do anything for anybody if it's not the best thing for them." That doesn't quite make sense, but I get what she's saying. She calls herself an idiot for believing his BS, but Ian jumps right to her defense. "No, you're not an idiot." Danielle, though, has to cover her face so that she doesn't spoil her cover. Frank, though, is happy that the focus is on Dan instead of him. Ok, Britney, enough. It is funny, but we have other things to deal with.

Britney then heads into the house, and runs into a quiet Dan. "You can't even say sorry." She says that the worst thing she's done in the game is to believe him.

Oh wait, there is Joe! He is in the bedroom with Shane, the "only person I trust right now". Joe tells him that he is the one who will have to make the call on who to evict, and we get footage of Joe's pledge to get down on his knees for a grateful Shane.

And cut. We have the footage necessary to make it seem up in the air, as we go right to Julie's insipid questions for the house. She begins with Ian, and his explosive words after the veto. She asks what the mood in the house is right now, and Ian says that although it is better it is tense. Jenn is then asked about her move, and she says it "was the most brutal decision I've made thus far in the house". Um, it is your only move in the house.

She goes on to suck on Dan for a bit, and he has a typical ridiculous ass-kissing reply. Julie then asks about Shane's tears during the funeral, and as always he can't string a sentence together. Thankfully, we are done with this always-terrible segment.

Before we get to the eviction, though, we have to have one last piece of Britney fluff. The segment starts with her looking back at her disastrous relationship with the "Brigade", and we have a reunion with these three silly (and one cool) guys. I only care about the Matt portion, especially when they showed the pic of him dressed as Britney for "Hoffoween"...or when he calls Danielle a stalker. YES!!!

To further the filler, Julie also talks to Frank. We will skip that portion.

Finally, it is eviction time. Danielle goes first with the final plea, and her Southern accent is accentuated for some reason as she say she loves everybody. Then Britney gets up and says hello to her husband, family, and BB fans. She says she "doesn't have the time or a big enough ego to host my own funeral but I understand that you have to do what is best for your own game". She ends by quoting a wise old man, "you'll always be Judas to me" as she points to Dan. I will miss the little bitch.

Voting starts with Dan, who obviously votes to evict Britney, as does Jenn. Ian, though, votes to evict Danielle. Shane, however, goes against Birtney. Yes, so does Joe. Britney is out by a 4-1 vote!

Julie reads the results, all is calm as she gathers her stuff and heads out. After the customary de-coloring of her name on the memory wall, Julie asks about her Judas comment. "As a lover of this game, I can really see that he did what he had to do to get off the block. I'm the one sitting here right now, so obviously I'm not happy about it." Julie asks if it is pure genius or pure evil, and Britney says both because "he flipped the house in an hour and used the Bible to do it".

She is then asked about how she went from being the "Queen" ("I try") to having the rug pulled out from under her, and Britney says that a lot of it had to do with Ian. "(He) got me into a lot of trouble, and I kept having to cover for him over and over." She doesn't regret being with him, though, but it "definitely got me into the trouble".

Julie reminds her that this is the second time she was blindsided, and Britney says she tried to "be super paranoid" this time around. Having helped get out two of the supposed greatest players ever (Boogie and Janelle), the question is whether she proved what she meant to prove. Not really, she says, as she really wanted to win.

With her influence on Ian and Shane now finished, Britney is asked how they will do in the remaining weeks. Britney believes that Ian will do fine, but he needs to relax. As for Shane, though, he will just continue "follow the lead of...Danielle or Dan. He's very expendable, but he doesn't see that for himself".

After being reminded of her goodbye message to Boogie, we get to see those for Britney. Danielle is her typical nonsensical self, while Dan tries to explain his move. "What went down this week made me really stick to my guns and fight for myself." Shane just talks about his pink shirt, and Ian tells her she's "one of the best people I've ever met...this season's true beauty has been evicted from the house. I will get that hairy, orange beast."

So now we move on to tonight's HOH competition, and yes, it is an endurance. But there is a twist, as there was a vote as to whether the first person out would get a treat or punishment. Thankfully, punishment barely won...and the first to drop has to open a box. They're not told if it is a punishment or reward.

Tonight's contest is one of those hanging on a small platform as it spins around a spitting "sun". Yeah, this won't last long...which is proven when we come back from commercials to see that Joe is already down...followed by Jenn a minute later! That is it for tonight, though, outside of Julie's announcement that next week is ANOTHER double eviction!

What did you think of tonight's show? Are you happy with Britney's eviction? Or her speech and interview? Or the return of "Der Bergade"? Tell us what you think!

Wednesday
Aug292012

Big Brother #14, Episode 21 Recap

In football, the term "Hail Mary" refers to a desperation pass at the end of a game that has little chance of success. With nothing left to lose, the ball is heaved towards the end zone with the hope that somebody somehow grabs it for a miracle win.

The origin of the term is a sore spot in my sports-viewing life. Being a fan of Minnesota sports teams has never been easy. Outside of a couple of Twins World Series victories, championships are never seen in the state.
The Minnesota Vikings are the most snakebit team of the state. For most of their existence (but not recently), they have always been in the hunt at the end of the year. In particular, 1975 was the year that broke every fan's heart. They rolled to a league-best 14-2 record, and had the number three offense AND defense in the league.

Then came the dreaded Dallas Cowboys in the playoffs. The Vikings were ahead 14-10 with fourth down and little time on the clock. Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach threw the ball up for grabs, and after a blatant shove that was ignored by the ref, receiver Drew Pearson grabbed it and ran in for the winning score. When interviewed later that night, Staubach said "I closed my eyes and said a 'Hail Mary". The term still sickens those that remember that awful day.

Tonight you're going to see the Big Brother version of a Hail Mary; a last-ditch effort by a house guest that should NEVER EVER have worked. The combination of a well-executed plan and a dimwitted supporting cast, though, changed this player's entire game. In fact, THE focus of this season has now changed thanks to an entire house being played and outplayed.

This move will come a bit later in the show, though, as we have a few other activities to sit through. Like every Wednesday episode, we must start off with the reactions to the nominations of Dan and Danielle, who starts it off with her undecipherable gibberish. Dan talks about how he is now the official number one target, but he's hoping to talk Ian into using the veto that he had won. Frank is all cocky about how Dan has failed to get him out of the house, and that this is his one "big swing" to "knock out of the park". (Foreshadow alert!) Ian, though, isn't sure whether to stick with Frank or The Quack Pack.

That alliance is exactly the focus of conversation between Britney and Dan, who have come up with a way to save both nominees. "We still have the votes if only one is still up", says Dan. Britney heads right to Ian with this plan, although he doesn't seem too confident.

And with that we head RIGHT to selecting the players for the veto competition. Wow, that was quick. Frank pulls out Shane's name, while Danielle gets Britney and Dan has House Guest choice. He goes with "Jenn City". In the diary room, Dan yells that he has to throw the veto to either Britney or Shane to save both nominees...but "THAT'S NOT HAPPENING...The only person I trust in this game is myself!"

We now get a rare Jenn sighting, as she lines up an alliance with Frank. She has looked at the memory wall, and can see how just moving a couple of pieces can further both of them. "You're not here by yourself."

It's veto competition time, and it's called "Draw Something". A picture is show, and when they have figured out what it is, they are to buzz in. Each word, though, is also a clue to a punishment. To earn the points, they have to take the punishment...and there is NO helping each other.

We go through the usual "I have to win this" bullshit just in case you forgot how the Quack Pack can survive before we get going. The first work of art is worth two points, and Frank clicks in to answer "avocado". He must dye himself green to win this, which he obviously does. "Are you sure you want me out of here that bad", asks Dan.

The next prize is worth five points, and Dan correctly answers "hunger", which pisses off Britney. "This guy is super selfish." Dan must eat two of four items, but since he can "eat Chef Joe's cooking, this should be easy".

On the third picture, Jenn answers "clock", and she has 90 seconds to burn her clothes. "Death and destruction is my jam." The fourth picture is worth six points, and Britney guesses "shackle". She has to pick her partner, and she is now shackled to Danielle for 24 hours. Somehow Danielle takes this to mean that Britney wants to be beside her "every minute of every day". Um, no.

Britney is now in the lead, with Dan in second place. Round 5 is worth seven points, and Frank guesses "shower". He now has to take a chum shower for the next 24 hours. He is now in the lead, and furthers this lead by picking "carrot" for the next round. He has to wear a carrot costume for the rest of the week.

Next up is a "bench", and Frank again wins. He has to sit out the next eligible HOH, which he admits is scary but that he can't afford to lose. Dan now screams that he is "STARTING TO FEEL THE HEAT". Round eight is correctly guessed by Danielle, who has to let her fellow house guests splatter he with paint. Yes, they all enjoy this task.

We now have an eight-point round, and Dan guesses "trip". He must agree to a 24 hour trip to the "Solitary Dance Party", and now Britney is REALLY pissed. Yes, we must hear the Quack Pack story one more time.

Dan is now in second place behind Frank as we head into the final round that is worth eleven points. If Frank or Dan get this one, they win. Britney rings in, but doesn't know the answer. Frank tries to help her, but is caught and disqualified! Dan suddenly has a smile!

After commercials, we go right back to this final round, and now Dan is in the lead. Britney is "freaking out" because she will probably be his replacement nominee. The round is started over, but Britney doesn't answer in time. Jenn City rings in, and by agreeing to eat nothing but slop she beats Dan, who told her that she is safe, by a score of 14-13!

Dan now has to immediately head to isolation, where he says he has to come up with a plan. Meanwhile, Jenn and Frank hug it out for her victory. "I showed you", she says. "You're not alone in this game." She adds that taking slop for the summer "shows I am a player". They both talk about how this ensure Dan's eviction.

A dejected Dan is then shown heading into the storage room for a sad moment, complete with sad music and a teary-eyed diary room. Whatever. Frank comes by and says that he wants to talk to him, but he walks by him to enter the disco room. His plan is to just think for the whole time on how he can get out of this mess.

Even a serious episode like tonight has to have some filler, though, and we get it with the Britney/Danielle shackle segment. Never mind. Oh yeah, and Frank's chum baths.

Interestingly enough, they don't show the house attempting to communicate with Dan. Instead, we head right to the moment where his time frame is up, and everybody congratulating him. Wait, but something is wrong with him!!! He staggers out of the room, and Britney complains about the smell of the room. He heads into the lounge, where everybody babies him. (Unfortunately, they don't show "Nurse" Danielle attending to him.) He tells Britney that he wants to have a house meeting...and suddenly he is fine as the entire house is on the couch!

Cue the dramatic music as Dan welcomes them to his "Big Brother" funeral. Go back to Ash's recap of this from Sunday for everything he says, but to sum it up he says nothing but great things to everybody...but Danielle! He starts off by indicating that she is this year's Memphis, but that he was wrong. "In this game, you will never earn my trust back. You are dead to me."

Her jaw drops (god, I love this) but he will not talk game to her ever again. "This is the death of Dan the player." As he walks away, Danielle asks what was he talking about, but in the diary room he talks about his great master plan. Or is he really sick?

After a great shot of Danielle as we went in to the last commercial, we come back with that exact same shot. Jenn asks if she knew what he was talking about, but Britney and Shane both think that this is his great plan to save himself. YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT THINKING THAT, YOU DUMMIES!

Shane and Danielle head off into the bedroom so she can whimper...and whimper...and whimper. Meanwhile, Dan goes off to the HOH with Frank. It is time for step two, which is to "blow up the Quack Pack". He apologizes for Boogie, but says that he had no role in it. It was the Quack Pack, and that it was Ian who is the "ruthless" one. Yes, we get the "I kept taking heat for that kid" line. Dan then points out that the most dangerous player in the house is actually Britney, because NOBODY would put her up.

Dan then moves in to how the veto ceremony was supposed to work with the two vetoes taking down both Dan and Danielle. He adds that nobody would ever think that the two of them would ever work together. Since Jenn holds the veto, Frank offers to go see if he can convince her to use it on him. At the same time, Dan needs to go talk to Danielle. Frank is still weary, but Dan swears that everything he is saying is true.

Dan does head downstairs for "damage control" with Danielle, and tells her "I just saved us both. I had to." She hits him with a pillow and turns away from him, saying "you broke my heart. You humiliated me in front of the whole house. Dan, I would have gone home for you." Oh, bullshit. She complains that she should have been given a heads-up, but he NEEDED her to cry. Suddenly, she is smiling. Danielle asks who is the person that is going to go up, but warns her that she's not going to like what she hears.

Finally, he tells her that it is Britney, and that she will be safe "because your sympathy meter is through the roof. No one's going to touch you now." It all depends on Jenn, though.

Jenn is now in the HOH with Frank, who tells her about Ian's role as turncoat. Frank asks if she would be willing to use the veto to save Dan, but Jenn is worried about how that will make her a target. "Dan will keep you safe, I promise." Yeah, right.

It is now veto ceremony time, and both Ian and Jenn City have to go through the motions of staring at the memory wall. Ian, though, is not going to use his veto, but 24 hours after her win Jenn is reconsidering her plan to also not use it. In case you forgot what happened in the last fifteen minutes, Dan and Frank repeat everything for us.

The veto meeting begins, and as he stated, Ian does not use it. Jenn then talks about how this is a "game move", and takes down Dan! Britney and Ian's eyes light right up! Frank then gets up, calls out Ian, and says that since he can't be put up he is going to nominate his biggest ally. "Britney, pop a squat!"

As we head out, Britney is bawling like Danielle, but Ian promises to REALLY come after Frank. Yeah, right. Jenn City adds that "this is what you get when you underestimate your girl...boom!" Dan yells even louder than usual as he celebrates how his plan actually worked!!!

So that is it for tonight! What an episode! What did you think of it? Were you disappointed in what WASN'T shown, such as Danielle's nursing work or Dan's winking for the cameras? Let us know!

Sunday
Aug262012

Big Brother #14, Episode 20 Recap

Pandora. It’s not just a crappy online music service that plays nothing but the Captain Obvious tracks. Nope, it’s also a Grodner favorite that appears at least once every Big Brother season; quite often involving her favorite pet, Jessie. It’s become such a BB cliché that all this week the current cast was predicting that it was going to happen any day now.

Pandora’s Box would probably not be as criticized by Big Brother purists if it didn’t affect the outcome of the game. Hell, at this point we’d be happy if the ramifications were minor. Instead, what happens due to this silliness completely changes the show. Last year, Rachel was on her way out the door when she was suddenly rescued by one of Grodner’s tricks. She went on to win the season.

Tonight is the night that Pandora enters this season. Who will it help? Who will it hurt? Big Brother fans on twitter seem to be split between those who believe production is assisting Frank and those who think Dan is getting a bit of an edge. With Frank as the new HOH (spoiler alert!) and Dan being his primary target (another spoiler alert!), we may see tonight just who Grodner favors.

Before we get to Pandora, though, we have quite a bit of material to get through, especially since the double eviction show ended without a new HOH. We start off by going back to Boogie’s eviction, and Ian’s comments to him as he walked out the door. Ian says that he “respected and admired him so much that he couldn’t let him walk out there blindsided”. As he hugs Frank, Boogie whispers that Ian can’t be trusted. As he walks out, Ian’s last words to Boogie are “get to steppin’, buddy” (a reference to the All-Stars season).

With Boogie out the door, Frank begins needling Ian about not voting for him…but we jump ahead to Ian winning an HOH that he says he tried to throw. Well, you were up against Danielle in the final round. That doesn’t make it easy. “The Quack Pack needs to go after Frank, but I don’t want to be the one to have to do it”, he explains.

Dan pulls Ian into the lounge to give him a pep talk, and as they walk out Frank orders him back. “You gonna put me up.” Ian asks if he’s going to fuck him over if he doesn’t, but Frank seems to accept the bullshit he feeds him. As if that’s not enough, then Britney and Shane corner him with their demands. For the first time ever, I feel for this dweeb! Ian, though, wants to backdoor Frank instead of a straight up nomination.

He finally gets out of the room, but now it is Ashley who wants to talk to him. Unfortunately, all she can say is “I don’t know what to say”. Ugh. They hug and walk out, and now it is Joe’s turn! Ian does talk a bit tough to Joe, demanding a week from him for not being nominated.

Now we finally get to the noms, and he puts up Frank and Ash. Dan is more than pleased, and leaps in joy in the hallway. Frank, though, isn’t so happy and yells out that he’s a “puppet”. That means the POV is a “life or death situation” for Frank…and, of course, he wins. “Good decision, Ian!” Ian stands by his original idea of backdooring Frank, as Frank continues to storm around the house bitching.

Once again, Frank pulls Ian into the lounge area, and this time they say Joe is their target. “We got the votes, I think.” Frank does indeed use the veto on himself (obviously), and Ian puts up Joe. “Hop a squat, man.” Joe’s not worried, though, even as Frank yells that he deserves to go more than Ashley.

Joe versus Frank continues on, as Frank complains that Joe has done nothing so far in the game. Valid point, but that doesn’t stop Ashley from being evicted…which leads to more screaming from Joe. Ian is depressed about this event, and Frank knows that since he was the only vote for Ash that means everybody is against him.

Frank is still screaming at Ian, even as Britney attempts to butt in. “Please don’t make him cry.” Ugh, this is getting old. Blah blah blah blah blah! Thankfully, it is commercial time.

When we return, Ian is feeling sorry for himself. “I’m a shitty person, dude.” Dan attempts to cheer him up, and says that he will set him up with his sister. Ian, though, thinks he’s “going to burn in hell”.

Meanwhile, Frank grabs Shane and Danielle for a chat. Shane claims that he believed Ian was going to nominate him, but Frank says in the diary room that he needs to make some new friends. Ian and Britney then walk in, but Frank sends Ian out. He then apologizes to everybody “except for Dan”. He is to blame for everything, you know. He says that he wants to put up Dan and Joe if he wins HOH, but if they’re not with him he’ll have to put Shane and Britney up “because you’re the two strongest players”.

For some reason, Danielle begins bawling even though none of this was directed at her. She wants to talk to Frank alone, so Britney and Shane leave. She says she has nothing against Frank, but she can’t do anything against Dan. At the same time, Britney and Shane talk about possibly working with Frank, but she doesn’t want anything to do with that but may have “no choice”.

Britney then goes into the storage room with Frank to announce they are now down with him. She does want Frank out, but she knows she may have to “adjust her game with the ebb and flow of this house on a daily basis”. Frank just hopes that he will not once again be stabbed in the back.

It is now HOH comp time, and it is the Labyrinth ball game. There’s more than just the HOH up for grabs, though, as the winner also gets to pick the one Have-Not for the week. To play the game, they have to pull on two strings to move the ball around the labyrinth into the hole with the highest score.

Danielle goes first, and scores an 8. Frank gets a 5, while Shane gets a 17, Jenn a 6, Joe a 10, Britney a 7, and Dan narrowly misses a 20 but ends up with a one. They are now ranked, and go one-on-one against each other from the bottom to top seeds.

This first round is Dan versus Frank, and it is a race to get the ball around holes to the top. Dan’s ball drops out of the labyrinth, so he races to grab it to start over. Frank, though, is too far ahead and he wins.

Frank basically has to play the entire house, however, and he now goes against Jenn. This is an easy win, and he then faces off against Britney. Once again, he easily wins, and Frank says he’s gaining confidence. The next round is against Danielle…and you know how that turns out. Joe is the next victim, leaving it all up to Shane to save the day for the Quack Pack. After commercials, Frank gets the HOH by easily defeating Shane…and Dan is in trouble.

Dan’s bad week begins by Frank selecting him for the week’s Have-Not, his first in Big Brother history. Ian, however, realizes that he may have to do some sucking up since two people are actually nominated. Britney beats Ian to the kissup session, though, and Frank comes right out and says that he is putting up Dan and Danielle. Britney couldn’t be happier, and she says that she will vote to keep Danielle. They even make a final four deal.

It is Pandora time, and you can tell that even Frank knows that by the dumb grin on his face as he enters the HOH. Guess what? He does open the box…as does everybody in Big Brother history. Inside the room, is a bunch of dollar signs, and he has to open three cubes to win up to ten grand. His first choice is only for $1.05, and his second one is $7.11. The third one, though, is a big winner - $3,333.33!

Meanwhile, at the same time the doors open for the rest of the house. A card is read that states there is a second veto in the house, but they need fifty cents. They start searching around the backyard until suddenly balls start falling from the sky. Dan grabs a few balls, and attempts to snag the veto. He fails, but lies that he did indeed win it. Wait, I thought Saint Dan didn’t lie!

Ian wants the veto just as bad as Dan, but his first attempt is also a failure. Britney hears some coins around Joe’s foot, and the two of them fight over the ball with the coins. Britney wins this little battle, and she actually has the veto for a second before it drops. Dan, meanwhile, is getting a bit aggressive in this competition, pushing people out of the way and slamming doors. Ian comes back in, but decides to wait for another person to place the ball in a better spot. Finally, Ian does indeed win the veto!!!

Frank is finally let out of the HOH, and takes a look at the backyard. Frank claims he really doesn’t know what to do now that Ian has won this veto. They go off for a little chat, and, as expected, Britney closely follows. He wants to ensure that Ian will not use his veto on Dan. “Do what you want to do” is all Ian says to him. “Can we just chill for now?” Britney thinks he should be put up so that he HAS to use it on himself, but she also says that if he threatens to put up Britney in his place Ian probably wouldn’t use it to save Dan. In the diary room, Britney claims she’s saying this to ensure that the entire Quack Pack could survive the week. Hmmm, I don’t know about that.

Ian comes back into the room, and they tell him this new little threat. In the DR, though, Ian says that he is just going to do “what is best for me”. Frank is confused, but Ian says that he “just gets scared” whenever he has to make a move. True dat.

So we are already at nomination time, and the first key pulled is Jenn, followed by Ian, Joe, Britney, and Shane. Yes, Dan and Danielle are this week’s nominees. Frank dedicates the noms to Mike and Ash, and says that he can’t pass up his third chance at getting him, while Danielle is “just a victim of circumstance”.

The show ends with the usual tears, threats, and promises from all involved. What did you think of tonight’s show? Is this really the end of Saint Dan? Tell us what you think!

Thursday
Aug232012

Big Brother #14, Episode 19 Recap

We gather here tonight to say goodbye to a legend. Well, a self-proclaimed legend. A man whose third tour of Big Brother duty will end tonight, thanks to a hammock-shaking dweeb who took to heart the lessons of his coach.

That's right - after tonight there is no more Chilltown II. No more badly scripted joint diary room cliches. No more tween outfits that look silly on any adult, let alone one in his early 40's. Mike "Boogie" Malin will be making his final exit tonight, and it is unlikely that we will ever seen him again outside of this season's finale.

But that's not all we'll see tonight, as this is a double eviction show. Or Fast Forward, or whatever cutesy name Grodner has Chen proclaim this annual event. Besides Boogie's eviction, there will be an HOH comp, nominations, a veto comp/meeting, and a second person leaving the house. One more HOH competition will probably close the show, although the results will likely not be known until the feeds come back on.

Before we get to all that, we do have one segment designed to make us believe that Boogie may not be going. Like last night's episode, there is actually a plethora of usable footage, and it is too bad that all of this is going to be summed up in a five minute segment. For more on what actually happened, be sure to tune in to this week's Big Brother Gossip Show.

Back to tonight's show, and the opening segment that shows Shane "shocking" the house with by putting up Jenn as his replacement nominee. Both Jenn and Boogie are clearly fuming as Dan offers a handshake after the ceremony, but Boogie tells him to "save it". Jenn admits to generally just laying back (obviously), but she is now "going to be a force to be reckoned with".

Frank, meanwhile, admits that he's happy to be off the block, but is pissed that Boogie may be leaving. He joins Boogie in the bedroom, where he is still going off on Dan's handshake attempt. Ian then wanders in the room, and says that it is "not going to be an easy decision" to choose between his two teammates. Boogie is pissed, but Ian immediately defuses it. "I have to make sure...that he doesn't find out that I'm working against him", he explains in the diary room. (By the way, it is already amazing how much material they're not using.)

Dan now wanders into the living room and kitchen, but neither Boogie or Jenn even acknowledge him. Britney heads into the lounge to gossip with Ashley and Danielle about how uncomfortable it all feels. Boogie then starts poking at Shane, who does his usual runaround, incomplete sentences, which causes Frank to say "stuff your sorries in a sack, man". Boogie adds that he just "looks like Dan's bitch right now". The girls in the other room are shocked because Boogie is "terrorizing the house".

The conversation goes back and forth, while Dan lays in the living room reading the Bible. We just ahead a few minutes, and Boogie is now sitting next to Dan throwing some more wisecracks. Jenn then enters the room, and she begins participating. Oh, in case you forgot, Dan has to remind us in the diary room that he's taking all this heat for Ian. Boogie adds that the others should remember that if Dan makes the final three he'll probably throw that last competition so he won't have to make that fatal decision.

We jump ahead to Jenn and Ian in the bedroom, and she is still reeling about being nominated. "They're going to have meet a new Jenn City, and she's just arrived". The footage jumps to her interrogating the rest of the house, saying how she's a "wild card" that is going to "go out kamikaze style". Ian, though, points out in the diary room that since she's just a pawn she needs to chill out.

So that's it for the entire first three days of the week, as we go right to the announcement that tonight is a double eviction (which they already know, btw). The second evictee will also be the first to enter the jury.

It is final plea time, and Jenn goes first with a pleasant enough speech that asks them to vote to "keep your trusted and loyal homie, Jenn City". Boogie starts off by thanking his business partner and his child, and then goes right to pleading Joe for his vote. For some reason, he ends with a shoutout to the New England Patriots.

Voting begins with silly Ashley, who votes to evict Jenn. Britney is the second vote, and as expected she votes to evict Boogie. Joe then enters, and Boogies' plea doesn't work as he votes to evict Boogie. Frank then ties it by voting against Jenn, but Dan, Ian, and Danielle all vote against Boogie. Boggie is out by a 5-2 vote!

Julie announces the results,, and Boogie calmly says goodbye. Ian apologizes, and hands him what appears to be sunglasses. When he hugs Frank, he loudly tells him that Ian is not to be trusted. "I know that already", Frank replies.

Boogie departs, and Julie starts off by asking what Ian told him. "He said that I will be seeing some things that I won't like. Apparently, I didn't get his vote. He referenced something I said to an evicted house guest during All-Stars, which was 'get to steppin', and he said it with a bit of conviction in his voice. He might be playing for the other side."

Boogie adds that he is pretty shocked by this, and that no one is to be trusted. He loves the kid, but if "he did me wrong, it is just going to reflect on him". The final goodbyes start off with silliness from Frank, but Britney imitates the Chilltown phone gimmick. "Oh hey Janelle, Boogie is not here." That's the Britney I love! Dan says that he has a high respect for him, and that he wanted to work with him. It wasn't him that "ratted you out". No, it was Ian, who talks about how he has been watching him since he was ten. While he does have "respect and admiration for how you played this game", he admits to the Quack Pack alliance. "This week, I masterminded your demise. I learned from one of the best, and that is why you're sitting with Julie right now." Boogie claps for him, and tips his hat. "The Quack Pack? Ohmigod!"

It's now time for the HOH competition, and it is a "Before/After" question competition. Julie reads off an event, and they have to pick if it happened before or after the second one she reads. The first question is about the lemon/limes and the zingbot, and Ashley is immediately out (shocker!). Willie's expulsion and Janelle's first coach win is the next question, and now Joe, Dan, and Jenn are out. The third question is the breaking news bulletins versus Jojo hosting a competition, and Frank screws up and is out! It's the game reset versus candy canes, and they all pick "before". The fifth question is about Wil's speech, and now Britney is out.

It is between Danielle and Ian for the tie-breaker. Julie asks how many seconds it took for the lime team to win. Danielle guesses 1200, while Ian goes for 1000. Ian is the new HOH!

Everybody rushes in as we go to commercials, and when we return Ian is shown making a one-week deal with Joe. Julie calls for them to gather in the house, and a nervous Ian puts up Frank and Ashley. "I'm really sorry, guys."

After yet another commercial, it is time for the veto competition. It is basically this year's version of the infamous comp from last year that saw Jeff laughingly screw up. They have to find clovers in a big pit of balls. After two found clovers, they get to grab the veto.

Ian is the first with a clover, followed by Frank and Joe. Danielle and Shane then both find one, but suddenly Frank finds the second one AND the veto. He has saved himself once again!

Shockingly, Frank does indeed use the veto after we had to endure him wondering about Ian's next move with Shane and Britney. Ian replaces him with Joe ("pop a squat").

CBS is clearly paying a lot of bills tonight, as we have yet ANOTHER commercial break before the next round of final pleas and voting. Ashley goes first, and she is obviously on Xanax. She is slurring her words as she babbles about how she has been underestimated. Seriously, I can't understand her. Julie finally shuts her up. Joe then gets up and doesn't speak. It's all hand movements. Yeah, you're really funny.

Jenn is the first vote, and she votes to evict Ashley, as does Shane and Britney. Frank, though, votes against the "terrible chef", but Danielle seals the fate by voting against Ashley. For the record, Dan also votes against Ashley. What a waste of a double eviction night! Ashley meanders through her hugs and out the door. Just awful.

Before the dumb interview, we get a peak in the house as Frank is wandering around complaining about everybody. Julie interviews Ashley, but I have no idea what she is saying. Thankfully, it's a short interview...and the show is over.

Your thoughts? Are you happy Boogie is gone? Or that Frank is still there? Most importantly, what types of meds is Ashley on? Let us know!

Page 1 ... 7 8 9 10 11 ... 24 Next 5 Entries »