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Thursday
Jul312014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 17 Recap

Welcome to what could be an extremely fun eviction episode. Why am I not my usual glum self? It’s simple. The Beastmode Douchebag is bound to be extremely entertaining. Without spoiling what is going to happen, he’s still completely clueless as to what is going to happen, even though his comrades have informed him of their plans. He’s going to explode! Or at the very least, he’s destined to say something stupid, or wear something ridiculous. There was even a promise that he’d interrupt Julie with a special commentary directed at Amber, although he was sadly told by production that this won’t happen.

Let’s not waste any time. We left off last night with Amber’s replacement of Victoria as a nominee, along with a hilarious rant from Zach. It’s the moment after Zach’s speech, and Amber refuses to talk to Frankie as she walks away. “You planned that. You all planned that.” She says in the diary room that she’s not going to let Zach get “under my skin”. She runs into Christine while walking into the bathroom, and she says “welcome to the club of Zach yelling at you”.

The camera switches back to the living room, and Hayden whispers to Jocasta that she won’t be going home this week. Victoria also tells her that she has nothing to worry about as tears begin to fall, but “in the house you never know”.

Caleb is now seen going into the have-not room to lay down, and he explains how the Amber nomination is just to “scare her. It’s to say ‘hey, you’re not always safe in this game’”. He continues to claim that he’s done “so much for this one person, and at the end of the day (ugh) we don’t want you to go home but we’re going to see how you react.”

Amber now walks outside, where Frankie, Christine, and Nicole are laying out in the sun. He apologizes to Amber, and she says she’s mad at Zach. “Why couldn’t he go up?” Christine and Nicole then ges up to leave, and she asks if she was put up for “personal reasons”. Frankie replies that it was because of what Caleb said about her. In the diary room, Frankie claims that he must act like he really doesn’t know, and tells her that she needs to ask Caleb. “You know how passionate Caleb can be.”

She walks back into the house, and finds Caleb reading the Bible. “Do you have something to say”, she asks. She tells him she’s heard that going on the block was his doing, and he admits to it. She wants to know why, and he reads from the Bible. “It’s so perfect.” Amber has no interest, but he says it’s about trust. He then complains that she’s been hanging out with Nicole, Victoria, “and all the other people instead of us.”

Amber can’t believe this. “You act like I’m aligned with someone else besides you guys. All of this that I’m hearing is like one big slap in teh face.” She then storms out of the room.

We now see Stalker Caleb staring at Amber through the patio door. He says he believes he may have made a mistake. Derrick then walks in and almost plows into the non-moving goof. Amber then walks in, and he asks if they can talk “without you walking off”.

They head back into the room, and he apologizes. “The one person I wanted to make a promise to and keep it in the house is you”. “Well, you just broke it”, she replies. He admits that he brought it up, and “they all said it was a good idea”. Meaning who, she replies. “The whole alliance”, says the dummy. She’s pissed with the news that they all knew. “I think I did everything wrong by helping others and not helping myself.” She tells Caleb she would never put him on the block.

Now Caleb heads up to the HOH, where Frankie is doign calisthenics. “Amber does nt deserve to be where she is, and I feel like such a sleazeball. It was a stupid decision.” Frankie replies that he thought it was a great idea when it was brought to him, and adds in the diary room that he’ll happily let Caleb take all the blame. “if she goes home, I’ll feel like the biggest asshole”, Frankie says with over-dramatic flair before hugging him. “I just wanted to do what was good for you when I saw you were wounded and hurt.” Of course, Frankie has to make a Brokeback Mountain joke about Caleb crying.

We move on to Amber being in the HOH with a number of people, and Zach asks her if she likes Caleb. She begins to tear up, and then walks out the door. She goes off into one of the rooms, and Christine comes in to comfort her. She explains how she feels pressure and she doesn’t like Caleb “like that..(and) if I’m here I have every right to put him up I want to”. Christine nods, but admits in the diary room that she’s loving this information. “We should keep her, and let her get Caleb out.”

She runs right to Zach, Derrick, and Frankie with this information. She wants to keep Amber, but Frankie thinks she’s “very dangerous”. He is still “elated”, though, as he can use this to “put the nail in Amber’s coffin”. His plan is to let Caleb know about this so that he’ll turn against her (again).

The boys, including Cody, now talk to Caleb in the HOH. Caleb wants to come to an agreement to keep Amber, and Zach asks if he believes everythng she says. Frankie then drops the bombshell that Caleb is now her target because “you’re ruining her game”. Uh oh! He doesn’t see that. “I’ve done nothing but help her game!” Zach is inspired by this turn of events, and eggs Caleb on (once again). Caleb gets up, and pushes Frankie aside when he attempts to keep him in the room. They all pretend to want him to stay, but celebrate as he storms out.

Dressed in a silly onesie and Amber’s bunny slippers, Caleb stomps down the stairs. He takes a seat in the living room, shocked by what he heard. “I feel like I got one of the biggest knives in my back,, and a dagger in my heart.” He takes off the slippers and tosses them aside as we head to commericals.

We return to Julie addressing the house. She offers condolences to Derrick for the loss of his grandfather, and then turns to Zach for his outbursts. He says “I can never keep my mouth shut. I want to reiterate the fact that all of you people in the room - I hate every one of you with every ounce of my body. It is what it is.”

Nicole is now asked about when Zach went off on her. She whines that she was shocked, “but I actually take it as a compliment because I like Fruit Loops and a dingus is adorably quirky”. Caleb is then asked a viewer question about the bunny slippers and the scarves. “Is this the way you dress at home?” He replies that it is. “They’re Amber’s slippers, and they fit good on my feet. I’ve been a have-not for two solid weeks (actually, no), and it’s cold so that’s where the scarves come out. Every once in awhile I like to be metro, you know. I”m a cowboy, but I throw some metro every once in awhile. I think Frankie is rubbing off on me.”

Julie then brings up the latest Team America mission that I forgot to report on last night. Well, I didn’t forget. I ignored it. This time, they have to vote against the majority of the house, and then blame two others. Derrick, who read the card, isn’t real happy with this mission because “it could put our long term games in jeopardy”.

Derrick goes to wake up Donny, but tells both Frankie and Donny separately. Derrick has a plan, but Donny’s not crazy about this plan. “It’s a character I don’t have inside the house, and I definitely don’t have it outside the house. These little young, smart people would know. I think it would blow my game.”  

Donny gives the news to the other two members that he doesn’t want to do it, but Frankie says they could claim that it was Zach that did it and everybody would believe it. Donny has no problems with the vote, but thinks the confronting part would be too out of character. “I chose to come play this game as Donny Thompson. I didn’t come across the country to have my game blown up.”

After commercials, it’s final plea time. Amber goes first, and thanks her family. She thinks Jocasta is a “wonderful woman”. She adds that she loves everybody, and “I think I’ve played a very, very honest and loyal game...I think it would benefit your game if I stayed in the house”.Notice Jocasta is not impressed!

Jocasta then thanks God and her family before saying that she is “so trustworthy”, and that she prays for all of them. “God bless you too, Julie”.

Voting now starts with Hayden, who votes to evict Amber, as does Victoria, Donny (sorry America, too risky), and Derrick before commercials. When we return, Zach votes against Amber, as does Caleb, Christine, Cody, and Nicole. Yes, it’s another boring unanimous vote.

Julie gives the house the news, and it’s pretty uneventful. She hugs a few people, accidnetally knocks into Zach, says she loves everybody, and heads out.

Wait, no fireworks from Caleb? He’s perfectly calm, and after Zach says she was “shocked” he replies that it’s what happens “when you bit the hand that feeds you”. Wait, what?

The interview begins with Julie asking who she feels most betrayed by with the unanimous vote. She says she doesn’t really know, as “I’ve played a very honest and loyal game”. She says it was probably Caleb, though, but “I’m sorry that I was not interested in him and I’m not going to pretend to be to win some money”.

Julie presses, asking if she’s shocked she didn’t get any votes. Amber replies that not really, and she thinks they all believe she was a flip-flopper even though she had no other alliance. She’d also like to see some of the girls start kicking out some of the guys. Julie follows it up about how the girls wouldn’t align with her to do that, but Amber had no answer to it. She also had no desire to blow up anybody’s game.

Caleb is then brought up (“oh my goodness”), and Amber agrees that it did “really affect my game...he has my bunny slippers still. Can I please get them back?” Flirting with Cody is also brought up, but Amber says he was like a brother to her. She now says that maybe his betrayal is what hurts her the most.

The goodbye messages are now shown, starting with Zach. “I’m extremely happy that you’re gone. I know you were coming after me, and this is better for my game. I don’t regret anything I said at the veto meeting. I just wish that I had more time to ether you even more.”

Christine then says that she loved being in the Bomb Squad with her, and outs the Detonators. “Honestly, Caleb’s next.” Donny then tells her that she was somebody “I relate to more than anybody else in the house. You’re a little taste of home in the way you talk and the way you carry yourself.”

Now here’s the moment we were waiting for. Caleb in his dumb onesie with the hood up telling her “at the end of the day, Amber Bamber, I’m still the king of this house, and the slipper just don’t fit you anymore. my Queen.” Holy shit, he actually put his stupid crown as he said that line! Before she heads out, Julie asks her if she’ll be Caleb’s date for the finale. “No!!!”

With Amber now gone, it’s time for the HOH competition. Julie explains that yesterday, the house got to watch videos from the house, and we’re shown footage of that happening. Yes, we get to watch videos of them watching videos. Scintillating, right? It’s even worse when Nicole’s screeching voice describes what they were seeing.

As expected, it’s an “A/B” competition called “Getting Loopy”. Ok, it’s actually “True/False”. Either way, it’s questions. Everybody gets the first question correct, but Jocasta is out in the second round. (Of course.) They’re all right on the third, fourth, and fifth questions, but Victoria, Derrick and Christine are out on the next one. They’re all correct for four more questions, but Cody is then eliminated. Again, they all get the next question correct, but they have now run out of time. Wait, what?

After commercials, Julie runs through the schedule once again. Why not ask a question here? That’s it? Come on. I have a feeling it was more of a factor of running out of questions rather than running out of time.

Well, I’m not going to spoil who actually wins it on the live feeds. You’ll have to wait for Ash’s recap!

I’m actually a bit underwhelmed tonight. Just like Devin three weeks ago, Caleb failed to live up to expectations. I wanted dramatics! I wanted screaming! Outside of his crown stunt, he was boring! What did you think?

 

 

Thursday
Jul242014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 14 Recap

At first glance, this should have been an ordinary episode. The question of who was going to be evicted was decided last Saturday when the veto competition occurred, outside of a moment or two where Cody questioned his decision on a replacement nominee (as shown last night).

Then out of the blue came big news out of the house. Frankie’s grandfather died, and last night he was given the news in the form of a letter. This created an entire evening of grieving and remembrance, culminating in a bizarre commercial-free half-hour of Frankie addressing the cameras on TVGN’s Big Brother After Dark.

Obviously, this news is going to be covered on tonight’s show, but to what extent? Will it be told in a traditional segment of house happenings, or will Julie also interview him? I have mixed feelings on this topic, which you’ll hear on this weekend’s Big Brother Gossip Show.

Until then, let’s get to the start of the broadcast with the reactions to Donny going on the block in place of Victoria. Who? Donny is upset that he was put up after being promised safety, but “you don’t take anybody’s word for what they say”. Brittany tells him that he “was the only person I was hoping wouldn’t be sitting by my side”. He responds with a joke that loses its translation when printed here, as most of Donny’s jokes tend to be. Brit says it sucks to be nominated next to him, as he’s been by her side through the whole game. She doesn’t want to campaign against him.

Cody is now shown upstairs being a pussy. He’s mad at himself and paces the HOH. Donny “doesn’t deserve to be on the block”, he says. He starts breathing heavy, and Cody hopes this “doesn’t come around to bite me on the butt”. He then heads outside, and Frankie and others tell him it’s the smartest move he could make. “I feel like such a fuckign bitch”, he says.

Frankie then runs after Donny to ask him if he’s ok, and tells him that he has his vote to stay. “We think it’s going to be unanimous for you, honestly.” Donny says he appreciates that.

Derrick then heads in to talk to Donny, and tells him that he’s safe. Donny knows that Cody has people directing him, and thinks Derrick is the “kingpin. I hope I’m wrong.” Cody also talks to him, acknowledging that he knows Donny is going to be mad. He tells him that this is the only way to ensure Brit goes home, but Donny says he was “looking at it another way. You have this other big alliance that you like, and you do like me, but you were willing to risk me.” Cody doesn’t respond to that little line of questioning, but does tell him that he thinks it will be a unanimous vote. Donny’s not convinced. “Pawns do go home.”

It’s now time for Brit to campaign, and she starts with Caleb because “he has a big influence on a lot of the other house guests”. She butters him up by telling him that, and adds that Donny is actually a bigger threat. The “deserve” line also comes up, and Caleb says that Brit staying would be better for him. “If you’re not coming for me, why would I not?”

Caleb is then upstairs complaining that it’s not right that Victoria is going to last longer than Brittany. She’s fought for her life, after all, and if Donny wins the next HOH he’s going to put up two of them. “We have to protect that.” Silly Caleb still believes the Bomb Squad exists. Derrick plays up to it, and says that maybe they should all evict Donny. Silly boys.

Now we get the Frankie segment. Julie introduces it, and we hear Frankie being called to the diary room. He’s give the letter from hsi family, and breaks down in tears. He comes back out to the living room and announces that his grandfather has died. The entire house comes down, and Brittany reads his letter to the house. He then talks about the man, and laughs at how the letter said that grandpa didn’t understand how the show worked. He also talks about how accepting he was of him coming out, and they all end up in a group hug. That was surprisingly low-key.

A moment of silence leads into commercials, and Julie addresses the house when we return. She offers condolences to Frankie, and then asks Caleb about not taking the veto. He says that he has “stuff at home that I have to pay”, and felt safe this week. Zach is asked what his reaction was, and he says that he was just happy that nobody took his trip to Germany away from him. Cody is asked what the hardest part of the week was, and he says it was putting up a replacement nominee.

Julie then announces that Have-Nots are back this week, and the four are the “laziest players in the game” judged by their Fitbits. “Amber, how do you think you did this week?” She thinks her cleaning helped her pad her stats. Christine is asked who is definitely a Have-Not, and she says “honestly, probably Zach”. Julie announces the bottom four, which are Nicole, Caleb, Christine, and Derrick. She reminds them that if they become HOH, they won’t be a Have-Not.

Oh lord, we have another Nicole/Hayden segment. Anybody that reads these recaps know my feelings on this idiocy, so I’ll just be quiet here. The families are also brought in for this segment, and it’s a complete bore.

More adverts and we’re at the final pleas. Brittany goes first, and she just babbles about “proving herself”. She thinks that the soccer punishment was proof of this, and pleads for “one more chance”. Donny then thanks God for the opportunity to “play this game I love”, and thanks his family. To the rest of the cast, he says “there’s a special place in my heart for each and every one of you. God bless  you all, and God bless America”.

Voting then starts with Jocasta, who votes to evict Brittany, as does Nicole, Hayden, and Amber before we head to commercials. After the show comes back, the votes still go against Brit. Derrick goes first with his vote, followed by Caleb, Christine, Victoria (who?), Zach, and Frankie. Yep, it’s unanimous. Snore.

As always, Julie then announces the vote, and Brit mouths “wow” before slowly heading towards the door. “Don’t trust Zach”, she tells Jocasta.

After the awkward stare at the memory board moment, Julie starts the interview by asking about the vote count. Brit says she was kind of expecting it, because too many people don’t vote for their own best interests. People like Caleb control the house, and the girls are weak players, in her eyes. Julie then asks why she was such a target. “It was easier to put up the same people, as there weren’t targets on their back.”

The soccer comp is then brought up, to cheers from the crowd, and Brit says her feet are now “disgusting. It looks like I have a plum underneath my toenail.”

The goodbye messages are then played. Zach says it was better for his game to see her go. “We had become kind of friends, but if I never see you again I don’t really care.” Jocasta says it was a tough choice, but she had to be loyal to Donny for saving her. Hayden says she was too “unpredictable”. Donny says that he hopes she is seeing this video, as there “are only two choices - me and you”. He says she’s “been dealt a bad hand in this game. I’m going ot miss our little ice cream dates”. Julie then asks if she’s happy to be gone, and Brit starts crying about being away from her kids. They are then brought on stage, with one carrying a soccer ball. Hmmm, I don’t think I’ve seen this happen before. I’m not sure I’m happy with this warm and fuzzy version of Big Brother.

Ok then, it’s time for the HOH competition. It’s a one on one competition, where a “country” song will describe a competition. The first to pick whether it’s a HOH, BOB, of POV stays in the game. An incorrect answer also evicts them, and if neither answer they’re both out. They do this dumb comp every year. Come on, Big Brother. Let’s show some originality.

First up is Christine versus Hayden, and Christine correctly picks HOH. She chooses Donny and Jocasta to be the next up, and Donny is right on with BOB. He picks Frankie and Caleb, and the Frankie beats the beast mode moron with BOB. Frankie has Amber and Victoria (who?) go against each other, and Amber is right on with POV.

Donny and Derrick then go head to head, and Derrick moves on with a HOH answer. Zach and Nicole are then selected, and Zach is correct with POV. He chooses Amber and Christine to go up next, and Christine beats her with BOB. Frankie and Derrick then go up, and Derrick is heard saying “you want to see your grandfather?” He steps back and lets Frankie pick HOH. He is now the first HOH, and Christine and Zach are up to find out who is the second one. Zach picks BOB, and wins! Frankie and Zach are the new HOH’s!

Ok, time for a little bitching here. Last night, after Frankie got his letter, most of the house decided to throw tonight’s HOH in order for Frankie to get pictures of his grandfather. It’s clear long before Derrick’s lay down that the various pairs were decided to ensure that indeed happens. This is silliness, in my opinion. None of these people deserve to win this season. This is no longer the cutthroat Big Brother I’ve loved for over a decade. It’s a farce, with a cast that’s too chickenshit to do anything that shows any type of true gameplay.

At least Julie questions Derrick about this move, but we get nothing but rainbows and lollipops in return. Ugh. Frankie then breaks down into tears as we head to credits.

There’s one more piece of silliness before we sign off. Julie has to announce the latest Team America (Fuck Yeah!) garbage, and this time they have to get two people to argue at the nominations or the veto meeting. Who cares?

I’m sorry I’m so negative, but this is turning into my least favorite season ever. I’m trying to remain positive, but it’s next to impossible. What do you think? Are you disappointed? What did you think of the house throwing that comp? Tell me what you think!

 

 

Saturday
Jul192014

Big Brother Gossip Show #405: Victor Victoria

What started off as a boring week turned into quite an intriguing weekend. Tonight's show discusses it all, including the shocking (and I mean shocking) victory by Victoria in the veto competition. Unfortunately, we were missing the talented Colette due to illness, but Mike and I did our best to provide all of the week's pertinent info from the week.

Grab this from the usual online sources, or...

CLICK HERE TO DIRECTLY STREAM/DOWNLOAD THE SHOW!!!

Thanks to Mike for helping me out tonight, and for Ash with her hard work in providing the clips. And, most importantly, get well soon, Colette!!!

 

Thursday
Jul172014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 11 Recap

After last night’s experiment with “positive blogging”, I’m ready to go back to my patented mode of snark and whine. Be very afraid, my friends, as I clearly have built up a lot of complaints to share.

Before the show begins, though, let me announce a special drinking game that I announced on twitter last night. With Devin on the block, and a 90% certainty of being evicted, my plan is guaranteed to get you hammered in less than ten minutes. In fact, keep this episode on your DVR for future use!

Here’s how it works. Between the time that Devin gives his final plea to the house up until the conclusion of his interview with Julie Chen, take a drink anytime he says the word “daughter”. I guarantee that he’ll say it at least 20 times, so you should be good and plastered before the HOH competition.

I’m actually kind of sad to see him go tonight. I hate the man. Hate, hate, hate. He’s a clown. But this season is so boring that the only current possibility of fireworks comes from the failed minor leaguer. Sure, there’s also the running Amber/Caleb controversy, but that has moved from entertaining to almost criminal. Caleb needs some serious help, and his attitude towards women is the most disappointing aspect of this season.

See what I mean about having plenty of bile to share? There’s bound to be more, as I haven’t even mentioned the two biggest wastes of spaces in the house. I’ll let you all guess who I’m talking about here.

Ok, let’s get going with tonight’s broadcast, and the replacement of Jocasta (zzzzz) with Devin as nominee. A tearful Jocasta and Donny hug, and pose with the veto necklace. Donny says it was a “nobrainer” because “she’s a close friend in the house, (and) she was sick and couldn’t fight for herself. I felt like it was my duty to fight for her.” Jocasta replies with “Praise God”.

Caleb hugs Jocasta and admits it was risky for him to volunteer to go up, but it Devin goes home it could be his “biggest move in the house”. If it doesn’t work, though, it will be “the dumbest move in Big Brother history. At this point, it’s all in the house guests hands.” Nice reading of the cue cards, Caleb.

Devin also works at reading the cue cards to make us believe he still has a shot of survival. For those that don’t watch the live feeds, he doesn’t. This entire segment is bullshit. The moment that Devin was put up, it was clear that he was going home. There was very little talk of saving him, and Devin only made a token effort to campaign. All of this is for the sake of TV.

Jocasta is still crying, and she tearfully thanks Donny and says in the diary room that she hopes to repay the favor. “I’m so happy.”

We now see Amber crawl into bed in the Have-not room, and Caleb gets up and puts a blanket over her. She gets up a bit later and walks out of the room, and Caleb puts down another blanket on her bed. “The things you do for people when you like them”, he tells Hayden, who is sleeping on the next bed. “I put myself on the block. I give up my only two covers I got. I think at the end of the day, I’ll win a date with her.” Caleb rolls over, and Hayden looks up at the camera and says, “what?” We’re all thinking the same thing, hippie boy.

Who the hell is this girl? The next day, Donny and Cody are talking about Caleb. “He’s proven to not really be a competitor like he says he is”, complains Cody. “His game is so blurred by her that he doens’t make proper decision.” Donny agrees that putting himself on the block was a stupid move. Cody adds in the diary room that he thinks he may be able to conjure up the votes to eliminate Caleb. (Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. He barely made this attempt.) The conversation continues as he tells Donny that this would be a good time to get rid of him. Donny does agree, and adds in the diary room that he’ll do anything for her. “If she wants someone out, he’ll back her. If she gets put on the block, he’ll protect her.”

A bunch of boys are now playing pool, and Victoria comes out in a butt-revealing bikini. They all holler at her “what’s your name”, but they’re not kidding. “Seriously, what’s your name?” asks Hayden in the diary room.

Amber and Cody are now talking in the have-not room. He’s even rubbing her knee as they talk about being friends. “I’ve been waiting for you to do this.” Once again, Caleb is “creeping around” them as they talk, and Cody is getting annoyed.

Cody is now playing pool with Derrick, and tells him about how annoyed he’s getting by these actions. Derrick claims to think that Caleb is starting to become a “big liability”, and Zach joins in the conversation. “Caleb hates you...because Amber likes you.” Zach says this threesome could possibly hurt his game, and once again we’re led to believe it’s possible that Caleb is going home. HE’S NOT!!!

Ugh, another cutesy segment with Hayden and Nicole, as they cuddle in the bedroom. Seriously, I’m getting sick of this nightly segment. Let’s move on as they continue to talk about kissing. Just do it and get it over with. They can’t, though, as Victoria walks in.

Now Devin is talking about the Miami Heat with Devin, and we get our first “daughter” of the night. I guess this is Devin’s mode of survival - bore people with talk about his kid. Oh, and his addictions, since he also talks about rehab. Cody tells us in the diary room that he is starting to like Devin, and that he just got lost in the early days of the game.

Cody moves on to talk to Zach about Devin, and says he had a dream about Caleb going home. “Do we send Caleb home?” Zach says that this may be a great idea, and to make it seem possible we see him talk to Frankie about that very idea. “It’s a good move. He’s letting a girl cloud his judgment.” Frankie moves on to talk to Christine about this possibility, and ends up asking Derrick about doing this. Derrick asks where this idea came from? “The move is in motion”, replies Frankie. Derrick doesn’t seem to think this is a bad idea either.

Come on, CBS. You literally took every conversation about evicting Caleb over a four day period and made it look like it was going to happen. This is creative editing; even more so than usual from this network.

After commercials, we get to meet Donny’s family. Unfortunately, it’s hosted by awful Jeff Schroeder, so I’m not really paying attention. Too bad, as they seem fascinating, especially as they laugh at Caleb (just like the rest of America). Ok, I did actually watch, as the entire family all tear up while they watch highlights.

Ok, it’s now time for Julie to talk to the house. Guess who she goes to first? Yes, Nicole and her stupid frog costume. Jocasta is asked how she’s feeling, and she says much better. She’s also asked about Donny saving her with the veto, and she says that it was great for her since she felt so down. Oh yeah, and there are lots of “praise Jesus”. Zach is then asked about living with so many people, and he replies that he hates them all. Hayden is asked what is the worst part of being a have-not, and he says nothing. “I love it. Is Survivor still hiring.” Julie then announces that there will be no have-nots this week, and they all cheer until she adds “expect the unexpected”. After signing off, she explains that the Fitbit stats will determine the next group. The lazy asses will be punished!

It’s now time to see who (Devin) goes home. Caleb gets to make the first final plea, and he thanks God and his family. He babbles about him and Devin being beasts, and the toughest competitors (despite Donny’s lead in comp wins), but he’s not a “liar or cheater”. He repeats “at the end of the day” a few times, and, of course, we get a couple more “beast mode cowboy” silliness.

Devin then stands up and says he’s had some “highs and lows in the game”. He asks the house if they’d rather play with somebody who “made a final two pact with Amber, and has proven he will do whatever it takes to protect her, including nominating himself for eviction. Or would you rather have somebody like me who is willing to admit his faults (and) right his wrongs, even if that means using a veto on somebody he’s nominated.” He admits that Caleb is a physical beast, but “I’m a physical and mental monster. I would carry any one of you down to the finals.” Wow, that was a fantastic plea! Great job, even though it won’t work.

Voting now begins with Jocasta, who votes to evict Devin, as does Donny, Nicole, and Hayden. Time for more commercials before Zach, Cody, Victoria (who?), Frankie, Amber, Christine, and Brittany. Yes, it’s unanimous, and proof that the entire ten minutes we saw earlier was a waste of time. There was never a real move to save Devin.

Julie announces the vote to the house, and Devin tucks in his shirt before hugging the house. Once he’s gone, though, they’re not as quiet about celebrating as in past weeks. In fact, they barely look at the memory wall. Julie asks what he was handed as he walked out the door, and it tunes out Brittany made him a tin foil heart. Ugh. “But she didn’t give you a vote”, replies Julie, but Devin says he wasn’t surprised. “It’s been proven in the past that people who play hard tend to go early.”

Julie moves on to the demise of the Bomb Squad, and he admits to feeling paranoid while in the HOH room. The side moves that didn’t include him made him feel like they were turning against him, so he “decided to put some little (targets) on everybody else”. Julie follows up by asking about his daughter watching, which leads to silliness about honesty and integrity. Come on, Devin. Julie moves on to talk about Donny, and the various things that people have theorized about him. Devin still wonders about that, and is surprised to find out that he really is a groundskeeper.

The final pleas end the segment, and Jocasta says it’s great that he gets to see his daughter. Caleb says he’s a great guy, but put his friends in danger. Zach says he’s possibly the worst player in history “because your social game was awful”. Ha! Donny talks about how he “done him wrong the first week”, but wants him to have fun with his daughter. That’s it for Devin!

Julie jumps right into the HOH competition, and they all have to pair up into teams. They randomly drew for these teams, and here’s how they stack up. Victoria is with Christine, Caleb is with Nicole, Brittany is with Jocasta, Amber is with Zach, Donny is paired with Hayden, and Frankie and Cody are the final team.

There’s another advert break before we get to this competition, which is called “Devil’s Eggs”. They have to move eggs through chicken wire into slots, and the first to get all twelve is the winner. I have a feeling the winner will NOT be Victoria and Christine.

Frankie is the first to move an egg to his partner, with Amber and Zach a little behind. We suddenly get a live feed fish overlay for a second, and then Victoria and Christine pass their first egg.

Julie then cuts away to tease the second Team America (Fuck Yeah!) mission, and when we return we find out that this week’s bad idea is for them to somehow get a physical threat nominated. Yeah, whatever.

There’s one final look at the competition, but you’ll have to come back to this site later to find out who won. Currently, there’s a tie between Amber/Zach and Cody/Frankie. Before we cut away, we get the “elements” added to the game. This time, it’s falling ashes. Nobody really pays attention, though, as we go to credits.

So that’s it. Now tell me, my friends, is this a better way for me to post? More importantly, are you as upset with the selective editing as I am? Was the house smart to evict Devin over Caleb? Tell me what you’re thinking!





 

Wednesday
Jul162014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 10 Recap (Bizarro World Version)

According to the comments section of my last recap, I’m a bit too negative in these reports. I apparently don’t like anything, and needlessly criticize everything.

These are not new complaints about my style. I’ve long understood that I’m a sarcastic creep. In response to this latest round of allegations, though, I’m going to try something new tonight. Since tonight’s episode is looking to be a bit predictable, I’m going to take a positive approach. There will be no snide comments. Nobody will be described in a negative light.

Let’s see how this works out.

The broadcast begins with the reactions to the Battle of the Block victory by Amber and Donny, and Nicole’s “disappearance”. Will she reappear? I sure hope so!

Oh there she is, back in the house in a frog costume! The house rushes in and laughs and laughs! She’s still worried, though, as she’s no longer safe this week. Hayden calls her a “cute frog”, and he’s a bit confused as usually he’s hitting on “hot girls but now I have to hit on a hot frog”. (This new method of reporting is already very tough.)

Derrick is obviously happy, and can’t wait to put up Devin. He’s just worried that Devin may play in the veto competition. Devin knows that he’s “solo in this game”, and that he’s the target. “I may be down but I’m not out.”

Frankie is now talking with Amber and Donny, telling them that they’re a great team. “It’s amazing what you can do when you combine a model with a country boy”, says Donny. “I even got a little kiss out of it. But I don’t want anybody to get the wrong idea. We’re just friends.”

Donny is still smiling on the living room couch as we now see Caleb leading Jocasta out of the diary room. She’s apparently deathly ill, and everybody rushes to see what’s wrong. She tells us about how she’s had stomach issues, and the heat of the competition made her immediately sick. We even get a toilet cam shot to show us just how sick she is. “I’m still on the block, and I guess I should be concerned about that. l’m not. I’m concerned about feeling better, and being able to walk without somebody helping me.” Poor girl. Just say no to laxatives!

Luckily, Caleb was there to save the day! We see him help tuck Jocasta into bed, and he is so concerned about her...and everybody else. “I wanted to make sure an ally, a friend, and Amber were safe, so I threw it. Hopefully, it doesn’t come around and bite me in the butt.”

Unfortunately, Caleb is also sad. We see him sitting outside in Amber’s slippers, telling her that he threw that comp for her. She didn’t want him to do that, though. “As a matter of fact, I told him not to. Not he thinks I owe him something or (he) expects something from me.”

Caleb says that she could be his date for the finale, and Amber comes right out and says no. “What else do I have to do?”, he replies. He doesn’t think she understands what he did for her, and she should appreciate that. Amber says that she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she’s not going to change her mind. “If you’re not my date to the finale, I’m going to be mad”, he finally says.

Oh look, we get some more frog suit footage. Isn’t Nicole so cute? It looks SOOO much fun. Hayden even wants to kiss the cute frog, which impresses Brittany.

That was short and sweet, as we move to romantic music. Oh look, Cody is giving Amber a massage. How will this go over with Caleb? She says that Cody is “one of my favorite people”, and he replies that he gets “death stares” from Caleb whenever he gives her attention. She says that she just doesn’t think of Caleb in that manner, and is getting tired of the situation.

Caleb then walks out of the bedroom, giving that death stare as he walks by. “This is driving me crazy”, she says to Cody. “This is why I wish I had come in here at 350 pounds.” Caleb continues on up to the HOH. He’s not happy that a member of his alliance “put his hands on my home girl.” The “beast mode cowboy” is not happy with this.

The two move out to the chess board, and Caleb says that he thinks Cody has something going with Amber. “With this kid’s ego, he’ll come after me out of spite”, says Cody in the diary room. He tells Caleb that he would never go after another man’s girl, but Cody still thinks he’s automoatically Caleb’s main target.

Derrick then gives some advice to Caleb in the HOH, and is joined by Cody.They just have to get Caleb off the block, but Caleb walks out as quickly as possible. Talk turns immediately to possibly getting out Caleb instead. “This is our only shot to get him out”, says Cody. They both agree that Caleb is blinded by his obsession with Amber.

After some wonderful promotion of CBS broadcasts, it’s time for the Team America segment. Remember, the three Team America members have decided to create a rumor that Zach is related to last season’s Amanda. Donny starts off by talking to Nicole about this story, who then goes on to relate it to Christine. Derrick tells the same story to Caleb, who rushes off to tell Amber (just as Derrick planned).

The “crown jewel” is to tell Zach about the rumor, knowing that he’d rush off to tell EVERYBODY this story. He’s asked if it’s true, and after a delay he laughs and says no. He does as expected, though, and rushes around to tell everybody. He even claims that it’s true, which Nicole believes. Oh wait, there’s Victoria! She also believes the story. Good to see her on this episode!

Oh no, Jocasta is still sick. Donny is now taking care of her, leading her from the diary room back to the bedroom. “The poor thing is not going to be able to play in the veto competition”, says Donny.

It’s time to find out who is going to play, though. Because of Jocasta’s illness, there will only be five players. Derrick pulls the first chip, which belongs to Christine. Caleb then pulls out the worst possible pick - Devin! Derrick then pulls out Donny’s name “on Jocasta’s behalf”.

As you may imagine, Devin couldn’t be more pleased “to fight for my life”. Caleb says he “better bring his A game”. Derrick pulls Donny into the storage room to find out what he’d do if he won the veto. He tells Donny that his goal is to get out Devin, but Donny interrupts him to say that this is the third week that he’s “been out of the loop”. He adds in the diary room “that I’m not ready to show my cards yet”. Derrick admits that he’s still concerned that Donny has that “Double D” alliance with Devin.

After some more great commercials, it’s now time for Derrick of all people to “go into Beast Mode”. He paints his face, and the Rocky theme comes on as Devin and Caleb also get mentally and physically ready.

The funky music comes on, which means it’s veto competition time! It’s a Vegas casino setup, and Hayden reminds us that the “house always wins in Vegas”. The comp is called “Tumblin’ Dice”, and they have to roll some giant dice to match the number that comes up on a roulette wheel. Sound confusing? Yeah, it’s hard to explain in print.

The first pair to go against each other is Christine and Devin. They must go for the number four. Christine has trouble figuring out how to end up with that number, so obviously Devin wins.

Derrick is the next up, and he also challenges Devin. They must roll around and end up with a two, Derrick seems to take his time. In fact, at one point he was two moves away from winning before he started doing some wacky robot moves inside his dice. Devin beats him by a hair.

It’s now all up to Donny, which worries everybody!

But first, we get some more great CBS promos! Can Donny steal a victory from the professional athlete? He just wants to make his family proud. Devin and Caleb both still don’t believe he’s just a groundskeeper. While watching the other rounds, Donny says that he’s figured out how to win if it’s a 3, 4, or 5. Too bad it comes up a six! Devin goes out a full speed, but Donny takes his time because he has to “figure it out as I go”. Devin gets to the base, but he’s not at the right number, while Donny continues to go at his own pace. He then suddenly wins, and the entire house cheers! “I knew you weren’t a janitor”, says Caleb.

The competition is not over yet, though. The final round is Donny versus Caleb, and they must race to a two. Donny says that he already took out “one big bully. I want to take out both big bullies.” It doesn’t take long for Donny to completely smoke Caleb. “That was hashtag old man beatdown”, he says.

What will Donny do with that veto, though? We’ll find out after one more incredible commercial break.

It doesn’t take long for us to find out, as right after the adverts we see Donny race to Jocasta’s side. “Somebody’s not going home”, he tells her. She starts crying as everybody rushes in to console her. “Winning this veto for Jocasta means the world to me”, says Donny. “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” She says this moement made her feel a “hundred percent better”. I bet she felt two hundred percent after Cody came in and did a semi-striptease for her.

Devin is now seen in the have-not room all by himself. He says he doesn’t want the others to see him feel emotional, but all he’s thinking about is how he let down his daughter. “Every daughter looks at their father like a superhero. I wasn’t her superhero.”

Although we know what happens, Donny must still go through the veto ceremony motions. He even acknowledges that everybody should know what he’s doing, but the “house is so paranoid”. He brings everybody into the house, and announces that he is indeed saving Jocasta. “You were too sick to compete, and all I want is for you to get better.” She again breaks down in tears. Heavy wails, in fact.

Derrick has to name a replacement nominee, and as one would expect, it’s Devin. “On behalf of all the houseguests, Devin take a seat.”  

With that the episode ends, and I can now break out of this nice-nice persona. Can you now see why I do what I do? You can read a recap such as this on a million other sites. Don’t you like a little spice and opinion in these types of articles? There’s no way I can continue to write in that style. If you don’t like my opinions, please let me know and we can have an open discussion. Isn’t that what Big Brother fandom is all about?