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Thursday
Jul142011

Big Brother Season 13, Episode 4 Recap

Somebody’s dream is about to be squashed tonight, and I couldn’t be happier. On the one hand you have Keith, failed star of dating shows whose plan of creating “Keith’s Girls” was extinguished moments after entering the house. On the other hand you have Porsche, whose reasoning for being on the show has nothing to do with prize money and all to do with this idiotic fantasy of having a film crew documenting her post-Big Brother life.

Truthfully, I could care less who heads home tonight, but it’s safe to say that we’ll NEVER hear from the evictee again. Keith will go back home and stammer out sermons in between chasing local girls with little self-esteem. Porsche’s future is destined to remain at that (non)-exclusive nightclub, where she’ll serve overpriced foo-foo drinks until a businessman twice her age makes her his second (or third) wife. What’s the future of the person who survives the evening? Look for them to be the first evictee after the Golden Key is turned in.

Before we get to that fantasy-extinguishing moment, we have to sit through a few minutes of filler, including a segment or two to make it look like either of them have a 50/50 shot of staying. After a overly-long intro and an intro by Julie, we get the expected reactions to Rachel’s decision to not use the veto. Nothing that’s said is worth repeating, except Porsche’s claim that she’s a strong competitor. Yeah, right.

Porsche and Keith have a conversation, and Keith is suddenly sweet-talking the twit. Porsche is having none of it, though. “You can tell Keith is lying when his lips are moving.” Oh snap! She lets him know that she’s prepared to handle anything that he tells the others.

We jump into the have/not room, and Dom says that he wants Porsche gone. Cassi wastes no time in agreeing, and Lawon says it also sounds cool to him. “They (vets) see Porsche as this weak twit”, Cassi says. In the diary room, Cassi admits that Keith has played a terrible game, but he’s a better choice to stay than Porsche.

The vets don’t agree, though. In the HOH, Rachel is saying that Keith has to go. They’ve finally realized that the numbers game doesn’t work for them, and Jeff thinks they need to go after Adam or Cassi’s vote. Working on that goal, the vets decide to socialize with the noobs. Oh God, I have to hear Rachel’s “Big Booty” bullshit again. For some reason, we also have to endure “Vegas Rachel” as she does some awful booty dancing, accompanied by a drum circle performed by the rest of the house.

Dominic is actually showing some smart, though, as he’s not buying the suddenly nice side that’s being shown by Rachel and the rest of the vets. “What are you trying to do? How are you trying to manipulate me, and what are you trying to get out of me?”

Ok, this segment goes on a bit too long, as Rachel starts calling Brendon “Bootie”. Brendon says that’s an affectionate name she has for him, but he doesn’t like the rest of the house knowing that. He calls her over, and after saying in the diary room that she’s no longer “a Vegas party girl”, he starts complaining to her for revealing that dumb name. Hell, it’s better than “Ashy Penis”. Ugh, he calls it “protecting Rachel”.

WTF? This is the most sanitized version of a fight I’ve ever seen, as the piano music jumps in as Rachel says “I love you” over and over. Finally, he starts whining, and it’s nothing like how it actually happened as they accentuate his “I love you” comments over his more hateful lines. He finally turns off the light to go to bed, saying he doesn’t care if she doesn’t sleep with him.

After a commercial break, we get part two of the romanticized version of Rachel fighting with Brendon. She complains about him being mean to her, and as always she apologizes over and over. He continues to whine, and finally snarkily says he accepts it. “You have a hot, beautiful fiancé who is in love with you…who is smart. Who calls you ‘bookie’. Is that the worst of your problems?” Wait, does Brendon have another fiancé. Hey CBS, tone down the acoustic guitars, and get rid of the anthemic crescendo when they make up. My God, this is the fucking worst segment in Big Brother history!

Back in love, Brendon decides to go to Shelly for a vote. Yeah, she’s an easy mark, saying its “awesome” to work with her beloved vets. Jeff says that he now has to go talk to Adam because he was a person Dick brought into the group. Jeff’s great idea is to have Adam name their alliance. Really? He comes up with nothing except “Adam’s Angels”. Ugh.

Now we’re back outside, and Cassi tells Shelly and Kalia that they have nothing to gain by booting Keith. Kalia doesn’t want to “rock the vote”, though, and Shelly is just confused because she’s playing both sides. She wants to know what she has to gain by keeping him, completely ignoring the numbers game. Cassi then moves on to Adam, who says he hasn’t promised his vote to anybody. In the diary room, Adam claims that this vote says whether you’re with the noobs or veterans. Um, Adam, you’re a noob. Think about it.

With another set of commercials down the drain, it’s time for Julie to ask dumb questions to the house. Oh wait, this could actually be good, as Julie has a message from Evel Dick. He says he’s alright, as is his girlfriend and family. He loves the game, and would have never left the house if there wasn’t an emergency. He apologizes to Daniele, saying they “get along the best when we’re on Big Brother playing together”. She doesn’t seem to be too interested, though. He then tells the rest of the house that he will be watching, and wants good gameplay, strategy, and fights. He ends with saying he misses most of them.

Julie then goes to Daniele and asks if she has something to say to him, and she has really little to say except that it is tougher since it is more than just gameplay. Julie presses for her to say “I love you”, but that’s too “awkward” for Daniele. Hmmm.

We then get to see clips of the have/have not competition, including Keith dry-humping the other boys. Yes, that’s actually pretty funny. Dominic is asked if it was worth it to have Keith on top of him. His answer is yes. Adam is then asked what it’s like to play with the vets, and once again his answer is not worth repeating.

Keith then gets to plead his case, and he starts by saying that Porsche “rocks”. Wait, what? He then adds the three things that are needed to make it through the house – have fun, never take things personally, and remember that it’s only a game. Porsche says thanks to everybody, and not much else.

It’s now time for the voting. Dominic is first, and votes to evict Porsche. Brendon votes to evict Keith, as does Jordan. Cassi, however, votes to evict Porsche. It’s tied as we go to commercials.

Lawon is the first to vote when we return, and his vote is against Porsche. It’s Jeff’s turn, and yes, he votes to evict Keith, as does Daniele (after saying she does love her father). Adam then comes in, and his vote is against Porsche. Kalia’s vote is against Keith, as does Shelly. Yes, this went as expected.

Julie announces that Keith has been evicted, and he’s all smiles as he hugs everybody. After watching the house mill around for a few seconds, Julie then begins by asking how shocked he was at being evicted. “Very shocked”, he replies. He does say that he would have done a few things different, and Julie adds that he wasn’t very smart in throwing the POV while on the block. She then asks what went wrong with his choice of Porsche as a partner. He does make sense here, though, saying that she broke their plan on all the noobs sticking together. Keith also says that the game is harder than he expected, and continues on with saying that falling for Porsche, who is hot, would have messed up his game even worse.

It’s time for the goodbye messages, and Cassi says he acted like he was on the “Dating Game”. Lawon says he acted like a “fool…BOOM!” Ugh, Rachel claims he underestimated “the power of Hurricane Brenchel. We flipped the script on you, and used all of your noobies against you!” Porsche ends the segment by whining about playing her, and points to her “you can look but you can’t touch” shirt. She really is a mini-Rachel.

With Keith gone, we can move on to the HOH competition. Those of us who watched the feeds the last couple of days have seen them practicing their golf game, and that’s exactly what they’re playing tonight. They have to hit their ball around a sand trap, with the winner the closest to a “hole in one”.

Rachel was allowed to choose the play order, and Dom’s the first shot. He hits a six, and Adam’s lands in the eight. Cassi’s shot goes too far, and ends up in the water…as does Shelly. Lawon goes nuts with force on his short, and also ends up in the water. Kalia ties Dominic by hitting a six, but Jordan takes the lead by hitting a three. Jeff doesn’t even try, and goes right into the water (reminiscent of throwing a comp for Jordan during his season?). Brendon also fucks up on purpose, making Jordan the HOH! Great job, noobs.

With a couple of minutes left in the show, Julie attempts to coax a Jordan-ism out of her. She delivers, thanking Jeff and Brendon for “letting me win…it’s a repeat from our season”. Porsche is asked how she feels about having the golden key, and her response is that it feels great. Julie then asks a supposed question from the viewers, and it’s to Shelly about missing her kid. I guess she has a stuffed puppy that reminds her of the family. “They’re the love of my life.” Adam is then asked who his favorite 90210 cast member is, and he does a metal roar as he screams “Donna Martin graduates!” Um, sure.

And the show is over. What did you think? Are you excited for Jordan’s HOH win? Are you going to be sick of the entire vet team? I know I am. Leave some comments on this week’s show.

Wednesday
Jul132011

Big Brother: Season 13, Episode 3 Recap

Before we commence with the recap of tonight’s show, apologies are in order for the lack of summary for the previous episode. I was all ready for the broadcast – my slingbox was running smoothly, my mixed drink was refreshed right before show time. I even had a great opening paragraph already written.

As expected, the show started with a recap of Thursday’s premiere…and boom, here comes the local affiliate jumping in with a weather warning. Ok, no big deal. I’m thinking I’d miss next to nothing. I was wrong. After a fourteen-minute filibuster, I was able to witness CBS’ edit of Brendon/Rachel banter…and boom, another break-in. Out of the first 23 minutes of the show, I saw three.

Sure, I could have switched to an online feed, or watched it later on CBS.com. Nah, I was already not in the mood, and those cut-ins just threw my rage to a new level. Before you obsessed Weather Channel viewers begin writing hate mail, you must realize a couple of things about the situation. First off, this THUNDERSTORM activity was in a remote part of our state that covered less than a percent or two of the viewing area’s population. Plus, our CBS affiliate also owns a CW station AND a channel devoted to WEATHER!!! Switch this garbage over to one of those channels and just run a crawl underneath.

Ok, enough whining. Tonight’s the night we learn why Evel Dick left the show (or at least CBS’ version of events), along with the POV competition and POV meeting. Ok, all we really have is Dick’s departure, as I expect lots of Brendon/Rachel and Jeff/Jordan filler. (BTW, there are NO storm warnings tonight!)

Oh yes, we have to begin with reactions to the nominations of Keith and Porsche. Although Rachel tells Porsche that she’s available to talk, Porsche is confused as to who she’s in a alliance with. Is it Dick or the whole veteran team? Ok, let’s face it – I could have ended the sentence at confused. Keith says “it’s no sweat to me…Porsche, you’re going home”. Rachel denies this, saying that she wants Porsche to have that…dum dum dum…golden key so she’ll vote whatever the vets want. Jeff adds that the nominations were Dick’s idea, and he really doesn’t give a shit. Dick verifies that they were his choices.

Porsche heads up to the HOH room after nominations, but Keith spots her and goes off on her in the diary room. Brendon confirms that she’s not the target. “Trust me.” Um, sorry Brendon. Who could be that stupid? Oh yeah, Porsche could. Brendon claims that she’s the only noob that the vets can trust. Porsche doesn’t help herself by wondering if they’re going to set it up so that Keith wins POV (um, she obviously doesn’t know the rules). Brendon condescendingly describes how it’s her best move to throw the POV.

After Porsche leaves, Daniele asks what just happened. Once again, Brendon has to explain the deal and how it’s the best thing for her. Daniele adds in the diary room that her dad probably made a deal with the worst person in the house. You think?

We move on to Keith sleeping, and Dom interrupts so they can do the Regulator dance. Ugh. Keith says he’s going to throw the veto “only because I want to get Porsche out of here”. Hmmm. Dom says if he throws it, he’ll definitely stay.

Now Keith is repeating everything to Kalia and Cassi. He tells them they can’t fall for it if they come to them after the veto and try to tell them how to vote. Kalia advises Keith to talk to the vets, but he thinks that’s crazy talk. He adds that if he doesn’t throw the veto, they’re probably going to be backdoored. At some point, Lawon has entered the room, and he also agrees.

Dick and Keith are now sitting outside, and Dick is called into the diary room. He’s apparently in there for hours, as we see the rest of the house sunbathing, eating, and washing up for the night. Finally, Porsche asks Jeff where he’s at. Suddenly, the house is getting worried, and Jeff searches the house for him. “Clearly, something is up.” That Jeff is a smart one.

Daniele is pacing the house when Rachel is then called into the diary room. Now the house knows there is a problem. Even Jordan has figured it out. “Where is Dick?”

After a commercial break, Jeff asks if they can start “conspiracy theories”. Rachel returns and calls everybody into the living room. She reads a statement from Big Brother that states that “due to an urgent personal matter, Dick had to leave the Big Brother game”. It goes on to state that Daniele then receives the first golden key, but she couldn’t give a shit.

Daniele is now in the diary room crying, actually worried about him. Somehow, though, Adam seems to be more upset. A tearful Daniele heads up to the diary room with Brendon and Rachel. Inside, she says that her dad “lives and breathes Big Brother. This is his life…he’s not just going to leave for nothing”. Somehow, Daniele thinks that she’s screwed, even though she has a four week pass. In fact, all of the vets are now screwed.

Jordan enters the room and reports that Keith was smiling about the situation. Tough guy Brendon threatens to go down after him. Um, yeah. Rachel actually talks him down, and as Jeff enters he also tells him to mellow out. Somehow, they’re all screwed by Dick’s departure, but Jeff thinks it’s all crazy talk. The conversation just keeps going around and around. Jeff says they just need to “knuckle up” and win every competition. Gotta hand it to him. He’s the only voice of reason in the room.

Meanwhile, Keith is celebrating downstairs, and bragging that he’s going to make his move on “Danny”. Shelly is pissed that he’s so excited about something that could be a horrible deal for another person. Keith, though, is getting too excited. He’s already pissed at Porsche (obvi), but now his new enemy is Kalia for telling him that he needs to talk to the vets.”I’m going to be the hero. I’m going to save the day.” Really?

All of the noobs are gathered into the have-not room, and I really can’t understand a word he’s saying except that he thinks he’s “exposing” Kalia and Porsche. Kalia is pissed. Lawon doesn’t get it either, and even Dominic is having second thoughts about Keith. He points out that they now have the numbers, and that he should just relax. He really is a dumbshit.

So it’s now time to pick the POV players, but first Daniele is handed her golden key…and, of course, she whines about it. However, she’s been having some second thoughts, and is going to use these three weeks to “build personal relationships with all these people”. Good move, Junior Dick!

Jeff and Jordan are the “wild card” choices for POV, and Brendon couldn’t be happier. Rachel also chooses Adam to be the host of the competition. The vets all head upstairs and decide it’s probably a good idea to remind Porsche that she needs to throw the competition. Porsche says that she wants nobody out of the house more than Keith, and somehow Brendon manages to pump himself up one more time with some comment about how he’d even be great at rocket science. Really?

It’s time for the competition, and Adam is dressed as a cop, with the rest of the competitors in superhero leotards. I’m going to refrain from Jordan’s dumb comment…and also Keith’s. One player must grab puzzle pieces and hand it the other who is hanging in the air, who then places the piece on a “skyscraper”…but before it begins we again have to hear how Porsche must throw it. Oh yeah, and that Keith is doing the same thing. WE GET IT, CBS!

Ugh, the play by play of Brendon is even worse than Jordan’s inane commentary (and game play). The same with Keith and Porsche believing they’re pulling a scam on the other. Somehow, though, Jeff and Jordan are doing even worse than Keith and Porsche.  Thankfully, Brendon and Rachel finally put us out of this misery…and as usual, they act like they’ve won the greatest competition ever. “Eh heh heh heh he”. Ugh.

With the competition over, Brendon and Rachel head back up to the HOH to celebrate. Jeff joins them, and Rachel asks if they should change the nominations. Brendon, of course, wants to hold court over the whole house…”reminding them that we...have complete control”. Yes, he thinks that not only should everybody come up and kiss the ring that also from that moment on the entire house should come to them with their nominations. Yeah, he didn’t learn anything from the previous season.

They begin by having Adam and Dominic up into the HOH. Brendon informs them that if Rachel doesn’t change the nominations, that means that next week they can’t go up or also be up for POV. I can almost see the incredulous smile grow on Adam’s fat mug. Adam still agrees, but Dominic is pissed. “I wasn’t intimidated before they won, and I’m not intimidated after they won.” Lawon and Kalia are then brough in and given the same speech, and they also just nod their head in agreement (and laughing on the inside).

The speech is also repeated to Cassi and Shelly, and Cassi dares to speak up. She says she knows that they have a bond with Jeff and Jordan, and would always choose them over her. Shelly just stares off into space, adding only that there’s “no word breaking”.

Rachel then informs Keith that she’s thinking of using the veto, and asks what he would give her if that indeed happened. Keith claims that he’ll NEVER nominate her if she saves him. Really? Rachel backtracks and says the deal is only for the next two weeks. In the diary room, though, he says he has no worries because he’s “got the numbers”. Ok, Rachel, stop when you’re ahead. She doesn’t, though, and threatens to bury him if he goes back on his word.

It’s finally that anticlimactic time. Rachel and Brendon continue to spout nonsense about possibly changing their nominations, and the rest of the house responds accordingly. Finally, the rest of the house is brought in for the ceremony, and, as expected, it’s not used.

That’s it for tonight. What did you think of the episode? Will Keith survive? Will Brendon’s ego make his head explode? Will Porsche grow an IQ or two? Let us know what you think!

Tuesday
Sep162008

Big Brother Season 10 Finale!!!

Well, it’s finally here – the finale of season ten of Big Brother. 71 days ago, we had our first glimpse of the thirteen contestants, and tonight we crown the winner. Will it be Memphis, the “mixologist”, who for the most part skated by while allowing others to do his dirty work, or Dan, the “good” Catholic, who somehow made it to the end despite continually creating drama inside the house.

There are plenty of other lingering questions as we commence the broadcast. Will Michelle’s meeting with Dan sway her to vote for him? Will the producers allow Jerry’s ego to grow by giving him the swing vote? How will the house react to the news that Dan was America’s Player for one week? Will April and Ollie discover that everybody saw their late night backdoor adventures? Most importantly, how hot will my girl Angie look tonight?
Once again, I’m surprised that CBS only gave up an hour for material that could have easily filled two. Hell, the ratings were even up this year. Instead, we’re stuck with an overly-crammed show that’s marred with an extended opening that recaps what everybody already knows. Actually, this final recap was better than what we’ve seen all season, as it really does tell the story of the season.


Finally, we get to the actual show, and we jump right into Jerry’s entrance into the jury house. Instead of the usual set inside the house, we see them walk outside and discuss who they want to see show up.

Keesha, still hurting over her eviction, wants the final juror to be Memphis, while Ollie babbles again about Dan “disrespecting” him. Libra says she’s “thank the dear Lord” if it was Jerry as he wasn’t the “gingerly old man” he wanted others to believe he was. Renny’s not happy with that idea. “To spend one more night with that man? Please.” I miss her.

As Keesha talks about how they “floated the old man” along, the codger shows up to hear Libra talk smack about him. They all immediately grow silent, and Renny is clearly not happy. “Are you glad to see me”, he asks…to more silence. I love it!
Michelle is the first to realize that if Jerry is with them, then the “two evil people” are the finalists. You get an A for the night, Manchelle. Oh wait, she’s not done, as she’s all excited to tell Jerry exactly what he already knew – that Dan and Memphis had an alliance. “They played us to the hilt”, Jerry drones on. “We could have handled them one at a time. Two of them we couldn’t handle.”
Keesha’s had enough, and complains to Jerry about putting her and Dan up instead of Memphis. “I had an agreement with Memphis…and Memphis didn’t keep his word”, Jerry responds. Renny doesn’t buy it, and once again we get to hear Jerry yell, “will you let me talk?” Oh boy, this is fantastic watching these two go back and forth.
It’s now Jerry’s turn to say the obvious, as he tells them they have to choose the “worst of two evils”. Renny complains that Memphis is the “most insensitive person I’ve ever met in my life. Memphis is very cunning, conniving, insensitve.” Keesha agrees, saying that Memphis survived by being cold-hearted, and that Dan’s best move was “getting everybody to like him”. Michelle says that she would have respected Dan more if he “had just told me why he was putting me up” instead of his roulette game. April wasn’t there, but she certainly has an opinion on how embarrassing that moment was for everybody involved. “Talk about heartless.” Ugh. Keesha responds that she doesn’t have “bitter feelings towards Dan”. It’s funny (and scary) how Libra is suddenly the voice of reason in this group, as she puts it all in perspective as that’s how you have to play the game.
Since nobody was talking about Michelle for at least two minutes, she has to again bring up how she was backdoored by Dan. April asks her to “elaborate” on her trip with Dan for Jerry’s benefit. She babbles on about it, until it finally clicks into Jerry’s head that Dan was playing her for a vote. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!” All of this talk just leads Keesha to repeat what we’ve already heard about how it just means that Dan played the game the best. “He definitely worked a lot harder.” I think we know how she’s voting. Jerry actually makes a good point, as he says that Memphis allowed Dan to do all of the dirty work, but was just as responsible. They really are all talking in circles, though, as Keesha again talks about carrying Memphis. April actually agrees with Keesha. Mark that one down, although it means to April that Memphis played a tougher game. Renny disagrees.

Thank God that’s over, and after commercials we get the jury questions. We start with Libra, who asks Dan what his biggest move was. He says it was backdooring Michelle, which was hard because he likes her. “This game is not about liking someone. I had to get someone out of the house that could probably beat me in a competition and probably beat me in the final two.” Manchelle doesn’t look like she’s buying it.
We don’t get to see her question to Memphis, as we move on to Apirl’s question to Memphis. She says that since they never talked to each other, why should she give him the money? “I don’t have anything against you, but I feel like we just got separated at the beginning of this game, and we never kind of got back together. I wasn’t trying to put up a front with you. I’ve been a straight shooter.” That comment didn’t work very well, as we can hear groans from the entire jury.
Michelle’s up next, and her question is for Dan. Oh, she’s clever (not). “We’re going to play a little jury house roulette.” Oh, god. She asks him to tell the jury why she chose her over everybody else for the trip, which is the first that Memphis has heard of this. The followup is that on the trip he said the move was his alliances’ idea, so he needs to also explain that.
Dan explains that he chose her because he treated her “the dirtiest”, and just “wanted to make amends” with her. As for the role of everybody else in the plan, he says it was his idea but he couldn’t do it without everybody’s help. Renny and Keesha don’t seem so pleased with him anymore.

Oh wait, with Michelle we get questions to both finalists. She asks Memphis about their supposed alliance, and why she should award the money to a person who never won HOH and supposedly threw a bunch some competitions. His answer is weak. “Maybe winning HOH wasn’t a good plan for me. I’m still here.” He also talks about how tough of a player she is, and that he needed “convincing” to jump onboard the plan to evict her.
Up next we have Ollie, and of course his question is for Dan, who jokes that “this will be a tough one”. Yes, he talks about the deal they made that led to Michelle’s eviction, and why he would put “your girl” (Monica) into this deal. Dan explains that he only had five minutes left in him, so he had to come up with something to make him drop. “I had to do whatever it took, whether it was shameful or not.”
Renny asks Memphis to name “one thing you did for me in the game”. There’s an awkward silence before he finally stumbles some stuff about “giving myself”. Oh, that’s not going to work very well as Renny and Keesha laughs. He continues on about how he never did anything behind her back, which leads Keesha to complain that he’s “skirting” around the question.
Keesha now addresses her “best friend” Memphis. She wants to know why he picked Jerry over her. “I thought we were very close.” Memphis says it was the hardest move in the house to vote her out, but he had to do it for gameplay. “It was the only way that I can get to this point. It bothers me that I may have ruined a friendship that I’ll never get back.”
Finally, we conclude with Jerry, who for some reason complains about Dan’s arrogance whenever he won a competition. “Do you have respect for any of us in the jury house.” Obviously, Dan responds that he has lots of respect for everybody, and that the incident with throwing the card was just a celebration of finally winning something. He does understand how Jerry may have taken those actions in a bad light. “I hope you respect me, because I respect you, Dan”, Jerry concludes.

Somehow, Jerry is the only other person to have both questions shown, we now have to endure him whining about his failed alliance with Memphis. “Who would you have picked, me or Dan?” Dan’s intrigued by this question, and Memphis again stumbles on how he would not have known until that opportunity arose. Dan throws in a comment that maybe Memphis didn’t want to make that decision, and possibly threw that final HOH. Keesha gets a good laugh out of this.

They now get final statements to the jury. Memphis goes first, and talks about how he had a “business plan” to make it to the end. To clear things up, he says he only threw two HOH’s. Keesha again groans when he says he was honest the entire time.


Dan now stands, and tells a story about how he walked into the house knowing that he didn’t excel in many of the ways everybody else did. He had to come up with ways to remain in the house, and aligned himself with people for that very reason. He says that he wanted Michelle and Ollie to be upset with him, so that he could help Memphis make it to the end with him. When he concludes, Libra says Dan gave a good speech. April doesn’t agree. Imagine that.

With the jury questioning complete, they are introduced to the studio audience. Renny gets the biggest applause, and milks it. Jerry’s applause is very subdued.
After commercials, Dan and Memphis are introduced back in the house. Dan is asked to say one word about the jury questioning, and gives us about three sentences. Memphis compares it to a firing squad. “It was intense, but it was good to express your feelings towards the people you had to evict.”


Wasting no time, the jurors begin their voting. Libra begins, and babbles nonsense about “going crazy” as she inserts her key. April is next, and thanks them for the experiences “they all shared”. Michelle babbles about it being a “crazy ride”, and Dan responds something about a “princess from Providence”. Ollie talks about remembering this experience for the rest of their lives.
Next up is Renny, and talks about how the decision was easy “as a businesswoman”. She goes on about not forgetting the little things and ‘human spirit”. As expected, she ends with a flourish. Keesha says she loves them both to death, and considers them both “little brothers”.

Finally, it’s Jerry, who suddenly has a “lot of respect” for both of them, and his vote was “based on kindness”. He promises to explain it later.


Now we get the moment I’ve been waiting for – the initial evictees, including my girl Angie!!! Oh boy, she looks as beautiful as always.

Brian is asked about being close to Dan, and predicting Memphis as a potential winner. He talks about how they both never made it personal, and that it “was just a game to get you both where you both are”. He tells Ollie that he was surprised by his “personal reaction”, and also Michelle’s fight with Libra that included her whining about Libra’s mothering skills.


He also points out April and Michelle’s personal attacks that included making fun of their looks, which Manchelle denies.

Julie notes that Steven was nodding his head, and he’s asked who acted the most surprising. He says that Jerry’s reactions were disappointing, especially his actions against Dan. To show what he’s talking about, they play a clip of Jerry’s actions after Michelle’s HOH victory. Jerry is given a chance to respond, and talks about using religion to break his word. (Good to see that somebody made note of the “real” Jerry.)

Julie then tells everybody that despite the conspiracy theories, there was no plant in the house, but for one week somebody was America’s Player. They show the clip of Dan getting the news. Michelle feels vindicated. Ollie is heard saying America’s “stupid” when they show the clip of Jessie’s eviction.

Jessie is asked to respond to what he just saw, but he wants to respond to America instead of Dan. He thanks America for some reason, and talks about his appearance in the house as a gorilla.

What, no question for Angie???? This is not right. Julie tells the jury about the $25,000 prize for favorite jury member. I bet Michelle believes she has that wrapped up.



Finally, it’s time for Julie to pull the keys. Libra voted for Dan, as does April, Michelle, and Ollie. Dan wins!!!
Dan’s girl hugs him as he walks out, as do the rest of the contestants.

When we get back from commercials, we see that Dan received all of the votes.

Julie reveals the favorite juror winner, and although Jerry won second place the winner was…Keesha? What an upset! How did Renny not get at least second place?

Well, that’s it for this season. It’s been fun. See you next summer? Or maybe next spring?

Thursday
Sep112008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 26


Tonight’s the night! Who will become the final HOH of the season, and who will they decide will stand next to them in the finals? Will the terribly-named Renegades alliance make it to the end, or will Jerry somehow find a way to avoid the jury house? We will see in the next sixty minutes.
When the show went off the air two nights ago, the three contestants were strapped onto the top of old-school airplanes. It makes sense that this is exactly where we begin tonight’s show after Julie’s battle with the teleprompter. Dan says that their “whole plan” depends on him winning part one of the three-part contest, while Jerry says that he needs to win to give Memphis some confidence that “he made a good choice” in keeping him over Keesha. Oh, Jerry.
The planes start to move around a bit, and then water begins to spray on them. Memphis says that he originally thought it was going to be an easy competition, but when they started swaying he realized that all he could do was attempt to “hang on”.
Dan plays up to the fake fight that they orchestrated just minutes before heading outside for this competition by babbling about how it was a “great game move” to evict Keesha. “I just didn’t think you’d do it.”
This gives the producers a chance to replay the clip of Keesha being evicted, and Jerry is all smiles because “it was the first time that somebody actually did what they promised to do for me”. Oh, Jerry. Memphis says it was difficult to evict her, but it makes sense because Jerry is “75, and he doesn’t see so well, and he doesn’t hear so well. We felt that we had a better chance at beating Jerry than beating Keesha in the final HOH competition.”
We again see Dan’s embrace of Keesha as she left the house, and his whisper admission of meeting up with Michelle on his luxury trip. Dan says he told because it meant that he “had now been completely honest with Keesha”, and that saying “finish it” meant that it was up to her to ensure he had Michelle’s vote. Too bad that I don’t believe she understood what he meant.
He goes on to claim that throwing that last veto comp was “probably the best move that I made in this game”, because of the anger it provoked in Keesha. We again see the fake fight between Dan and Memphis, and Dan’s promise to not take him to the final two. Memphis says he thought it was funny, and that “Jerry probably is sitting on cloud nine right now”.
Yeah, he is. “Memphis and Dan now feel betrayed by each other, and it is really leading to quite a riff. I’m hoping they stay in that mode, and if one of them wins HOH they’ll take me to the final two.” Oh boy, Jerry.
Dan and Memphis keep up this charade in the backyard, with Memphis talking about skateboards and Dan replying that he used to “stay on them for twelve hours until your friend stabs you in the back”. Memphis can barely hold back a laugh as they keep up this banter. Jerry is still buying it, saying that the more they talk like this “the better for me”.
Just then, a big gust of wind is blown on them, and Jerry loses his balance and falls. Dan slyly smiles as the old man gets up and walks away. They both wink at each other, and Memphis says that he was “surprised that he fell so quickly”.
With Jerry now out, Dan says the plan is for Memphis to fall to give this round to Dan. Memphis says he “overplayed the card”, though, after another dumb football analogy about staying up all night. Dan gets a bit perturbed, though, as he doesn’t fall as quickly as they had planned, and as the planes start moving more violently Dan is struggling to stay up. At one point, he comes close to falling, as Memphis continues to stand still.
Finally, Memphis does fall, but he admits that he stayed up just to “give the illusion” he was playing to win. “I didn’t want to take the chance of Jerry finding out that I threw it. That would ruin pretty much everything.”
With the game over, Dan hops down and celebrates, while Jerry babbles about how now he has to go against Memphis to see who ends up in the last part of the contest. Memphis and Dan continue to act like they’re upset with each other in hopes that Jerry throws part two. Memphis does give a little wink to the camera as he runs past to let us know he’s happy with the results.
We’re now in the kitchen, and Jerry thanks Memphis for choosing him over Keesha. “I felt that it was me against the world from almost day one, and I’m really enjoying Memphis right now. There’s a nice side to him that in the whole time in the house I really didn’t get to enjoy.”
Jerry probably wouldn’t say those words if he could hear Memphis and Dan celebrate how they’re “one step closer” to their goal. “We’re going to have to flip to see who sends him home”, says Memphis. Dan’s only worry is going against Jerry in the final round, and Memphis responds that they’re not going to let that happen. Dan sort of overstates the case when he says in the diary room that if Jerry wins the second heat, “all my hard work is going right down the toilet”.

After commercials, we move on to round two with Dan walking into the living room with two sets of boxing gloves. Jerry’s a bit concerned. “I was hoping that it wasn’t going to be that I had to actually box Memphis because I don’t want to die at this age.” Oh, Jerry.
The two are put into second rooms, and brought out one at a time. Memphis goes first, and he comes out to play a game where he has to set up each HOH and nominees for every week in the house. What this has to do with boxing is not very clear, although the cardboard cutouts of the evicted contestants wearing boxing gloves are pretty cool.
Oh, I get it. He has to punch the people that weren’t nominated of HOH, leaving the three that were up. The producers alternate between showing Memphis and Jerry competing, and Memphis definitely had a much quicker spring in his step than Jerry. Of course, that’s to be expected, because in case you didn’t know Jerry is 75 years old!
They both talk about how this is the most important challenge of the season, and the slow-moving Jerry has no problems with round one while Memphis had to go back and change a couple of choices.

Memphis continues to have problems in round two, but finally gets it correct. He says that he knew all of the HOH’s, but was confused at times with the nominations.

Wow, they’re really making it look like Jerry was doing well in this game.
Wait, maybe they’re not giving Jerry such a good edit, as he has problems with round three. Memphis continues to struggle in round four, as does Jerry. There really is no quickness in his step, while Memphis sprints to make his choices.

Memphis is really on a roll, but they make it look like Jerry is doing just as well. After he completed the task, Memphis says that he was disappointed in his performance. Yet when we see the times, Memphis wins with a time of 8:35, compared to Jerry’s 51:22. Wow, what a fantastic edit Jerry received during the competition.

Dan struggles to not laugh when Jerry’s time is revealed, but lets it loose in the diary room. “Memphis, you just slaughtered the old man.” Memphis babbles that he’s “glad that the Renegades are successful”. While Jerry drops his drawers and says that he’s embarrassed, the Renegades do their silly little hand clap in another room. “Embarrassing”, complains Jerry. Dan says his plan is to beat Memphis in the final round, but Memphis says he wants to win because he has yet to win a HOH.
Back to the live show, and Julie now interviews with the final three. Julie begins by teasing Jerry for his time, and he claims it was because of that fall into the pool the week before. “I got water in my brain.” Julie follows it up by asking about his fate with the other two.
Julie then asks Memphis about how tough it was to evict Keesha two days ago. He admits that it was a tough task, but “this game is business, and she didn’t fit in the plan”. Dan is then asked about how the mood in the house has changed, and he babbles about how they “can smell the half million dollars”.

Yes, we get jury house footage again! Damn, we don’t get to see Renny’s entrance, but we do get to see her play cards with Libra and Michelle. Oh, that poor old broad! Renny is pissed at their idiocy. “Being in the jury house sucks! But it’s all good because I’m a good sport. We’re losers, and that’s why we’re here. Being in the jury house, you have to suck it up and enjoy the house.” Michelle notes that the next person to walk in will “find it interesting that she got taken on a luxury competition that they didn’t know about.” Oh, won’t she be surprised.

April talks about how the one person she doesn’t want to see is Jerry show up, and you can see that Renny is holding her tongue. We now see Keesha walk in just as April is babbling that she hopes that’s the person who walks in. “I think its karma.” Um, what?
Keesha hugs Renny, as April and Michelle look on scowling. April doesn’t wait to start whining. “Keesha has done a lot of backstabbing to me. I really don’t respect her game.” Keesha informs everybody about how she was screwed by Memphis. “He’s a coward.”

Michelle butts in by saying “I know a lot”, and Keesha responds by saying “I know you do. You went on a trip with Dan.” Michelle now realizes that “Dan knows what he’s doing. He did a good job by having Keesha not liking Memphis.”

They throw in the DVD, and both Michelle and April are entertained by Keesha’s exit. April wants Jerry to win the money because she doesn’t like their cockiness, and Renny says that she warned Keesha that they weren’t going to take her to the end. We see Dan’s whisper to Keesha, and now it doesn’t seem so clear that his sucking up worked on her as she complains about how he was just working for her vote. “Dan’s smart. He’s playing the game. I think he’s a great player.”

It’s now time for the final competition of the year. Will Memphis throw it to Dan? As usual, it’s the jury statements quiz. The first question is from Libra, and Dan gets the first point. April’s question is about who coasted in the game, and Memphis gets it right this time by guessing himself.


Michelle’s question is about the best strategic move in the game, and they both guess that she picked backdooring her…which is correct. Ollie’s question is about his fatal mistake in the game, and they both choose “trusting Dan”, which is shockingly incorrect.
Question five is from Renny, and what irritated her the most. Dan guesses its Jerry’s dentures, and Dan gets the point. Keesha wraps it up with a question about her most uncomfortable moment, and Dan selects the night before her eviction…and wins!!! Goodbye, Jerry!
Or is it? Julie points out that Dan has surprised us before. Jerry gives his speech first, and he babbles about how hard he’s played the game and that he should be considered because he never broke his word except when he was forced to nominate Brian.
Memphis now stands up, and babbles about how it’s been a wild ride, and that there are times “that you can look somebody in the face and see if they’re a true renegade”. Oh boy. Dan then stands, and after talking about how tough this is, he evicts Jerry.


After Jerry walks out, the two jump all over each other and again do their stupid hand shake. Julie’s first question is about the “fight” between Dan and Memphis, and why Dan still chose Memphis over him. He just talks about how much time they spent, and he admits that he believes they made an agreement to stick together.
Julie then asks if Dan made a mistake by choosing Memphis, and Jerry still believes that he will ultimately be the deciding vote. We end with the goodbye messages, and Dan kisses his ass despite their “ups and downs”. Memphis gives him props with putting up with all of the craziness in the house, and he does consider him a friend. Julie ends it by asking about whether the house was everything he thought it was, and he tearfully says that it was.
Before we conclude with a final interview with Dan and Memphis, CBS shows a promo about how we get to vote for our favorite jury member to receive $25,000. Go, Renny!
Julie congratulates the Renegades, and Dan gives his love to all of the “Renegade Moms and Dads and girlfriends”. Ugh. Memphis just adds that it’s “crazy”. And that’s it for tonight! See you on Tuesday for the finals!