When we last saw the cast, they were surprised (and frightened) by a nearly naked sumo wrestler sitting in their living room. Tonight we find out why this creature was in the house, along with the typical scheming, HOH schmaltz-fest, and what shapes up to be the most anticlimactic nomination ceremony ever.
So we start with the reaction to Renny’s eviction. A tearful Keesha says she “adores” her and that it was “really hard to watch her walk out the door”. Guess what, she says it “sucks”. Jerry, though, after thanking Renny for her cooking, says that his reign as HOH was “successful” because it kept him around another week. “It was a failure, (though), because I didn’t send Dan home.”
The Renegades are obviously happy. Memphis says his plan was to get rid of Renny, “and it happened. At this point, with Renny gone, any of us can win.” Dan adds that because everybody in the jury house loves Renny, it was important to send her packing. “People would love to give her the money.”
We see one final embrace between Renny and Keesha before we head to the aftermath. Watching the wall of pictures, Keesha says “her picture should have never turned black and white because Renny is a star; the person who lights up the room when she walks in.”
Moving on to the HOH competition, Dan pats himself on the back for his “huge win. This key right here ensures that I have a one in three chance at $500,000.” Memphis is also happy, but pretends that being put on the block last time by him was not pre-planned. “If he puts me on the block again, I’m going to hurt him.” Here’s a hint, Memphis. Don’t suggest it then!
Keesha is not happy with herself, especially since she’s FINALLY figured out that Dan is closer to Memphis than her. Jerry states the obvious about how there is only one more HOH left in the game, and then babbles about how the “house is against me every day, and I do have to find a way to break this house apart.” I love how he gets such a sympathetic edit.
Now we end the recap portion with the introduction of the sumo wrestler. They’re all a bit hesitant to approach him, and Dan suggests that since Jerry is “the toughest one here”, he should take him on. “No way, Jose”, he responds.
Keesha becomes even more scared when the wrestler tells the house in a foreign language that he’s sitting on the info they need. “Does anyone know how to translate”, asks Dan. This time it’s Keesha’s turn to state the obvious. “The sumo wrestler was huge. Huge! Huge!” Yeah, we get it, sweetie.
Memphis says that maybe they have to wrestle him for the money. Now that I’d pay to watch. As Memphis talks about how they didn’t know what to do, the sumo guy suddenly stands up…which causes all four of them to jump back a step. Underneath his huge, stanky ass is an envelope, which he sits back down on. Dan asks why he’s there, and again we get the foreign babbling, along with an overdubbed gong noise. “I guess we know where the earthquake came from”, Dan attempts to joke.
Jerry just sits down to watch, but Dan finally notices the envelope. He moves closer to the wrestler, and snatches it the next time he stands up. He reads the note inside, which tells them that they will be having a luxury competition that involves a trip out of the house for the winner that “could impact the game”.
They all have awful guesses for what this means. Memphis thinks it’s a sushi dinner; Jerry guesses something about a “tea house”; Keesha goes on about a show. Dan somehow believes they can ship the winner to Japan. Somehow Jerry also guesses that it’s a trip to Vegas, but Keesha really sums it all up by saying “I really am lost”. Yeah, you are.
The wrestler finally leaves, and Jerry immediately jumps on the “could impact the game” line. Dan and Memphis run off to celebrate Dan’s victory, and the possibility of this luxury prize.
Keesha is more melancholy, though, and Dan attempts to cheer her up. She says “it gets pretty hard when people start to mean something to you”, and warns him that Jerry is “going to try to get between us”. She wonders if the three of them will make it to the end. “I hope so, as long as Jerry doesn’t win the POV”, Dan answers. She really “hopes” they would pick her over Jerry, she says in the diary room, but doubt is starting to creep in. Damn, she’s looking fantastic, though.
Moving on to later that night (or some night), we see Keesha sitting outside with tears running down her face. “It’s just really hard being in here without Renny. We just knew that we had each other’s backs. These guys both have each other’s backs, as far as I’m concerned. For the first time, I’m going to be alone, but I’m going to give them a run for their money.”
Poor Memphis is now stuck outside with Jerry, who talks about how “two people are going to win it”. You think, Jerry? Ugh. He whines about how it’s so rough for him because he couldn’t compete in the HOH, and about how he has “a couple of kids who really need some help”. Get the violins out now, BB producers! Jerry admits that he’s “grasping at straws”, and we hear that he knows the jury house is going to vote “for a woman” if they make it to the finals. Whatever, old man, but Memphis is now starting to question who is the best person to take with them.
Time for some time-wasting segments – the boys have a pet spider named Ted, and they like to catch bugs for him to consume It’s bad enough we have to endure this on Showtime, but we don’t need it replay it here. Keesha is horrified, as are most of the viewers. Being a biology teacher, though, Dan thinks it’s “the coolest thing ever!”
Speaking of boring segments, we now see Dan run out to announce the opening of his HOH room…to crickets. Well, to be fair, they’re just not in earshot of his announcement, and when he finds them they do all run upstairs. Damn, his girlfriend looks hot, and Memphis laughs at the earlier conspiracy theories that Ollie and April had. Jerry goes on about how Dan used to be fat, which Dan says is not a good idea to get on his good side. Dan reads a letter from his dad, who has nice things to say about everybody…”even Jerry”.
For some reason, we now get a shot of everybody sleeping intermixed with shots of a bunch of statues in the backyard, along with a contortionist and a gorilla. This silly creature runs into the diary room to reveal that he’s actually Jessie. “Who else can fill out this suit?” Oh boy. He still can’t read very well, as he struggles to narrate how he’s there to give them a “rude awakening”.
After commercials, Jessie runs out and wakes everybody up. Trust me, it’s not quite like when Evel Dick wakes up the house. Keesha claims it’s “surreal”. Is it? Is it really? Dan the Brainiac figures out that because yesterday they had the sumo wrestler the gorilla must also have something to do with the luxury competition. “(It’s) not everyday you’re awakened by a gorilla.”
They run outside to see the statues, and Dan first notices the contortionist. “There’s another female in the house, and I’ve been staring at the same ones for the past 60 days.” Keesha describes all of the statues, but doesn’t add a lot to the setup.
Everything is there to possibly be a part of a puzzle, and the person who figures it out gets the trip. Jerry wants to win it because he’s still stuck on that phrase about impacting the game. “I can use any advantage I can get.”
The game begins, and all four just kind of circle around the objects, and we again hear from Dan how this game works. Jessie the Gorilla mainly follows Dan around, and imitates his every move. Memphis finds him funny, though.
Jerry pulls the bell first, and makes a “hear no evil/see no evil” guess. They all get three guesses, though, so we don’t know if he’s right. Jessie the Gorilla covers up an object, and Keesha explains that as the time goes on the gorilla is covering up objects that don’t feature in the correct answer. Memphis scares her by barking when she approaches the wolf statue. She then rings the bell and guesses “where sleeping dogs lie”.
The gorilla covers up the emu, which makes Jerry realize that his guess was wrong. Dan and Memphis continue to wander around the backyard. Jerry again rings the bell, and guesses “diamonds are a girl’s bestfriend”. Come on, Jerry.
The gorilla covers up more objects, and the house guests all laugh at him. Keesha rings the bell again, and answers “blew it” because of nonsensical reasons. Suddenly, the contortionist gets up and leaves, and Dan is heartbroken.
The time is clicking down, and Jerry doesn’t want to waste his last guess. Dan hasn’t’ answered yet, because of some dumb football rule about “don’t go until you know”. Hmmm, I haven’t heard that one before. Jerry goes ahead and does ring it, and after pissing everybody off by making a cocky wave now guesses “a dog is a man’s best friend”. Jerry! It’s not a contest of clichés! It has to do with the game. He realizes pretty quickly that he was wrong with all three.
Memphis has two guesses left, but has no clue. Keesha rings in with another selection, and she babbles “don’t count your chickens until your eggs are hatched”. Oh, girl! Memphis admits that he’s awful at these types of games, and Jessie calls him a baby. Dan finally rings in with a guess, and he goes with “bury the hatchet”. Memphis rings in next, but tells Dan that he’s just going to say something. He guesses “fruitless exit”, and he knows it’s wrong.
With time winding down, the gorilla shakes Jerry’s hand and makes “the noise” that he supposedly made all the time. Jessie brags in the diary room about how “they didn’t see that coming until right at the end”. Ugh, you’re really not that clever.
With the contest over, they now see a gorilla hand hanging below Jessie’s picture, and Keesha says it “explains why he didn’t want anything to do with me”. Good one, girlfriend. Jerry agrees that it was him. They all sit down to wait for the results.
Dan says he’s very confident that he had the right phrase, but he’s concerned that Jerry or Keesha had it before him. The living room screen comes on, and the winner of this boring, drawn-out contest is…commercial time.
When we come back, it is indeed Dan who won. He’s a bit full of himself as he talks about how he’s “on a roll”. He’s called to the diary room, where he opens an envelope that tells him that he gets a private helicopter trip to a remote beach. The catch is that he can take either one of his current housemates or a jury member of his choice! He says that he’s leaning towards taking a jury member, because choosing anybody left in the house could create problems. He thinks that choosing Michelle might help him get a vote, since she was supposedly screwed out of the Hawaiian trip, along with her eviction last week. After some cut shots of him, he does indeed choose Michelle.
He comes out of the diary room, and tells everybody about the prize. He knows he can’t tell them that he’s taking a jury member, so he tells them that he’s going alone because he “didn’t want to create any animosity in the house”. Keesha says it was a smart move, but Jerry points out that maybe he’s going to visit the jury. He again brings up the “change the game” line, and Dan pretends to be concerned. In the diary room, Jerry adds that “it’s not Dan” to not bring Memphis with him. Dan is now worried that this could backfire on him.
We finally get back to game talk, and Dan and Memphis are talking about who should go on the block. Dan babbles the obvious, about how the winner of the veto is the person who decides the next eviction. Although Memphis just said that he doesn’t want to be on the block again, he basically volunteers to go up so that Keesha “won’t worry”. Dan agrees that this may be a good idea, although it’s a risk.
So it’s finally nomination time, and you know the drill. Dan reads the script that everybody has to read, and all three of the other house guests babble about whether they’re going up or not. Dan finally announces that he’s ready, and after a dumb speech about loving everybody the only key pulled is Keesha’s. Dan talks about how the upcoming POV is “one battle for the ages”. What about your usual silly showmanship for TV?
Reacting to the nomination, Memphis talks about how being put up is just a show to “hide the Renegade alliance”. Jerry says he was shocked because he thought there was a “definite loyalty situation there. He turned on Memphis again, and Memphis was upset. Now I can use that to my advantage to go to the end.” Um, ok. Keesha says she’s “very excited” because it could mean that Dan wants her over Memphis. You silly twit.
Dan ends the show by bragging about his great week. Yes, we know. You’re so good. See you Tuesday for the veto competition, and Dan’s “exciting” trip with Michelle!