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Tuesday
Aug262008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 19 Recap

In 1975, Neil Young famously sang, “Tonight’s the Night”. Yes, I know Rod Stewart also had a song with that same title, but let’s ignore that travesty.
But tonight is the night every fan of Big Brother should be watching. Depending on the edit, it could be the most epic episode in years. In fact, with Thursday’s episode featuring a double eviction, there’s a fair chance that we’ll actually see the fallout from the explosive veto meeting that was held yesterday.
There’s so much material, though, that it should be interesting to see how they structure tonight’s show…especially since they have to waste a segment on one of the houseguests receiving a phone call from home. Otherwise, we’re going to see the reactions to the nominations, some campaigning, the veto competition, more campaigning, a plot to shake up the house, and the actual veto meeting. It’s impossible to fit all the fun into 47 minutes.
So here we go with the reaction to Dan’s nominations. Ollie says he “couldn’t be in a better position right now. I get all the good stuff that comes with being HOH. I get to call all the shots, but my hands are clean.” Memphis is still pissed, though, and waves off hugs from Renny and Michelle. “I think Dan’s plan is crap.”
He does shake Jerry’s hand, though, and we once again get to hear about how Jerry is a “fighter”. Yes, we get it. Dan babbles about how the nominations will look to Ollie like he’s doing as he wanted, but will hide the awfully-named “Renegade” alliance. “Any risk I take in life is very calculated.”
Memphis follows Dan up to the HOH, and is asked if he’s really pissed. Memphis confirms it, and adds that he’s “taking a huge, huge risk”. Dan tells him to keep playing it up that he’s pissed, and Memphis says that won’t be a problem.
Dan now adds the bombshell that Ollie gets to pick a replacement nominee if the veto is used. Memphis can’t believe it. “What the hell were you smoking when you were up there?” Dan replies, “that ain’t happening”. He adds that if Ollie wins the veto and takes down Jerry, then “Michelle is going home”. In the diary room, Dan adds that Ollie is dumb to believe that he would send one of his own home.
Keesha is sleeping, but Dan wakes her up to ask if he made a mistake. Keesha won’t comment, but does admit that she doesn’t think “it will go the way you want it to”. Renny (literally) bounces in at that moment, and Dan repeats the question. Renny and Keesha have now finally figured out that Michelle and Ollie are together. Wow, that only took two weeks.
Keesha asks what happens if Jerry comes down, and Dan responds that neither of them will go up. Renny’s a quick one, that’s for sure. “You’ll have to put (Michelle) up!” She adds that if he puts her up, she’ll come back and “xxx you in the ass”. Hahahahaha! She’s not any happier when Dan once again says that they just have to trust him.
It’s now that evening, and Ollie is now telling Jerry and Michelle the third part of the deal. Michelle says that “it’s a pretty good deal”. Um, yeah. Jerry’s not so confident. “I think that’s a terrible deal that Ollie made with Dan. I don’t trust anybody in this house that they will live up to their end of a bargain.” There, my friends, is the smartest thing Jerry has said all season. Hats off to you, my friend.
Jerry also points out that they don’t have the votes, since Dan would break a tie vote. “He has us by the balls.” Ollie doesn’t agree. “We got the game in our hands right now.” If Dan doesn’t follow through, Ollie promises that “hell will be unleashed on him”
After commercials, it’s time for “America’s vote”. CBS put up a poll to see who would receive a phone call, and you can see Renny and Jerry’s eyes light up. Luckily, we can’t see Manchelle’s eyes, as she has her hands in front of them praying that she wins. Keesha doesn’t show much emotion, but cries in the diary room about the prospect of talking to her parents.
Michelle runs off into the bedroom to cry, and Renny goes in to comfort her. Ugh, we get to see her cry some more in the diary room. “OMG, I would be so grateful to America, because I think of everybody in the house I’m the one that’s by them self the most.” Jerry also comes in to cheer her up. Jerry also cries in the diary room while talking about how he hasn’t been away from his wife for this long.
It’s now the following morning, and a phone that has been placed in the living room begins to ring. Michelle is putting on jewelry, and after gathering everybody in the living room starts wondering if they should answer it. Ugh. Finally, she does, and it’s Jerry’s daughter. The phone is handed on one end to Jerry, with his great-grandson grabbing the other end. He completely breaks down when his wife takes the phone.
Michelle then starts to cry as Jerry concludes the call. Funny thing is that some people were bitching afterwards that he didn’t tell his wife that he loved her, when he clearly ended the call that way. (We also don’t see Michelle’s temper tantrum that she threw the rest of the day because she didn’t get the call.)
With the sap portion of the show out of the way, we now see Memphis join Keesha and Dan in the HOH. Keesha asks if Memphis thinks Michelle would vote him out. “If you would have asked me two weeks ago, I would have said no. If you had asked me last week, I would have said I don’t think so. You ask me this week, and I have no fucking clue.”
Keesha then asks who Michelle would have put up if she had won HOH. “Not Ollie”, says Dan. They quickly figure out that two of the four of them (including Renny) would be up in that scenario. Memphis answers Dan’s question about the best scenario with “Michelle goes home”. Dan says in the diary room that Michelle is a “tough competitor”, so why should he not send her home? For that to happen, though, somebody has to win veto.
It’s now time to pick players for the veto competition. Dan pulls out Renny, Memphis gets Keesha, and Jerry gets “player’s choice” and picks Michelle. Dan’s not happy, but Jerry explains that it’s his best move since Michelle would remove him from the block, and Dan could not put up Ollie.
Obviously, Ollie’s not happy that he wasn’t picked, so he heads upstairs to “reassure the deal”. Dan says that Ollie “must be crazy” to think he’s going to follow through with the third part of the deal.
For the actual competition, everybody is dressed up as astronauts, and brought out onto a set that looks like Mars. Silly Big Brother. Dan babbles about how he always wanted to be an astronaut. Think that was scripted?
The contest involves “floating” across the surface and picking out puzzle pieces. The winner is the person who puts their puzzle together first. There’s two heats, though, and the winners of each will face each other for the veto.
Dan says that (as usual), his plan is to not win. He wants Keesha to win the first heat. Michelle babbles that she’s “hanging on a thread”, so she has to ensure that she survives by winning veto. She goes on and on about how she was making herself move across the fastest, but it’s really not that interesting. Dan explains her best – “what she has in strength she lacks in brain power”. Hahahahahah! Hahahhahaha!
Sure enough, she struggles with the puzzle, despite the fact that she claims she’s “really good with puzzles. That’s what I do at home all the time.” Didn’t some other twit make that same claim last year?
Keesha, meanwhile, says that she figured out the puzzle right away, and she’s way ahead of the other two when she gets the last piece in place.
The second heat features Memphis, Jerry, and Renny. Memphis knows he has to win it, and Jerry also again says “my life is on the line”. Renny is having fun, especially since she gets to wear a costume.
Jerry’s age is clearly a hindrance, though, as we see him struggling with the pieces. Again, though, he’s great at puzzles in his own mind, even though Memphis is waaaayyyyyy ahead of him. Yes, Memphis wins.
In the final heat, Ollie says he’s happy because he “knows” he gets a final say in the veto meeting. Dan also is happy, saying “I couldn’t have orchestrated this thing any better”. Keesha struggles this time around, and Memphis easily wins. Ollie still thinks that Dan has to replace Memphis with either Renny or Keesha, and giggles in anticipation. Dan promises that they’ll be shocked with what actually does happen.
After commercials, Dan and Memphis celebrate by bouncing around the HOH. Memphis asks if Michelle is still the target, but is concerned by the hostility that will be created if Michelle is nominated. Oh, if you could only see the future, Mr. Mixologist.
As they continue to talk, Keesha rings the bell. Dan now informs her of part three of the deal. Renny also comes in just as Keesha figures out that either her or Keesha are now supposed to go up. Renny can’t believe her ears, and Memphis jokes that “Dan is not very good at negotiating”. Dan tells them that they can’t let Ollie know what he’s going to do, and that they “better have my back” when it goes down. “You’re going to need protection”, laughs Renny.
Later that night, Ollie asks to talk to Dan. He says in the diary room that he’s now not completely sure that Dan will follow through. Dan tells Ollie that he’s trying to talk Memphis out of using the veto, and Ollie responds that he wants Keesha to go up when the veto is used.
It’s now almost time for the veto meeting, and we see Dan watching the spy cam in the HOH. He says in the diary room that “no matter what happens, somebody is going to be mad at me. In order to take the attention off me, I’m going to have to cause drama and fights between everyone else in the house.”
He decides to turn the veto ceremony into a game, and calls Michelle up to the HOH. He says that in the veto meeting, he’s going to ask everybody who they think should be the replacement nominee, and that he wants each houseguest’s name brought up. “That’s going to make an enemy, possibly, out of the person sitting across from them.” Hmmm, that’s an interesting theory. He asks Michelle who she would want out, and she says Keesha. He then cons Ollie into promising to say Renny.
Renny and Keesha are then brought up and asked the same question. Keesha agrees to say Michelle, but Renny’s not happy with this plan. “I think it’s a copout. You really don’t want to make a decision, so you’re making it look like Keesha and I are doing it for you.” He then tells her that Ollie and Michelle are going to say their names, and Renny now gets fired up enough to say that she’ll do it. Dan thinks that he’ll be able to sit in the HOH and watch the fireworks that ensue.
We now get to see Memphis perform the scripted portion of the ceremony. Ollie still thinks he’s “in the driver’s seat”, while Dan says when he woke up he knew he had to stir things up to take some of the “eyes off me”.
Everybody is brought in, and after Jerry babbles about how he doesn’t expect Memphis to use it on him, Memphis indeed takes himself off the block. Dan then gets up, and says how as HOH he’s already made two people mad at him, and now a third. But…”everybody in this house knows I like to have some fun, and I have fun by playing games. Right now, we’re going to play a game - a very high stakes game that I like to call ‘replacement nominee roulette”. You can see the blood drain from Ollie’s face. Oh wait, actually it’s going back into his head as his rage intensifies.
The rules are that Dan is going to ask everybody to truthfully name who they want as the replacement nominee, and if anybody refuses to answer then they will go up. Michelle is first, and names Keesha. Ollie says Renny, and Keesha then says Michelle “since my name was thrown out there”. Renny does the same to Ollie. Jerry sits confused.
After babbling about gambling and losing bets, Dan says that Ollie lost the bet so Michelle’s on the block. WTF? Even after knowing how this went down, I’m confused. So is everybody else.
Michelle is completely confused. “How did I get backdoored for somebody else’s veto? I swear to God that if I find out he’s a plant (Dan), which I know he is…seriously, do you think I’m stupid? Do I have stupid written on my head? If you don’t think that I don’t know what the fuck is going on here. Then you have another thing coming.”
Dan is now seen patting himself on the back in the diary room. “Wow, I surprised myself with that one. I’ve been playing this game very passive, laying low, but when the opportunity presents itself to take a big shot in this game, you have to take it. I just lit a fuse to the dynamite, and I walked away.”
Ollie is seen throwing a bottle, and in the diary room he says “if he wanted a circus, he got a circus. He’s done nothing in this game but piss people off. For him to disrespect me in the way he did, I’ll guarantee you that it’s rectified before I leave here.” During that statement, we see him smash an outdoor light fixture.
Wow, I really wish that we could have seen more of Michelle’s rants, especially when she screamed at the cameras to stop filming her. They BETTER show more of this on Thursday!

Sunday
Aug242008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 18 Recap

Welcome to a Big Brother episode that promises to be one that will make you shake your head in disbelief at least once. The over/under for my head shakes is five, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it reaches a full dozen.
We start with the beginning of the HOH contest, and Ollie is perplexed with Julie’s last statement before they’re swung into the padded wall. “What’s she talking about?” Memphis says he needs to win, but he’s comfortable with either Dan or Keesha winning. Ollie also says it’s a “do or die” situation, and then quotes a Tupac song that describes how he’s “all alone” in the house. That’s a phrase you may hear a few times tonight.
Instead of the person you expect to lead into the reaction to April’s eviction, it’s Michelle babbling about revenge that leads to replay of her leaving the house. Ollie whines about how April “is one of the only people I’ve let get close to me in my entire life”. Oh, please. We get it; you’re upset that the booty calls are over. Why don’t you hook up with Michelle? Ooooh, perish that visual.
Obviously, Keesha was happy to see her leave, as was Renny. “As far as I’m concerned, my HOH reign was a success.” Dan adds that her $5,000 bribe was a joke. “I’m not here for five thousand. I’m here for five hundred thousand.”
We see April whisper to Ollie that she’ll miss him, and Keesha wonders how he’ll handle the house without her. He says that his plan “is to go all the way to the end”. Um, yeah. That’s the point of the game. “I don’t think I’ve performed up to par to this point of the game, and I now have to take it to the next level.” That’s the most honest sentence you’ve had all season.
We’re back to the HOH competition, and Memphis and Keesha both babble nonsense. Dan adds that while they’re having fun, it’s still a serious game. Jerry, though, is not handling this game well and he complains about the rope “cutting into his groin”. I really don’t need to hear about that. Dan babbles something about the position of his legs helping the crotch and leg problem.
Jerry’s had enough, and he leaps to the ground. Poor old guy. He reminds Renny again that he’s 75, but “I did pretty good”. No, you really didn’t, considering you were the first down after only 30 or so minutes.
It’s now time for Michelle to complain, as she gets hit by a balloon that the others are tossing back and forth. “The innocent bystander is the one who always gets hurt.” Memphis says she needs to chill out.
We jump ahead to an hour into the competition, and Keesha suddenly drops. Memphis is not happy. “I counted on at least a decent effort from her.” She’s also upset, and hopes that Ollie and Michelle “fall on their behinds”. Her and Renny both notice that Dan’s got a serious look on his face.
We continue to see them slam into the wall, and those on the sidelines notice that Michelle’s beginning to struggle. Of course, she needs to exaggerate her pain. “It was like hitting a cement wall every time.” After another hard hit, she drops off and collapses. Well, she claims that she was “ripped off my seat”.
Ollie knows that he needs to win, and Memphis is now convinced that it’s going to work out for them. At the three hour mark, Michelle notices that Memphis is starting to struggle, and we hear him complain about the pain in his legs. Yep, moments later he falls.
It’s down to Dan and Ollie. “I won’t go home”, says Ollie as we head to commercials. When we return, Dan says that he’s “feeling pretty good” because Ollie is shaking whenever they are hit by rain. He tells Ollie that the only reason he’s still up there is his girlfriend, Monica. “I love my peeps, too, though”, Ollie responds.
Dan then asks “what do you want?” Ollie says that he wants to win, and he won’t put Dan up. Dan’s counter-offer is that he promises Ollie won’t go up, even if somebody wins the veto.
They continue to negotiate, so Dan asks “what else can I give you?” Ollie just answers “myself”. Dan claims that his goal is to appear weak, and the best way to do that is to hand Ollie all of his HOH power. “The blood this week will all be in his hands.” Um, you’re a dope.
He does just that, telling Ollie that he can protect somebody, pick a nominee, and choose the veto. WTF? Ollie can’t even believe it. In the diary room, Ollie is all smiles. Wouldn’t you?
Ollie throws out Michelle’s name, and Keesha is not happy with what she’s barely overhearing. Ollie jumps down, and in the diary room announces that we’re looking at the week seven HOH, but “I just don’t have the title, or the pictures in my room. But right now I’m calling the shots.”
Dan says in the diary room that he knows he made “one of the worst deals in Big Brother history…and I couldn’t be more excited. I feel very confident that it’s going to all work out for me in the end.” We’ll see about that.
Keesha and Memphis head into the storage room, and she informs Memphis that he “made a funky ass deal”. Memphis thinks that Dan will put up Jerry and Michelle, but Keesha’s not so sure. See, she’s not so dumb after all!
Meanwhile, Ollie is telling Michelle everything about their deal. Everything…which he wasn’t supposed to do. At first, Michelle just thinks that the deal was for Dan to be safe next week. “Nothing about next week. It’s all this week.” Michelle’s eyes almost pop out of her head. Seriously, it was similar to a Looney Tunes cartoon.
Dan admits to Memphis that he made a bad deal, but promises to tell him about it later. Memphis heads into the bedroom, and informs Renny and Keesha that he did indeed make a deal. In a diary room interview, Memphis says that he’s pissed off because he thought that his alliance with Dan was solid.
After more commercials, we get to see Dan’s HOH room. It’s a bit of a letdown after Renny’s emotional entrance last week. They all notice Monica, though, which leads Memphis to talk about how she’s got a “pretty tight chain” on him. “You wouldn’t catch me dead with a ‘taken’ shirt on.” Dan adds that the pictures of her are a reminder as to why he’s in the house. He uses the letter from her to “turn on the fake tears”. Well, he turns them on a bit too much if you ask me, but Renny is touched that he’s such a “sensitive person”.
I guess it’s time for a cheesy segment. Everybody is lying around in the living room, and Renny is perplexed that Dan can’t answer a “simple question” about how many women he’s dated. Is this old footage?
After that segment is finally over, we move on to Ollie visiting Dan in the HOH. Before he answers, Dan grabs a beer out of his fridge and says “a little bribery” to the camera. Ollie wants to reiterate the deal they made in the competition, and they both agree on Jerry. But Ollie also wants Memphis up, and Dan admits in the diary room it’s a “huge risk”.
Memphis is now shown joining Dan outside, and the first thing he asks is if Ollie was trying to get him put up. Dan sighs, and finally informs him of the deal. “He might as well be HOH”, complains Memphis. “You’re doing exactly what he wants to do, and he gets to play next week.” Dan tells him that he just has to trust him.
Keesha now joins Dan in the HOH, after we hear that “all I need is two votes”. He says he has to ensure those two votes before he puts his good friend “in the line of fire”. Keesha is asked about “solidifying” the four of them as an alliance, and she says they are the only four she cares about anyway. She admits, though, that she can’t promise that Renny will keep Memphis to the end.
Right on cue, Renny heads upstairs, and Dan jumps in on making the four “official”. Renny wants to know exactly who is the “final four”? She comes right out and says she doesn’t trust Memphis, but eventually agrees to the deal. Dan admits that Renny is the loose screw of his plan, but ends up asking her to come up with a name for their little club.
Memphis is still not happy, and tells Dan that he can’t understand why he should be put up. “Why would you put the only person in your alliance on the block? Especially when you don’t control it.” Dan responds that he has it under control.
Before we head to the final commercial break, we see Dan talking to his picture of Monica. I don’t think there’s any doubt that Dan is performing for the cameras here, as he “debates” doing what he’s supposed to do, or putting up Ollie and Michelle.
As Dan stares at the wall of pictures, we hear both Michelle and Memphis whine about Dan’s deal. What they both say has been heard earlier in the show, so there’s no need to repeat it here. Ollie also repeats what he said just a few minutes ago, and then Dan says exactly what the script wants him to say as we see him put in the keys.
Before he pulls the first key, Dan informs everybody that a deal was struck the night before. Dan, everybody already knows that. The first key belongs to Ollie, and the next ones pulled belong to Renny, Keesha, and Michelle. Dan tells Memphis that a “lot of people wonder where you stand. Some people may look at you as a vagabond. I may call you a renegade. We’ll find out.” He tells Jerry that this nomination has nothing to do with the “Judas thing”, and goes on to babble nonsense about “first downs” and “game overs”.
Jerry’s reaction is the same as last week – “it never feels good to be nominated”. Ollie says that although everybody knows there is a deal, they don’t know “how much power I have” (yes, they do). Dan babbles about “calculated risk” and their “hidden Renegade alliance”. Ugh. We see Memphis refuse a handshake as he adds how pissed that he is. “If my faith relies on Father Dan, then God help us all.”
So that’s it for tonight’s episode, but I have to add a major complaint. I’m shocked at the edits that some people received tonight. Sure, for the sake of the plot they didn’t include Memphis talking with the other three in his alliance. Fine, I get that. But what I don’t get is that ever since the HOH competition, we’ve heard nothing but hate speech from Ollie, Michelle, and Jerry. None of that was shown tonight. In fact, Michelle and Jerry were almost absent from the whole show. Maybe in place of some of the other unnecessary segments we could get one of Michelle and her wild theories. People need to see just how bonkers she is.

Thursday
Aug212008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 17 Recap

It’s shaping up to be a sad, sad evening for us Big Brother fans, as those mean houseguests are all set to give the boot to America’s Princess. Yes, I’m talking about April, the prettiest girl in the house, who is bound to jump right out of reality television and onto the covers of People, Cosmo, and Maxim.
Oh, who am I kidding? This is a triumphant night, as we finally will be rid of her pale, smug face. After weeks or orchestrating almost every move in the house, yet not acknowledging any of her shenanigans, she’ll (hopefully) finally discover that America does not lover her after all. (And with Jerry also on the block, expect extremely dumb statements before the vote.)
Before we get to that, though, we have to begin the show as we always do – the reactions to Dan’s decision to not use the veto. Wow, the glimpse of the house is sort of strange tonight. Everybody looks pissed off about something. Something must have gone down in the last couple of hours.
Back to the ramifications of the veto meeting – Dan’s pretty proud of himself for bringing up the money situation, but April feels she did no wrong as she never offered him a specific amount of money. Jerry says he made no monetary offers, and is “surprised that April offered him money”. He says he’s going to stay calm since Renny has said that April is her target this week.
Drama Queen Michelle has to make a big deal how “once again, (it’s) another crazy veto meeting! Who offered Dan the money? Was it April, or was it Jerry?” She’s going to get to the bottom of this, though, and make sure that person is GONE! Ugh, I swear she didn’t get any farther in school than Jethro Bodine.
Michelle immediately starts grilling the people in the house, but for some reason begins with Renny. “Talk to him”, is her response. Keesha’s standing right next to her, so she repeats the question and gets the same response. As usual, she goes round and round, repeating herself over and over.
She moves on to Dan, and babbles about how he “called out them”. Wouldn’t it be “called them out”? Dan says he didn’t say it to expose them, which perplexes Michelle. Keesha and Memphis come in, and Keesha says she thinks that both Jerry and April offered bribes. Michelle says she saw April’s face, and the look she gave meant that it wasn’t her. Um, no, you silly twit. She was the one who did it, and thought she was going to be exposed. For somebody that’s always supposedly figuring out what’s going on in the house, she really has no clue. In the diary room, she again repeats how she thinks it was Jerry, and that he “needs to leave the game”.
Dan is now in the pool with Keesha and Memphis lounging nearby. Keesha tells them that there is “no way” she can change her vote. “I can’t have April stay”, she says in the diary room. She says she’d be an idiot to let her stay. Memphis agrees, even though he “can’t stand Jerry…people need to start assuming what’s going on, and believe what’s in front of you.”
It’s now night time, and April is now feeling sorry for herself. “I haven’t done anything. They have no reason to put me on the block. None. Zero. I haven’t done anything to them. I haven’t turned on them. Nothing, but do dishes and make cakes and give people stuff.” Now that’s an award-winning speech. For the first time ever, Ollie looks somewhat disinterested, but that quickly changes as he begins agreeing to every insane thing she says about how Dan and Michelle should welcome her presence with open arms. It’s all because Keesha’s jealous of her, she says, and “America” would look poorly at Dan if he didn’t vote for her.
In the bedroom, Ollie and April now grill Michelle about what the others are planning on doing with this eviction. “Not one person has said anything to me.” Um, they usually can’t get a word in when you’re around. Ollie tells Michelle that “keeping her here is the best for you”. Michelle agrees, especially after they say they’ll never put her up.
Ollie is now shooting baskets with Dan, and Ollie makes his case to keep April around by telling him how much they like him, and that he’s never been a target. Um, how about last week when you were so pissed about the Jessie vote? Ollie promises Dan that they won’t put him up. Hey Ollie, if you get HOH you do have to put up two people. Stop making promises you can’t keep.
Now it’s April’s turn. Ugh, what’s a repeater? She starts by asking if Jerry offered him some money, and then in turn says she’ll give him cash for his vote. He’s, as usual, non-committal, but says he’ll think about it. April suddenly does feel a little more comfortable.
After a commercial break, we get to hear from April and Ollie’s families regarding their “showmance”. Oh boy. This could be interesting if they did an honest segment, but I know this will be completely sugar-coated. After some sappy love-talk in the pool, we head to Ollie’s church in Des Moines. Yeah, we get it – he’s full of morals, principles, and integrity. Oh God, April says that Arizona has “millions of me”. Remind me to never visit.
That’s the cue to visit April’s family. Her sister “awww’s” at some of their pillow talk, and we hear how they were inseparable as kids. She does admit that April was the dominant twin, which seems pretty obvious even after just ten seconds of her sister talking. Wait, she’s attracted to Ollie because “he’s a lot like me”? Oh, and thank you for explaining what a showmance is. Sheeesh! Why don’t they show Ollie’s father the late-night footage? Now that would be great TV! Instead we get the phony marriage proposal.
Thank God that’s over. We go to the living room, and I guess it’s not a surprise that Julie’s first question is to Ollie. For some reason, though, it’s about the stupid crows. Dammit, there are better things to ask him! Oh well, it seems to cut the tension in the room a bit.
Dan is next up, and Julie congratulates him for winning the veto. Yeah, he was excited to win. We get it. Renny’s reaction to the pictures is the next question, and she breaks down again by talking about seeing her parent’s pictures. To round off this game of softball, Jerry is now asked how he handles being on slop. He babbles about having an “open mind”. Say what?
Oh wait, there’s one last question. Memphis is asked who he would bring back if he could. His answer is Brian, “just for giggles”. What about Angie? I’m sure this question will get everybody talking later tonight.
Renny is now up in the HOH, and the first question is about how she became such a serious competitor after winning HOH. Does the rest of the house underestimate her play? “I hope they have”, she answers. “I have different sides to me, but what you see in this house is the real Renny.” Like all of the HOH’s this year, she continues on long past when she should conclude her thoughts.
She’s next asked about Memphis, and she admits she’s “been wary of Memphis from day one. I really would like to see him go. I believe he thinks he has the game won already. He’s a shrewd man.”
Renny returns to the living room, and April is up first with the final speech. She babbles about how grateful she is to have met everybody, and she’ll “treasure every single moment”. Again, she copies Angie’s speech about playing for them selves.
Jerry then gets up, and says he’s enjoyed his stay in the house despite the slop. If evicted, he’ll depart with no “sorry grapes”. Again, we hear about how he always keeps his word.
Keesha begins the voting, and obviously votes to evict April. Memphis does the same, but Ollie votes against Jerry. Dan acts like he’s going to say Jerry’s name, but catches himself and votes against April. Michelle is the final vote, but as with everything she’s done in the house, it’s meaningless. She votes against April anyway.
When we return from commercials, Julie announces the decision. She handles it better than expected, although I thought she was going to trip over her stripper heels. We see a few seconds of everybody doing nothing in the house, before we begin the interview.
Julie’s first question is about her relationship with Keesha, but April claims she has “nothing bad to say” about her. “My first instinct was to trust her, but then she turned on me.” She claims to have no idea why Keesha turned on her.
Of course, we have to hear her gush about Ollie. She hopes she wasn’t evicted because the two of them isolated themselves from the rest of the house. She claims they’ll remain together after the show, and the marriage proposal was a “joke”. Again, why not show some “special” footage.
In the goodbye messages, Dan says that her ambition and relationship with Ollie hurt her. Renny tells her that she’s an “amazing woman”. Keesha babbles how they never found their “middle ground”, and Ollie promises that she’ll be his “main motivation”. He adds that when they see each other after the show he wants to know if she’ll be…his “first girlfriend”. The answer is yes. Ugh.
As you may expect, it’s now time for the HOH competition, and as predicted it’s an endurance competition. The contest is called “King of the Jungle”, and the winner is the person who lasts the longest on their “jungle vine”. Dan appears to be the smartest person here, as he’s bundled up in a jacket to protect himself from the “rain” that’s being poured on them. Dumb Michelle complains about her hair, and we then see the vines being moved.
Oooh, Julie ends the show by telling us that next week there will be a double eviction. That will be fun. Please make it Michelle! Hahahaha! We end with the sound of birds, and Ollie looks worried. The vines then begin swinging violently into the "jungle". This contest probably won't last too long.

Tuesday
Aug192008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 16 Recap

Ah, here we are with the second episode of Renny’s Rules. What a wacky, somewhat unpredictable week we’ve had. Look for tonight’s episode to be pretty similar to Sundays…with one other person actually playing the part of the doubting Renny.
Of course, we must start with the reactions to the nominations. April’s devastated look is priceless. It really should be made into a t-shirt. Jerry reminds us once again that he’s a former Marine, and that experience has somehow gotten him this far in the game. Renny tells us that although Jerry’s on the block, “April is my target…(she) is a big threat in this game”.
April explains that although everybody says they’re not taking the game personally, people really do. “This whole game is personal. I’d be a liar if I said it didn’t hurt.” Well, I’ll call you a liar anyway. Luckily, she has Ollie, who believes it was his conversation with Renny that saved him from the block, to comfort her.
Memphis and Dan are not happy that Ollie isn’t up against April. “Renny had a shot to break up the most powerful couple in the house”, complains Dan, “and she didn’t. There’s something strange about these nominations. It leads me to believe that Renny made some sort of secret deal with Ollie.”
In the storage room, the two boys babble about doing whatever it takes to ensure that April is evicted. “Neither of them can win POV”, says Dan, “or one of us will go up. She is not putting Ollie up.”
The sad piano music hits as April begins to feel sorry for herself. Ollie says he’s going to win POV, because then neither of them will be up on the block. “A lot can happen from here. They couldn’t have put a better person up for you to go against.” He tells her that she can’t remain in this funk if she’s going to survive, but April tells him that “they need to see me upset for a couple of minutes. I have to look vulnerable to these people right now.” They end up having a silly little spat.
Upstairs, Renny welcomes Keesha into the HOH. Keesha asks how she’s doing, and Renny tells her that she did what SHE wanted to do. “I like Ollie, so I couldn’t see putting him up on the block.” Keesha looks a bit perplexed…but then again, when doesn’t she? Keesha says she’s worried that if either of the two wins the veto, then she, Dan, or Memphis could end up going up. It doesn’t help when Renny says “people shouldn’t really feel safe”.
Ugh, they’re playing silly background music, so you know this will be a silly segment. It’s Jerry babbling nonsense about being so bored that he’s talking to himself. Yes, we know you miss your family (and your puppy), but so is everybody else.
Wow, it’s already time to start the veto competition segment. Dan says the “one name I don’t want to see come out of that bag is Ollie, because that gives April a shot to come off the block”.
Renny pulls a name first, and it’s Dan. Ollie says it’s a “necessity” that he is one of the other two names drawn. April picks Keesha, though, and Jerry gets…you guess it, Ollie. April can’t hide a smile. Renny then picks the worst person to host the contest – Michelle.
We now see April’s blurred-out ass pounce on Ollie as they celebrate. “I don’t think they’re too happy about that”, says Ollie. You think? “Please be something physical.” April practices her little princess routine. “Come on, fate. Fate, fate, fate.” Ugh.
Meanwhile, Dan, Memphis, and Keesha are complaining about Ollie’s name being selected. “The worst case scenario is Ollie winning”, says Mr. Obvious Dan. All three are worried that they could go up, especially Memphis. “I said from day one that that woman is a loose cannon.”
After commercials, we finally have the competition, and it’s some sort of haunted house theme. Ollie immediately freaks out when he sees a live python. Actually, he freaks out more when he sees a crow. “I came this close to wetting my pants.”
Part of the set includes voodoo dolls representing each of the contestants. Renny says she’s not crazy about “seeing pins sticking in me. I know some people in New Orleans who do that. Voodoo is quite real.”
Manchelle then attempts something that’s clearly tough for her to accomplish – read the rules. Everybody has five minutes to look at the entire set, and Dan says he “knows it has something to do with numbers”. April sticks her hand in a case of cockroaches, but Keesha says she couldn’t do it. Jerry says he’s going “to fight like hell to win, because I’m a scrapper. I’m like a street fighter.” Are you? April also babbles nonsense about Ollie saving her. Why don’t you concentrate on saving yourself?
Everybody then stands behind their podiums to answer questions regarding the set. It’s a bit convoluted, as they all have to write a numeric answer, and then decide to “play” or “fold”.
The first question is about the length of the python. Ollie, April, Dan, and Keesha all bow out of this question, and Renny is out as Jerry is closest to the correct answer. April says “it was extremely exciting” seeing her drop out.
The next question is about how many pins are stuck in all of the voodoo dolls. Ollie folds, but says he maybe should have stayed in. Dan also folds, and April is now out. It really is all on Ollie’s shoulders.
The number of cockroaches in the tank is the next question, and Keesha says the “only way we knew how many were in there is if we stuck our hands in there”. Yes, she’s in trouble with this question.
Dan acknowledges that his entire game play has been to throw competitions, but he HAS to win this one. Unfortunately, Jerry is only one correct answer away from taking the veto. Jerry folds this time, because he “didn’t want to risk getting knocked out”. Hahahaha! Jerry would have won if he had stayed in this round. Dan gets the point, and Keesha is knocked out.
The next round is about the amount of “blood” in a bunch of containers. Ollie knows immediately that he screwed up since his amount was way above the other two. Dan stays, but Ollie and Jerry bow out. Jerry and Dan are now tied. Poor Ollie is bummed tha this little angel is not happy.
We move on to a question about the number of nails on a bed of nails. Dan’s answer is way below the other two contestants, but all three stay in the round. Dan wins the veto with the closest answer! Jerry says he feels “disheartened”, as does Ollie (“I let her down”). April says she’s now willing to do anything to get Dan to use the veto, but Dan says it’s been his “goal” to break up her and Ollie. For some reason, though, he thinks he may “have to use the veto to get the job done”. Oh come on, Dan, just leave them as they are so we can get rid of April.
After the commercial break, we see Ollie apologize to April, with silly Manchelle adding her two cents. When Michelle leaves to take a shower, the two cuddle but are interrupted by Jerry. They decide to approach Dan, and promise him he won’t go up next week. April ups the ante by saying she’s “going to say, ‘I have $5000’”. In case we forgot, BB thoughtfully shows us a replay of the competition where she won that money before returning to them snuggling.
Dan still wants to use the veto on Jerry so that Ollie can be put up. He arranges to meet with Jerry in the storage room, where Jerry sort of apologizes for last week’s infamous “Judas” comment. Jerry says that if he survives the week, his loyalties next week will lie with those that save him. Dan says he’s considering using it because it will “turn an enemy into a friend”.
Dan’s now outside with Memphis, and they’re again discussing why Renny didn’t put up Ollie. They’re both worried that if Ollie wins HOH next week, they could go up, and Memphis complains that he’s a wild card that can’t be read. Again, Dan reiterates the he wants Ollie put up this week, and in the diary room he says that he’s the one who should go this week because “with bleached-blonde hair, you can see (April) a mile away”. What in the world are you smoking, preacher boy? Ollie hasn’t achieved anything in the game; April has been as much behind every eviction as Libra was.
It looks like he’s about to move on with his plan under the guise of having his hair cut by Renny, but it’s really just another silly segment. He aggravates her, though, by asking if they can say a prayer first. He attempts to get info from her on what she’s going to do, but Renny says “I’m the hairdresser. I don’t need to explain to you what I’m doing.” Dan rambles on in the diary room about how his hair is his “prized possession”, but I don’t think anybody’s buying that. We then see him pray as Renny uses the razor.
Now we have more useless footage, as we see them all amazed and shocked because the table has been exchanged for a smaller version. They all babble about how much the game changes every week. Yeah, we get it.
Finally, some game play. April approaches Dan as he’s sitting in the pool, and she stretches her legs while giggling how much she’s always liked him. Ugh. Dan tells her that he’s always “open to suggestions”. Well, we know April likes to open herself quite a bit, too. At least to Ollie she does. April goes on about how she likes to “always be nice” and similar nonsensical lines, and asks if he’s thought about using the veto. Dan responds that he’s not 100% sure of anything, and after talking about how Jerry gave him the perfect reason to boot him, April says that neither her nor Ollie would go after him, and that she has money she can give him.
Talking to Memphis, Dan says he needs to talk to Renny to find out who she would put up if he did use it. He heads up to the HOH and asks Renny if she made a deal with Ollie. She just responds that she “likes” Ollie. He follows up by asking who she would put up if Jerry was taken down. Renny’s not happy with these questions, and tells him that he would be looked at as a traitor if he did that. Funny thing is they don’t show Dan informing her of April’s bribe, as we all saw in the feeds.
It’s now time for the veto ceremony, and as Dan participates in the scripted portion of the segment we hear from April that her biggest fear is that he uses the veto on Jerry. “More than likely, Ollie would be placed next to me, and I would definitely go home this week.”
Jerry adds that he doesn’t feel safe this week, but he doesn’t believe Dan will use it on April. Obviously, he’s hoping he uses it on him.
Jerry goes first with his speech, and we hear again how he’s 75 years old, and is “set in my ways”. He repeats his line about how in extreme situations he has a “street fighter mentality, and in fact can get nasty”. Once again, he apologizes for the Judas comment.
April doesn’t add much in her speech, basically just congratulating Dan for winning the veto, and “respecting” Renny’s wishes about being nominated.
Dan’s speech begins with thanks for both of them approaching him before the ceremony. “You actually talked to me.” He adds that “one of you did bring an interesting proposition, which did involve money”. Since money is tight, he says he did consider the bribe, so he has decided to…long pause…long pause…”not use the veto”.
In the final diary room segments, Dan says he threw the bribe out there “I wanted to put some doubt in people’s minds about the offering of the money. The more paranoia in the house, outside of me, the better.”
Having never met a cliché that he didn’t like, Jerry talks about being in the “eye of a storm”. For some reason, he thinks the game “will get very violent very soon”. What does that even mean?
Since Plan A didn’t work, Ollie says they have to move to Plan B and “work the mouthpiece”. Oh boy, I could have fun with that line. April once again thinks she’s addressing America, and says she’s going to do what she has to do to survive. “I’m going to be a total bitch!” What a fitting way to end the show.

Sunday
Aug172008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 15 Recap

Welcome to Renny Week; seven days that should be pretty calm and predictable. “Should be” are the key words, though, as any time you put wackos like Michelle, Keesha, April, and Jerry in a house together things could change at any moment.
We begin, as expected, with the reaction to Libra’s eviction. Will somebody cry out, “ding dong, the witch is dead”? Keesha admits that she’s not liked by everybody, but it still feels good to be kept in by a unanimous vote. April claims that she wasn’t sure if she had the four votes, so it made more sense to play it safe.
Michelle, though, has to make it all about her, complaining that she was the one person who didn’t get a hug from Libra as she walked out the door. “Too bad – she took out Jessie so she deserved to go home.”
After Libra’s exit, Keesha wanders around thanking everybody. Jerry, of course, has to make sure she believes it’s because of him. “I told you.” Renny has suddenly become paranoid because every name around her picture has been eliminated. “It makes me look like a target. It stands out.”
We move on to the HOH competition, and we see Renny’s win. Keesha jumps up and says, “give me a hug, Renny”, but a sprinting Michelle jumps in front of her to congratulate Renny. In the diary room, Renny says that the promise of pictures of her mother inspired her to win the contest.
Keesha finally gets her hug, and is ecstatic in her diary room interview. Actually, she even uses the word “ecstatic”, which surprises me. April, however, is not so happy, and she admits in the diary room that she’s probably going to be on the block this week. “This is where the game begins.”
Memphis is almost as happy as Keesha. “Renny winning is the best thing that could happen for me. It’s perfect, perfect, perfect.” Renny is not happy, though, when she overhears Memphis’ plan to move into Keesha’s room. “You get to talk a lot in those rooms – discussing the game every day while I’m upstairs. I believe that Memphis can charm Keesha. It does make him a threat.” She gives Jerry a disgusted nod as he tells her, “good job, kiddo”.
April and Ollie are now seen in the living room, and Ollie seems more upset than April. “Smile”, she says. “It’s just a game.” Jerry joins the two (as usual), and April notes that everybody in the house is noticing his constant presence with the pair.
Meanwhile, Memphis and Keesha are both talking about how Renny’s win allows them a sigh of relief. He tells her that “we could easily make a run for this game”. Oooh, maybe Renny’s not so crazy for being paranoid of these two together.
To rid themselves of Jerry for at least a few minutes, Ollie says he’s tired and asks April if she’ll lay down with him. They walk past Memphis and Keesha, which causes Memphis to ask if he thinks those are the two Renny will put up. Keesha nods an emphatic yes.
April is now in her usual position, straddling Ollie, while complaining about Jerry. She says she’s going to “let it all out if I’m put up against him”. With the three minutes up, Jerry walks in on them. The pretend to sleep so they don’t have to chat with him, but April whispers that both of them need to talk to Renny later. “I really hope she puts me up against Jerry”, she tells him. Ollie adds in the diary room that the plan is to do everything they can to get Jerry put up. So much for alliances.
Renny is sitting in the bedroom with Keesha when Memphis walks in and playfully gives her a shove. They both giggle, which enrages Renny even more. After he walks out with laundry, she asks Keesha what “his story” is. Immediately, Keesha is worried that Renny may not be putting up April. Renny asks if he has promised to take her to the end, and Keesha says no. (Oops, that’s a lie.) Keesha does admit that she’s working to get people “on my side”, but Renny warns her that “he wouldn’t take you to the end, because he wouldn’t win against you”. Keesha responds that nobody would take her to the finals, but Renny quickly corrects her that she would.
In the diary room, Renny says “I’m not a stupid person. I see a lot that goes on.” She tells Keesha that Memphis is a threat; that he’s “very sly…he’s like April”. Keesha agrees, adding that the only difference is “he’s quiet about it”. In the diary room, Keesha admits that she’s getting worried about Renny, and that she needs to “keep her targets on one side of the house”.
After a commercial break, we have the segment that normally I detest – the opening of the HOH room. But as I said the other night as I watched on the live feeds, this is the one time when the tears and sentiment appear to be legit. In the diary room, Renny says she really wishes her parents were alive to see her on television. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see her struggle with the key, but we do see the tears as she immediately catches a glimpse of her mother’s picture.
The boys wait outside to let her have a minute, but it’s not surprising that April and Michelle (along with Keesha) are there to console her. The rest of the house file in, and Jerry says he’s surprised to see a different side of Renny. “She’s so much of a clown, yet there’s a very serious side to her that I hadn’t really seen before.”
After the tears are over, it’s tonight’s wasteful silly segment. April has a stuffed animal, and we get to see everybody play with it. The only good part of this segment is Renny kicking it around. I could be wrong, but I think this segment was from days, if not weeks, ago.
I guess that segment is a segue so we can see just how sad she is knowing she’s probably going up on the block. Ollie asks her if she thinks of him as a friend and not a boyfriend. April doesn’t know how to answer that. This segment could have been filmed any day at any time. Well, it couldn’t be filmed at night, because few words are spoken except where Ollie is supposed to make his “deposit”.
We’re now back in the HOH, where Renny is telling Michelle how much she likes her. “You know that you’re talked about, but I still like you.” Having buttered her up enough, she asks Michelle if she’ll be put up if she wins HOH next week. “Absolutely not.” Michelle claims she’ll swear on the Bible and/or her parents, and that she hasn’t “broken her word” in the house. Renny admits in the diary room that she was working on “reeling her in”, and we see her admit to Michelle that “April has a big target on her back”. Yeah, Ollie hits that target every night.
Renny goes on to say that she’s not comfortable with how some people are starting to act in the house. “Good guys finish last, right? So I’m going to have to sort of get mean in this game”. Michelle eats it all up.
It’s now food competition time, and it’s described as the “Big Brother version of rock/paper/scissors”. The only difference is that it’s done with their mouths, with crickets, pig ears, and slop as the food they will eat if they win the round. Dan wins the first round by selecting crickets, and after saying a prayer he downs the dozen or so on the plate.
Michelle wins the next round, and must do the same. She gobbles it down in seconds, and unfortunately we get a look at her wide open mouth after she’s finished. Jerry then defeats April, and must eat a plate of slop. Damn, this should be easy for him…but it’s not. His teammates, including Memphis, are not happy with his performance, but Jerry eventually downs it all. Or does he? He struggles, but finally does finish.
It’s now Dan and Memphis once again, and this time Memphis must eat pig ears. No problem, although Memphis has trouble swallowing it. Michelle wins the next round, and she gets her favorite delicacy – pig ears. Ugh, I hate the fact we have to witness her chomping away. “Mom, that one was for you.”
April also wins by choosing pig ears, but she says because she’s a vegetarian she “hasn’t eaten pork since I was 13 years old”. Jerry hopes that she can’t finish them, because he’s been on slop for 18 days. April has no problem, and the team of her, Dan, Keesha, and Michelle are not on slop for the week. Too bad for Memphis, Ollie, and Jerry…but America has voted they get one treat. Unfortunately for them (and hilarious for us), it’s lollipops. Ollie claims to be excited.
Time for another wasted segment – Ollie is scared of birds. Again, this is ancient footage. Yes, it’s funny when he sneaks back inside when he sees them, but I could still live without out it.
Ok, time for actual game play. Dan comes up to the HOH, and asks Renny if he’s in danger. “I may need you to go up as a pawn.” She tells him that she’s trying to after “the trio without making too many enemies”. Dan’s not happy with this plan, but she “has to do what she has to do”. He reminds her that he, Memphis, and Keesha are definite votes towards whomever she wants out.
They’re now joined by Memphis, and he says “get the hell out of here” when she asks him the pawn question. “I’m not ok with being a pawn for anybody. It’s not a risk; it’s a mistake.” Memphis pushes for April and Ollie to be put up, because Jerry is the weakest of the three, and he points out that he and Dan would be Jerry’s targets if he somehow wins HOH next week. Renny points out that “he put my ass on the block”.
Now Keesha and Michelle come in, and Renny also asks them if they’re willing to be pawns. Renny repeats what she’s already said twice, and again Memphis points out that there’s now way there will be a split decision regarding Jerry, April, or Ollie. Renny is suddenly concerned about Ollie’s thoughts, and sends Michelle to get him.
Once Ollie appears, Renny begins to question him but eventually sends the rest of the crew out. She won’t say who she’s putting up, but informs him that a lot of people want to see April gone. Ollie says if that happens, he’s not “throwing in the towel. We’re not here just to make a relationship.” Why have you yet to show that, Ollie? Renny admits that she wants Ollie to stay, but Ollie makes a pitch at putting anybody but April up…including Jerry.
So it’s now time for Renny’s nominations, and I’m again surprised at what we’ve seen tonight. Instead of the silly stuffed animal and/or “Ollie loves April” segments, we could have seen April’s pleas to Renny, or Ollie’s second, last-second attempt to save themselves.
Oh well, as Renny looks at the wall of pictures, we get to hear Dan once again talk about how you never know what’s going to happen. April admits that she expects to be put up, but “it’s hard to swallow since I am such a nice person.” (Hey anonymous April lovers, please read that last line.) Ollie is also worried, and has finally realized that “being attached to April is not playing out well in my corner”.
Keesha says she’s also worried because of all the talk about putting Memphis up. “I love Renny to death, but her thinking sometimes is completely off the wall.” Memphis again adds that putting him up as a pawn is a “mistake” unless “you want to make me as an enemy”.
As she puts the keys in, Renny tells us that it’s “time to shake up the house a little bit…nobody’s going to make decisions for me”.
Finally, the keys are pulled. Dan’s comes out first, followed by Keesha, Ollie, Memphis, and Michelle. The nominations are Jerry and April. Tell me how that “shakes up the house”.
Renny says she nominated April because “you are the most ‘tough-cooking’ woman I’ve ever met”. April is clearly not happy…but who would be? She tells Jerry that he’s up because he put her on the block way back in week one.
Keesha doesn’t understand why she put up Jerry instead of Ollie, but Renny again tells us that it’s “payback” for the first week. Jerry also states the obvious, saying that it’s not a good feeling to be nominated. “Man, they turn on you in a second.” Of all people, he should know that. “My attitude is big boys don’t cry.”
April says that she excited that Ollie wasn’t put up against her. “I’m hoping that people will start seeing that Jerry is a floater, and to possibly get him to blow up on somebody.” That may be the smartest thing she’s said all season.
We’re now finished…see you Tuesday!

Thursday
Aug142008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 14 Recap

Welcome to eviction night, aka the evening our weeklong nightmare of Michelle as HOH is over. Of course, it could be even worse in an hour if one of a couple of different suspects ends up taking her place in that hallowed room.
Before we get to that, though, we have a lot of material to endure before we find out who is the next HOH, and the contestants have done a great job at creating material designed to make us question who will be evicted this evening. I wonder if CBS had a hand in raising these inquiries. Oh no, they’d never manipulate a game show.
Let’s jump right in with the reactions to Jerry’s insane POV speech. Libra is actually quite funny when she sarcastically asks if Jerry had received the “Big Brother manual. Big Brother is not a game of honor, trust, and loyalty. This is not the Marines.” Renny adds that “the Colonel” ends up looking worse than Dan when he personally attacks others like he did.
Dan stands up, and babbles about how people can believe whatever they want, which makes Libra repeat the phrase “it’s a game” over and over as she walks away.
We now see Memphis in the HOH with Michelle holding his hands over his head in disbelief. “What was that all about?” Michelle lies and acts like she was worried he was going to use the veto, but feed watchers know he rehearsed his speech with her right before the ceremony. “It was just unnecessary”, he adds. “I think it was unnecessary.”
Libra walks into the spa room, where Dan and Keesha are hanging out, and apologizes for some reason for Jerry calling him a “Judas”. Dan acts like he’s depressed in the diary room, but suddenly screams out that “it can’t get any BETTER for me”. Well, not really, Dan, as the entire house believes your America’s Player. He believes the entire house has sympathy for him…which they don’t. Well, they probably did during his speech, but in this season that’s all forgotten within minutes.
At the end of this conversation, Keesha says that she’s not going to hate Michelle if she gets evicted, leading Libra to say “you’re not going to get evicted. I can bet my last dollar on it.” I guess it’s time to jump to a conversation that puts that statement in doubt, especially after Keesha responds with “that’s what Jessie thought, too”.
Oh yes, Big Brother’s editors don’t disappoint. April is now seen bitching to Ollie how she “can’t trust Keesha as far as I can throw the bitch”. Yeah, that wouldn’t be too far for that scrawny little twit. April points out that she is just as much at fault as Libra in the Jessie eviction, and Ollie does his usual game of agreeing with anything she says. At least in this case there’s some truth in the statements. (BTW, nice cam angle on Keesha in a bikini.)
Memphis and Dan are now seen sitting outside, and they complain to Keesha about how bored they are. Keesha babbles something about needing somebody’s back, and Memphis responds that “I’ve got your back, darling…I’d jump in front of a bullet for you”. Oh, I bet Christine wishes that was directed at her. After she goes back in the house, Memphis points out that they have free sailing “for at least two weeks” if they follow Keesha and Renny. Dan agrees, and says he has some dumb names ready for their alliance. They both agree that Renny is the wild card of their group.
Now we cut back to Ollie and April snuggling in the bedroom, and continuing to plot Keesha’s demise. They know they have Jerry’s support in anything they do, and decide to ask him to vote out Keesha. “He’s going to attach himself to people so he can be a swing vote. He’s playing both sides.”
Ollie then approaches Libra and asks if she wants to “still be here”. He tells her that they want to flip the house again because “Keesha is getting way too complacent”. (Is that the proper use of the term?) He asks her if she’s close to Dan, but she replies that she doesn’t know where she stands with him.
After a dumb analog about being a heart attack patient and Dan’s her defibrillator, she approaches Dan in the kitchen. April’s stripper heels walk a few feet away, and Libra makes her pitch. After complaining that he’s talking to loud, Libra talks about possibly having a “ninth life”. Dan says he needs more information, and Libra says there could be once again a split vote. In the diary room, Dan acts like he’s considering the offer, especially since Libra being in the house would remain a huge target. Still, he’s pretty noncommittal.
Oh boy, for the first time in this season we get the useless diary room discussions on both nominees. I don’t really miss this feature, and true to form it’s really a useless repeat of everything we’ve heard from everybody all week. I do cringe when April complains how she “feels bad for America” because they have to listen to Keesha’s voice. Well, I’m no fan of it either, but April really needs to stop believing she’s America’s Angel.
After the break, we go to a puff piece with Libra’s family. What’s interesting is that as an intro they’re using the conversation she had with Dan that started the conspiracy theorists believing that Dan and Libra were brought into the house together as a team. Libra’s husband is shown giving one of the twins a bath, and talks about how he encouraged her to sign up for the show “to have an experience”. He goes on to talk about how Libra’s mother is such a help, and (after a short statement from her oldest child) we cut to footage of Libra crying over her kids.
We then see the family watch her win the Hawaiian trip, which the husband says “was a good choice”. He’s not happy, though, when they show the clip of Michelle saying her kids should be taken away. “Nobody should ever wish something like that on a mother. It’s as cold as you can get.”
With this segment over, we finally join the house in the living room. Wow, Dan gets the first question of the night. Hopefully, this will stop the whispering about how the fact that he hasn’t received any previous questions is suspicious. Julie asks him about how his faith influences his gameplay. Jerry looks on as Dan admits that he’s made some mistakes, but the “first thing I do when I get out of here is to go to confession”.
Jerry’s up next about his veto speech, and he admits that some of his speech was the “heat of the moment”, but that he still feels that “religion became a prop”. Dan responds that being called a Judas didn’t bother him; he just wishes as a teacher he had been called “Mr. Judas…the only thing I can do in this house is forgive him”. Jerry’s clearly not happy with that retort.
Memphis is up next, and is asked why he acted shocked when the Judas question came up. I don’t really get what he’s saying, but he questions whether Jerry knows the Judas story, and that Judas ended up hanging himself. “As long as Dan doesn’t hang himself, I’m cool. When personal attacks come out, the instinct for me is to stand up for people that I care about.”
Renny is now asked who has surprised her the most since they entered the house. “I think they’ve all surprised me. They’re really a wonderful bunch of young people.” Now that’s a nice, seemingly prepared speech.
It’s now time to mute the television, as we talk to Michelle in the HOH. Wait, you mean I can’t do that? Ugh. Julie points out that she’s been hanging around April lately, so what’s the status of her relationship with her? After wishing her parents a happy anniversary, she goes on about how she feels bad for her because her word “got broken with me last week…she knows that I actually keep my word in this house”. Oh boy.
Next up is a question about the more hateful things she has said in the house, including statements about Libra’s kids and how Dan was going to burn in hell. She says she regrets what she said about Dan, and that she doesn’t think Libra’s a bad mother. “There’s just decisions she’s made that could have been different. I would have taken the letter, and I don’t even have any kids.” (Insert Scott eye roll here.)
The segment ends with Michelle talking about how great it was to get a letter from home. Yes, she loves them and misses them…as does every contestant.
It’s now eviction time, and Keesha gets to make her final statement first. “If you do evict me, there are no hard feelings. Even though there have been crazy moments in this house, I have loved every last minute of it.” (That’s not what you said last Saturday evening as you were screaming outside.) She goes on with taking responsibility for her actions last week.
Libra follows with how “crazy” the game is, and that “each week it changes on a dime”. She still stands “proud and tall” with what she did last week, but stumbles on the next couple of sentences. Once again, a nominee basically copies Angie’s speech from two weeks ago about playing the game “for your self”.
The voting now begins Renny, who votes to evict Libra, as does Memphis. We now go to commercials, and when we return Jerry votes to evict Libra. I guess the plan to swerve the house isn’t going to happen. Dan, Ollie, and April also cast votes to evict Libra. It’s unanimous.
Libra seems to take it well, and hugs everybody as she walks out. “Have a good time, and enjoy this game.” After useless footage of the remaining houseguests standing around, Julie begins the interview by asking a laughing Libra about her alliance. She says they were explosive because they were all so similar. “We wanted to push the envelope all the time”. Outside the house, she says they’d all get along fabulously.
Julie moves on and asks about the theory that she was the mastermind behind every eviction. “They gave me a lot of credit. I deserve some of it, but not all of it.” She admits that her role in the various scenarios did eventually catch up to her.
Next up is the inevitable questions about leaving her newborns. She talks about the “paradox” of “leaving your family to help your family”, and how she felt she needed to go “against the norm”.
Ollie begins the goodbye messages by complaining about her going against April’s wishes last week. April then continues this theme, saying that going against her “came back to get you”. Renny says that also being a mother created a “special bond” between them. Jerry, of course, whines. There’s no need to recap his gibberish, so we end with Keesha’s Hallmark statement about how she’ll never forget her. That’s the best you can do?
It’s now HOH time, and it’s called Diary Room Confessions. Oooh, the game involves Julie reading things that one of the previously evicted people said, and they have to guess who said it. Well, the first question’s a gimme, as it involves a nap that paid off. Yet, nobody buzzes in, and Julie is forced to repeat. Renny finally buzzes in, and gets it right. She chooses to eliminate April, who is not happy at all about this. (Smart move.)
The next question is who said “the player got played”? Dan buzzes in, and correctly says it was Brian. He eliminates Jerry. (Another smart move!) The third question is about loneliness, but Ollie buzzes in before the question is finished and makes an incorrect choice. I now love this competition!
Memphis buzzes in on the next question, but is eliminated by saying the answer was Steven. The next question involves somebody who called Jessie a tool, but Dan is incorrect with his guess of Angie. (Blowing another HOH, Dan?)
It’s now down to Keesha and Renny, and the final question is about one of Jerry’s speeches. Renny buzzes in, and correctly guesses Brian. Renny is HOH! The studio audience goes nuts! Three people in the backyard aren’t happy, though!
We get a final look at the house, and Renny is alone in the bedroom collecting her thoughts. April and Ollie, meanwhile, look worried. They should!

Tuesday
Aug122008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 13 Recap

Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights! I’m Scott Hudson, your host and ringside analyst for the second installment of the battle of the dullards.
Yes, for the second Tuesday in a row we’re going to sit through lots of screaming, whining, crying, accusations, boasts, pledges, and much, much more (or less, depending on how you look at things). Oh yeah, and there will also be a veto competition and an extremely self-serving POV speech that somebody better pray is edited down so the person who gives it can show his face at home once the show is over.
Quick, take a guess how the show opens. Yes, it’s the reactions to Michelle’s nominations of Keesha and Libra. Can this be where we first hear the term two-headed snake? At least Keesha is smart enough to understand why she was put up (Jessie’s eviction), but adds that “I’m sure she had a little blonde girl in her ear”. Libra tells Michelle that she “appreciates” her speech, or really her non-speech. In the diary room, she also is not surprised, since she is responsible for the unitard, the loss of the Hawaiian trip, and “I kicked out her romance/showmance/I don’t know what you wanna call it”.
Dan, though, is shocked because he “fully expected” to be put up for nomination. “My strategy to gain sympathy from people must be working.” Jerry’s pissed, though, because…well, you know why since he’s repeated it ever since Thursday. “The only way he could justify doing something like this is if he’s America’s Player.”
Michelle attempts some deep thoughts (and fails miserably) when talking about her decision. “I want them to feel what it feels like to campaign against each other; how it feels to have their own alliance have to pick between the both of them. Because that’s what they did to Jessie.” For some reason, she goes to a mirror and blows Jessie a kiss.
Keesha goes into the bedroom, and wipes away some tears. Dan comes in, and asks if she wants to talk to him. Keesha says she is pissed that April’s key was the first one pulled out. “Now, all of a sudden that’s her best friend.”
Libra then walks in, and instructs Keesha to “hold your head up high. No matter what, I’m not going to campaign against you. We will ride it out.” Um, that’s not how it really plays out, but anybody that has watched Libra in action should realize that. Keesha again complains about April’s key, and Libra responds that she’s “got it coming, baby…get that bitch out of here”.
Keesha is now up in the HOH, and Michelle begins with one of her favorite words – “honestly”. Ugh. Michelle tells her that she wants Libra out, and that she’s being “dead honest” with her. Everybody that has already been evicted was a direct threat to Libra “and nobody else”, according to Michelle. Keesha admits in the diary room that she orchestrated Jessie’s eviction, but “I’m definitely going to keep my mouth shut”.
Normally, the POV competition comes much later in the show, but they have that time saved up for the battle of the dimwits. Michelle calls everybody together for the selection of the players, and Dan’s only wish is that Jerry is NOT selected. Michelle pulls out April’s name, Keesha gets Memphis, and poor Libra’s hand pulls out Jerry’s name. Ollie finally gets to be a part of the show, as he’s selected as the host.
Before we get to the competition, though, we get to hear Jerry bitch and moan about everybody not named himself, Ollie, and April. “Honestly (oh, that word again), I’ve never been more at peace”, claims April. “I don’t have to fake myself to that stupid bitch again…and be forced to talk to her. I’d rather shoot myself right now.” Ollie adds that if he knew that putting her up would “shut her up, we would have done that in week one”. April adds in the diary room that she believes the Jessie eviction was Libra’s plan, and that “she’s a compulsive liar”.
Jerry, though, still won’t let go of Dan’s so-called betrayal. “I don’t think Libra is more dangerous than Dan. (He’s) our deeper threat in this game.”
Michelle is now seen heading up to the HOH, and guess who is waiting for her? Yes, Jerry, and he immediately launches into his belief that Dan is America’s Player. Michelle agrees, and says she’s been “thinking that for a week now”. They go back and forth with their reasons for this belief, and Jerry uses the opportunity to put in Michelle’s head that the veto should be used to put him up as a replacement nomination. “I want Dan baaaaaad.”
Wow, we’re still not having the competition? It’s time for something we (thankfully) rarely see these days – the wacky “aren’t they funny people” segment. Dan thinks he’s the life of the house, and enlists Memphis in playing a silly prank where they dress up as burglars and wake up the girls. Come on, you have four hours of drunken fights to squeeze into just a few minutes, and you show us this? Poor Renny, though.
Finally, it’s veto time, and it’s called “Cry Me a Veto”. Memphis says there are “thousands of onions”, while Michelle calls it a “wall of onions…and IIIIII HHHHAAAATTTTTEEEEE Onions”. Shut up, you twit.
So the competition involves chopping up onions and and transferring them to two different bins. The heaviest veto bin wins the veto, but the two players with the heaviest “mystery” bins wins something else. Memphis says he was playing for nothing but the mystery prize, while April says she wanted an “equal amount in both, so it looks like I wasn’t greedy”.
I won’t bore you with Libra’s lengthy description of her strategy, or anybody else for that matter…or their complaints about the smell or anything else, either. When it’s finally over, Memphis mystery box weighed 33.8 pounds, while April had 27.4. Everybody else was substantially less, with Libra having none as she was playing for only the veto. Memphis then had to pick a prize envelope, and unfortunately for him he won an onion necklace that he has to wear for a full 24 hours. Dumb April, though, scores with five designer outfits. As usual, she’s nothing but charming when she says “it couldn’t have happened to a better person in the house”. Yes, she did say that, and she wasn’t being sarcastic.
As for the veto boxes, April somehow has just as much in that box as she did in the prize box. “I told you, I’m very consistent”, she brags. Libra’s box is weighed second to last, and she jumps to the lead with 32 pounds. Unfortunately for her, Jerry takes it with 36.8 pounds. Keesha and Libra are both crushed. “I’m done”, says Libra. “It’s over. Take it.”
Jerry, of course, has to gloat, both outside and inside. “I worked my ass off. Old man.” In the diary room, he babbles some ridiculous story about young and old bulls. Just shut up, please. Dan adds that he feels “very uneasy”.
After the commercials, Jerry is still celebrating (and tossing the middle finger towards the girls’ bedroom), which makes dumb April and Ollie giggle. “We gotta get Dan”, he whispers. Oh my god, we have to hear ONCE AGAIN how Dan is a “Judas” and betrayed people. Get over it, old man! He implores his so-called friends to join in on calling him that. (BTW, in case you’re wondering, the bleeped word Jerry uses is “cocksucker”.)
Jerry continues his victory lap up in the HOH, where Michelle tells him she’s proud of him. “Listen, I did that for Jessie.” No, you did that for your own self-importance. “Why do you think I worked so hard? Do you think that was easy for me?” Ugh, come on. He comes close to begging Michelle to let him use the veto, but Michelle’s only focus is on evicting Libra.
It’s now time for that battle that I have mentioned a couple of times, and it begins with happiness. You may recall that the house won a feast on Sunday’s episode, and we begin the sequence with everybody rushing out of the HOH to see what has been prepared. Michelle could care less about the food; it’s all about the wine for her.
Everything is peachy at first, until Keesha has the sappy idea to go around the table and say good things about each other. Memphis immediately responds with “I think Keesha’s crazy.” Little do you know, my friend.
For some reason, Renny chooses Jerry as the person to butter up, and as you may expect he eats it up. After some accolades to the “girls”, we move on to Dan, who actually said something about everybody, but of course we only see what he said about Jerry. After he’s finished, Jerry says he wants to reply and basically trashes him.
Keesha goes last, and we see her apologizing to April. After joking that she wants to borrow her new designer clothes, Libra butts in that this “is the only reason she’s kissing up to you”. Now the fun begins, as Michelle says she’s “the master of ruining a good time”.
Before we get to it, though, Ollie takes off his hat and babbles some niceties about how he’s there for anybody. Libra jumps in immediately after he’s finished and asks if she can talk to him. She gets up as we hear Jerry yell “we need more wine”. No, you don’t.
In the storage room, Libra tells Ollie that when they had the fight over her vote, she’d “never been hurt so bad”. Something tells me that’s a lie. She’s especially not happy about being called a “scalliwag” and a “ho”. What exactly is a scalliwag? Ollie tries to interject, but Libra’s on a roll as she continues to whine about her family and kids. “I didn’t think you’d say that to me, Ollie.” To his credit, Ollie does try to calm her down, but Libra takes over to explain why she had to vote out Jessie. “Just so you know, it was brought to me. Don’t think I was the catalyst.” When asked, she outs Keesha as the real culprit.
By skipping over a lot of material, we now are with Michelle and Keesha in HOH, where Michelle is complaining about Libra’s negativity at the dinner table. She recounts the designer clothing remark, and Keesha acts surprised. “She honestly said that?”
Michelle runs downstairs to grab April to verify the comment, and she says in the diary room that it was her plan “to turn two friends against each other…and flip this house upside down”. April confirms the story, and now Michelle runs to get Libra. “Bring the bitch into the room. If she wants to talk, let her talk.”
At first, Libra denies saying it, but then says she was joking. “I was laughing. It wasn’t to be rude.” Memphis, who is turning on my friend Christine by prancing around in a towel, decides it is much smarter to disappear. “I’m going to bed.” Smart move.
All of the girls start yelling at the same time, but when Keesha starts in on how she’s “always stood behind you”, Libra jumps up and yells, “well, let’s go there, then”. We now get a couple of minutes of them each pledging their innocence, and increasingly getting heated with each outburst. Meanwhile, all of the guys (and Renny) are downstairs eating dessert.
Even though she set the fight going, Michelle is becoming increasingly upset that the spotlight isn’t on her. So she does make it about herself, and how innocent SHE is, and her and Libra begin screaming at each other.
Dan calls the feast a “benefit dinner” because “every benefit was for me. With all of the insanity, everybody’s beginning to forget a little about me.” Yeah, he’s right.
Back upstairs, Libra brings out the info that Ollie just gave her about how she supposedly was the ringleader against Jessie. “So the votes came to you,” questions Michelle, “and you didn’t go out and get the votes?” The focus shifts back to Keesha, who says that Jessie was coming after her. “No, he was not”, claims Michelle, along with a fake-smiling April.
Keesha says that before her birthday, she got along fine with Jessie. Then a certain blonde came and “whispered sweet nothings about Jessie”. After denying this, Keesha asks her if she “takes credit for anything you’ve done in the past”. “No.”
Keesha has had enough, and wanders out of the HOH. “You guys are going to evict whomever you want.” Michelle’s not happy, and chases her around the house. In the diary room, Keesha babbles some more about how she doesn’t like April. Neither does America, sweetie.
After catching up to Keesha, Michelle starts yelling how “I didn’t do anything to make you frickin’ walk out on me.” When Keesha yells back that she doesn’t care if she’s evicted, Michelle is now mad that she’s now being yelled at. Um, Michelle, it’s not always about you. Finally, Keesha explains that she “can’t play the middleman between crazy and crazier”. I must say, that’s a pretty good explanation. It’s a nice job of editing, as every time Keesha says something about April, we get a shot of her phony smile.
It’s time for the POV ceremony, but before we get to that I have some bitching to do. I realize that the producers had to pare down three hours of fighting into just a few minutes, but there were lots of material not shown that needed to be shown. Instead of the phony comedy involving Dan and Memphis, why not let us see Michelle’s hissy fit where she battled every pillow in the house? That was a moment made for television. How about a taste of some of the other mini-fights that evening? Almost every combination of the four bimbos paired off at some point during the night.
Ok, back to the ceremony, and we begin with Jerry reading the prepared text of what happens at these gatherings. He babbles how this “is my chance to get Dan out of the house, or I can just stay and honor Michelle’s choices on who is on the block. Expect the unexpected.” As Jerry stares at the wall of pictures, Keesha complains about being on the block, while Libra bitches about how she’s been portrayed as the “puppet mistress of the house”. Dan adds that the odds of Jerry taking off Keesha so he can go up “is about 50/50”.
Jerry gathers the troops, and Keesha’s speech is nothing but how she knows she’s up because of her role in evicting Jessie. Libra, who obviously applied her TV face before the meeting, basically just repeats what Keesha just said but adds that she’s “to take the consequences of that action”.
Instead of just announcing what he’s doing, Jerry has decided to “talk about what I feel”. He goes on to talk about how Keesha and Libra would not have been his choice as nominees. We all know who he wished was up there, and Jerry continues on with how Dan is a hypocrite that hides behind his Bible. “You will always be Judas in my eyes.” (Oh boy, what I would give of a screencap of Libra’s bug eyes right now.) Memphis rolls his eyes in disgust, as do probably 90% of the viewers. Finally, Jerry moves on after telling Dan that it’s his “lucky day”. No, he doesn’t use the veto.
Dan says that “whatever the point of Jerry’s speech was, it didn’t accomplish anything”. Keesha gives the usual “I’m not going to leave this house without a fight” soundbite, while Libra says she’s going to be a “little more sleuth in my actions” because the game “changes every four hours”. Her plan is to let everybody know that Keesha was the person who really was responsible for Jessie’s eviction.

Sunday
Aug102008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 12 Recap

Here we go with what promises to be a painful episode. Yeah, we’ll have the satisfaction of once again seeing the stunned looks when Jessie’s name is announced for eviction, along with the food competition involving past cast members. For every satisfying minute, though, we’re going to have five that feature Michelle’s awful accent and self-importance, or Jerry’s growing arrogance.
I don’t think it’s any secret that we begin with the eviction of Jessie. Michelle says she was seeing red. No, idiot, that’s your unitard. “I was enraged. I was furious. I was angry.” Um, those are all the same thing. She starts bawling about how much she misses him.
Jessie is shown whispering to Michelle to “stay with Memphis” right before he walked out. He says a similar thing to Memphis about Michelle. Silly Keesha is “so excited” because “it worked”. She’s proud of herself because for the first time in her life she actually orchestrated something.
April, of course, was “in shock”, and claims she “literally vomited in my mouth”. Something tells me by looking at your emaciated face that you may have a history of having that problem. “I felt like it was a low blow to me, and Jessie got caught in the middle”.
Dan knows he’s in trouble, especially when “everybody looked at me” after the vote was announced. “No matter what I did, or what America did, somebody was going to be mad at me.” We see Dan tell Jessie that he’s sorry, and Jessie replies “it’s your word” as he walks out the door.
As Jessie’s name goes to black and white, Jerry is staring intensely while Libra lets out a chuckle. “I was smiling from ear to ear. Put me in a Bright White commercial, honey, because I was glad to see him hit the road.” She then goes through a litany of dumb clichés. Just shut up.
Jerry is now openly staring at Dan, who comments on the amount of tension in the kitchen. “I just tried to look at the floor and not make eye contact.” Jerry continues to stare as we hear him say that “Dan has disrespected me by breaking his word and hiding behind his cross. I now have no respect for Dan at all.”
Michelle chases down April in the bathroom and demands to know what happened. Michelle, I have some advice for you – high heels do not go well with that awful unitard, even if you think it makes your ass look great. Michelle tells April that “Dan can go to hell”, and once again we hear the lie that April “saved their asses last week”. Yes, it’s always about you, little girl. Ollie walks in, and nothing of importance is said, as usual.
Back in the kitchen, Libra quietly tells Memphis that “we need you”. Michelle is still wandering around the house, and promises to get them back for Jessie. That’s one of a handful of lines we’ve been hearing over and over the past four days.
Finally, we move on to Michelle’s surprising HOH win. Immediately, Jerry, who just hours before hated anything to do with Michelle’s “side”, hugs her and screams “screw you people”. Walking by Dan, he yells some more about not “hiding behind your cross”.
Yes, Michelle, we know it’s for Jessie. She yells it in the diary room; she yells it to the outdoor camera. She’s so happy for herself that she sat through all of the wakeup messages the night before. “I’m flipping this house upside down.” Are ya?
We move on to yet another cliché, as April says “karma is a bitch”. Ugh, can they be given a list of phrases they can’t say? “Are they scared of Michelle and I? I’d be scared of us, too.” Wait, Michelle and I?
And we hear some more thoughts and prayers to Jessie, as Dan sits with a glum look. “I tried to uphold my word, but I put myself in a situation where I had to break my word with somebody. That’s my own fault. However, I never swore on my cross, and I never swore on my religion.”
Tell Jerry that, as he again goes after Dan and his religious beliefs. Just as Jerry didn’t wear his military stuff when he put up Brian for eviction, Dan took off his cross just before the CBS show. I really do hate meaningless gestures.
Michelle is again storming around, now calling people traitors. Libra and Keesha joke around a bit, but they know they’re in trouble. I do laugh, though, when Keesha talks about how she “sent Jessie packing back to his REAL girlfriend”. Are you so sure he has one?
This is becoming tiring, but now Michelle is stomping around proclaiming how she’s “never gone back on her word in this house”. Well, you really haven’t had an opportunity, as your friends have been evicted every week. She jumps on the anti-religion bandwagon, flipping off Dan and complaining about his cross. Dan says he knew people were going to be upset, but “I didn’t anticipate people would be this upset”. He disappears into the bedroom, and coves himself with a pillow. “I need to start drawing out some sympathy.” Yeah, that’s going to help.
Michelle now sets her sights on Renny, who was supposedly laughing at her. Standing a few feet away, Renny asks when this happened, and it turns out that she had teased her earlier in the day about staying up throughout the entire wake up call fiasco. “It wasn’t in a derogatory way”, she replies. When Michelle replies, Renny blows up and tells her to not “say that shit to me”. Good for you, Renny.
Libra and Keesha walk in as Michelle is yelling at everybody to not hide from her. “I am not afraid of you”, says Keesha. Oh really? April joins in with Michelle, which leads Libra to yell, “oh, now y’all best friends”. Good one. This gets April fired up (as you may expect), and Michelle screams “you’re a liar” as Libra walks away. Jerry just has to get involved, and starts yelling that she’s “going home!”
Just when it looks like it’s over, April screams that Libra swore on her children. “I did not swear on my children!” “Yes, you did!” “No, I didn’t!” “Yes, you did!” “Tastes great!” “Less filling!” As this goes on, Dan stirs and I almost see a smile on his face.
Jerry still has to add his two cents, and really pisses Libra off by calling her a dummy. When Libra responds, Jerry for some ungodly reason does some weird sort of hand movements. Having gone five seconds without screaming, Michelle has to add some more to the fight, but it’s really not worth recapping.
Finally, somebody notices that Dan’s not around, so Michelle jumps up to go confront. “Put down that Bible”, and put down that cross. I don’t even think he’s a school teacher. Jerry adds that “he needs to be praying”.
Memphis has been sitting around watching the festivities, and he says that “it’s a little much”. In the diary room, he adds that “it just blows my mind that anybody would stoop to the level of saying anything about somebody’s religion. Where I come from, people get punched in the mouth.”
Thank God for commercials. I never thought I’d say that. When we get back, it’s time for Michelle’s confrontation with Dan. Memphis comes in the room beforehand, and Dan tells him his plan to try to create some sympathy. Dan says that he’s hoping that Memphis can “get to Michelle’s ear” (how can he with all that awful hair?) and sway her to not put him up. Memphis says his plan for the week is to just sit back and watch everybody else blow up.
Oh, we still have to wait for Michelle to babble to Dan. Now she’s sitting with Memphis, who is promising that he doesn’t have something going with “those people”. “I didn’t promise them anything. The only thing I promised them was if I won HOH they wouldn’t go up.” At the end of their talk, he whispers to her that he’ll “always have your back”.
Finally, it’s the moment I thought would happen ten minutes ago. She walks in and immediately asks if he’s really a school teacher. What/ Ugh. Then we get the interrogation. “Why’d you do it? Why? Why?” She goes on and on with the same question, and Dan really offers no answer (although I love his smile for the cameras after she walked out). The producers did a fantastic job of editing this segment down, and I bow to them for that.
Libra is now in the kitchen doing what she does best (her nails), and asks Michelle if she still wants her to come up to see her pictures. “It’s a game. I’d like for you to see where I come from.” Oh yeah, I bet Libra is just dying to see that mess you call a family.
Of course, that means we get to my least favorite segment of the week – the entrance to the HOH. It’s funny how April is suddenly so interested in all things Michelle; even calling her brother “good looking”. Yeah, I believe that you think that. Memphis notices how fake she’s acting, and makes fun of her in the diary room. “Shut up! I can’t stand the fakeness.”
Oh god, it gets worse, as she reads her letter from home. Libra has her live TV fake smile, but it’s Renny who is truly touched by what she hears. She gets up, and leaves the room crying. She explains in the diary room that she became emotional while thinking of her own family. Dan comes in to console her, and tells her that “her family is proud of you”. Keesha is next, and basically says the same thing.
Jerry and April, the house’s premier ass kissers, are now in the HOH asking what Dan said to her. You can guess what Michelle says in response. Jerry says he won’t ever talk to him again, which I’m sure will really bother him. Oh, Ollie’s up there too. It’s funny how he can be in a room and not be noticed. Jerry continues to go on and on about how his religion is phony.
April gets fired up when Jerry mentions Libra, and we again rehash the issue about swearing on her children. They all agree that Libra is the person that needs to go this week. As we go to commercials, we get a quick shot of Libra lying down with one of her patented ugly expressions.
Now that we’re back, it’s time for the heavily promoted food competition against former houseguests. Unfortunately, the former competitors are not present. Everybody is excited when they discover they’re competing against these people, and scream when they see Brian on the TV screen.
The contest involves “real world” questions, where they have to give true/false answers to whether a news story is real or not. Unfortunately, it’s not the houseguests I want to see return. I mean, really, who cares about Chicken George, Bunky, or a heavily-perspiring Mike Boogie? Ewww, Amy’s not looking great these days, nor is Jun. At least Janelle still looks good (as does Jen), and I laugh when April gives Ollie a dirt look for noticing her.
So this game is (as usual) sort of convoluted. A fact is read off (which represents one day of food), and then the returning houseguest babbles about this fact to try to get their opponent to make the wrong guess. Keesha looks confused.
Dan goes first, and he chooses to go against Boogie. The “fact” revolves around Favre’s return to football, and being with the Jets. Boogie recites the actual facts, and Dan says it’s false. Obviously, he’s wrong, but to be fair, who would have ever guessed that to be the case? The entire house is shocked by this story. I’m more shocked by Boogie’s sweating problem.
Renny now goes against Jen, and the topic involves gas prices. Jen claims that Renny’s her favorite, and then babbles nothing to convince Renny anything. Renny is correct, as you may expect, so they get food on Tuesday.
Dirty old man Jerry is next, and of course he picks Janelle, and screams that he loves her. Janelle yells back that he’s hot. Oh boy. Their question involves Jessie, and whether he was offered the cover of some fitness magazine. Michelle immediately wakes up, but is surprised when Janelle says “he’s not even that cute”. Dumb Jerry believes the story to be true, which obviously is not the case. Dan complains “it’s been like only eight hours”. Yes, Dan, Jerry really is that stupid.
The next contest is for a grill, and Memphis chooses to go against Amy. This topic is whether China has banned bald and smelly cab drivers during the Olympis, and Amy talks nonstop for the full 30 seconds. What she said I have no idea, though. Memphis incorrectly says that it’s a false story. Wow, even I didn’t know that.
Ollie now goes against last season’s Matt, who says “I see you doing your thing”. “I’m just trying to be like you, player”. Yeah, we know what they’re talking about. Matt then flirts with Michelle, which I’m sure we’ll be hearing about for the rest of the season. Matt can’t resist a jab at Natalie, though, which makes me laugh.
Their topic is about whether China can control the rain, and Matt has some outlandish story about a laser that “shoots up to the satellites”. Ollie doesn’t buy it, saying that he “has the game with the ladies” but not with science. It’s too bad that Matt is actually correct.
It’s now Libra’s turn, and she chooses Bunky. Their question is whether Cheech and Chong have reunited. Do you think Libra has even heard of Cheech and Chong? Libra thinks Bunky is lying, and she also is wrong. Renny, the only person who has won so far, says she’d like to see their reunion tour.
Michelle gets to play for a bonus prize, which is a feast. She chooses to go against Jase, and for some reason makes a weird spaceship noise, which makes Matt crack up. Their question is about whether the earthquake is real or not. Michelle gets this once correct, so finally the conspiracy about this event is answered! Too bad they probably shouldn’t have won this prize, as everybody will see during Tuesday’s episode.
April is the next up, and obviously she has to go against Chicken George. Their question is whether Britney Spears has decided to make a country album, and dumb April doesn’t believe that George would lie to her. Um, the game is to convince you to make a wrong choice, you twit! Yes, she answers that it must be true.
Finaly, we get to Keesha, and she obviously has to go against Jun. This question involves a Paris Hilton political ad, and Jun makes up a story about how Paris screwed it up. Keesha says it’s not in the news, and is correct.
To recap, the house is on slop for five of the next seven days, and Brian concludes by saying “that’s what you get for voting me out”. Good one, and this time I mean it.
With the game over, we now go back to Michelle. Isn’t it always about Michelle? She’s now talking with Memphis about the nominations. Michelle says that she’s DECIDED that she’s “all by myself right now”. Hmmm, then why have you been bitching and crying all weekend about being alone? Ugh. Memphis again tells her that he’s not with “them”. Michelle is already thinking about the finals, and tells Memphis that he’s the one she wants to be up there with.
Memphis makes his plea for Dan, saying that he’s not in any alliance that he’s aware of, but Michelle’s not buying it since he voted with Keesha, Libra, and Renny. She also claims that she’s playing strategically, not personally. Um, sure you are.
Back downstairs, Renny is bitching about April. Memphis comes in, and they all talk about convincing Michelle to put her up. Renny goes upstairs to try to make that happen. Michelle babbles on about how she wishes she could share this win with Jessie, but Renny doesn’t look too interested. Renny asks why April even put him up. “Jessie had to bite the bullet for her. She’s the number one threat in my book.” Michelle says she “seems to be out of the loop on a lot of things. I’ve got a lot to think about.”
Yes, this episode is finally almost over. We see everybody sitting outside contemplating their futures, as Michelle struggles to figure out how the keys fit into the contraption. Why do they still have the HOH read that script about their duties as HOH? We know it by heart.
Memphis again says his strategy has been to lay low, Renny again states that she hopes to God that April is put up, and Dan worries that he’s going up but hopes that “the kid from Tennessee” has saved him. Libra knows she’s “Michelle’s biggest target by far” but claims “I’m ok with it”.
The keys are then pulled out, and I’m shocked that April’s came out first. Renny’s also a bit surprised, and clearly not happy. We go down the line, and Dan is the last key selected, with Keesha and Libra now on the block. Michelle gets up and babbles that it isn’t personal; it’s strategy. Really? How could that be? You can say that as many times as you want, but that doesn’t make it true.
Dan is happy that “my strategy is working exactly how I wanted it to work. Michelle thinks I’m weak.” Jerry still won’t let it slide with Dan, whining that he deserves “more” than just being put on the block. “He will always be known as Judas.” Keesha babbles the usual lines about giving it “everything she’s got” to stay in the house, and Libra says she was disappointed that Michelle’s speech “didn’t pack the punch I was looking for”.
With that, this long, delayed episode is finally over. See you Tuesday with the bitchfest of the year!

Thursday
Aug072008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 11 Recap

Here we go with what could be either one of the greatest swerves in Big Brother history, or a predictable disappointment. Will the outcast hens follow through with their plan to go against the oversexed Barbie? Will America (or the Big Brother producers) do the right thing and make Dan do the right thing?
If these events do occur, what will be the reaction? Will Jessie go nuts when he hears he’s evicted and trash the house on his way out? Will Michelle tear off her unitard and become that Superhero (with a not-so-fantastic ass) she claims to be? Is it possible that April will become so irate that a bit of color comes to her pale, undernourished face?
We’ve got a long way to go before we get to the moment of truth. As always, we get the reaction to the non-event of Jerry’s decision to not use the veto. Jessie says “everything should be a pretty smooth ride” as long as everybody abides by April’s wishes. “I know I’m not going anywhere. Sweet beans!” Does he really think he’s charming when he babbles that garbage? Oh, and put your shirt on, tool boy.
April says she feels “really, really good” about Jerry not using the veto. Of course you do, you silly twit. He did what you wanted. Memphis says there is “no alliance anymore. It’s time to start from square one.” For some reason, we see shots of Jessie flexing as Memphis talks. Why?
We move on to Keesha and Libra babbling in the bedroom. Keesha says that she hopes April changes her mind on who she wants to have go home because “Jessie is coming after me.”
”No, he’s coming after me”, replies Libra. “Me too.” “No, it’s me.” “Uh uh, it’s me.” Well, it stopped after Keesha’s “me too”, but it could have just as well gone on back and forth since these are two people that always have to have all of the attention. Libra does point out that Jessie, who is sleeping next door, does nothing but “sit in that room. He doesn’t add anything to the house.” In the diary room, Libra repeats that line almost word for word – just with a more volume and a headshake. The two decide that they need to get April to change her focus.
April enters the room sometime after that. When, I don’t know. The producers want us to believe it was immediately, and Libra is still lying in bed in the same clothes from the previous scene. But I don’t believe Keesha was wearing a bikini in the previous shot. Regardless, both of them start whining about Jessie to her, but she’s not too intereseted.
Keesha is frustrated, and babbles in the diary room about how hard she’s tried to like April. “When somebody is so fake to your face, and you can see right through it, it’s so annoying.”
According to April, Memphis is playing the game just as hard as anybody, but he’s just not as loud as Jessie. Libra tells the whispering Barbie to calm down, and that they’re just communicating their fears. Again, though, she’s a lot more expressive in the diary room, complaining about how going after Memphis is more beneficial only to April.
Memphis is now lying out with Keesha, and again we get to hear the usual garbage about lying and not breaking promises from Keesha. Memphis points out that “people are promising out their game”. Keesha adds in the diary that Jessie needs to go because he “eats a lot, sleeps a lot, and causes a lot of problems in the house”. After she notes that they need four votes, Memphis mentions something about getting Dan’s vote.
Wow, Keesha actually picked up on that hint, and moved on to Dan, who puts on the charm by telling her that she’s the “one person in this game I can talk to”. Hmmm. She comes right out and says, “I want Jessie gone”. Dan admits that he doesn’t want Memphis to go, but they both acknowledge that if their plan doesn’t work they’ll be the first to go next week.
Now Keesha is back in the bedroom with Libra, who asks what they’re going to do about the situation. Keesha is suddenly all tough, saying “anybody that thinks I’m gonna roll over and do what they want…” Libra points out that they only have three votes, but Keesha says her “instinct” says she can get Dan’s vote. Libra says she’ll do it if they can get the numbers, but that “it will be world war three in here”.
Keesha goes outside and brings Memphis into the bedroom. Libra immediately threatens him that she’ll kill him if she saves him and he puts her up the next week. Keesha again points out that they need to get Dan’s word. Surprise, surprise, guess who walks in at that second? Dan gives his word, but they all promise to not talk about it. Everybody jumps around and hugs.
Meanwhile, April is whining to Jerry how two of their alliance members “jumped” her and “double-teamed” her about booting out Jessie. Is that really how it happened? Jerry thinks they have the votes, but promises to talk to Dan. “Dan supports me because I brought him into our alliance. We saved him.” Oh, you silly old man.
Jerry does his part, and talks to Dan about how the hens are going to turn against their super fantastic, giant alliance. Dan does a great job at playing dumb. “This soon?” Jerry claims that April feels threatened, and that Dan shouldn’t listen to their overtures. “We agreed to support the HOH, and we shouldn’t break that.” Jerry goes into Jessie’s room and informs him that he’s safe. Is he?
Dan is now sitting outside by himself babbling to the cameras about how “crazy” everybody is. “Who does America hate more – Jessie or Memphis? If you want out Jessie, I’m going to be in trouble. If you want Memphis, I’m going to be in a lot of trouble. My rear is going to be under fire big time. America, you better make the right decision. I gave you an 18 second hug. Hook me up.”
Human interest time, as we visit with Dan’s football team in Detroit. Yeah, it’s awesome their coach is on television. I’m glad I’m not drinking every time I hear a cliché. Wait, I think I’m in love with Dan’s sister. His mom, though, doesn’t think he should have taken the America’s Player option. Well, I don’t think BB should have brought it back. We have to endure a bunch of clips of everybody thinking that he is America’s Player.
Wow, we’re already going to the living room. Julie jumps right in with a question to Manchelle about her unitard. “I love it and I hate it, and I do look great in it.” No, you don’t. Stop the madness. She’s asked if there’s any difference between this week and last week with Jessie being on the block. She lies and says it’s been the same. No, it hasn’t. Jessie slept this week; last week he was a raving lunatic.
Keesha gets the next question, and it’s about her sad birthday. She babbles that it hasn’t been forgotten, and we move on to Libra’s forced TV smile. Her question is once again about her family, and how she turned down a letter from home. “My husband would have killed me. We both have said that after this project is finished, let’s go somewhere. Why not Hawaii?” Meanwhile, Michelle is making faces that should not be allowed on television.
After commercials, it’s time for another awkward HOH interview. She’s asked if she’s still allies with Keesha and Libra, and she lies and says they are. Oh, this is going to be fun even if Jessie isn’t eliminated. “I definitely trust them a lot less lately. I haven’t had their support like I had expected this week, considering I saved them.” She did? When? Oh, by winning HOH. Yeah, I’ll hand her this point. April goes on, and we all just want her to stop. She’s also asked about dealing with Memphis, but it’s just dumb babble as she thinks he doesn’t want to stay there.
Julie can’t help but ask about her relationship with Ollie. “All of America is wanting to know this”, April claims. Um, don’t give yourself that much credit. She babbles about how fortunate she is to have him, and that he’s her savior (that’s what they call it these days), and “it’s nice to be able to get away and talk more on a little more of a personal level and not on the game”.
We get the final statements, and Jessie begins by wishing his dad a happy birthday. He has little more to say, but surprisingly says nothing about respect. Memphis gets up and sort of repeats Angie’s statement last week about voting for themselves.
Michelle begins the voting, and you know she voted to evict Memphis, as does “Hey Mama” Ollie and Jerry. Libra is next, and her phony smile votes to evict Jessie…and we go to commercial.
After we return, Keesha votes to evict Jessie, as does Renny. Now here’s the moment of truth, as Dan comes in to find out what “America” wants him to do. Dan almost calls her Mrs. Chen again, but Julie stops him. Yes, America wants Jessie gone!
Oh My God! This is going to be good. Surprisingly, he’s calm, but does babble “it’s your word, your word” to Dan as he walks out the door. Michelle storms out of the room, and Memphis tries his hardest to fight off a smile. Somebody is clapping, but we don’t see who. This is actually sort of anticlimactic since nobody is saying anything.
Returning to the studio, Julie tells Jessie he looks like he’s in shock. No, that’s his everyday look. He denies that he was surprised, and places all the blame on Dan. For some reason, he babbles on about how Dan “doesn’t even go to church every Sunday, and he’s Catholic”. Um, ok.
Julie asks if he has anything that he regrets doing in the house. Well, how about when he started the big fight last Friday? He probably would still be in the house if that hadn’t happened. “I actually don’t have one thing that I regret. I called out everybody for face value.” Julie says that “several” houseguest have called him arrogant to his face, but Jessie corrects her and say only Keesha has done that. “My name and arrogant shouldn’t be in the same sentence.” Hahahaha!
Now this part should be good – Julie names a houseguest and Jessie has to respond with the first word that comes to his tiny tool head. Jerry is first, and Jessie has trouble coming up with anything before saying he’s “in really good shape”. For Renny, he says she “was a trip the first week”. He’s “very proud” of Michelle, but April is “very deviant”. Of course, Jessie is “THE MAN!”
For the goodbye messages, April says if he is seeing this message she is “shocked”. Jessie doesn’t appear to be paying attention, though. Michelle says if he’s watching this then “everybody in this house is a bunch of liars. I will definitely get those people, and take them down personally by myself.” Memphis tells him that it was a mistake for him to be sleeping all week and not interacting with others, while Libra babbles that he “was a pain in my you-know-what. I’m definitely glad to see you go. There’s no love lost.” Keesha tells him that she “hopes you get lots of sleep. I’m not going to say that I hate to see you go, because I don’t. So, bye.” That makes me laugh. Renny is also hilarious as usual, as she says “sayanorra”. Wow, they went longer with Jessie than any evicted person I’ve ever seen.
After Jessie’s segment is finally over, we get to see the surprise wake up calls they received all night last night from fans. Surprisingly, Libra is the first to figure out that it’s “America” doing these wakeup calls. None of them are pleased by this, and after a couple of minutes of this segment I’m also annoyed.
Finally, it’s time for the HOH, and once again it’s a question game. These true/false questions revolve around these calls. Everybody is correct in the first round, but Renny and Ollie are out with the next question. Everybody but Libra and Michelle now go out, which causes Keesha to roll her eyes. (I never thought I’d say this, but go Libra!) Holy shit, Michelle is the new HOH!!! Wow, Jerry starts screaming at Dan! It’s funny how one of the “outcasts” is now the favorites of a certain group of people. “That’s for you, Jessie! I’m going to get them.” This is going to be a miserable week.
We conclude with a return to the living room. Once again, Michelle screams “this is for Jessie! I deserve this! Game on!” Ugh. Memphis is asked a dumb question about how it feels to still be in the house. Yes, his answer is that it “feels good. When the majority of the house keeps you, you feel the love”. Jerry is asked if being in the house is more difficult than in the Armed Services, and he replies that “I love it here. Game on!”
Oh boy, as we leave the show Julie announces that one competitor from each previous season will be coming in to participate in one surprise competition. Oooh, Brian’s picture is shown in the montage. For the final shot, we get to watch some more of Manchelle whispering to Memphis. “Don’t be mad at me”, he tells her.

Tuesday
Aug052008

Big Brother Season 10, Episode 10 Recap

Good evening, my friends. Did you miss me? Tonight should be a pretty interesting show, especially since I didn’t see too much of the feeds the last couple of days. All I have to go by is what Ale, Ash, and IndyMike have posted here, along with some email updates from Christine. If there’s some weird editing, or out of context segments, please note them in the comments section.
After the recap, we begin as always with the reaction to the somewhat surprising nominations. I must say I am also loving the backlash against that twit April, and tonight’s birthday fight is going to be fun. So the car is really the reason she put up Memphis? Ugh. At least he has a sense of humor about being on the block, but since he also knows that Jessie is perceived to be the pawn he’s in trouble.
As always, Jessie makes the nomination all about him. “I think it’s an honor to be nominated three out of the four weeks. I’m not the target but I got nominated. We’ll see how that goes.”
Jessie’s manly buddy Michelle is not happy, though, and is pacing in the storage room. I don’t get how her Jersey accent is so much stronger in the diary room, but she babbles about how the pawn is “usually the one who goes home”. God, I hope that’s true. “What is this house trying to do to me?” As this is played, we see her pretending to choke herself for the benefit of not only the cameras but for us at home.
April tells us once again that Memphis is her target, but she realizes that her alliance wants Jessie to go because “he’s targeting them. I don’t care. I did promise Jessie that I’d keep him safe.” Jessie grabs April after she puts away the wheel of keys, and hugs her and tells her that it’s ok that he’s nominated. “Just trust me, please”, she says. Jessie responds that he can only trust her and Ollie, who then walks in and confirms that this is true. April claims that the rest of her pals “all have the same understanding”. Do they?
Ugh, it’s America’s Player time. Dan walks into the diary room to get his next mission. He has to hug a person “we” chose for at least ten seconds…and it’s Jessie. Poor guy. He decides to come up with some sob story about his girlfriend Monica. Ok, I do get a laugh when Dan mugs for the camera right before going into his dumb tale about wondering if his girl will be there when he gets out. Ok, Jessie does do a good job at cheering him up, and Dan admits that he felt bad about conning him. He gets his ten seconds, though. Once Jessie leaves, Dan has a good laugh with the camera.
April now comes out to tell everybody it’s time to choose players for the veto comp. April draws Michelle, which makes Jessie feel happy because “two people are now playing for Team Jessie”. Ugh. Jessie pulls out Libra’s name, while Memphis gets Jerry. Renny will be the host. Yay!
April says that in her mind the competition “lies solely in my hands. I can’t rely on Jerry or Libra. I’m still not sure what Libra and Jerry are capable of doing, and Libra always has an excuse for every competition she’s lost.” This may be the first time all year I agree with April, but I also want to be around when Libra sees that soundbite.
April is now in the HOH with Ollie, Dan, and Keesha, complaining about how she’s on edge because of Libra and Jerry being in the competition, when Libra rings the bell. Seconds later, Renny also rings the bell. Libra says that maybe this comp will be something that “Jerry is spectacular at”.
April is not amused. “Are you kidding me? If there’s a picking your nose competition, I’m sure he’ll do fantastic. It sucks. It sucks really, really bad.” This raises Libra’s ire a bit, and she complains that while she “may not be the strongest person, but mentally I think I’m all together”. April gives her a look, which makes Libra even more defensive. “I’m getting upset because I’m on this team, and I’m going to play my damndest. If somebody has any questions about where I’m standing, or how hard I’m going to play, then they need to ask me.” Libra then leaves because her “feelings are hurt”. Libra goes on about this for a bit, and I must say that this is once again a first for this season – I feel for the girl!
Keesha and Dan then leave the room, which gives April time to bitch to Ollie about how Libra is such a bitch. “She has excuses for everything.” Meanwhile, Libra is bitching to Keesha about April. Jerry and Jessie hear everything as they’re lying down next door. Well, Jessie hears it all. Who knows what Jerry ever hears? Keesha complains about how she feels like she has to “prove myself to April time after time again, and she still doubts me”. Dumb Jessie perks up as he hears them bitch about the person that’s supposed to save him. “That’s all I need to hear.”
Of course, he runs up to inform this week’s Queen Barbie, who immediately says “what did I do to her?” Oh, God. Jessie asks her if she complained to Keesha about talking to Memphis, which April and Ollie deny. Oh wait, April was confused. She did tell Keesha that she shouldn’t be hanging with Memphis.
Jessie is pretty proud of himself, but he doesn’t get at all how stupid he was for narcing off Libra and Keesha. If he hadn’t said anything, the hens would have probably made up, and he’d be safe. Now that they’re fighting, it certainly looks like he’s going home on Thursday.
Ollie is also not the brightest bulb, whispering to April (why he’s whispering in the HOH is anybody’s question) how everybody’s “true colors” are starting to show. “Well, I’ll confront her”, responds April. “Out comes the temper now.” Oooh, this is going to get good!
After commercials, April is preparing herself for the confrontation with Ollie’s encouragement. She storms into the girls’ bedroom, and Libra immediately tells her that she’s “really, really upset. My feelings are hurt. I don’t deserve to be doubted like that.” April claims that this wasn’t the “case at all. I didn’t yell at you, and I didn’t raise my voice at all.” As expected, Libra jumps on this point – “I didn’t say you yelled at me!”
April spills the beans on what each of them said, and it’s on! Libra wants to know “who do we need to talk to right now?” Hahaha, Libra doesn’t deny that she said anything; she’s pissed about the lie regarding the so-called yelling. April backtracks on that point, and Keesha leaves because it’s “fucked up”.
Keesha ends up in the kitchen, and asks Michelle if she’s the one who talked to April. Keesha’s main complaint is that April apparently said, “I’ll deal with you later”. Renny’s eyes perks up when Keesha calls April a “little bitch”. Nice!
Libra is still whining about how her feelings are hurt. Her and April go back and forth while Keesha continues to call her a little bitch. Renny and Michelle try to calm things down by reminding her that it’s her birthday, but Keesha is too fired up. “I can’t stand her fucking guts.”
Keesha returns to the bedroom, and now she’s the one who says her feelings are hurt. After all, she was the one “who stood up for you last week”. Michelle, Ollie, and Renny now join in on the conversation. Well, Michelle ends up standing outside the door so she can report to Jessie what she hears. The hens go back and forth for awhile, with none of them really making any sense…except for Keesha, who says “somebody is being fucking two-faced right now”. Snap, girl!
Finally, Keesha demands to know who told April, and we get a look at Jessie fixing his sideburns when April finally gives him up. Memphis, meanwhile, is mugging for the camera about crazy women as Dan reads his Bible.
Jerry then comes in to narc on the fact that Memphis is making fun of this fight. Oh Jerry, you silly old man. When Libra says she doesn’t care what he thinks, Jerry snaps at her, which doesn’t help the situation. Renny then snaps at Jerry, telling him that he shouldn’t “talk to people like that”. Jerry doesn’t comprehend, so Renny points out how he sticks fingers in people’s faces. I hope it’s not the same fingers he uses to pick his nose.
Renny leaves the room, and comments to Memphis and Dan that she “can’t stand it when he talks to a woman like that…he better not put his finger in my face. I’ll shove it down his throat.” She informs Memphis that Jerry is talking about him, so it’s time to add another person to the giant fight. Dan, meanwhile, continues to read his Bible.
Memphis comes into the bedroom just in time to hear Keesha say that it’s Jessie who needs to go. After she walks out, Ollie makes a lame attempt to bring peace by reminding them that there is birthday cake in the kitchen.
For some reason, Libra apologizes to April after everybody leaves the room. Meanwhile, Renny is trying to rally the troops to sing “Happy Birthday” to a sobbing Keesha. Jessie is finally done fixing his sideburns, and wanders into the adjoining bedroom, where he once again hears Libra’s whining. He bolts out of bed…and we go to commercial.
And we’re back just in time to hear Jessie ask Libra “say what?” Libra jumps up, and tells him it’s “fucked up” that he would use what he heard to “make shit happen”. “So you want to yell at me for laying down…” “I’m not playing your game”, interrupts Libra, as April begins holding her head. This has been too much for that little brain to take in such a short time.
The rest of the house is waiting to sing to Keesha as Libra and Jessie continue to fight. Yes, it’s a bit uncomfortable. Like every fight involving Libra, this goes back and forth for awhile with no real purpose.
Finally, Libra comes out into the kitchen to start Keesha’s best ever birthday party. Oh wait, April’s not in the room yet, so Libra goes back to get her…and of course gets sidetracked because Jessie is now explaining himself to April.
I wonder if they’ll have ice cream with their cake. Or maybe this would be a good time to give the house some liquor. Keesha just shakes her head in disgust as Dan leads the house in song. It is a pretty pathetic scene, especially with the awkward silence when the song is concluded.
Libra apologizes, I guess, but her apology starts the whole fight going once again. Jessie apologizes for “being honest”. Oh boy. Jerry sits in silence. Now it’s time for Michelle to jump in. “Do you guys even know how the fight started, or what it’s about?” The look on Keesha’s face is priceless. Michelle busts out some rap moves as she goes on about how it’s all “he said/she said/they said”, and you can imagine how pathetic she looks.
Oh no, you didn’t, Michelle! Keesha stands up and gives Michelle the full Tyra head and arm shake as she shouts how she knows exactly how the fight started. We get another recap of the argument, which causes Keesha to give Jessie the finger when he claims he told April exactly what was said. Jessie apologizes again for “being woke up”. Keesha doesn’t want to hear it, and Libra claps and tells Memphis that “everyday is a new day”. Keesha’s last words are that Jessie “needs to go”, and Jessie responds that “you can’t vote me out if I’m not on the block”. Um, Jessie, the veto comp hasn’t happened yet.
Of course, we now finally get to see the veto competition. Thanks for the nice segue, tool boy. This time around, the game is sort of a hockey competition. Libra says she’s feeling nervous because of all the fighting, and April claims she’s going to do everything she can to win. Jessie says that “me and Michelle are trying to fight the whole house. I’m going to win it fair and square and throw it in their faces. That will be sweet.” Um, if you had kept your mouth shut, you wouldn’t have to try so hard to win.
Basically, this game is similar to what we’ve seen in previous season. The person who has the worst shot is out of the game, but has the opportunity to win prizes, including the veto, that they can ultimately lose to those eliminated in later rounds. Michelle looks thoroughly confused, but jumps for joy when her feeble mind finally understands.
In the first round, it looks like Jessie may be out, but Memphis completely misses the net (and almost takes out Renny). His prize is the veto, but at least he’s smart enough to realize that he won’t be holding it for long.
Michelle is out in the second round after also missing the net, which pleases Libra. Of course, poor tool boy now feels like he’s “alone in the game’. Ugh. Michelle’s prize is a Hawaiian vacation, but she’s not nearly as smart as Memphis. She really thinks she’s going to Hawaii. Um, there are three other rounds to go. Somebody is bound to take away your prize.
The next round couldn’t have been better scripted. Libra is the last to go, and if she basically gets it in the net Jessie is eliminated. Suddenly Tool Boy is not so cocky. “I didn’t have a clue in the world what I was doing out there. You can kind of relate it to miniature golfing. I don’t golf because…I don’t know…my back’s too big maybe.” To borrow from April, oh my god. As you may have guessed, Libra eliminates Jessie, who wins a “slop surprise”. He trades with Memphis for the veto.
April loses in the next round, and her prize is a ten thousand dollar bar that she can later transfer as a bribe to anybody else. It is funny to me how the person who promised to do everything she can to win the veto decides to (momentarily, at least) let Jessie hang on to it. She says that she decided to keep the money because “I really did my part in the game this week”. Ugh.
Libra hits a perfect goal in the final round, which means she wins. Or does she? Jerry’s prize is a letter from home, which causes a gasp from the house. He makes some deal with April to split her prize three ways, and takes the veto away from Jessie, who whines that “you just let two other people take money out of your pocket”. I wonder if anybody in Jessie’s family can even write a letter.
Libra’s first place prize is…Jen and Sheila’s used red unitard. Jessie and Michelle immediately start cracking up. Don’t they get how this game works? Oh wait, now Michelle gets it, and is immediately concerned. Yes, you can guess what Libra does. Instead of planning a trip to Hawaii, Michelle has to wear the unitard for a week. Seriously, either way we as viewers are hurt by the thought of either of these two wearing this.
Jessie actually acts surprised when Libra announces her decision. Can he really be that stupid? Of course, April is also not happy. Hey silly blonde, Jerry already has the veto. You have no worries either way. Michelle couldn’t be more upset, and I actually laugh when Libra says “sorry, Michelle” in the diary room. Michelle still doesn’t understand how the game works. “How did everybody make out, and I got the shaft”, she screams in the diary room. “Ten thousand dollars, and this is what I get?” I love it!
Ok, there’s one more twist in this game. Memphis “slop surprise” is that he gets a slop pass to use when he desires, but right now he has to pick a person who would be automatically put on slop that week. With no hesitation, he picks Jerry, knowing there’s “no way in hell” he’ll use the veto on him. Jerry babbles on about being willing to “pay the price to win some power”. Um, Jerry, you really don’t have any power.
Before we go into the last commercial break, Jessie babbles about how this is “his life”, and he’s so “willing to stand up for the little people”. What does that even mean? Michelle is storming around the house, proclaiming that she’s “done with this house”. Jessie talks her out of it, promising that “we can get her (Libra) out next week”. Michelle’s still not completely happy, and rants in the diary room about how Libra is going to lose her kids because “she’s a horse-slut skank”. Again, what does that even mean? Finally, Michelle walks out of the shower wearing the unitard, and continues to talk about how she’s always screwed. Jessie tries to cheer her up by lying that her “ass looks amazing”, but she doesn’t care. The acoustic guitar music comes up as Jessie once again attempts to cheer her up.
I have one little complaint about this contest. When they’ve done this type of contest in previous seasons, the loser of the round would choose their prize. This year, the prizes were predetermined. They obviously did not know which players would end up with each prize, but setting it up that the two best prizes initially went to the worst competitors, and the unitard went to the winner, completely created new drama that they clearly didn’t need to add.
Finally, it’s veto meeting time. April assumes that Jerry isn’t going to use the veto, but claims (or was coached to say) that “I’m still unsure”. Jessie gets to talk first, and babbles that he “knows why he’s there…and he respects whether you take him off or me”. Memphis just says he wouldn’t expect him to take him off, and goes on a bit longer for no reason. Obviously, Jerry doesn’t use the veto. April finally cracks a smile, but Michelle doesn’t.
Jessie still thinks he’s got the votes to survive, and says that “it’s a sweet cookie to eat”. Who makes less sense – him or Manchelle? April says that she wants Memphis out because he hasn’t made a deal with her, and she’s not here to help the members of her alliance that want Jessie out. Oh, you ignorant twit.
Well, that was fun. Basically, 75% of this show was taken from an hour of footage from this past weekend. Oh, please vote for Dan to vote out Jessie.

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