Welcome to eviction night, aka the evening our weeklong nightmare of Michelle as HOH is over. Of course, it could be even worse in an hour if one of a couple of different suspects ends up taking her place in that hallowed room.
Before we get to that, though, we have a lot of material to endure before we find out who is the next HOH, and the contestants have done a great job at creating material designed to make us question who will be evicted this evening. I wonder if CBS had a hand in raising these inquiries. Oh no, they’d never manipulate a game show.
Let’s jump right in with the reactions to Jerry’s insane POV speech. Libra is actually quite funny when she sarcastically asks if Jerry had received the “Big Brother manual. Big Brother is not a game of honor, trust, and loyalty. This is not the Marines.” Renny adds that “the Colonel” ends up looking worse than Dan when he personally attacks others like he did.
Dan stands up, and babbles about how people can believe whatever they want, which makes Libra repeat the phrase “it’s a game” over and over as she walks away.
We now see Memphis in the HOH with Michelle holding his hands over his head in disbelief. “What was that all about?” Michelle lies and acts like she was worried he was going to use the veto, but feed watchers know he rehearsed his speech with her right before the ceremony. “It was just unnecessary”, he adds. “I think it was unnecessary.”
Libra walks into the spa room, where Dan and Keesha are hanging out, and apologizes for some reason for Jerry calling him a “Judas”. Dan acts like he’s depressed in the diary room, but suddenly screams out that “it can’t get any BETTER for me”. Well, not really, Dan, as the entire house believes your America’s Player. He believes the entire house has sympathy for him…which they don’t. Well, they probably did during his speech, but in this season that’s all forgotten within minutes.
At the end of this conversation, Keesha says that she’s not going to hate Michelle if she gets evicted, leading Libra to say “you’re not going to get evicted. I can bet my last dollar on it.” I guess it’s time to jump to a conversation that puts that statement in doubt, especially after Keesha responds with “that’s what Jessie thought, too”.
Oh yes, Big Brother’s editors don’t disappoint. April is now seen bitching to Ollie how she “can’t trust Keesha as far as I can throw the bitch”. Yeah, that wouldn’t be too far for that scrawny little twit. April points out that she is just as much at fault as Libra in the Jessie eviction, and Ollie does his usual game of agreeing with anything she says. At least in this case there’s some truth in the statements. (BTW, nice cam angle on Keesha in a bikini.)
Memphis and Dan are now seen sitting outside, and they complain to Keesha about how bored they are. Keesha babbles something about needing somebody’s back, and Memphis responds that “I’ve got your back, darling…I’d jump in front of a bullet for you”. Oh, I bet Christine wishes that was directed at her. After she goes back in the house, Memphis points out that they have free sailing “for at least two weeks” if they follow Keesha and Renny. Dan agrees, and says he has some dumb names ready for their alliance. They both agree that Renny is the wild card of their group.
Now we cut back to Ollie and April snuggling in the bedroom, and continuing to plot Keesha’s demise. They know they have Jerry’s support in anything they do, and decide to ask him to vote out Keesha. “He’s going to attach himself to people so he can be a swing vote. He’s playing both sides.”
Ollie then approaches Libra and asks if she wants to “still be here”. He tells her that they want to flip the house again because “Keesha is getting way too complacent”. (Is that the proper use of the term?) He asks her if she’s close to Dan, but she replies that she doesn’t know where she stands with him.
After a dumb analog about being a heart attack patient and Dan’s her defibrillator, she approaches Dan in the kitchen. April’s stripper heels walk a few feet away, and Libra makes her pitch. After complaining that he’s talking to loud, Libra talks about possibly having a “ninth life”. Dan says he needs more information, and Libra says there could be once again a split vote. In the diary room, Dan acts like he’s considering the offer, especially since Libra being in the house would remain a huge target. Still, he’s pretty noncommittal.
Oh boy, for the first time in this season we get the useless diary room discussions on both nominees. I don’t really miss this feature, and true to form it’s really a useless repeat of everything we’ve heard from everybody all week. I do cringe when April complains how she “feels bad for America” because they have to listen to Keesha’s voice. Well, I’m no fan of it either, but April really needs to stop believing she’s America’s Angel.
After the break, we go to a puff piece with Libra’s family. What’s interesting is that as an intro they’re using the conversation she had with Dan that started the conspiracy theorists believing that Dan and Libra were brought into the house together as a team. Libra’s husband is shown giving one of the twins a bath, and talks about how he encouraged her to sign up for the show “to have an experience”. He goes on to talk about how Libra’s mother is such a help, and (after a short statement from her oldest child) we cut to footage of Libra crying over her kids.
We then see the family watch her win the Hawaiian trip, which the husband says “was a good choice”. He’s not happy, though, when they show the clip of Michelle saying her kids should be taken away. “Nobody should ever wish something like that on a mother. It’s as cold as you can get.”
With this segment over, we finally join the house in the living room. Wow, Dan gets the first question of the night. Hopefully, this will stop the whispering about how the fact that he hasn’t received any previous questions is suspicious. Julie asks him about how his faith influences his gameplay. Jerry looks on as Dan admits that he’s made some mistakes, but the “first thing I do when I get out of here is to go to confession”.
Jerry’s up next about his veto speech, and he admits that some of his speech was the “heat of the moment”, but that he still feels that “religion became a prop”. Dan responds that being called a Judas didn’t bother him; he just wishes as a teacher he had been called “Mr. Judas…the only thing I can do in this house is forgive him”. Jerry’s clearly not happy with that retort.
Memphis is up next, and is asked why he acted shocked when the Judas question came up. I don’t really get what he’s saying, but he questions whether Jerry knows the Judas story, and that Judas ended up hanging himself. “As long as Dan doesn’t hang himself, I’m cool. When personal attacks come out, the instinct for me is to stand up for people that I care about.”
Renny is now asked who has surprised her the most since they entered the house. “I think they’ve all surprised me. They’re really a wonderful bunch of young people.” Now that’s a nice, seemingly prepared speech.
It’s now time to mute the television, as we talk to Michelle in the HOH. Wait, you mean I can’t do that? Ugh. Julie points out that she’s been hanging around April lately, so what’s the status of her relationship with her? After wishing her parents a happy anniversary, she goes on about how she feels bad for her because her word “got broken with me last week…she knows that I actually keep my word in this house”. Oh boy.
Next up is a question about the more hateful things she has said in the house, including statements about Libra’s kids and how Dan was going to burn in hell. She says she regrets what she said about Dan, and that she doesn’t think Libra’s a bad mother. “There’s just decisions she’s made that could have been different. I would have taken the letter, and I don’t even have any kids.” (Insert Scott eye roll here.)
The segment ends with Michelle talking about how great it was to get a letter from home. Yes, she loves them and misses them…as does every contestant.
It’s now eviction time, and Keesha gets to make her final statement first. “If you do evict me, there are no hard feelings. Even though there have been crazy moments in this house, I have loved every last minute of it.” (That’s not what you said last Saturday evening as you were screaming outside.) She goes on with taking responsibility for her actions last week.
Libra follows with how “crazy” the game is, and that “each week it changes on a dime”. She still stands “proud and tall” with what she did last week, but stumbles on the next couple of sentences. Once again, a nominee basically copies Angie’s speech from two weeks ago about playing the game “for your self”.
The voting now begins Renny, who votes to evict Libra, as does Memphis. We now go to commercials, and when we return Jerry votes to evict Libra. I guess the plan to swerve the house isn’t going to happen. Dan, Ollie, and April also cast votes to evict Libra. It’s unanimous.
Libra seems to take it well, and hugs everybody as she walks out. “Have a good time, and enjoy this game.” After useless footage of the remaining houseguests standing around, Julie begins the interview by asking a laughing Libra about her alliance. She says they were explosive because they were all so similar. “We wanted to push the envelope all the time”. Outside the house, she says they’d all get along fabulously.
Julie moves on and asks about the theory that she was the mastermind behind every eviction. “They gave me a lot of credit. I deserve some of it, but not all of it.” She admits that her role in the various scenarios did eventually catch up to her.
Next up is the inevitable questions about leaving her newborns. She talks about the “paradox” of “leaving your family to help your family”, and how she felt she needed to go “against the norm”.
Ollie begins the goodbye messages by complaining about her going against April’s wishes last week. April then continues this theme, saying that going against her “came back to get you”. Renny says that also being a mother created a “special bond” between them. Jerry, of course, whines. There’s no need to recap his gibberish, so we end with Keesha’s Hallmark statement about how she’ll never forget her. That’s the best you can do?
It’s now HOH time, and it’s called Diary Room Confessions. Oooh, the game involves Julie reading things that one of the previously evicted people said, and they have to guess who said it. Well, the first question’s a gimme, as it involves a nap that paid off. Yet, nobody buzzes in, and Julie is forced to repeat. Renny finally buzzes in, and gets it right. She chooses to eliminate April, who is not happy at all about this. (Smart move.)
The next question is who said “the player got played”? Dan buzzes in, and correctly says it was Brian. He eliminates Jerry. (Another smart move!) The third question is about loneliness, but Ollie buzzes in before the question is finished and makes an incorrect choice. I now love this competition!
Memphis buzzes in on the next question, but is eliminated by saying the answer was Steven. The next question involves somebody who called Jessie a tool, but Dan is incorrect with his guess of Angie. (Blowing another HOH, Dan?)
It’s now down to Keesha and Renny, and the final question is about one of Jerry’s speeches. Renny buzzes in, and correctly guesses Brian. Renny is HOH! The studio audience goes nuts! Three people in the backyard aren’t happy, though!
We get a final look at the house, and Renny is alone in the bedroom collecting her thoughts. April and Ollie, meanwhile, look worried. They should!
Entries in Recap (20)
Welcome to eviction night, aka the evening our weeklong nightmare of Michelle as HOH is over. Of course, it could be even worse in an hour if one of a couple of different suspects ends up taking her place in that hallowed room.
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights! I’m Scott Hudson, your host and ringside analyst for the second installment of the battle of the dullards.
Yes, for the second Tuesday in a row we’re going to sit through lots of screaming, whining, crying, accusations, boasts, pledges, and much, much more (or less, depending on how you look at things). Oh yeah, and there will also be a veto competition and an extremely self-serving POV speech that somebody better pray is edited down so the person who gives it can show his face at home once the show is over.
Quick, take a guess how the show opens. Yes, it’s the reactions to Michelle’s nominations of Keesha and Libra. Can this be where we first hear the term two-headed snake? At least Keesha is smart enough to understand why she was put up (Jessie’s eviction), but adds that “I’m sure she had a little blonde girl in her ear”. Libra tells Michelle that she “appreciates” her speech, or really her non-speech. In the diary room, she also is not surprised, since she is responsible for the unitard, the loss of the Hawaiian trip, and “I kicked out her romance/showmance/I don’t know what you wanna call it”.
Dan, though, is shocked because he “fully expected” to be put up for nomination. “My strategy to gain sympathy from people must be working.” Jerry’s pissed, though, because…well, you know why since he’s repeated it ever since Thursday. “The only way he could justify doing something like this is if he’s America’s Player.”
Michelle attempts some deep thoughts (and fails miserably) when talking about her decision. “I want them to feel what it feels like to campaign against each other; how it feels to have their own alliance have to pick between the both of them. Because that’s what they did to Jessie.” For some reason, she goes to a mirror and blows Jessie a kiss.
Keesha goes into the bedroom, and wipes away some tears. Dan comes in, and asks if she wants to talk to him. Keesha says she is pissed that April’s key was the first one pulled out. “Now, all of a sudden that’s her best friend.”
Libra then walks in, and instructs Keesha to “hold your head up high. No matter what, I’m not going to campaign against you. We will ride it out.” Um, that’s not how it really plays out, but anybody that has watched Libra in action should realize that. Keesha again complains about April’s key, and Libra responds that she’s “got it coming, baby…get that bitch out of here”.
Keesha is now up in the HOH, and Michelle begins with one of her favorite words – “honestly”. Ugh. Michelle tells her that she wants Libra out, and that she’s being “dead honest” with her. Everybody that has already been evicted was a direct threat to Libra “and nobody else”, according to Michelle. Keesha admits in the diary room that she orchestrated Jessie’s eviction, but “I’m definitely going to keep my mouth shut”.
Normally, the POV competition comes much later in the show, but they have that time saved up for the battle of the dimwits. Michelle calls everybody together for the selection of the players, and Dan’s only wish is that Jerry is NOT selected. Michelle pulls out April’s name, Keesha gets Memphis, and poor Libra’s hand pulls out Jerry’s name. Ollie finally gets to be a part of the show, as he’s selected as the host.
Before we get to the competition, though, we get to hear Jerry bitch and moan about everybody not named himself, Ollie, and April. “Honestly (oh, that word again), I’ve never been more at peace”, claims April. “I don’t have to fake myself to that stupid bitch again…and be forced to talk to her. I’d rather shoot myself right now.” Ollie adds that if he knew that putting her up would “shut her up, we would have done that in week one”. April adds in the diary room that she believes the Jessie eviction was Libra’s plan, and that “she’s a compulsive liar”.
Jerry, though, still won’t let go of Dan’s so-called betrayal. “I don’t think Libra is more dangerous than Dan. (He’s) our deeper threat in this game.”
Michelle is now seen heading up to the HOH, and guess who is waiting for her? Yes, Jerry, and he immediately launches into his belief that Dan is America’s Player. Michelle agrees, and says she’s been “thinking that for a week now”. They go back and forth with their reasons for this belief, and Jerry uses the opportunity to put in Michelle’s head that the veto should be used to put him up as a replacement nomination. “I want Dan baaaaaad.”
Wow, we’re still not having the competition? It’s time for something we (thankfully) rarely see these days – the wacky “aren’t they funny people” segment. Dan thinks he’s the life of the house, and enlists Memphis in playing a silly prank where they dress up as burglars and wake up the girls. Come on, you have four hours of drunken fights to squeeze into just a few minutes, and you show us this? Poor Renny, though.
Finally, it’s veto time, and it’s called “Cry Me a Veto”. Memphis says there are “thousands of onions”, while Michelle calls it a “wall of onions…and IIIIII HHHHAAAATTTTTEEEEE Onions”. Shut up, you twit.
So the competition involves chopping up onions and and transferring them to two different bins. The heaviest veto bin wins the veto, but the two players with the heaviest “mystery” bins wins something else. Memphis says he was playing for nothing but the mystery prize, while April says she wanted an “equal amount in both, so it looks like I wasn’t greedy”.
I won’t bore you with Libra’s lengthy description of her strategy, or anybody else for that matter…or their complaints about the smell or anything else, either. When it’s finally over, Memphis mystery box weighed 33.8 pounds, while April had 27.4. Everybody else was substantially less, with Libra having none as she was playing for only the veto. Memphis then had to pick a prize envelope, and unfortunately for him he won an onion necklace that he has to wear for a full 24 hours. Dumb April, though, scores with five designer outfits. As usual, she’s nothing but charming when she says “it couldn’t have happened to a better person in the house”. Yes, she did say that, and she wasn’t being sarcastic.
As for the veto boxes, April somehow has just as much in that box as she did in the prize box. “I told you, I’m very consistent”, she brags. Libra’s box is weighed second to last, and she jumps to the lead with 32 pounds. Unfortunately for her, Jerry takes it with 36.8 pounds. Keesha and Libra are both crushed. “I’m done”, says Libra. “It’s over. Take it.”
Jerry, of course, has to gloat, both outside and inside. “I worked my ass off. Old man.” In the diary room, he babbles some ridiculous story about young and old bulls. Just shut up, please. Dan adds that he feels “very uneasy”.
After the commercials, Jerry is still celebrating (and tossing the middle finger towards the girls’ bedroom), which makes dumb April and Ollie giggle. “We gotta get Dan”, he whispers. Oh my god, we have to hear ONCE AGAIN how Dan is a “Judas” and betrayed people. Get over it, old man! He implores his so-called friends to join in on calling him that. (BTW, in case you’re wondering, the bleeped word Jerry uses is “cocksucker”.)
Jerry continues his victory lap up in the HOH, where Michelle tells him she’s proud of him. “Listen, I did that for Jessie.” No, you did that for your own self-importance. “Why do you think I worked so hard? Do you think that was easy for me?” Ugh, come on. He comes close to begging Michelle to let him use the veto, but Michelle’s only focus is on evicting Libra.
It’s now time for that battle that I have mentioned a couple of times, and it begins with happiness. You may recall that the house won a feast on Sunday’s episode, and we begin the sequence with everybody rushing out of the HOH to see what has been prepared. Michelle could care less about the food; it’s all about the wine for her.
Everything is peachy at first, until Keesha has the sappy idea to go around the table and say good things about each other. Memphis immediately responds with “I think Keesha’s crazy.” Little do you know, my friend.
For some reason, Renny chooses Jerry as the person to butter up, and as you may expect he eats it up. After some accolades to the “girls”, we move on to Dan, who actually said something about everybody, but of course we only see what he said about Jerry. After he’s finished, Jerry says he wants to reply and basically trashes him.
Keesha goes last, and we see her apologizing to April. After joking that she wants to borrow her new designer clothes, Libra butts in that this “is the only reason she’s kissing up to you”. Now the fun begins, as Michelle says she’s “the master of ruining a good time”.
Before we get to it, though, Ollie takes off his hat and babbles some niceties about how he’s there for anybody. Libra jumps in immediately after he’s finished and asks if she can talk to him. She gets up as we hear Jerry yell “we need more wine”. No, you don’t.
In the storage room, Libra tells Ollie that when they had the fight over her vote, she’d “never been hurt so bad”. Something tells me that’s a lie. She’s especially not happy about being called a “scalliwag” and a “ho”. What exactly is a scalliwag? Ollie tries to interject, but Libra’s on a roll as she continues to whine about her family and kids. “I didn’t think you’d say that to me, Ollie.” To his credit, Ollie does try to calm her down, but Libra takes over to explain why she had to vote out Jessie. “Just so you know, it was brought to me. Don’t think I was the catalyst.” When asked, she outs Keesha as the real culprit.
By skipping over a lot of material, we now are with Michelle and Keesha in HOH, where Michelle is complaining about Libra’s negativity at the dinner table. She recounts the designer clothing remark, and Keesha acts surprised. “She honestly said that?”
Michelle runs downstairs to grab April to verify the comment, and she says in the diary room that it was her plan “to turn two friends against each other…and flip this house upside down”. April confirms the story, and now Michelle runs to get Libra. “Bring the bitch into the room. If she wants to talk, let her talk.”
At first, Libra denies saying it, but then says she was joking. “I was laughing. It wasn’t to be rude.” Memphis, who is turning on my friend Christine by prancing around in a towel, decides it is much smarter to disappear. “I’m going to bed.” Smart move.
All of the girls start yelling at the same time, but when Keesha starts in on how she’s “always stood behind you”, Libra jumps up and yells, “well, let’s go there, then”. We now get a couple of minutes of them each pledging their innocence, and increasingly getting heated with each outburst. Meanwhile, all of the guys (and Renny) are downstairs eating dessert.
Even though she set the fight going, Michelle is becoming increasingly upset that the spotlight isn’t on her. So she does make it about herself, and how innocent SHE is, and her and Libra begin screaming at each other.
Dan calls the feast a “benefit dinner” because “every benefit was for me. With all of the insanity, everybody’s beginning to forget a little about me.” Yeah, he’s right.
Back upstairs, Libra brings out the info that Ollie just gave her about how she supposedly was the ringleader against Jessie. “So the votes came to you,” questions Michelle, “and you didn’t go out and get the votes?” The focus shifts back to Keesha, who says that Jessie was coming after her. “No, he was not”, claims Michelle, along with a fake-smiling April.
Keesha says that before her birthday, she got along fine with Jessie. Then a certain blonde came and “whispered sweet nothings about Jessie”. After denying this, Keesha asks her if she “takes credit for anything you’ve done in the past”. “No.”
Keesha has had enough, and wanders out of the HOH. “You guys are going to evict whomever you want.” Michelle’s not happy, and chases her around the house. In the diary room, Keesha babbles some more about how she doesn’t like April. Neither does America, sweetie.
After catching up to Keesha, Michelle starts yelling how “I didn’t do anything to make you frickin’ walk out on me.” When Keesha yells back that she doesn’t care if she’s evicted, Michelle is now mad that she’s now being yelled at. Um, Michelle, it’s not always about you. Finally, Keesha explains that she “can’t play the middleman between crazy and crazier”. I must say, that’s a pretty good explanation. It’s a nice job of editing, as every time Keesha says something about April, we get a shot of her phony smile.
It’s time for the POV ceremony, but before we get to that I have some bitching to do. I realize that the producers had to pare down three hours of fighting into just a few minutes, but there were lots of material not shown that needed to be shown. Instead of the phony comedy involving Dan and Memphis, why not let us see Michelle’s hissy fit where she battled every pillow in the house? That was a moment made for television. How about a taste of some of the other mini-fights that evening? Almost every combination of the four bimbos paired off at some point during the night.
Ok, back to the ceremony, and we begin with Jerry reading the prepared text of what happens at these gatherings. He babbles how this “is my chance to get Dan out of the house, or I can just stay and honor Michelle’s choices on who is on the block. Expect the unexpected.”
Jerry gathers the troops, and Keesha’s speech is nothing but how she knows she’s up because of her role in evicting Jessie. Libra, who obviously applied her TV face before the meeting, basically just repeats what Keesha just said but adds that she’s “to take the consequences of that action”.
Instead of just announcing what he’s doing, Jerry has decided to “talk about what I feel”. He goes on to talk about how Keesha and Libra would not have been his choice as nominees. We all know who he wished was up there, and Jerry continues on with how Dan is a hypocrite that hides behind his Bible. “You will always be Judas in my eyes.” (Oh boy, what I would give of a screencap of Libra’s bug eyes right now.) Memphis rolls his eyes in disgust, as do probably 90% of the viewers. Finally, Jerry moves on after telling Dan that it’s his “lucky day”. No, he doesn’t use the veto.
Dan says that “whatever the point of Jerry’s speech was, it didn’t accomplish anything”. Keesha gives the usual “I’m not going to leave this house without a fight” soundbite, while Libra says she’s going to be a “little more sleuth in my actions” because the game “changes every four hours”. Her plan is to let everybody know that Keesha was the person who really was responsible for Jessie’s eviction.
Here we go with what promises to be a painful episode. Yeah, we’ll have the satisfaction of once again seeing the stunned looks when Jessie’s name is announced for eviction, along with the food competition involving past cast members. For every satisfying minute, though, we’re going to have five that feature Michelle’s awful accent and self-importance, or Jerry’s growing arrogance.
I don’t think it’s any secret that we begin with the eviction of Jessie. Michelle says she was seeing red. No, idiot, that’s your unitard. “I was enraged. I was furious. I was angry.” Um, those are all the same thing. She starts bawling about how much she misses him.
Jessie is shown whispering to Michelle to “stay with Memphis” right before he walked out. He says a similar thing to Memphis about Michelle. Silly Keesha is “so excited” because “it worked”. She’s proud of herself because for the first time in her life she actually orchestrated something.
April, of course, was “in shock”, and claims she “literally vomited in my mouth”. Something tells me by looking at your emaciated face that you may have a history of having that problem. “I felt like it was a low blow to me, and Jessie got caught in the middle”.
Dan knows he’s in trouble, especially when “everybody looked at me” after the vote was announced. “No matter what I did, or what America did, somebody was going to be mad at me.” We see Dan tell Jessie that he’s sorry, and Jessie replies “it’s your word” as he walks out the door.
As Jessie’s name goes to black and white, Jerry is staring intensely while Libra lets out a chuckle. “I was smiling from ear to ear. Put me in a Bright White commercial, honey, because I was glad to see him hit the road.” She then goes through a litany of dumb clichés. Just shut up.
Jerry is now openly staring at Dan, who comments on the amount of tension in the kitchen. “I just tried to look at the floor and not make eye contact.” Jerry continues to stare as we hear him say that “Dan has disrespected me by breaking his word and hiding behind his cross. I now have no respect for Dan at all.”
Michelle chases down April in the bathroom and demands to know what happened. Michelle, I have some advice for you – high heels do not go well with that awful unitard, even if you think it makes your ass look great. Michelle tells April that “Dan can go to hell”, and once again we hear the lie that April “saved their asses last week”. Yes, it’s always about you, little girl. Ollie walks in, and nothing of importance is said, as usual.
Back in the kitchen, Libra quietly tells Memphis that “we need you”. Michelle is still wandering around the house, and promises to get them back for Jessie. That’s one of a handful of lines we’ve been hearing over and over the past four days.
Finally, we move on to Michelle’s surprising HOH win. Immediately, Jerry, who just hours before hated anything to do with Michelle’s “side”, hugs her and screams “screw you people”. Walking by Dan, he yells some more about not “hiding behind your cross”.
Yes, Michelle, we know it’s for Jessie. She yells it in the diary room; she yells it to the outdoor camera. She’s so happy for herself that she sat through all of the wakeup messages the night before. “I’m flipping this house upside down.” Are ya?
We move on to yet another cliché, as April says “karma is a bitch”. Ugh, can they be given a list of phrases they can’t say? “Are they scared of Michelle and I? I’d be scared of us, too.” Wait, Michelle and I?
And we hear some more thoughts and prayers to Jessie, as Dan sits with a glum look. “I tried to uphold my word, but I put myself in a situation where I had to break my word with somebody. That’s my own fault. However, I never swore on my cross, and I never swore on my religion.”
Tell Jerry that, as he again goes after Dan and his religious beliefs. Just as Jerry didn’t wear his military stuff when he put up Brian for eviction, Dan took off his cross just before the CBS show. I really do hate meaningless gestures.
Michelle is again storming around, now calling people traitors. Libra and Keesha joke around a bit, but they know they’re in trouble. I do laugh, though, when Keesha talks about how she “sent Jessie packing back to his REAL girlfriend”. Are you so sure he has one?
This is becoming tiring, but now Michelle is stomping around proclaiming how she’s “never gone back on her word in this house”. Well, you really haven’t had an opportunity, as your friends have been evicted every week. She jumps on the anti-religion bandwagon, flipping off Dan and complaining about his cross. Dan says he knew people were going to be upset, but “I didn’t anticipate people would be this upset”. He disappears into the bedroom, and coves himself with a pillow. “I need to start drawing out some sympathy.” Yeah, that’s going to help.
Michelle now sets her sights on Renny, who was supposedly laughing at her. Standing a few feet away, Renny asks when this happened, and it turns out that she had teased her earlier in the day about staying up throughout the entire wake up call fiasco. “It wasn’t in a derogatory way”, she replies. When Michelle replies, Renny blows up and tells her to not “say that shit to me”. Good for you, Renny.
Libra and Keesha walk in as Michelle is yelling at everybody to not hide from her. “I am not afraid of you”, says Keesha. Oh really? April joins in with Michelle, which leads Libra to yell, “oh, now y’all best friends”. Good one. This gets April fired up (as you may expect), and Michelle screams “you’re a liar” as Libra walks away. Jerry just has to get involved, and starts yelling that she’s “going home!”
Just when it looks like it’s over, April screams that Libra swore on her children. “I did not swear on my children!” “Yes, you did!” “No, I didn’t!” “Yes, you did!” “Tastes great!” “Less filling!” As this goes on, Dan stirs and I almost see a smile on his face.
Jerry still has to add his two cents, and really pisses Libra off by calling her a dummy. When Libra responds, Jerry for some ungodly reason does some weird sort of hand movements. Having gone five seconds without screaming, Michelle has to add some more to the fight, but it’s really not worth recapping.
Finally, somebody notices that Dan’s not around, so Michelle jumps up to go confront. “Put down that Bible”, and put down that cross. I don’t even think he’s a school teacher. Jerry adds that “he needs to be praying”.
Memphis has been sitting around watching the festivities, and he says that “it’s a little much”. In the diary room, he adds that “it just blows my mind that anybody would stoop to the level of saying anything about somebody’s religion. Where I come from, people get punched in the mouth.”
Thank God for commercials. I never thought I’d say that. When we get back, it’s time for Michelle’s confrontation with Dan. Memphis comes in the room beforehand, and Dan tells him his plan to try to create some sympathy. Dan says that he’s hoping that Memphis can “get to Michelle’s ear” (how can he with all that awful hair?) and sway her to not put him up. Memphis says his plan for the week is to just sit back and watch everybody else blow up.
Oh, we still have to wait for Michelle to babble to Dan. Now she’s sitting with Memphis, who is promising that he doesn’t have something going with “those people”. “I didn’t promise them anything. The only thing I promised them was if I won HOH they wouldn’t go up.” At the end of their talk, he whispers to her that he’ll “always have your back”.
Finally, it’s the moment I thought would happen ten minutes ago. She walks in and immediately asks if he’s really a school teacher. What/ Ugh. Then we get the interrogation. “Why’d you do it? Why? Why?” She goes on and on with the same question, and Dan really offers no answer (although I love his smile for the cameras after she walked out). The producers did a fantastic job of editing this segment down, and I bow to them for that.
Libra is now in the kitchen doing what she does best (her nails), and asks Michelle if she still wants her to come up to see her pictures. “It’s a game. I’d like for you to see where I come from.” Oh yeah, I bet Libra is just dying to see that mess you call a family.
Of course, that means we get to my least favorite segment of the week – the entrance to the HOH. It’s funny how April is suddenly so interested in all things Michelle; even calling her brother “good looking”. Yeah, I believe that you think that. Memphis notices how fake she’s acting, and makes fun of her in the diary room. “Shut up! I can’t stand the fakeness.”
Oh god, it gets worse, as she reads her letter from home. Libra has her live TV fake smile, but it’s Renny who is truly touched by what she hears. She gets up, and leaves the room crying. She explains in the diary room that she became emotional while thinking of her own family. Dan comes in to console her, and tells her that “her family is proud of you”. Keesha is next, and basically says the same thing.
Jerry and April, the house’s premier ass kissers, are now in the HOH asking what Dan said to her. You can guess what Michelle says in response. Jerry says he won’t ever talk to him again, which I’m sure will really bother him. Oh, Ollie’s up there too. It’s funny how he can be in a room and not be noticed. Jerry continues to go on and on about how his religion is phony.
April gets fired up when Jerry mentions Libra, and we again rehash the issue about swearing on her children. They all agree that Libra is the person that needs to go this week. As we go to commercials, we get a quick shot of Libra lying down with one of her patented ugly expressions.
Now that we’re back, it’s time for the heavily promoted food competition against former houseguests. Unfortunately, the former competitors are not present. Everybody is excited when they discover they’re competing against these people, and scream when they see Brian on the TV screen.
The contest involves “real world” questions, where they have to give true/false answers to whether a news story is real or not. Unfortunately, it’s not the houseguests I want to see return. I mean, really, who cares about Chicken George, Bunky, or a heavily-perspiring Mike Boogie? Ewww, Amy’s not looking great these days, nor is Jun. At least Janelle still looks good (as does Jen), and I laugh when April gives Ollie a dirt look for noticing her.
So this game is (as usual) sort of convoluted. A fact is read off (which represents one day of food), and then the returning houseguest babbles about this fact to try to get their opponent to make the wrong guess. Keesha looks confused.
Dan goes first, and he chooses to go against Boogie. The “fact” revolves around Favre’s return to football, and being with the Jets. Boogie recites the actual facts, and Dan says it’s false. Obviously, he’s wrong, but to be fair, who would have ever guessed that to be the case? The entire house is shocked by this story. I’m more shocked by Boogie’s sweating problem.
Renny now goes against Jen, and the topic involves gas prices. Jen claims that Renny’s her favorite, and then babbles nothing to convince Renny anything. Renny is correct, as you may expect, so they get food on Tuesday.
Dirty old man Jerry is next, and of course he picks Janelle, and screams that he loves her. Janelle yells back that he’s hot. Oh boy. Their question involves Jessie, and whether he was offered the cover of some fitness magazine. Michelle immediately wakes up, but is surprised when Janelle says “he’s not even that cute”. Dumb Jerry believes the story to be true, which obviously is not the case. Dan complains “it’s been like only eight hours”. Yes, Dan, Jerry really is that stupid.
The next contest is for a grill, and Memphis chooses to go against Amy. This topic is whether China has banned bald and smelly cab drivers during the Olympis, and Amy talks nonstop for the full 30 seconds. What she said I have no idea, though. Memphis incorrectly says that it’s a false story. Wow, even I didn’t know that.
Ollie now goes against last season’s Matt, who says “I see you doing your thing”. “I’m just trying to be like you, player”. Yeah, we know what they’re talking about. Matt then flirts with Michelle, which I’m sure we’ll be hearing about for the rest of the season. Matt can’t resist a jab at Natalie, though, which makes me laugh.
Their topic is about whether China can control the rain, and Matt has some outlandish story about a laser that “shoots up to the satellites”. Ollie doesn’t buy it, saying that he “has the game with the ladies” but not with science. It’s too bad that Matt is actually correct.
It’s now Libra’s turn, and she chooses Bunky. Their question is whether Cheech and Chong have reunited. Do you think Libra has even heard of Cheech and Chong? Libra thinks Bunky is lying, and she also is wrong. Renny, the only person who has won so far, says she’d like to see their reunion tour.
Michelle gets to play for a bonus prize, which is a feast. She chooses to go against Jase, and for some reason makes a weird spaceship noise, which makes Matt crack up. Their question is about whether the earthquake is real or not. Michelle gets this once correct, so finally the conspiracy about this event is answered! Too bad they probably shouldn’t have won this prize, as everybody will see during Tuesday’s episode.
April is the next up, and obviously she has to go against Chicken George. Their question is whether Britney Spears has decided to make a country album, and dumb April doesn’t believe that George would lie to her. Um, the game is to convince you to make a wrong choice, you twit! Yes, she answers that it must be true.
Finaly, we get to Keesha, and she obviously has to go against Jun. This question involves a Paris Hilton political ad, and Jun makes up a story about how Paris screwed it up. Keesha says it’s not in the news, and is correct.
To recap, the house is on slop for five of the next seven days, and Brian concludes by saying “that’s what you get for voting me out”. Good one, and this time I mean it.
With the game over, we now go back to Michelle. Isn’t it always about Michelle? She’s now talking with Memphis about the nominations. Michelle says that she’s DECIDED that she’s “all by myself right now”. Hmmm, then why have you been bitching and crying all weekend about being alone? Ugh. Memphis again tells her that he’s not with “them”. Michelle is already thinking about the finals, and tells Memphis that he’s the one she wants to be up there with.
Memphis makes his plea for Dan, saying that he’s not in any alliance that he’s aware of, but Michelle’s not buying it since he voted with Keesha, Libra, and Renny. She also claims that she’s playing strategically, not personally. Um, sure you are.
Back downstairs, Renny is bitching about April. Memphis comes in, and they all talk about convincing Michelle to put her up. Renny goes upstairs to try to make that happen. Michelle babbles on about how she wishes she could share this win with Jessie, but Renny doesn’t look too interested. Renny asks why April even put him up. “Jessie had to bite the bullet for her. She’s the number one threat in my book.” Michelle says she “seems to be out of the loop on a lot of things. I’ve got a lot to think about.”
Yes, this episode is finally almost over. We see everybody sitting outside contemplating their futures, as Michelle struggles to figure out how the keys fit into the contraption. Why do they still have the HOH read that script about their duties as HOH? We know it by heart.
Memphis again says his strategy has been to lay low, Renny again states that she hopes to God that April is put up, and Dan worries that he’s going up but hopes that “the kid from Tennessee” has saved him. Libra knows she’s “Michelle’s biggest target by far” but claims “I’m ok with it”.
The keys are then pulled out, and I’m shocked that April’s came out first. Renny’s also a bit surprised, and clearly not happy. We go down the line, and Dan is the last key selected, with Keesha and Libra now on the block. Michelle gets up and babbles that it isn’t personal; it’s strategy. Really? How could that be? You can say that as many times as you want, but that doesn’t make it true.
Dan is happy that “my strategy is working exactly how I wanted it to work. Michelle thinks I’m weak.” Jerry still won’t let it slide with Dan, whining that he deserves “more” than just being put on the block. “He will always be known as Judas.” Keesha babbles the usual lines about giving it “everything she’s got” to stay in the house, and Libra says she was disappointed that Michelle’s speech “didn’t pack the punch I was looking for”.
With that, this long, delayed episode is finally over. See you Tuesday with the bitchfest of the year!
Here we go with what could be either one of the greatest swerves in Big Brother history, or a predictable disappointment. Will the outcast hens follow through with their plan to go against the oversexed Barbie? Will America (or the Big Brother producers) do the right thing and make Dan do the right thing?
If these events do occur, what will be the reaction? Will Jessie go nuts when he hears he’s evicted and trash the house on his way out? Will Michelle tear off her unitard and become that Superhero (with a not-so-fantastic ass) she claims to be? Is it possible that April will become so irate that a bit of color comes to her pale, undernourished face?
We’ve got a long way to go before we get to the moment of truth. As always, we get the reaction to the non-event of Jerry’s decision to not use the veto. Jessie says “everything should be a pretty smooth ride” as long as everybody abides by April’s wishes. “I know I’m not going anywhere. Sweet beans!” Does he really think he’s charming when he babbles that garbage? Oh, and put your shirt on, tool boy.
April says she feels “really, really good” about Jerry not using the veto. Of course you do, you silly twit. He did what you wanted. Memphis says there is “no alliance anymore. It’s time to start from square one.” For some reason, we see shots of Jessie flexing as Memphis talks. Why?
We move on to Keesha and Libra babbling in the bedroom. Keesha says that she hopes April changes her mind on who she wants to have go home because “Jessie is coming after me.”
”No, he’s coming after me”, replies Libra. “Me too.” “No, it’s me.” “Uh uh, it’s me.” Well, it stopped after Keesha’s “me too”, but it could have just as well gone on back and forth since these are two people that always have to have all of the attention. Libra does point out that Jessie, who is sleeping next door, does nothing but “sit in that room. He doesn’t add anything to the house.” In the diary room, Libra repeats that line almost word for word – just with a more volume and a headshake. The two decide that they need to get April to change her focus.
April enters the room sometime after that. When, I don’t know. The producers want us to believe it was immediately, and Libra is still lying in bed in the same clothes from the previous scene. But I don’t believe Keesha was wearing a bikini in the previous shot. Regardless, both of them start whining about Jessie to her, but she’s not too intereseted.
Keesha is frustrated, and babbles in the diary room about how hard she’s tried to like April. “When somebody is so fake to your face, and you can see right through it, it’s so annoying.”
According to April, Memphis is playing the game just as hard as anybody, but he’s just not as loud as Jessie. Libra tells the whispering Barbie to calm down, and that they’re just communicating their fears. Again, though, she’s a lot more expressive in the diary room, complaining about how going after Memphis is more beneficial only to April.
Memphis is now lying out with Keesha, and again we get to hear the usual garbage about lying and not breaking promises from Keesha. Memphis points out that “people are promising out their game”. Keesha adds in the diary that Jessie needs to go because he “eats a lot, sleeps a lot, and causes a lot of problems in the house”. After she notes that they need four votes, Memphis mentions something about getting Dan’s vote.
Wow, Keesha actually picked up on that hint, and moved on to Dan, who puts on the charm by telling her that she’s the “one person in this game I can talk to”. Hmmm. She comes right out and says, “I want Jessie gone”. Dan admits that he doesn’t want Memphis to go, but they both acknowledge that if their plan doesn’t work they’ll be the first to go next week.
Now Keesha is back in the bedroom with Libra, who asks what they’re going to do about the situation. Keesha is suddenly all tough, saying “anybody that thinks I’m gonna roll over and do what they want…” Libra points out that they only have three votes, but Keesha says her “instinct” says she can get Dan’s vote. Libra says she’ll do it if they can get the numbers, but that “it will be world war three in here”.
Keesha goes outside and brings Memphis into the bedroom. Libra immediately threatens him that she’ll kill him if she saves him and he puts her up the next week. Keesha again points out that they need to get Dan’s word. Surprise, surprise, guess who walks in at that second? Dan gives his word, but they all promise to not talk about it. Everybody jumps around and hugs.
Meanwhile, April is whining to Jerry how two of their alliance members “jumped” her and “double-teamed” her about booting out Jessie. Is that really how it happened? Jerry thinks they have the votes, but promises to talk to Dan. “Dan supports me because I brought him into our alliance. We saved him.” Oh, you silly old man.
Jerry does his part, and talks to Dan about how the hens are going to turn against their super fantastic, giant alliance. Dan does a great job at playing dumb. “This soon?” Jerry claims that April feels threatened, and that Dan shouldn’t listen to their overtures. “We agreed to support the HOH, and we shouldn’t break that.” Jerry goes into Jessie’s room and informs him that he’s safe. Is he?
Dan is now sitting outside by himself babbling to the cameras about how “crazy” everybody is. “Who does America hate more – Jessie or Memphis? If you want out Jessie, I’m going to be in trouble. If you want Memphis, I’m going to be in a lot of trouble. My rear is going to be under fire big time. America, you better make the right decision. I gave you an 18 second hug. Hook me up.”
Human interest time, as we visit with Dan’s football team in Detroit. Yeah, it’s awesome their coach is on television. I’m glad I’m not drinking every time I hear a cliché. Wait, I think I’m in love with Dan’s sister. His mom, though, doesn’t think he should have taken the America’s Player option. Well, I don’t think BB should have brought it back. We have to endure a bunch of clips of everybody thinking that he is America’s Player.
Wow, we’re already going to the living room. Julie jumps right in with a question to Manchelle about her unitard. “I love it and I hate it, and I do look great in it.” No, you don’t. Stop the madness. She’s asked if there’s any difference between this week and last week with Jessie being on the block. She lies and says it’s been the same. No, it hasn’t. Jessie slept this week; last week he was a raving lunatic.
Keesha gets the next question, and it’s about her sad birthday. She babbles that it hasn’t been forgotten, and we move on to Libra’s forced TV smile. Her question is once again about her family, and how she turned down a letter from home. “My husband would have killed me. We both have said that after this project is finished, let’s go somewhere. Why not Hawaii?” Meanwhile, Michelle is making faces that should not be allowed on television.
After commercials, it’s time for another awkward HOH interview. She’s asked if she’s still allies with Keesha and Libra, and she lies and says they are. Oh, this is going to be fun even if Jessie isn’t eliminated. “I definitely trust them a lot less lately. I haven’t had their support like I had expected this week, considering I saved them.” She did? When? Oh, by winning HOH. Yeah, I’ll hand her this point. April goes on, and we all just want her to stop. She’s also asked about dealing with Memphis, but it’s just dumb babble as she thinks he doesn’t want to stay there.
Julie can’t help but ask about her relationship with Ollie. “All of America is wanting to know this”, April claims. Um, don’t give yourself that much credit. She babbles about how fortunate she is to have him, and that he’s her savior (that’s what they call it these days), and “it’s nice to be able to get away and talk more on a little more of a personal level and not on the game”.
We get the final statements, and Jessie begins by wishing his dad a happy birthday. He has little more to say, but surprisingly says nothing about respect. Memphis gets up and sort of repeats Angie’s statement last week about voting for themselves.
Michelle begins the voting, and you know she voted to evict Memphis, as does “Hey Mama” Ollie and Jerry. Libra is next, and her phony smile votes to evict Jessie…and we go to commercial.
After we return, Keesha votes to evict Jessie, as does Renny. Now here’s the moment of truth, as Dan comes in to find out what “America” wants him to do. Dan almost calls her Mrs. Chen again, but Julie stops him. Yes, America wants Jessie gone!
Oh My God! This is going to be good. Surprisingly, he’s calm, but does babble “it’s your word, your word” to Dan as he walks out the door. Michelle storms out of the room, and Memphis tries his hardest to fight off a smile. Somebody is clapping, but we don’t see who. This is actually sort of anticlimactic since nobody is saying anything.
Returning to the studio, Julie tells Jessie he looks like he’s in shock. No, that’s his everyday look. He denies that he was surprised, and places all the blame on Dan. For some reason, he babbles on about how Dan “doesn’t even go to church every Sunday, and he’s Catholic”. Um, ok.
Julie asks if he has anything that he regrets doing in the house. Well, how about when he started the big fight last Friday? He probably would still be in the house if that hadn’t happened. “I actually don’t have one thing that I regret. I called out everybody for face value.” Julie says that “several” houseguest have called him arrogant to his face, but Jessie corrects her and say only Keesha has done that. “My name and arrogant shouldn’t be in the same sentence.” Hahahaha!
Now this part should be good – Julie names a houseguest and Jessie has to respond with the first word that comes to his tiny tool head. Jerry is first, and Jessie has trouble coming up with anything before saying he’s “in really good shape”. For Renny, he says she “was a trip the first week”. He’s “very proud” of Michelle, but April is “very deviant”. Of course, Jessie is “THE MAN!”
For the goodbye messages, April says if he is seeing this message she is “shocked”. Jessie doesn’t appear to be paying attention, though. Michelle says if he’s watching this then “everybody in this house is a bunch of liars. I will definitely get those people, and take them down personally by myself.” Memphis tells him that it was a mistake for him to be sleeping all week and not interacting with others, while Libra babbles that he “was a pain in my you-know-what. I’m definitely glad to see you go. There’s no love lost.” Keesha tells him that she “hopes you get lots of sleep. I’m not going to say that I hate to see you go, because I don’t. So, bye.” That makes me laugh. Renny is also hilarious as usual, as she says “sayanorra”. Wow, they went longer with Jessie than any evicted person I’ve ever seen.
After Jessie’s segment is finally over, we get to see the surprise wake up calls they received all night last night from fans. Surprisingly, Libra is the first to figure out that it’s “America” doing these wakeup calls. None of them are pleased by this, and after a couple of minutes of this segment I’m also annoyed.
Finally, it’s time for the HOH, and once again it’s a question game. These true/false questions revolve around these calls. Everybody is correct in the first round, but Renny and Ollie are out with the next question. Everybody but Libra and Michelle now go out, which causes Keesha to roll her eyes. (I never thought I’d say this, but go Libra!) Holy shit, Michelle is the new HOH!!! Wow, Jerry starts screaming at Dan! It’s funny how one of the “outcasts” is now the favorites of a certain group of people. “That’s for you, Jessie! I’m going to get them.” This is going to be a miserable week.
We conclude with a return to the living room. Once again, Michelle screams “this is for Jessie! I deserve this! Game on!” Ugh. Memphis is asked a dumb question about how it feels to still be in the house. Yes, his answer is that it “feels good. When the majority of the house keeps you, you feel the love”. Jerry is asked if being in the house is more difficult than in the Armed Services, and he replies that “I love it here. Game on!”
Oh boy, as we leave the show Julie announces that one competitor from each previous season will be coming in to participate in one surprise competition. Oooh, Brian’s picture is shown in the montage. For the final shot, we get to watch some more of Manchelle whispering to Memphis. “Don’t be mad at me”, he tells her.
Good evening, my friends. Did you miss me? Tonight should be a pretty interesting show, especially since I didn’t see too much of the feeds the last couple of days. All I have to go by is what Ale, Ash, and IndyMike have posted here, along with some email updates from Christine. If there’s some weird editing, or out of context segments, please note them in the comments section.
After the recap, we begin as always with the reaction to the somewhat surprising nominations. I must say I am also loving the backlash against that twit April, and tonight’s birthday fight is going to be fun. So the car is really the reason she put up Memphis? Ugh. At least he has a sense of humor about being on the block, but since he also knows that Jessie is perceived to be the pawn he’s in trouble.
As always, Jessie makes the nomination all about him. “I think it’s an honor to be nominated three out of the four weeks. I’m not the target but I got nominated. We’ll see how that goes.”
Jessie’s manly buddy Michelle is not happy, though, and is pacing in the storage room. I don’t get how her Jersey accent is so much stronger in the diary room, but she babbles about how the pawn is “usually the one who goes home”. God, I hope that’s true. “What is this house trying to do to me?” As this is played, we see her pretending to choke herself for the benefit of not only the cameras but for us at home.
April tells us once again that Memphis is her target, but she realizes that her alliance wants Jessie to go because “he’s targeting them. I don’t care. I did promise Jessie that I’d keep him safe.” Jessie grabs April after she puts away the wheel of keys, and hugs her and tells her that it’s ok that he’s nominated. “Just trust me, please”, she says. Jessie responds that he can only trust her and Ollie, who then walks in and confirms that this is true. April claims that the rest of her pals “all have the same understanding”. Do they?
Ugh, it’s America’s Player time. Dan walks into the diary room to get his next mission. He has to hug a person “we” chose for at least ten seconds…and it’s Jessie. Poor guy. He decides to come up with some sob story about his girlfriend Monica. Ok, I do get a laugh when Dan mugs for the camera right before going into his dumb tale about wondering if his girl will be there when he gets out. Ok, Jessie does do a good job at cheering him up, and Dan admits that he felt bad about conning him. He gets his ten seconds, though. Once Jessie leaves, Dan has a good laugh with the camera.
April now comes out to tell everybody it’s time to choose players for the veto comp. April draws Michelle, which makes Jessie feel happy because “two people are now playing for Team Jessie”. Ugh. Jessie pulls out Libra’s name, while Memphis gets Jerry. Renny will be the host. Yay!
April says that in her mind the competition “lies solely in my hands. I can’t rely on Jerry or Libra. I’m still not sure what Libra and Jerry are capable of doing, and Libra always has an excuse for every competition she’s lost.” This may be the first time all year I agree with April, but I also want to be around when Libra sees that soundbite.
April is now in the HOH with Ollie, Dan, and Keesha, complaining about how she’s on edge because of Libra and Jerry being in the competition, when Libra rings the bell. Seconds later, Renny also rings the bell. Libra says that maybe this comp will be something that “Jerry is spectacular at”.
April is not amused. “Are you kidding me? If there’s a picking your nose competition, I’m sure he’ll do fantastic. It sucks. It sucks really, really bad.” This raises Libra’s ire a bit, and she complains that while she “may not be the strongest person, but mentally I think I’m all together”. April gives her a look, which makes Libra even more defensive. “I’m getting upset because I’m on this team, and I’m going to play my damndest. If somebody has any questions about where I’m standing, or how hard I’m going to play, then they need to ask me.” Libra then leaves because her “feelings are hurt”. Libra goes on about this for a bit, and I must say that this is once again a first for this season – I feel for the girl!
Keesha and Dan then leave the room, which gives April time to bitch to Ollie about how Libra is such a bitch. “She has excuses for everything.” Meanwhile, Libra is bitching to Keesha about April. Jerry and Jessie hear everything as they’re lying down next door. Well, Jessie hears it all. Who knows what Jerry ever hears? Keesha complains about how she feels like she has to “prove myself to April time after time again, and she still doubts me”. Dumb Jessie perks up as he hears them bitch about the person that’s supposed to save him. “That’s all I need to hear.”
Of course, he runs up to inform this week’s Queen Barbie, who immediately says “what did I do to her?” Oh, God. Jessie asks her if she complained to Keesha about talking to Memphis, which April and Ollie deny. Oh wait, April was confused. She did tell Keesha that she shouldn’t be hanging with Memphis.
Jessie is pretty proud of himself, but he doesn’t get at all how stupid he was for narcing off Libra and Keesha. If he hadn’t said anything, the hens would have probably made up, and he’d be safe. Now that they’re fighting, it certainly looks like he’s going home on Thursday.
Ollie is also not the brightest bulb, whispering to April (why he’s whispering in the HOH is anybody’s question) how everybody’s “true colors” are starting to show. “Well, I’ll confront her”, responds April. “Out comes the temper now.” Oooh, this is going to get good!
After commercials, April is preparing herself for the confrontation with Ollie’s encouragement. She storms into the girls’ bedroom, and Libra immediately tells her that she’s “really, really upset. My feelings are hurt. I don’t deserve to be doubted like that.” April claims that this wasn’t the “case at all. I didn’t yell at you, and I didn’t raise my voice at all.” As expected, Libra jumps on this point – “I didn’t say you yelled at me!”
April spills the beans on what each of them said, and it’s on! Libra wants to know “who do we need to talk to right now?” Hahaha, Libra doesn’t deny that she said anything; she’s pissed about the lie regarding the so-called yelling. April backtracks on that point, and Keesha leaves because it’s “fucked up”.
Keesha ends up in the kitchen, and asks Michelle if she’s the one who talked to April. Keesha’s main complaint is that April apparently said, “I’ll deal with you later”. Renny’s eyes perks up when Keesha calls April a “little bitch”. Nice!
Libra is still whining about how her feelings are hurt. Her and April go back and forth while Keesha continues to call her a little bitch. Renny and Michelle try to calm things down by reminding her that it’s her birthday, but Keesha is too fired up. “I can’t stand her fucking guts.”
Keesha returns to the bedroom, and now she’s the one who says her feelings are hurt. After all, she was the one “who stood up for you last week”. Michelle, Ollie, and Renny now join in on the conversation. Well, Michelle ends up standing outside the door so she can report to Jessie what she hears. The hens go back and forth for awhile, with none of them really making any sense…except for Keesha, who says “somebody is being fucking two-faced right now”. Snap, girl!
Finally, Keesha demands to know who told April, and we get a look at Jessie fixing his sideburns when April finally gives him up. Memphis, meanwhile, is mugging for the camera about crazy women as Dan reads his Bible.
Jerry then comes in to narc on the fact that Memphis is making fun of this fight. Oh Jerry, you silly old man. When Libra says she doesn’t care what he thinks, Jerry snaps at her, which doesn’t help the situation. Renny then snaps at Jerry, telling him that he shouldn’t “talk to people like that”. Jerry doesn’t comprehend, so Renny points out how he sticks fingers in people’s faces. I hope it’s not the same fingers he uses to pick his nose.
Renny leaves the room, and comments to Memphis and Dan that she “can’t stand it when he talks to a woman like that…he better not put his finger in my face. I’ll shove it down his throat.” She informs Memphis that Jerry is talking about him, so it’s time to add another person to the giant fight. Dan, meanwhile, continues to read his Bible.
Memphis comes into the bedroom just in time to hear Keesha say that it’s Jessie who needs to go. After she walks out, Ollie makes a lame attempt to bring peace by reminding them that there is birthday cake in the kitchen.
For some reason, Libra apologizes to April after everybody leaves the room. Meanwhile, Renny is trying to rally the troops to sing “Happy Birthday” to a sobbing Keesha. Jessie is finally done fixing his sideburns, and wanders into the adjoining bedroom, where he once again hears Libra’s whining. He bolts out of bed…and we go to commercial.
And we’re back just in time to hear Jessie ask Libra “say what?” Libra jumps up, and tells him it’s “fucked up” that he would use what he heard to “make shit happen”. “So you want to yell at me for laying down…” “I’m not playing your game”, interrupts Libra, as April begins holding her head. This has been too much for that little brain to take in such a short time.
The rest of the house is waiting to sing to Keesha as Libra and Jessie continue to fight. Yes, it’s a bit uncomfortable. Like every fight involving Libra, this goes back and forth for awhile with no real purpose.
Finally, Libra comes out into the kitchen to start Keesha’s best ever birthday party. Oh wait, April’s not in the room yet, so Libra goes back to get her…and of course gets sidetracked because Jessie is now explaining himself to April.
I wonder if they’ll have ice cream with their cake. Or maybe this would be a good time to give the house some liquor. Keesha just shakes her head in disgust as Dan leads the house in song. It is a pretty pathetic scene, especially with the awkward silence when the song is concluded.
Libra apologizes, I guess, but her apology starts the whole fight going once again. Jessie apologizes for “being honest”. Oh boy. Jerry sits in silence. Now it’s time for Michelle to jump in. “Do you guys even know how the fight started, or what it’s about?” The look on Keesha’s face is priceless. Michelle busts out some rap moves as she goes on about how it’s all “he said/she said/they said”, and you can imagine how pathetic she looks.
Oh no, you didn’t, Michelle! Keesha stands up and gives Michelle the full Tyra head and arm shake as she shouts how she knows exactly how the fight started. We get another recap of the argument, which causes Keesha to give Jessie the finger when he claims he told April exactly what was said. Jessie apologizes again for “being woke up”. Keesha doesn’t want to hear it, and Libra claps and tells Memphis that “everyday is a new day”. Keesha’s last words are that Jessie “needs to go”, and Jessie responds that “you can’t vote me out if I’m not on the block”. Um, Jessie, the veto comp hasn’t happened yet.
Of course, we now finally get to see the veto competition. Thanks for the nice segue, tool boy. This time around, the game is sort of a hockey competition. Libra says she’s feeling nervous because of all the fighting, and April claims she’s going to do everything she can to win. Jessie says that “me and Michelle are trying to fight the whole house. I’m going to win it fair and square and throw it in their faces. That will be sweet.” Um, if you had kept your mouth shut, you wouldn’t have to try so hard to win.
Basically, this game is similar to what we’ve seen in previous season. The person who has the worst shot is out of the game, but has the opportunity to win prizes, including the veto, that they can ultimately lose to those eliminated in later rounds. Michelle looks thoroughly confused, but jumps for joy when her feeble mind finally understands.
In the first round, it looks like Jessie may be out, but Memphis completely misses the net (and almost takes out Renny). His prize is the veto, but at least he’s smart enough to realize that he won’t be holding it for long.
Michelle is out in the second round after also missing the net, which pleases Libra. Of course, poor tool boy now feels like he’s “alone in the game’. Ugh. Michelle’s prize is a Hawaiian vacation, but she’s not nearly as smart as Memphis. She really thinks she’s going to Hawaii. Um, there are three other rounds to go. Somebody is bound to take away your prize.
The next round couldn’t have been better scripted. Libra is the last to go, and if she basically gets it in the net Jessie is eliminated. Suddenly Tool Boy is not so cocky. “I didn’t have a clue in the world what I was doing out there. You can kind of relate it to miniature golfing. I don’t golf because…I don’t know…my back’s too big maybe.” To borrow from April, oh my god. As you may have guessed, Libra eliminates Jessie, who wins a “slop surprise”. He trades with Memphis for the veto.
April loses in the next round, and her prize is a ten thousand dollar bar that she can later transfer as a bribe to anybody else. It is funny to me how the person who promised to do everything she can to win the veto decides to (momentarily, at least) let Jessie hang on to it. She says that she decided to keep the money because “I really did my part in the game this week”. Ugh.
Libra hits a perfect goal in the final round, which means she wins. Or does she? Jerry’s prize is a letter from home, which causes a gasp from the house. He makes some deal with April to split her prize three ways, and takes the veto away from Jessie, who whines that “you just let two other people take money out of your pocket”. I wonder if anybody in Jessie’s family can even write a letter.
Libra’s first place prize is…Jen and Sheila’s used red unitard. Jessie and Michelle immediately start cracking up. Don’t they get how this game works? Oh wait, now Michelle gets it, and is immediately concerned. Yes, you can guess what Libra does. Instead of planning a trip to Hawaii, Michelle has to wear the unitard for a week. Seriously, either way we as viewers are hurt by the thought of either of these two wearing this.
Jessie actually acts surprised when Libra announces her decision. Can he really be that stupid? Of course, April is also not happy. Hey silly blonde, Jerry already has the veto. You have no worries either way. Michelle couldn’t be more upset, and I actually laugh when Libra says “sorry, Michelle” in the diary room. Michelle still doesn’t understand how the game works. “How did everybody make out, and I got the shaft”, she screams in the diary room. “Ten thousand dollars, and this is what I get?” I love it!
Ok, there’s one more twist in this game. Memphis “slop surprise” is that he gets a slop pass to use when he desires, but right now he has to pick a person who would be automatically put on slop that week. With no hesitation, he picks Jerry, knowing there’s “no way in hell” he’ll use the veto on him. Jerry babbles on about being willing to “pay the price to win some power”. Um, Jerry, you really don’t have any power.
Before we go into the last commercial break, Jessie babbles about how this is “his life”, and he’s so “willing to stand up for the little people”. What does that even mean? Michelle is storming around the house, proclaiming that she’s “done with this house”. Jessie talks her out of it, promising that “we can get her (Libra) out next week”. Michelle’s still not completely happy, and rants in the diary room about how Libra is going to lose her kids because “she’s a horse-slut skank”. Again, what does that even mean? Finally, Michelle walks out of the shower wearing the unitard, and continues to talk about how she’s always screwed. Jessie tries to cheer her up by lying that her “ass looks amazing”, but she doesn’t care. The acoustic guitar music comes up as Jessie once again attempts to cheer her up.
I have one little complaint about this contest. When they’ve done this type of contest in previous seasons, the loser of the round would choose their prize. This year, the prizes were predetermined. They obviously did not know which players would end up with each prize, but setting it up that the two best prizes initially went to the worst competitors, and the unitard went to the winner, completely created new drama that they clearly didn’t need to add.
Finally, it’s veto meeting time. April assumes that Jerry isn’t going to use the veto, but claims (or was coached to say) that “I’m still unsure”. Jessie gets to talk first, and babbles that he “knows why he’s there…and he respects whether you take him off or me”. Memphis just says he wouldn’t expect him to take him off, and goes on a bit longer for no reason. Obviously, Jerry doesn’t use the veto. April finally cracks a smile, but Michelle doesn’t.
Jessie still thinks he’s got the votes to survive, and says that “it’s a sweet cookie to eat”. Who makes less sense – him or Manchelle? April says that she wants Memphis out because he hasn’t made a deal with her, and she’s not here to help the members of her alliance that want Jessie out. Oh, you ignorant twit.
Well, that was fun. Basically, 75% of this show was taken from an hour of footage from this past weekend. Oh, please vote for Dan to vote out Jessie.