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Saturday
Sep142013

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Last week, it was announced that David Goldberg, the head of the North American branch of Endemol, will be stepping down later this year. Endemol is the production company that owns Big Brother, and word is that he’s not the only person affiliated with the show that will not be a part of next season.

Yes, it seems that the wishes of a lot of hardcore fans may be coming true, as there are tons of rumors that Big Brother executive producer Allison Grodner and casting director Robyn Kass will also be let go. Finally!

The real question, however, if these rumors are true is how much will the show actually change? The gut reaction from most hardcore seem to believe that the entire format will be gutted, but I doubt that this will be the case. Certain aspects will be tweaked, and it’s probably safe to say that Grodner’s favorite pets (Jesse, Jeff/Jordan, the Reilly family) will finally be taken off the Rolodex, but there’s no way that the show will suddenly ape the formats of other countries.

What I’d like to see is a format that isn’t so reliant on competitions. In fact, let’s just get rid of most of them altogether. Completely scrap the have/have-not silliness. Let the entire house vote on nominations, and make that the prime focus of Sunday’s episode. Keep the veto competition, and allow the winner to not only save a nominee but also put up a replacement for Wednesday’s show. As much as I don’t trust the American public to vote, I can see giving them the power to decide who they want to save for the Thursday eviction episode.

Let’s also revamp the diary room. Currently, it’s only used for narration purposes, and their semi-scripted, catchphrase-dependent commentary is getting more embarrassing every year. Is there really any purpose to hear the usual “xxxx just can’t win the most important HOH of the year” silliness?

I want the diary room to be more honest about what’s going on, and more timely. If two people have a disagreement, show them going to the diary room to talk to “Big Brother”. The public can handle chats that are longer than a couple of sentences to describe their thoughts about what just happened.

My ideas for casting is pretty easy. This may be a bit shocking to most critics of this season, but they were on the correct path this year. Either have an entirely new cast, or nothing but returnees. No mixing! No stunt casting of a relative, especially if tied to a public vote that gives them an unfair advantage. If “All-Stars” is the plan for next year, do so in an interesting matter. Why not something like people who never made jury? Or favorites versus villains?

As for twists, I have to say again that outside of the stunt casting they did a pretty good job this year. The MVP twist could have been great if Elissa didn’t have that advantage the first two weeks, and the lack of Pandora/DPOV added some legitimacy to what happened in the later parts of the series. You can’t have these types of gimmicks just to save a Grodner/fanbase favorite. Just because a favorite player was evicted, or there is unhappiness with the final three, is not a valid reason for a twist that questions the credibility of the show.

These are just a few of my thoughts about next season. What about you? Do you want some changes for next year? Share some ideas!

Saturday
Sep072013

Big Brother Gossip #312: Goodbye Bitch!

It was a big week in the house. Thursday's double eviction caused the two most controversial players of the season to leave, and created all kinds of online controversy. We chatted about that situation, along with questionable comments from GinaMarie, Spencer's HOH victory, McCrae's veto win, and so much more. Give it a listen from the usual online sources such as iTunes or Stitcher, or...

DIRECTLY STREAM/DOWNLOAD BY CLICKING HERE!!!

Special thanks to Mike and Colette for their contributions tonight, and also Ash for her great work with the audio. Next Saturday is our season finale, so please check it out!!!

 

Saturday
Aug312013

Big Brother Gossip Show #311: Blame Amanda

It's been a crazy week in the Big Brother house, and we cover everything that happened. We talk about Elissa spoiling Survivor, Julie Chen bum-rushing Aaryn, and the blindside nominations of Amanda and McCrae. We also talk about the online nonsense of idiots that can't handle opinions that don't mirror their own. We also award a couple of t-shirts to iTunes commenters, and Mike surprises Colette with a big surprise!

Grab this episode from the usual sources, including iTunes and Stitcher. Or...

DIRECTLY STREAM/DOWNLOAD BY CLICKING HERE!!!

Special thanks to Mike and Colette for their work on the show, and Ash for her great audio work!

Thursday
Aug292013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 28 Recap

This is it. It’s a night a good percentage of the Big Brother community is waiting for. A cute (former) model is about to walk out the door, not knowing that she’s been face of Aryan culture for the past two months.

Unfortunately for the blood thirsty, it’s unlikely she’ll actually get her true comeuppance tonight. She is headed to the jury house, after all, so Julie Chen can’t mention anything that’s happening in the “real world”. Will bad behavior be discussed? Certainly, but not at the level that would have happened a few weeks ago before the ousted headed to jury. You’re just going to have to wait for the finale to see how CBS handles her...and others.

Before we get to that moment, though, we have a replacement nominee to discuss. Amanda, the veto winner, took down her man, and Elissa put up Andy as his replacement. Elissa explains that she really wanted Amanda out this week, but she had to put up Andy because she knows he’s been working with her. Aaryn adds that this makes it the end of the “3 A.M.” alliance, and she has a bad feeling that she will be the one going home “because Andy has deals with almost everyone here”. Andy admits that he’s “freaking out”, and he really needs Amanda and McCrae’s votes. He adds that it is also the “beginning of a new plan that I have for myself that does not involve Amanda and McCrae”.

Elissa is now shown in the kitchen, and you can hear a New Year’s Eve party buzzer thing (what are they called?). “I’m back”, yells Amanda. “Hey Elissa. How are you, angel?” Elissa ignores her as Amanda continues to hover over her. “I’m very threatening and scary.” She asks her why she doesn’t look like any of her pictures. “How many doctors did it take to make your face look like that?” Elissa giggles and walks away. “I’m not about to be manipulated by a girl like her”, she says in the diary room. Amanda continues to talk as Elissa heads into the HOH.

Amanda is now seen in bed, asking the other boys why everybody is being nice to her. “I’m the only one standing up to this bitch, and everybody else is hiding in my shadow being, nice and kissing her dumbassed, cologenic injected face.” Spencer tells her to chill out, and Amanda continues to yell about her. “I want to punch her in her fucking face.” Andy complains in the diary room that she’s acting “appalling”. He says he’s not going to talk game with anybody, and Amanda says her next target is anybody seen chatting to her.

Time for a bitch session. GinaMarie is flapping her gums about Amanda to Judd, Spencer, and Andy, but I can never understand what she’s saying. Spencer calls her “repulsive”, and wants things to change. They just can’t have the two of them at the end, so Andy says they should just “cut ties” and go for their individual games. Judd says they should call themselves “The Exterminators”, and of course GinaMare loves that!

Aaryn is now talking to Amanda, who says she did everything she could to get GinaMarie up instead of Andy. She explains that Andy was with them long before Aaryn, so that’s where their loyalty lies. In the diary room, she explains that she also trusts Andy more than Aaryn because she chose Judd in that last veto comp. If she only knew what Andy was plotting. Aaryn whines a bit about how much work she’s done for nothing. “I did (the work) for people who won’t even keep me safe.” Amanda then starts crying, and then crawls into her bed to cry. “You still have two more days. You never know what’s going to happen.” The only way Aaryn can stay is to get the votes of Spencer, GinaMarie, and Judd. “This is going to be hard.” Impossible, actually.

She attempts to work it anyway, and first goes to GinaMarie, who promises her a vote. In the diary room, GinaMarie says she has to make fake alliances with both nominees. Aaryn then tries to work on Judd and Spencer, who says he has “concerns about your loyalties”. He adds that her past HOH’s furthered other’s needs, but she counters that she only did that to survive. Spencer and Judd both say they have to think about it, so Aaryn says she needs to start throwing some people under the bus.

Aaryn then tries to work on Amanda and McCrae again, pointing out that she’s done so much more work than he has. She points out that they have the two biggest targets on their backs, and that everybody is going after them. When she mentions Spencer’s name, Amanda gets a bit upset. She calls him over to the couch, and asks him if that’s true. “She’s full of shit”, he replies. Aaryn tries to refute him, but it goes nowhere. “Nobody trusts anything you say”, he tells Aaryn, before wandering back over to the hammock to report to Andy. Aaryn continues to fight for her side, and Amanda asks if she’d take them to the final three. So now we get that footage that makes the upcoming eviction vote appear to not be a slam dunk.

Ugh, a Dan segment is next??? NOOOOOOOO! I’m not recapping anything what that asshole has to say.

And now we have more bullshit with Brendon, Rachel, Jeff, Jordan, Dom and Danielle???? Nope, not watching that idiocy either.

After that silliness, Julie talks to the house. She welcomes Judd back to the game, and asks him how things have changed since his return. He babbles about how it’s the same people, but a couple are gone, so “they really did me a favor while I was gone”. Ok then. Amanda is then congratulated for her first victory, and is asked about “verbally taunting Elissa”. She replies that “Elissa really pushed my buttons”, but she has since apologized. “Now the house guests knwo not to push my buttons.” That’s not going to get a good response in the online world. Elissa is asked to respond, and she complains that Amanda took it past “game-related things”. That’s about all I understood from her lengthy non-answer.

Julie then wastes some more time talking about how twitter is so obsessed with the dirtiness of the bedroom. A picture is shown, and Spencer is asked why it’s so dirty. It’s a dumb question, so I’m not going to bother to state his reply. Oh wait, this is funny. “Thank you for asking me a question, by the way. It’s only been about ten weeks.”

It’s now crunch time. Aaryn gets the first final speech, and she tells everybody at home how much she misses them. She babble some more, and says she respects their decision. Andy then quotes Abraham Lincoln, but his joke falls flat. Even his Anderson Cooper quip stinks.

Voting then begins with Judd, who votes to evict his “little Texas tornado”. Spencer also votes against Aaryn, as does a crying GinaMarie, Amanda, and McCrae. Aaryn is out by a unanimous vote!

We have to endure more commercials for the much-anticipated meeting between Julie and Aaryn. It’s a peaceful departure, as she hugs everybody (including lengthy ones with Elissa and GinaMarie), and actually gets some cheers as she comes out. Oh yeah, and a few catcalls.

Wow, we don’t get the usual stupid footage of the house staring at the picture wall. Julie announces they have a lot to talk about, and she is then asked about the unanimous vote. Aaryn says that she believes Amanda and McCrae kept Andy over her because of her competition success. But why not GinaMarie, and Aaryn explains that the unanimous votes are so that they don’t become targets. Ugh.

Julie then brings up Elissa and their rocky relationship. Aaryn says that at first they were friendly, but the lie about not being Rachel’s sister brought on some animosity.

Ok, here we go. “In the early days of this game, you said some pretty harsh things about your fellow housemates.” Julie adds that Amanda even attempted to let her know that some of the things she said were being interpreted as racist. It’s not a good answer. Aaryn complains that since she’s southern, things have been taken out of context. “I do not mean to ever come off as racist. That’s not me, and I apologize to anyone that I’ve offended for that.” (Note, you can hear people in the audience laughing at that dumb response.)

Julie then reminds her that everybody going into the house knows that they’re on the internet, and proceeds to read some of the things she stated. Oh yeah, this isn’t going to end well. As the audience laughs, she says she doesn’t remember saying any of those things.”That was not meant to be serious, and I feel horrible for that. I regret that.” Julie follows that up by asking if the experience has taught her anything. Clearly flustered, Aaryn just spits out a few words about how her and Andy, Candice, and Helen are “great friends”.

The segment ends with the usual goodbye messages. Judd says that he thinks that she is “awesome”, but that “I feel that you are playing for Amanda and McCrae to win this”. Amanda says that this is the toughest eviction for her, and she loves her like a sister. Elissa then says she has “nothing to say to you except have fun in the jury house. Or don’t.” Interesting, as just a few minutes ago Elissa acted like she was her best friend. GinaMarie ends it by saying that she loves her. “You’ll always be my BB bunny.”

Julie asks for her final thoughts, and it’s clear the past few minutes are the only thing she is thinking about. She says she feels awful, and that in Texas they joke about things without really meaning it. “I really feel bad that this is how it’s being seen, and how I’ve come across to people.” Julie then tells her that after she’s home and watches the footage, “you’ll have a whole new perspective on things”.

It’s now time for the next HOH competition, and they’re wearing bunny ears. It’s called “Big Hopportunity”, and they have to maneuver balls through a maze. The first to collect a dozen “eggs” in their basket is the new HOH. Their feet are tied together, so they have to hop around the playing field. After they begin, Julie announces that the last place finisher will have to wear a chicken suit for 48 hours.

Before we end, Julie announces that on Sunday there will be a “surprise competition”, and that next Thursday will be another double eviction. That should be fun!

Well, that’s it. We leave the show without a new HOH. Who do you think will win? Who do you want to win? What did you think of the interview with Aaryn? Or the return of certain people I will never mention again? Let us know!

 

Wednesday
Aug282013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 27 Recap

First off, my apologies for the lack of a recap from Sunday night. I was way behind on a newspaper article that was due that day, so I elected to just watch the show rather than report it.

It was a pretty predictable show anyway, with most of what happened highlighted on this site over the weekend and on The Big Brother Gossip Show. Almost half of the show was the baseball-themed endurance competition. Other than that, there was Elissa’s HOH room reveal, Amanda attempting to keep McCrae off the block, and Elissa’s nominations of McCrae and Aaryn.

One strange segment, however, was the footage of Aaryn accidentally swallowing nail polish. There really was no need for that segment, especially as it happened a couple of days before the time period represented by the show. In fact, they had to utilise some digital trickery to make it look timely, as Helen was sitting on the floor just a foot or so away from Aaryn.


Oh well. Tonight’s episode may be a bit loud. Like really loud. There will be some anger, some tomfoolery, and a visit from an old Big Brother friend. Plus, a plot to keep somebody off the block that ultimately doesn’t work but sure created a buzz online.

Let’s begin with the reaction to Elissa’s nominations of McCrae and Aaryn. Elissa says that since the three of them (including Amanda) were behind the eviction of Helen, they are her targets for the week. “I’m ready to get revenge.” Aaryn is bawling because she thinks she’s “done everybody’s dirty work”, and now she has nobody to protect her. McCrae doesn’t seem as upset. It’s only his first time being nominated, so he says it’s “really scary”, but he seems pretty calm in his diary room session. Amanda isn’t as calm, though. “I have to figure something out to keep them safe, and myself.”

For some reason, we get some commentary from GinaMarie, who says she has to be on Elissa’s “good side this week”, despite the fact that her best friend (Aaryn) is on the block. We then see her kissing Elissa’s ass, telling her she had a “very nice speech”. Elissa asks if what she said to Aaryn was mean, and GinaMarie says “no. I thought it was fine.” Amanda and McCrae overheard this, and Amanda says “something’s not right here”. In fact, she wants to “punch her in the face”. McCrae tells her that they need to just be positive.

Aaryn is now talking to GinaMarie, wondering why she’s not up next to her. Aaryn believes that by not having GinaMarie up, this gives another opportunity for her to be saved with the veto. Aaryn says not to trust Elissa. “I feel like when I’m talking to her, I’m looking into Hell”, she says. Maybe there’s something up with Amanda and McCrae, and GinaMarie agrees, but tells her to keep cool with them.

Amanda is now in the kitchen with Elissa, who starts to say something but stops. Amanda wants to know what she was about to say, and finally Elissa asks if they’re going to “retaliate” next week for putting up McCrae. Amanda says no, and then asks who would go up if McCrae wins veto. Elissa says probably GinaMarie. “I don’t know.” Amanda adds that people are starting to think she’s working with GinaMarie, especially since she’s been kissing her ass.

Amanda then asks if Elissa would put her up if Aaryn wins veto, and Elissa starts gigglins as she says “no”. Amanda doesn’t believe it, saying in the diary room that she’s a “terrible liar”. Elissa leaves the room, and Amanda then tells Aaryn that she thinks Elissa is lying.

We then have a few awkward seconds of silence in the diary room before Elissa says “I was just thinking how awesome it would be for Amanda to go home”. She saw an “evil side” last week in how she treated Helen, and she thinks she can get Judd on board for this if Aaryn wins veto. “Now I feel that I just totally want Amanda gone. It’s so weird. I’m not meaning to be bipolar.”

Elissa then heads into the bathroom to tell Judd, and he loves the idea. “But don’t tell anyone”, she adds. Judd is really excited. “It’s time to get my hands dirty.” He walks into the bedroom to get Aaryn. “Elissa wants to talk to you upstairs.”

Although she says she’s freaked out by this, she does go up to the HOH room. “I feel like we seriously need to work together”, says the woman who just a few days ago spent the entire day disparaging her. She was so focused on Helen, but says she is now seeing the real picture. “Nobody would think we would work together at this point.” She says that Amanda needs to go, and they both need to fight for the veto. Aaryn is also supposed to pick Judd if she gets Houseguest Choice in the veto pick.

After commercials it’s time to pick the players. They all act overly excited as they race to the living room, and Elissa pulls out Amanda’s chip. Wow, she couldn’t hide her disappointment in that move! “I feel sick”, she says in the diary room. McCrae gets GinaMarie, and Aaryn pulls the no longer needed HouseGuest Choice. She still picks Judd, which angers Amanda. “Why would you not pick Andy?”

Amanda asks Aaryn about this as they walk away, and is not happy with her silly response that Andy or Spencer would never take her down. After Amanda and McCrae get into the shower, Aaryn says they can’t be mad at her for working to further her own game. “It’s stupid”, replies Amanda. “You think Judd’s going to use it on you. It doesn’t make any sense...that was not an alliance move.”

Aaryn walks away as GInaMarie starts bitching about Amanda. “Fuck her. Don’t let that bitch get into our head.” They both head out to talk to Elissa, who says that all she does is “use you to make her decisions”. Elissa promises that Aaryn is not going home this week.

GinaMarie and Elissa continue this conversation in the kitchen, where for some reason GinaMarie says Amanda “is the female version of Jeremy”. Amanda walks in on them, and they all quit talking. Amanda walks back into the cockpit room and reports that the two of them are definitely working together.

Amanda again walks into the kitchen, and the other two stop talking game once again. She again comes into the kitchen, and calls them out. Elissa just starts laughing, and Amanda gets into it with GinaMarie. McCrae comes in and grabs Amanda as GinaMarie starts babbling in some other language. Oh wait, I did hear “bring it on, bitch”.

McCrae stops her again from going out into the kitchen, and says that she needs to “do some damage control with Elissa”. Amanda heads upstairs, and airs everything about what GinaMarie has been saying about her the entire season. When Amanda brings up being the replacement nominee, Elissa again (badly) lies...and then starts laughing. “I really can’t wait to see the tables turned and see everybody against her”, she says in the diary room. Amanda starts bawling, saying she has always been on her side, but Elissa doesn’t give her much empathy in return. Ok, no empathy.

Now it’s veto time, and it’s the return of the Zingbot. We see it enter the house, and wake everybody up. Elissa says the Zingbot is “one of my favorite parts of Big Brother”.

The zingers start with McCrae, and how Amanda wears the pants in the family. He says it didn’t bother him, except for GinaMarie laughing like it’s the greatest thing ever. Speaking of GinaMarie, the joke against her is about Nick and the movie Fatal Attraction. Andy’s joke is about being a floater, and he’s not happy. He then goes to Aaryn about being a mean girl, and says she wasn’t acting. What? Amanda’s joke is about her tramp stamp, which she then shows in the diary room. “It’s a mistake.” Elissa’s line is about how she’s a “cheap imitation of your sister”.

It’s finally contest time, and it’s “Happy Zing Day”. The baby Zingbot is now one year old, and it comes out into the backyard. For the game, they have to roll a ball across a platform, and then run around and catch it. If a ball hits the ground, they go back to zero. The first to 250 “power units” wins veto.

Early on, Amanda and Judd are kicking ass, but McCrae is having a hard time. It’s so hot, though, that Judd is having trouble breathing. He then drops the ball, and is back to zero. “I literally thought I was going to die.” It’s now basically between Amanda and GinaMarie, espeically when Elissa drops her ball. It’s neck and neck, and finally Amanda hits the magic number to win the veto! She can now save McCrae, and can’t go up in his place. Guess who is happy, and who is not? Oh yeah, and Andy is now a little worried.

When we return from commercials, Amanda is still proud that she finally won something. “And it was hard, and it was physical.” Andy walks in the room, and they wonder if Elissa is now going to put him up, or will it be GinaMarie. Andy thinks it will be him.

Upstairs, Judd and Elissa are complaining that Amanda winning is “the worst case scenario”. Elissa starts crying that she is now going to go home next week. “I hate her. She’s like the grossest person in the world.” After mentioning that Andy may need to go up, Aaryn comes in to ask if it will be GinaMarie. Elissa says she doesn’t know, but “wants to make a huge impact in the McCranda game”.

She now heads downstairs and talks to Amanda how it was such a fun competition. For some reason, Elissa says they all helped Amanda win it. Uh oh. They go back and forth for a bit before Elissa leaves the room in giggles once again.

Amanda decides to get a little revenge. “She wants to push my buttons? Well, she just pushed the wrong one.” Amanda heads into the kitchen and is non-stop bitching, complaining how she wasted her HOH. There’s some talk about Rachel and the Brenchel Army. “What does the Zingbot and Elissa have in common? They’re both made of plastic. Zing.”

We jump ahead to Andy and Amanda talking. Or should I say Andy and Granny? Andy says he’s ready to accept his fate, but Amanda says he’s not going anywhere. They need to figure out a way to get GinaMarie on the block so that both Aaryn and him survive.

She heads back into the kitchen and starts screaming for Elissa once again. “Come on down, Princess.” Ugh, I can’t keep up with the insults. I know the anti-Amanda people point to this scene as proof of how vile she is, but the idea is for Amanda to drive Elissa nuts, and have Andy then go up to “save the day” and say how offended he is by her actions.

Andy then heads upstairs to try to seal the deal. He asks her if she’s ok, and apologizes for everything that’s been happening. “It’s been hard to be in the same room as her today.” He says that he’s ashamed to have been aligned with her, “but know that you have at least one friend”.

Did this scheme work? We’ll now find out, as Amanda is shown staring at the picture wall. She calls everybody in, and obviously uses the veto on McCrae. Oh wait, first she says that “I think you would know better than anyone that no one comes between me and my man.” No response from Elissa on that line, though.

Elissa then stands, and puts up...Andy. But first, she says to Amanda, “clever line. Rachel probably is very disappointed and insulted that somebody like you would use it.”

“Sit down, trash”, Amanda says as she gets up to adjourn the meeting. Elissa says that she won’t respond to “Amanda’s bad behavior”, and at least somebody that is aligned with Amanda is going home. Amanda acknowledges that “3 A.M” is done, “but at least we’ll have 2 A.M.” Andy says that while he needs Amanda and McCrae this week to survive, he’s done with them otherwise as he’s not playing for third place. Wow! Aaryn finishes the show by promising she’ll do whatever to remain in the house.

That’s it for tonight. What did you think? Please post any of your thoughts on tonight’s show!

 

Tuesday
Aug272013

No More B.S.!

I've been thinking about writing this post for a few days now, but have not wanted to fan the flames.

I can't hold back any longer, though.

As I've stated many times on this blog and our podcast, I've enjoyed this season more than any of the last handful. This was mainly because there weren't any returning players to temper and handicap the play of the new contestants. With the exception of one stunt casting, and a twist designed to protect her, everybody started the season on an even keel.

Yes, there have been a ton of questionable comments and actions. Yes, some people have acted inappropriately. Yes, people have made disastrous moves. That's what happens when you have a cast of reality show virgins! You get drama! Isn't that what has been missing in previous years? People should be rejoicing!

They're not. In fact, I've never seen a season where the fanbase has taken the show so seriously. I'm not just talking about the cat ladies who want rules tweaked, bent and broken to ensure their favorite makes it untouched to the end. I'm not talking about the usual double standards for behavior, or the demand that the rest of the house do nothing but what furthers their hero.

It's getting much scarier than that, and it needs to stop.

There are sites out there created by people that clearly have too much time on their hands. These sites include private information of not only those in the house but their families and friends. When one brain surgeon tweeted a family phone number earlier this week, they were inundated with harrassing phone calls for the rest of the day.

Seriously, you cretins, get a fucking life.

You can love and hate anybody you want. You can think this person is trash, or that person is a beautiful angel. That's part of the fun of the show.

When they're out of the house, you can then throw whatever verbal jabs you want. I've admittedly had my fun with certain people over the years. No matter their sins, though, the families don't deserve this. Their parents shouldn't have to take down their business websites or disconnect their phones. You are NOT their judge and jury. 

You, not those in the house, are ruining this season. If the show doesn't return next summer, I hope you all look at yourselves in the mirror. It won't be because of the ratings or the various live feed controversies. It will because you busy bodies are giving the producers and lawyers such a headache it won't be worth the risk of putting on the air. Will you be happy then? Either that or it will be a house full of Helen's organizing knitting parties. We definitely don't need that!

Thursday
Aug222013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 25 Recap

It’s been hyped and hyped all week long. Big Brother alum have even been prodded to live tweet the event like it’s the Super Bowl. It’s a “first”, y’all, so aren’t you excited?

Meh. Just because it’s never happened before doesn’t make it a groundbreaking event. Plus, those idiots up north did the exact same thing earlier this year.

What am I talking about? The super-duper special competition that will allow jury members (plus tonight’s evictee) compete to return to the game. Excuse me while I yawn. Sorry, but I’m a purist. Once you’re gone, you’re gone. There’s no do-overs. Why should a week of work in the house be wasted (or in the case of Judd, a few minutes of work). It seems to me that the only people that love this twist are those with emotional attachments to one of the individuals who could come back, or whose hatred of somebody remaining is borderline scary. In other words, the vast majority of this year’s fans.

Let’s get it over with. After Julie hyping the history-making event, we have to go through a lengthy recap before the reactions to Spencer replacing Elissa on the block. Spencer says he’s not really surprised, and “isn’t really sweating it”. Funny, as he looks like he is CONSTANTLY sweating. Aaryn doesn’t make much sense in her diary room comment. She wanted to put up Amanda, but ultimately has to “appease” her. Wait, what?

Aaryn heads upstairs as Elissa and Helen hug. Helen says that she’s now “starting to regret not taking Jessie seriously about getting Amanda out of the game sooner, but it’s clear by Aaryn’s speech that she’s being bullied by Amanda”. Sensing an opportunity, the two of them head upstairs. In tears, Helen demands that Elissa start working with Aaryn and GinaMarie. Oh boy. Elissa says that “100% we have to work together”. Hmmm, interesting since she spent a full day bitching about Aaryn just two days ago.

Andy then pops in, and it gets awkward. Helen says that he is the swing vote, and Andy snaps that she has him 100%. “If I don’t stay, it’s going to be because of your vote”. She is hoping that her emotional state will get into his heart. “America is rooting for us right now (ugh).” He just can’t let the bullies win! This pisses off Andy, as Helen has done as much bad things as anybody else. Out of the blue, Aaryn then complains that this conversation will end up hurting her.

Andy then wanders downstairs and tells Amanda all about the good/bad people speech. “Don’t say that I told you that”, he adds (as usual).

As a person who works in politics, Helen says she “reads people all the time”, so she has to work on more than just Andy. She pulls McCrae into the cockpit room, and goes into an anti-Amanda rant. “Stick up to her. Be the man that McCrae is.” It goes on and on, and all we get from him are a lot of “yeah”. Ugh, she again brings up “America”. Make it stop! McCrae’s not happy about it either.

Oh wait, there is Amanda! She walks in, and McCrae follows her back out. Of course, he reports to her everything that Helen said. Amanda grabs her drink and wanders back in, pissed off at Helen. She reports to Spencer and Andy what was just said. “Do you think I’m a bully?” Although Spencer did actually say yes to the answer on the feeds, we skip to McCrae talking about how Amanda pushes him around. Oh wait, Spencer does finally say what we heard.

It’s now dark out, and Elissa and Helen try to work on GinaMarie by the hot tub. It’s the same speech, but a little bit angrier, and GinaMarie says that she’d like to keep Helen.

Andy is now seen walking into the HOH to talk to Helen and Elissa. When confronted about his vote, Andy claims that he’s “wavering”. Aaryn walks in as Andy explains his reasoning. “Do I lose one now, or a couple if I keep you here.” Elissa talks about loyalty, and how Amanda and McCrae only have loyalty to each other. Helen says that he has no targets right now, but will if he votes out Helen. When they threaten to get him nominated, Andy says in the diary room that he begins to worry. Then Helen pulls out the “America” crap once again.

It’s interesting how this was edited together. It’s from a couple of different days, and lots of stuff is missing. Like the edit on Elissa, and how she confronted Andy in that last conversation. It didn’t actually make him have second thoughts. Her threats reinforced his resolve. Lots more can be said, and I’m sure we will on Saturday’s Big Brother Gossip Show.

It’s already to go to the living room, and Julie talks about how they’ve all been “left in the dark”. They’re then shown footage from the last Have-Not competition, and Julie asks Amanda abotu what went through her mind entering the black box. She says that she was scared that Elissa was leading her through it. GinaMarie is then asked about the hardest part of that challenge, and she babbles about looking for Nick’s hat at four in the morning. “It was crazy bananas.”

The next question is about Elissa’s veto cmopetition, and they get to watch some footage from it, including Elissa knocking Andy into the wood. Andy says that he was terrified by “the ambition in Elissa’s eyes”.

Live voting is now already set to begin. Spencer gets to go first with his speech, and he says hello to all of his friends, and how he likes everybody. “Helen, you’re an amazing competitor.”

Helen then gets up, and my typing fingers already have cramps. She also says hi to her family and friends. She begins to tear up while talking about her family. She says that she’d love the votes from the house guests, and no matter the vote count they’ve all given her special memories. “I love you all. This has been the best of times, and never the worst of times.”

Voting begins with McCrae, who votes to evict Helen, as does Amanda. Elissa, though, votes to evict Spencer. Andy is next, and in tears he votes to evict Helen, as does GinaMarie. It’s a 4-1 vote, kids!

Julie reads the news to the house, and calmly hugs everybody. Her and Elissa have some words during their embrace, and the tears come. She blows kisses, and is then out the door.

We don’t cling to the picture wall as long as normal, as we go to Julie and Helen. She’s asked why the alliance with McCrae and Andy didn’t work, and she thinks it goes back to Andy’s nominations last week. “I knew in his heart he loves me, and he needed to make a big move.” Wow, it’s impossible to keep up. Keep trying to steal Julie’s job, Helen!

She also believes that Judd was more dangerous than Amanda, and that somebody else could eventually take her out. “What was so scary about Judd”, asks Julie with a chuckle. It was all the conspiracy theories, replies Helen. She then asks about the tears and whether they were real. Helen admits that she can turn them on at will, and even today she thought she could save herself when talking to GinaMarie.

It’s now goodbye message time, and Andy explains how he was troubled by the “good versus bad” comments. “You’ve been good to me, but you’ve been bad to other people you were supposed to be aligned with.” McCrae talks about the chess board, and how she kept wanting to go after his queen. Amanda then talks about how she knew weeks ago that she was coming after her. Elissa slowly talks about how she hopes that Helen is not watching it, as it means she’s been evicted. She promises to “fight for both of us”.

Julie concludes the segment by asking what she would have done different if given the chance. “I would not have taken Howard out of the game”, and would have evicted Amanda when she was the MVP nominee. She’s still pontificating!

Julie then informs her that she may get to go back in the house. “You and the rest of the members of the jury will be competing live tonight to get back into the game.” Oh God, she starts dancing around in her seat at this news. Helen still won’t shut up, as she wants to know if she can get some food first.

After commercials, we get some jury house footage. They indeed get to co-mingle while inside there, which I don’t agree should be done. Candice walks in first, and then Judd comes in and informs her that he had a “good old fashioned backdooring”. They’re sitting around playing cards when Jessie walks in the house. She sits down and tells them how Helen had done her wrong...and also how she did Judd wrong the previous week. She even tells them how she went out “guns blazing”. Judd is hoping there’s “some way I can get back in that house”.

They are now shown walking into the kitchen, where there’s a message giving them the news that they get to compete to return. All three want to get either Helen or Amanda out of the house! “Amanda really is the devil”, says Judd. Candice also wants to get out GinaMarie.

We go back to Julie, and the four are on the stage. Helen is jumping up and down as she always is, of course. She tells them that they’re going head to head in a live competition, and will go in as if they’ve never been evicted.
Julie again lies that the house has no clue, and the TV comes on in the house to bring everybody into the living room. She reminds them about what she said two weeks about not “being out of the game”. She tells them that the four members of the jury are going to compete to come back in.

The doorbell then rings, and the four come in! There’s lots of screaming, and Candice even hugs Aaryn! Wow, Candice also hugs GinaMarie, and tells her happy birthday. Helen is seen sprinting into a back room as the hugs continue. Amanda looks a bit concerned, though.

Julie has everybody head to the backyard, and we go to the backyard for a combined HOH/juror competition. FIrst, we have to endure commercials, but when we come back they’re standing on small ledges that look like they’re in a baseball dugout. Balls are going to be thrown at each of them, and the first to catch ten without falling wins HOH. So, if a evictee is the first to catch ten, they’re not only returning but they’ll be the HOH. No clue what happens if one of the others is the first with ten.

We hear a crack of a baseball bat, and then they all come down. Jessie actually catches one! Before the second balls comes, though, the “sprinklers” come on. Too bad we don’t get to see another ball hit as it’s taking forever between “hits”!

There’s one more mini-segment before the show is over, but it doesn’t look like anybody else has a ball. Wow, what if Jessie does return? Balls are then hit, and a number of players (including Jessie) catch them. One more set of balls comes a bit harder as we head into the credits, but it is still surprising how long they’re taking between rounds.

Well, that’s it! What did you think? Who is going to win this comp? Let us know what you think!

 

Thursday
Aug222013

Tonight's the Night!

Ok, who is going home? Will it be Ms Prancersize? Or the butterscotch lover? Will "America" care either way?

More importantly, who is coming back? Tonight's evicted person? The angry clown? J-U-DoubleD? Or will it be butterscotch booty? Let's get a consensus here!

Wednesday
Aug212013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 24 Recap

I almost forgot there was a show tonight. The feeds have been full of silliness today, and I just spent three hours watching the entire house have a meltdown. Too bad only a couple of minutes of this footage will actually make tomorrow night’s show.

I looked at the clock just in time, so here we go. There will be lots of pontificating tonight. Maybe even a cheerleader dance, and a slightly unexpected veto win in a competition hosted by a “lovesick beaver”. Sound like fun? Well, let’s go then!

Before we get to that, though, we have to sit through some pontificating from Elissa and Helen, the current nominees. Aaryn says that her speech was “very strategic”, designed to make it look like she was protecting herself and GinaMarie instead of the unknown 3 A.M. alliance. Helen says that you should never feel safe, but she actually does because of her (phony) final three deal with Andy and McCrae. Eliissa, meanwhile, feels “really sad” to be up on the block with her “closest ally”.

Elissa is then seen moaning “I’m sorry” to Helen, and then stating the most obvious thing a nominee can say. “We have to win the veto. I mean seriously” No shit, Sherlock! Somehow Helen thinks that nominating the two of them is a hope they’d turn against each other. No, not really, but she is right in saying that she needs to temper Elissa’s behavior the next few days. “No more fighting with Aaryn. We’ve got to be calm.” The idea, although they don’t really have the power to complete it without Aaryn, is to win veto and put up Spencer. “Just one of us has to win the veto.”

Andy walks into the room, and Helen grabs him for a chat in the cockpit. He says he “feels very out of the loop”, and Helen then says that she was a bit angry with Elissa for what happened (and was not really shown on Sunday) the day before. She also lies and says that Elissa said it was her fault for Helen being nominated. Andy fake cries, and says that he can’t handle losing either of them. She reiterates that they have to make Spencer the target.

Meanwhile, Amanda is grinding all over McCrae before they’re interrupted by Elissa. She plops herself down on the other bed, and Amanda tells her they were just making out. Elissa asks McCrae for his thoughts, and he says they need to win the veto. Elissa then complains that she thinks that Helen is blaming her for being nominated. Wait, what? Amanda sees an opening, and says that Helen is now going to start campaigning for herself. “Just play hard”, she says. Elissa almost accurately reads the script that says that part of her thinks Amanda is “just manipulating me”, but another part sort of believes her. (Too bad a lot of good stuff wasn’t shown here.)

Now Spencer comes into the cockpit room, and Andy tells him what Helen just said. Andy says he needs to fight for the veto, but Andy can’t. Spencer hopes that there will be a situation where Andy can throw it to him.

Oh boy, it’s already time to pick the players! Arryn pulls her chip first, and it is GinaMarie. Helen then pulls Spencer, her worst nightmare. Elissa’s chip is house guest choice, and she picks Andy, who didn’t want to play. “Dammit!”

Helen and Andy talk again, and she asks if the plan is to send her home. Andy feigns ignorance, saying that nobody is telling him. He says that she has him and McCrae, for sure. She also thinks that he would use the veto on her if he was to win it. “I’m so blatantly lying to her face.”

Beating a dead horse, Amanda and Arryn are talking about how Helen can’t win. Andy joins them, and Amanda tells him that he can’t throw it until it’s definite that she won’t win. This doesn’t please Amanda. “I feel like right now in the game, I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t”, he says in the diary room.

After commercials, it is indeed VETO time. They look up and see a giant beaver. Yes, it’s OTEV time, although Helen mispronounces it. So each round has a “love letter” written to an evictee, and then they all have to find the letter in the mud. The last one to return is eliminated.

We sit through a few “have to win it” diary rooms before the first round. It’s about a rant about wine, and the game is on. Jeremy is obviously the correct answer here, and Helen is the first up with it. Elissa claims that while looking for his letter, she scanned where the others are. Elissa is the second up, followed by Arryn, Andy, and Spencer. Yes, GinaMarie is out...and not happy. “All I wanted was to hear a Nick riddle.”

Round two is about Judd’s bear shirt, and this time Spencer is the first to return. Almost all of them are returning at the same time, but Elissa jumps in just ahead of Helen. I mean, she sprinted as Helen was halfway up as Elissa was still in the water. Helen is out, and Amanda giggles.

The next round is about a clown, so it’s Candice. Again, Spencer is easily the first back up, followed by Aaryn. Helen is getting mad as Andy isn’t moving real fast, but they both race back at the same time. Elissa knocks Andy to the side, and he bumps his head on the log. “Elissa Enzo’d me!” Yep, Andy is out this time.

The fourth “love letter” is about a body “chiseled from stone”. Elissa says it has to be Howard, so she’s the first back up this time, followed by Spencer. Arryn is now out!

We’re now down to Spencer versus Elissa. Normally, this would be no contest, but Spencer has been kicking ass so far. Can he continue? The question is about giving away money, so Elissa says it has to be Jessie. Spencer is concerned as he’s never seen her name in the mud, and he grabs his around the same time as Elissa. Unfortunately for him, she makes it up in plenty of time to win the veto! “I guess I’m good in the mud!” Helen is as excited as Elissa (ok, more), and Amanda can’t figure out why as she’s the actual target.

It’s commercial time, and afterwards Elissa and Helen have a “crazy dance”. Well, Helen does. Elissa doesn’t really do much but high five. It’s also time for Helen to give one of her patented motivational speeches. “Your head is in this game.” Now they have to get Arryn to put up Spencer.

Andy joins them, and Helen thanks him for “trying to win it for us”. Actually, she admits in the diary room that she was disappointed in him. “I saw how he was playing in that comp. He wasn’t hustling at all!” Uh oh, maybe Andy isn’t fighting for her at all!

We’re now in the kitchen, and Elissa asks Amanda what’s going to happen. Amanda says it looks like Spencer is going up but Helen is going home. Amanda says in the diary room that she’s telling her this so that Elissa will become closer to her. She adds that there is nothing that they can do to stop this, and that the more she does to try to save her will hurt her in the long run. Elissa is not happy with this, but “I definitely don’t want Amanda gunning for me, as the whole house will be against me again”.

Helen is then seen talking to Elissa in the bathroom. After Elissa complains about how dirty it is, Helen tells her that she’s going to go talk to Arryn about what’s going to happen. Elissa warns her about something that is impossible. “We have to make sure they’re not going to back door you.” Look, you can’t back door an original nominee! Helen asks if she thinks Amanda is trying to get rid of her, and Elissa gives a weird little answer. Yep, Helen now knows it’s true, but Elissa doesn’t want to be involved. “Please don’t bring me into anything with Amanda.” Helen knows that Elissa’s weirdness is sending her a signal, and that Amanda has clearly threatened her.

She then barges into the HOH room, and immediately goes on the offensive about how her “life is on the line”. Ugh, one of those cliches I hate. We hear this spiel about how her, Elissa, Aarryn, and GinaMarie have finally came together “to get rid of everybody in the house”. It’s because of Amanda and McCrae that her and Elissa were on the block, and this starts to pull on Aaryn’s heartstrings. Oh wait, I’m not supposed to believe that Aaryn has a heart! Aaryn, though, lets slip that she thinks Andy is on their side, too. Cue the music! Aaryn continues on about how everything she has said has gone to Amanda. “The game changing move for this game may be getting Amanda out of this house”, proclaims Helen as we go to commercials.

Ugh, we’re now back to talking about the time that Jeremy stole the bottle of wine. Why are they showing this idiocy? Oh, I see why, as the retell starts a big fight between Aaryn and Amanda. I still don’t give a shit. McCrae’s not happy about this, especially as this is shortly before Aaryn has to put up a replacement nominee. “Who does she thinks she is?” says Aaryn as she wanders up to the HOH.

Andy follows her up, and reminds her that they have a “solid position” in the house. He says they’ve “never once given one doubt” about them. Amanda comes into the room, and they again rehash “winegate”. This time, Amanda storms out, and Aaryn starts crying about how she’s always done what Amanda wanted with no respect back from her. Andy continues to tell her that this is the correct road to go down. Well, we got the footage needed to make it look like we don’t know who will be the new nominee.

Guess what? It’s time for the veto ceremony! Let’s skip the bullshit voice overs. We know that Elissa is going to use it, and Spencer is indeed put up in her place “because this is the corner that I’m being pushed into”. Elissa gives us a bit of a changeup, though, as she says that she wishes she could use it to save Helen instead.

Spencer is worried, Helen is disappointed, and Aaryn has no guts. “Amanda is scary. People are scared to piss Amanda off because she has a way of getting the house on her side and doing whatever she wants to do.” Amanda is obviously happy with Aaryn, and that’s it for tonight!

What did you think of the episode? Did you enjoy the OTEV? Should Helen go home tomorrow? Tell us in the comments!

 

Wednesday
Aug212013

A Day In The Life Of: Helen

First off, my apologies for not having one of these diary posts in recent weeks. The problem was that those set to be evicted (Candice, Jessie) had already been chronicled. Yes, I missed Judd, but it was impossible to predict who was going to go home on double eviction night (although I have a good chance at getting a second opportunity if he wins the return match on Thursday).

Judging by the last couple of days, this is going to be a tough assignment. Helen is naturally a motormouth, and being on the block has put her in overdrive. She’s been nonstop in pushing people to change their votes to save her, and I have a feeling that’s not going to change in this 24 hour (or so) period.

Today begins, thankfully, without her normal indoor prancersizing. In fact, we don’t even see her until a minute or so before the house is awakened by 10:30 a.m. Her and Elissa are the only ones to arise, though, and Helen immediately heads out back for her workout.

When she returns, Elissa is cleaning and making coffee. Elissa says that she’s exhausted, but Helen had the best night of sleep to date. Helen then changes into her bikini, and heads back outside to do a load of laundry. Then she returns for a little hair and makeup.

Returning to the kitchen, they continue to comment about the prior night’s sleep before grabbing some coffee to take outside. “It’s exhausting being nominated, right?” asks Elissa. Yes, we’re off for the first marathon chat of the day. Helen starts right in on how they need to bring Aaryn into their fold. They obviously can’t work with Amanda, although she says “I love Amanda as a game player. She’s phenomenal.” They also don’t have Andy anymore. “He’s like my son, and he’s strayed. It’s like he’s been brainwashed.” She adds that at least she’s going out due to Amanda’s work, instead of somebody like Spencer.

Surprisingly, she has grown a fondness for GinaMarie, despite her craziness, and they both now have to rely on the two of them. Elissa is having none of this, though. “We could never depend on people like GinaMarie or Aaryn”. Especially that “horrible person”, Aaryn. “They are not solid individuals. You could not depend on people like that.” Helen counters that she thinks she can win over Aaryn because she’s concerned how “America” is looking at her. Elissa doesn’t agree. “Every night, she says she doesn’t give a ‘f’”, and recounts the horrible things she said in the past.

Helen says that Aaryn has been “trying to rebuild her reputation”, but Elissa again doesn’t agree. “(You’re going to teach her) how to be fake on camera so people in America will view her differently than she really is”. Helen is starting to get a bit frustrated that Elissa is countering every thing she’s saying. “Nothing is ever going to change my opinion on what she is. She’s not a solid person.” I’m starting to think Elissa is a bit jealous of Aaryn.

There’s no stopping Helen, though. She again brings up that mythical player, America, and that being around “good” people will change her. Elissa won’t let her finish a sentence as she continues to say that it would be fake. Hanging out with her and Elissa will make her a good person, says Helen. No, that would only work with GinaMarie, counters Elissa. “If GinaMarie hung around us, she would probably be successful. If GinaMarie hangs around with someone like Aaryn, she’s going to be below Aaryn. Aaryn only cares about Aaryn.” She adds that Aaryn is the kind of girl that would steal your husband and stab you in the back. “You can’t teach a scorpion not to sting.” Seriously, these are the most words I’ve heard Elissa say all season.

Helen dials it down a bit, and says that she needs GinaMarie’s vote, and Aaryn is the key to that vote. She moves on to talking about herself, and how in real life she is exactly like she is in the house. “I think people are scared of being evicted more than I am.” No, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. They talk a bit more about Amanda, who Elissa thinks is a “good investment”. Helen doesn’t disagree, and says she wouldn’t have a problem giving her a vote. “The next best person could be Spencer. If he makes it to the end, that means he’s going to be winning now.” Sure, Helen.

Suddenly, we go to fish, and when we return Helen is fiddling around in the kitchen. Her and Elissa begin scraping a pot that they had let simmer with milk for too long. They set up another pot of milk, and go change clothes. Suddenly, out of the blue Helen asks “I wonder what the Brachel Army is going to think of me”. That’s not a typo. She said Brachel Army. Elissa says they’ll “probably love you”. She asks the “Brachel Army” to pray for her.

After pouring some more coffee, they head back outside. Helen still won’t stop talking about the “Brachel Army”, which is now a “strategy in the house”. Um, ok. Elissa finally corrects her. Helen now asks her what she’s going to do if she leaves. “I don’t know”, replies Elissa. “I’m going to die with these people...I don’t have anything in common with them.” Helen tells her that she needs to fight. Now they believe that Spencer winning would be a horrific thing, but Helen switches back to defending him. Elissa says that telling Amanda and McCrae that she’ll vote for Spencer in the finals could save her. Good luck with that.

There’s a little bit more analysis of Spencer and McCrae before they go back in to work on their slop. Back outside, they go right back to talking about others in the house, namely Amanda. Oh yeah, and how Andy is such a disappointment. Oh, and according to Elissa, “Aaryn is dumb”. It then turns into a pep talk, as Elissa will have nobody to talk to if Helen leaves. “I’ve never had anything in common with anybody but you and Andy. And Candice. And Judd and Jessie. Mmmmm hmmmm!” Then they go back to bashing those still in the house, and bragging how they’re so much better than the rest. This day is already getting a bit repetitive.

Suddenly, out of the blue Helen starts bawling as she talks about how this house has made her feel beautiful. It’s now a lovefest about each other before Elissa finally heads back into the house. Finally, some peace and quiet!

Elissa comes back out in just minutes, and starts in again on Aaryn. Then suddenly, Helen says she wants to start a business with Elissa. “I want to be my own boss, and I want to do it with you.” Hey, I have a few ideas! Elissa says she’s going to use the show to further about a dozen ideas. “I know I’m building a wellness center. I know I want to work with ministry. I know I’m dedicating my life to charity. That’s what I want to do because it makes me feel happy. And I want to do side businesses. I want to do my yoga. I’m going to do it all.” Fair enough. No snark on that statement. Helen wants to market a line of workout clothes, and they’ll be successful because they’re such an “inspiration” to America. Where’s the barf bag?

They move on to Rachel, and Helen proves her ignorance of the show by asking if Rachel got along with everybody. Elissa says that she was “taking estrogen like crazy to spiral out of control”, and Helen attempts to hide her ignorance by (incorrectly) talking about one of her favorite Rachel moments.

We meander back to Helen’s favorite topic - Helen. She criticizes Amanda’s bandaid boob incident. “What she has to lose isn’t the same as what I have to lose. It’s too totally different world. Maybe that doesn’t make me as exciting as a reality TV star, but I’m more reality. My life is more reality.” She wants to be become the chair of her kid’s PTA, which you can’t do with those kinds of pictures. Really? She does admit to taking herself way too seriously, but the house has allowed her to let loose. “The fun that I’ve had here is about as fun as Helen gets. I’m a stick in the mud. Being goofy is not part of my personality.” Yep, we know. She adds that GinaMarie inspires her to be funny.

After three hours, the conversation FINALLY ends. Or is it, as Helen continues to ask Elissa questions about her family life as they lower the shades. Helen finally goes inside as Elissa begins to run laps.

She then makes a little bit of small talk with Andy as she washes a few dishes. She slips into some sandals, and heads right back outside to check her laundry. Elissa finishes running, and moves over to talk some more to Helen about their backgrounds. Oh yeah, and how “disgusting” Aaryn was to Candice.

The rest of the house is finally awake, but really aren’t interacting with her. They’re not ignoring her, although Spencer and Andy made a couple of jokes when they saw Helen and Elissa chatting outside. They’re just doing their usual lounging, while Helen is doing her usual chores.

Finally, Helen pulls Amanda into the cockpit room. She begins by saying that she’s not giving up, but if she did end up in the jury she wouldn’t be “bitter”. Helen gives her the patented pep talk, telling Amanda that she’s played a “phenomenal game. I know when I’ve met my match.” Amanda responds by saying that she was angry yesterday because some of her tactics were “personal”. Grab some popcorn, kids. This is going to get good! Helen does acknowledge that this is “fair”, and that she is “very sorry for a lot of things”. Of course, she really does love Amanda, and “knows I met my match”. She again apologizes, and says that she is “one of the smartest people I’ve ever met”.

It is now Amanda’s turn to tear up as she talks about how much she loves McCrae, and that he is his own man. “I feel like some of the things you said to him really hurt me.” Helen claims that she felt bad after the conversation with McCrae, and has “mad respect” for them as a couple. “I want you and McCrae in my life.” Ok, this isn’t as entertaining as I thought it would be, especially as Helen repeats over and over how much she is sorry and loves them.

Amanda also brings up Elissa and some comment about she made about McCrae “using” Amanda. Funny thing is that Elissa is outside the door listening in. Helen says that she doesn’t really know what that was about, and that Elissa is going to do what is best for her own game. At one point, Amanda says that Elissa needs her, and she needs Elissa.

Seriously, this is going on way too long. Both are just repeating themselves, and Amanda doesn’t help by throwing out the “bully” word. (In case you haven’t read my other material, it’s my feeling that the introduction of that word on reality shows is the worst thing in the world.) They finally hug, and they both wander outside.

Helen lays out by the pool, as most of the rest of the house lounges around the outdoor couch. She’s quiet for a bit before she’s joined by Elissa for a retell of the Amanda conversation. Elissa is becoming a bit distraught. “I can’t even handle it.” Helen tells her that she needs to stay strong, and that leads into another anti-Aaryn rant. “I feel like she’s one of the worst people I’ve ever met in my life. One of the most conniving, fake. She’s like 800 different people in one person.” It’s really getting to be over the top. “She has nothing to offer. Ever. Even in real life.”

Yet it doesn’t end. Elissa carries on and on and on, even saying that Aaryn is “jealous” of her. Helen reminds her that for her to stay she has to work with, and Elissa agrees that it is good for her, too, if Helen is friendly with her. “You need to get to the end of this game. America wants you to get to the end of this game. Brenchel Army wants you to get to the end of this game.” Please, Helen, stop speaking for me.

It doesn’t matter, as Elissa isn’t listening. She’s still convinced that Aaryn is jealous of her, so Helen continues to tell her that there will be a time when she’ll need Aaryn for something to further her game. “I don’t want anything to do with her.” Somehow, she believes that Aaryn is constantly comparing herself to Elissa, which is like “me comparing myself to like, freaking Poppy Montgomery, or Oprah”. Wait, what does that even mean?

Helen then begins begging “America” for food (wtf?), and they head back inside to cook themselves some slop. Guess who is also in the kitchen? That’s right. There’s Elissa’s best friend, Aaryn! GinaMarie is also in there, so at least Helen is quiet for a bit as she babbles her usual nonsense.

Thankfully for this hungry boy, the camera goes off Helen as she continues to cook, so I also get a break to cook dinner. She is briefly shown again as she makes mindless small talk with GinaMarie and Spencer as she eats, but the cams were mainly focused on Amanda’s conversation with Elissa. Guess who Elissa wants to talk about the most? Yes, Aaryn, but she’s also a bit angry that Helen was talking for her earlier.

An hour or so later, Helen grabs McCrae and has almost word for word the exact same conversation that she had with Amanda. She loves him, and her, “too death”, and they’ve done “amazing work” together. She came on too strong in last night’s conversation. “It’s a game.” Blah blah blah. The only difference is that she says “people” want her and Amanda to “not like each other”. What people? Besides the viewers?

Andy joins them, and she claims that she’s not going to go out like Jessie did last week. “If I go out on Thursday, I want to go out in peace.” She even says that she’s going to tell Judd that the two of them are kicking butt on his behalf. She adds that she’ll be “pissed if somebody from the Knockouts doesn’t win”, and compares her part of them to what Enzo and Lane did in the Brigade. “I go out with class, not Kamikaze style.” Oh please.

Hmmmm, one piece of weirdness, though. Despite her earlier compliments, Spencer is sort of becoming her version of what Aaryn is to Elissa. She’s so pissed that he is going to end up lasting longer than her, and doesn’t want to see him at the end. Candice is also brought up again, but this time it’s not quite the lovefest that it was this afternoon with Elissa.

The boys finally walk away, and Elissa (who had wandered in a few minutes earlier) asks Helen why she won’t go make a deal with Amanda. Helen replies that she doesn’t think that Amanda would be open to it, and then asks Elissa about her talk with Amanda. Elissa replies that Amanda apologized for being mad at her yesterday, but “I didn’t even notice, because I don’t even care if she’s angry.” Wow, Elissa is on a roll today, especially as she then (of all people) complain about everybody being “Debbie Downers”.

Elissa heads over to the hammock, so Helen goes back inside. She comes back out with some food, and joins Elissa, saying that she is going to give that same concession talk to everybody and hope that Spencer and Amanda end up fighting. “How do we make that happen?” Elissa thinks that she’s more desperate for Helen to say than she was for herself, and Helen replies that “it’s not over yet”. They decide that saying that Spencer may have a better chance of winning than the rest of them may work. “He’s played the worst game in history”, Elissa giggles, “but we need to keep saying it.” Sorry, but I don’t see that actually working. The other plan is to keep working on Amanda, which will get not only her vote but McCrae and Andy’s.

Amanda then comes out, and Helen tells her that she talked to McCrae. Elissa calls her over, but she has a cigarette to smoke first. Amanda finally comes over, and reports that Aaryn is now mad at her for the lengthy conversation she had with Elissa. A perfect opportunity for Elissa then to say that Spencer will get ALL of the jury votes. “He’s going to win this game. You mark my words.” The feeds go to fish for a bit, and when we return Helen is yelling about all of the fighting. “I don’t want to go out like a bomb. I want to go out with class. If I go out.”

Knowing everybody is still talking about her, Amanda heads back inside. Will Elissa’s plan actually work? Maybe, but in the meantime Helen is back to planning on working on GinaMarie and Aaryn. Ugh, bad topic, as we get the 100th retell of Elissa’s hatred for Aaryn. “They’re not entertaining.” We’re really back to 11:30 this morning.

There is some talk about Helen’s prediction that a guy will win this season. I’ve never understood why it matter which gender wins, but Helen’s biggest nightmare is for McCrae, Spencer, and Andy to start an alliance. Well, if Aaryn continues to piss off Amanda, there is a shot for that to kind of happen.

They move on to jewelry talk, which is kind of a relief, but not too interesting. The feeds get cut quite often as they mention their favorite jewelry stores, and some friends from back home. They keep going back to their favorite topics, though. Aaryn is this, and Spencer is that. It’s becoming maddening!

Eventually, Elissa heads inside, leaving Helen on her own in the hammock. Not for long, though, and when she comes back out they go back to talking about their clothing line. It’s now called “Hellisa”, although Elissa doesn’t like that name. Elissa brags about her yoga website, and how her “life is so busy”. Helen has quit her job to be on the show, though, so she will have a lot of time to devote to their company. Something tells me that this will never happen, though.

The cameras again go off Helen for a bit after she heads inside to hit the bathroom, and I must admit I’m ready for that break.

The peace and quiet doesn’t last long, though, as Elissa comes back. At least they’re not talking about Aaryn anymore...yet. Instead, it’s a debate of sorts about reading actual books versus the kindle or ipad. “I can’t wait to be intellectual”, says Elissa, which means I’m oh so close to writing something snarky in response. She lists all the things she wants to do after the season is over, but Helen is quick to get her back in line for their business. Elissa just wants to have a “real” conversation. Sure she does.

Andy makes a mistake in wandering outside, and he’s invited to join them. They start off with the calorie counts of their slop meals, and Helen repeats how she’s “melting away” at least five times. They move on to when they have to do diary room sessions, and how Helen and Elissa are always the first up in the morning. It’s actually remarkable that Helen can chat nonstop like this. She has been at it now for eight hours, and has barely taken a breath. Sure, 90% of it is pure gibberish or repeated testimony, but she says more words in an hour than I say in a week.

As if on cue, Elissa heads inside so that Helen can segue into the same speech she already gave Helen and McCrae. Andy raises the shades, and gets back on the hammock with Helen. They have some meaningless chatter about clothes and past houseguests. Andy also asks if Elissa’s husband is the father of her Precious Little Treasure. He’s not, but Helen says she is.

They also talk about how much they loved being HOH, and how everybody should experience it. This moves into a discussion about Elissa, and how she wants her to be HOH because she’s been feeling so depressed about the potential of Helen leaving. They’re also both worried about how they’ve been portrayed so far...which leads to the cameras moving to other people.

They’re not gone long, though, and they’re continuing to really talk about nothing. Andy does ask her what season she liked the best, and Helen has to quickly come up with an answer (she’s not the superfan she has let others believe). She instead throws out names such as Jeff, Janelle, Britney, etc. They have a bit of a fight over Mike Boogie. She likes him; Andy didn’t. “I love hte fact that Mike Boogie knows who I am.” Ugh. She’s also super-paranoid to be thought of as boring. It’s a topic that has come up a few times today.

They finally break up the chat so that Helen can take a shower. Helen’s plan is to also go up to HOH. “I haven’t been up there for like fifty hours.” Instead of immediately heading upstairs, she hangs out in the kitchen with Elissa for a bit, still going on and on about wasting away on slop. “If I make it, all I’m going to do is eat on Thursday night.”

When their slop is finished, she heads upstairs. Aaryn, though, heads downstairs, so she’s now talking to Spencer, Andy, McCrae, and Amanda. In case you’re not aware, it sucks to be on slop, while also cleaning her toes. Nice, right? She wishes she was a real smoker, as you can live for five days on just coffee and cigarettes. Yeah, that’s a nice diet.

Amanda then leaves the room, and talk moves on to Tina Fey. Helen says that she wants to sign up for classes at Second City. Andy suggest instead that she sign up at IO Chicago Theater. They all laugh at all the typos in the various handbooks and rule books they have in the house. Andy then decides to hide “Clowney”, and ultimately puts him in the HOH fridge. The conversation was so boring and forced they moved to putting all four cams on Aaryn and Elissa being in the kitchen at the same time (which wasn’t much more exciting).

When the cams go back, they’re talking about Heavy Metal Teddy (aka season 13’s Adam), who Helen (remember, she’s not the Big Brother expert) doesn’t know. Others are saying that Spencer looks like him, which he’s not happy to hear. As they’re talking about Saved By the Bell (scintillating, right?) Aaryn and GinaMarie return to the room. They’re cooking chicken and mashed potatoes, so Spencer calls them “wife material”.

Back to meaningless chatter. A discussion of movies turns into Helen learning about Stephen Baldwin’s appearance on Celebrity Big Brother in the UK. They explain how it works, but she doesn’t think it sounds as good as the U.S. version. Actually, I think she’d love being on the UK version. Imagine how excited she would be for the daily tasks!

There’s a bit more movie talk before Helen wanders back downstairs to chomp on some snacks as Arryn and GinaMarie work on dinner. Hey, she’s actually gone a couple of minutes without chatting! The boys come downstairs for the meal, as the other two cameras show Elissa doing yoga in the backyard. Helen pipes in that before she came in the house she never had enough faith in herself to follow a recipe. Now she can make anything.

She eventually heads back outside where Elissa is doing yoga. She folds towels (in an odd way), as they both talk about their favorite subjects. Elissa bitches about Aaryn; Helen complains about Spencer and the fact her prodigal child Andy went to the “other side”. They wonder what Candice would do if her vote was between Aaryn and Amanda. “She’d probably cry”, says Elissa. Helen also is still upset that Judd didn’t hug them on her way out. “What am I? Chopped liver?” Well, you did orchestrate that exit.

This chat goes around and around and around. Helen says she has 36 hours to come up with something to save herself, but nothing is really sticking so far. They move on to talking about how they’ll vote in jury. Helen says it has to be about game play, and after a bit more bitching about Aaryn, Elissa agrees to do the same. It’s just not fair, though, especially if Aaryn makes it. She’s just been nicer in recent weeks because of jury votes. She won’t.

A half hour or so later, everybody has sort of scattered around. Elissa is strangely talking to Spencer in the living room, while Helen is sitting by the hot tub boring first Aaryn and then GinaMarie with long stories. The magic seems to work a bit more on GinaMarie, which is no shocker. Helen knows exactly how to play her, and she completely it “had” the moment that Helen starts in with a compliment. “America is going to be blown over”, Helen says about her. “I cannot wait to watch you.” Yeah, right.

I’m not going to lie. I began skipping around when GinaMarie started in on Nick. She is, after all, going to marry him next year. “You bring out kind of a light side in him”, says Helen, who also wants to know who is telling her that he didn’t like her. “I think Judd said that to me”, GinaMarie replies. “Even if he doesn’t like you”, Helen says in response, “then he’s highly flattered.” Um, no, and I really need to find another cam as GinaMarie talks about what she expects from their “first time”.

Elissa joins them, and we again hear about how much it sucks to be on slop. Helen moves on to tell her that she apologized to both Amanda and McCrae, and that she loves them both and will vote based only on gameplay. Elissa then asks how she’s going to vote, and GinaMarie says that she wants Helen to stay, but has to do what the HOH wants. Elissa says it’s “pathetic” that all of the girls just go after each other. Pot, meet kettle. In Elissa’s mind, Helen’s role is to be the person that is in between the various girls to keep them on the same page, and it is Amanda that is pulling them all apart.

They begin talking about votes, and Helen laments that she has lost Andy’s vote. Elissa thinks that her and GinaMarie should go and threaten Andy with a nomination if he doesn’t vote to keep Helen. It just goes on and on, and most of the bashing is against Amanda and her influence on Aaryn. “Aaryn needs to see that everybody is protecting Amanda. If I stay, bing bing bing I protect Aaryn.”

When this chat finally ends, the two plot their next move. Now Elissa’s idea is to actually kiss up with Aaryn, but “everybody” is now upstairs with her. They go back outside and climb back into the hammock. It’s again about how dangerous Spencer is, and how it’s a shame that he’s going to last longer than her. Helen tells Elissa that if she gets an opportunity, she has to take out Amanda before Spencer. “For sure!” They go through a few more scenarios, along with thoughts on America’s Favorite Player. The main plan is to put up Aaryn and Amanda, with Andy as a replacement nominee. Oh man, I’m really starting to drag on this project. Please go to bed, Helen.

Amanda comes out to kiss their ass for a few minutes, and is in the kitchen when they head back in, and there’s some pleasant chitchat with her for a few minutes. Once Amanda heads upstairs, it’s time to complain about slop once again. They also look around at the various pieces of art on the walls, looking for things that could be asked in a competition.  

Eventually, they join the rest of the house in the HOH. It’s the usual gossip surrounding former player, and whether Nick was gay. Yes, that means a lot of screaming from GinaMarie. The room goes quiet, though, when Elissa complains that this season has no hot guys. There’s also a discussion on Big Brother Canada, and how Gary lost on a mistaken vote.

Around an hour or so is spent up there talking about next to nothing before Helen heads back down to floss and brush. Her day is finally completed as she goes into the Have-Not room and turns off the lights.

That's also it for my day, and it has been a long one. Helen is a nice woman, and I don't really have anything against her. She's exhausting, though! Especially when coupled with Elissa! I hope you enjoyed this manifesto. Please let me know what you think of it!