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Sunday
Jul072013

Big Brother Season 15, Episode 5 Recap

When we left CBS on Wednesday night, the Big Brother 15 cast were in the middle of a HOH competition that had everybody paired off. Cups of barbecue sauce were to be transferred from one person to another, and the first person to pull out the little golf ball was the winner.

Obviously, those of us who have the feeds know the results of this contest, but we’re still missing some details. Was it a clean victory? Was there cheating, and were the offenders punished? Most importantly, who was going to end up feeling they were in danger?

We begin with Julie’s instructions to the house, and we get to actually hear them this time! In fact, we get the rules twice as they have Nick repeat them. Wait, we get a third version of them. There’s lots of slips and falls, complete with quirky background music.

It’s then time for the players to say why they have to win, and for some godawful reason we begin with Elissa’s Hollywood stoner drawl. “I need to win this more than birds need their feather.” Really? That’s the best your family’s script writers can come up with?

Aaryn then whines about how she needs to win to avenge David, and we go back to that shocking moment when he left the house. GinaMarie, Jessie, and Aaryn freak out when the news is read. Aaryn has a few fake tears as she says how terrible she felt.

We can’t go more than a few seconds without Elissa, so we get to hear her thank America again and complain about how she’s had a “target on my back”. Spencer is also happy. Aaryn is then seen kissing David, and saying she did not vote to evict him.

Once he’s gone, GinaMarie is freaking out, and Nick comforts her. She has some babbling in the diary room about “plans falling to pizzas”, but who knows what she was talking about.

We then return to the competition, and Jeremy and Aaryn are currently in the lead. There’s no real reason to keep recapping everything these freak shows say as they continue to play.

Judd does grab the ball from the small jar, so they now get a bigger scoop. Howard does the same, but they’re still way behind Jeremy and Aaryn. In fact, Elissa and Andy are right behind them. Andy attempts to pull out the ball, but...we go to commericals.

It is super close, and Elissa claims they “feel victory in their fingertips”. Andy just can’t quite reach it, though, and Jeremy eventually pulls it out for the victory. Yes, they’re both happy, and they “did it for David”. It is, though, Elissa’s “worst nightmare come true”. She’s getting better at reading her lines.

Jeremy and Aaryn then have to decide which of them is the actual HOH, and Spencer is hoping he makes the right move for the Moving Company. He doesn’t. He lets Aaryn have the glory, and we get frowns from the rest of the team. Hey, as he even says, “I get to play next week”.

Aaryn then has to pick the Have-Nots for the week, and she asks who voted to evict David. This gets a bit tense, and for some reason Nick acts all cocky about it in the diary room. She eventually puts up Elissa, Helen, Candice, and David, which causes Elissa to complain. “How can you do that to Helen? That’s not a nice thing to do to anyone two weeks in a row. Aaryn is definitely not a nice girl.”

It’s now all tense in the bathroom as they attempt to figure out who evicted David. Aaryn says the “HOH is dedicated to what was done wrong to David”. She doesn’t think she can trust anybody. She claims it would have been different if they had come to her and told her. Spencer jumps on the defensive and says he didn’t vote against David, and tries to toss the blame at Candice. She is adamant about it. We get a replay on how Spencer played Candice before the votes by telling her to vote against Elissa.

We move to the Have-not room, and Helen is on the floor crying that she wants America to vote her for MVP this week. “One of us”, replies Elissa. Knowingly, I must add. We get the sad music as they complain about Aaryn some more. “There must be some redemption in this”, says Helen.

For some strange reason, David wants to talk to Aaryn. He says he’s going to be truthful with her, but actually “lie lie lie”. More sad music; more wasted time in the show...especially after Andy’s attempt at a pun.

Speaking of wasted time, it’s the “who wants to see my HOH room?” segment. No recap of this bullshit cliched segment.

Now we are back to the vote controversy. THey have concluded it’s between Candice, Spencer, and Howard. I just don’t care anymore. Jeremy wants to nominate Elissa and Helen, and Jessie says that there is no way Elissa came up with the plan that saved her by herself. Jeremy, meanwhile, is thriving on the fact that this is actually his own HOH. Ok, one one funny part to end this segment. She warns Nick that if he is the one behind everything, she’s going to cut off his dick in his sleep. And I believe she would.

Time for more wasted segments, as we see the unveiling of the viewer’s choice Have-Not food. Andy, though, love the extra tv time as he complains about the liver and lima beans. #shrugs#

Wait a second. Why are McCrae and Amanda in the HOH with Andy, Judd, and Howard? Oh, I see. It is time for CBS to save face. They all start bitching about Aaryn, and Amanda brings up her derogatory and racist comments. Howard talks about it in the diary room, and we get some of the footage that both Aaryn and GinaMarie said. “Even when these comments are made in fun”, says Howard, “they still hurt and are disrespectful. Especially when that person isn’t there to hear it and back themselves up.” We get a few more of these remarks, and Howard says it is possible that it could lead him to lose his temper. Amanda then continues on about the topic, and how her comments are going to hurt her in and out of the house.

But we are back to the vote controversy, and Candice is talking to Helen about it. They go over the votes, and Candice figures out that Nick and Jeremy have something together. She is using her “super duper trooper skills” to figure it out. They now conclude that maybe Spencer is also working with them. “Nick is the one to watch”, says Candice. “I wonder if it is a boy’s supergroup.” Hey, even Howard may be in it! Or McCrae! “There’s something that we’re missing.”

Time for even more filler, as Jessie is upset that Nick is “scared” of her. She explains that she’s upset that everybody else (supposedly) has a love interest in the house, so she decides to bother Nick all day long. BTW, this is also way out of context as it was from last Monday. Besides that, it is boring and pathetic.

Now Helen and Aaryn have a conversation, with the idea that Helen wants to be an asset to Aaryn. While she doesn’t really care that much for what she has to say, it is a possibility that Helen could help her in the long run.

Jeremy is sitting outside with the Moving Company. He says that Elissa has to go, but who should go up with her? His idea is Helen, but Spencer brings up Amanda’s name as she “goes around and talks to everybody”. Spencer says in the diary room that he would much rather have Amanda go this week than Elissa. “If Amanda is out, Howard and I can run everything.” Wait, what?

Jeremy heads up to the diary room to inform Aaryn what the Moving Company said to him. He tells her that Amanda was the mastermind of David’s departure, so the idea is to put her up with Elissa. We’re led to believe that Aaryn is actually falling for this lie.

After a long, primarily boring half hour, it is now time for Aaryn to do almost exactly what Jeremy wants. I’m actually surprised that Aaryn can read the HOH script, and she goes through all the silliness that we have to endure before the actual nominations...as do the possible nominees and other influential house guests.

Jeremy’s key is pulled first, followed by Kaitlin, Andy, Nick, Judd, McCrae, GinaMarie, Spencer, Jessie, Amanda, Howard, and Candice. Yes, that means Helen and Elissa are nominated. Aaryn says that Elissa makes “a lot of unnecessary waves in the house” and was the “root of David going home”. Helen, though, is on the block by association.

As always, we end with the usual diary room statements by all of three of these loons, and a few more. So what did you think of tonight’s episode? Was it as full of filler as I believe? Are you as tired of Andy as I am? Tell us what you think!

 

Sunday
Jul072013

A Day In The Life Of: Elissa

After a few days of watching the entire house from afar, it is now time for me to once again focus on an individual. This is going to be tough viewing for me in some respects, but could also be an easy day as the person in question has a habit of disappearing for hours and hours at a time. What could she possibly be doing during these times? Is she getting her lines prepared by production? Is she getting more botox? Or just working on finally dislodging the poop from her intestines?

I should probably throw out a little disclaimer before I begin my day’s viewing. One aspect of this season that I’m not enjoying is the simple fact that any minor criticism of a Reilly results in a hailstorm of complaints. In fact, even giving another person praise usually leads into these kinds of replies.

With that in mind, I will again disclose that I don’t believe it is fair that Elissa is in the house. MVP was designed to ensure her safety, almost like a yearlong Diamond Power of Veto. She’s not receiving these victories for any reason other than the fact that she has name recognition.

I would feel the same way no matter whose relative was on the show, and that’s where I have my difficulties with the Reilly Army. I’d LOVE to see their opinions if the stunt cast for this season was somebody they hated. What if it was a relative of the Hantz family? Or Matt Hoffman’s wife? Or somebody with a connection to Boogie? I don’t think they’d love the twist quite as much.

So let’s get on with the day. Yesterday was an up and down day for Ms. Elissa. She spent the day knowing she was going on the block, and dealing with the already-mentioned stomach issue. A couple of hours after she was nominated, productions “accidentally” allowed us to see the announcement that she has again won MVP. Shocker!

A couple of people have questioned why she was told of this win last night instead of shortly before the selection of veto players, as was announced. That’s easy to explain. Everybody noted last week that Elissa was called into the diary room twice before that meeting, so that cat was immediately out of the bag. Sure, everybody is assuming she will win every week she is in the house, but doing it the night before is designed to raise questions as to who it could be besides her.

Today actually starts earlier than expected, as Big Brother wakes everybody shortly before 8 am. Elissa is first seen in the kitchen area, and I notice a sly little trick of hers. Instead of polite greetings to everybody as they first come into the kitchen area, she pulls them aside for short little conversations. Nothing of substance is said, but it is clearly designed to raise suspicions in the other house mates.

This morning, she does this with a couple of people, most notably Spencer and Judd. It also works perfectly, as Aaryn is watching upstairs on the spy cam and freaks out. Judd is called up to the HOH to report on what was said. Mission accomplished!

We then see a little bit of her talking to Candice while putting on makeup before the feeds go to fish. It’s time to announce Elissa’s nominee, and pick veto players!

When the feeds come back, Elissa has done the expected and used that third nomination on Jeremy. She is shown lecturing Nick about the lack of maturity on the younger half of the house. “500 thousand dollars is going to go down the drain to some guy who wants to buy a new pair of dockers for his boat. Work with the mature people in the house. The people  who want to play the game, who want to play strategic and not bully people.” She says she wants to work with him, but he has already backstabbed her twice. She supposedly loved David, and was way less of a threat than him. There’s also a bit of weirdness where Elissa claims that working with Jeremy is advocating violence against women. I just don’t know where that came from.

Nick’s response is that he’s screwed either way, but eventually he shakes on a deal with her to throw the veto competition in return for not going up as a replacement nominee. The conversation is almost broken up by Andy, who continues his annoying trait of interrupting almost every chat.

With that conversation concluded, Howard comes in and hugs her. They pray together in hopes of Elissa’s success in the veto competition. Oh yeah, and that her “stomach feels better”. Judd also comes in for a hug, and she tells him about her conversation with Nick. Oh yeah, and Andy again walks in on the conversation. At least this time, she acknowledges him, and they also rehash the Nick conversation. Candice then comes into the room, and they have a little small talk about veto comp outfits before Elissa leaves the room.

Since she’s the focus of the days events, the cameras follow her around much more than usual today. She wanders around the house, into the kitchen, back to the have-not room, and in and out of the bathroom. Eventually the camera moves on to dumb conversations from the “Blondetourage”, and we don’t see her for a bit.

A bit later, she is seen again in the bathroom before heading into the have-not room to prepare for the veto comp and again complain about the bullies to Candice. “They’re always attacking meeeeee.” After a few minutes alone, Helen comes in to give her a pep talk. Helen also plans on throwing it, but for some reason thinks it’s going to be an endurance-type competition. “It’s not going to be a puzzle this early.” Elissa’s main concern is that if she wears shorts the cameras may pick up body parts she doesn’t want to show. If Nick doesn’t end up throwing the competition, though, they will know not to ever trust him again. He gets a two-week deal if he correctly follow through. The camera again follows her as she wanders around the house for last-minute preparations, including another attempt to excise her built-up you know what.

When the feeds returned a couple of hours later, it was clear that neither Helen or Elissa had won. “It sucks so bad.” Yes, their worst enemy, Jeremy, had won, and it’s beyond obvious that he was going to save himself. This means Kaitlin is Elissa’s obvious choice for a replacement.

Candice also walks in, and they continue to talk as Helen does jumping jacks and other exercises for no apparent reason. Spencer also wanders in for some encouraging words.

While Helen continues to stomp around doing her exercise routine, Elissa goes into full Rachel mode. “I’ve never even done anything to become a target.” Candice’s big issue is that girls never win on Big Brother (say what?), mainly because guy’s band together. When Candice says she can’t walk into a room without girls talking about other girls, Elissa immediately pipes up. “Do they talk about other people beside me?” Yes, Elissa, you are not the center of the universe. When everybody leaves the room, she rids herself of some frustration with some yoga poses.

The feeds go off her for a bit, but quickly return. She’s still doing some yoga moves while talking to Candice. She tells her that her game is screwed by being Rachel’s sister, and she should “lay low and not anybody see you crack”. Elissa is convinced that Jeremy’s “fire” isn’t for the money, but to get her out. Candice disagrees.

Helen also returns, but thankfully is done working out. “The game is not over”, says Helen. “So chop chop.” They believe Spencer is working with Jeremy and the rest of the guys, and he needs to go after Jeremy. “Choose a side, dude.” Elissa again (dumbly) asks if they think Jeremy will take himself off the block, and says she’s offended by the arrogance. “I don’t think he’s socially savvy. He’s just a good competitor. Kaitlin’s going up. I’m not happy, because she’s nice. But this game is not about being nice.” GinaMarie’s name is also brought out, and Elissa laughs at her two-faced nature. “Yo yo yo, we gotta get the bitch out”, she likes to say just moments after befriending her.

The conversation with Candice continues on and on about how mean everybody is to her, and Candice mentions that Elissa has remained pretty calm. Elissa says she’s happy to have played in these competitions, even if she hasn’t won anything, but Candice says it’s not over yet. Candice finally leaves, and Elissa mopes around the room a bit cleaning up.

A bit later, Jeremy sees Elissa in the kitchen, and goes down to chat with her. They have a pretty civil conversation about how much fun they had on the competition, and Elissa tells him it proved he’d be great kids. She’s not entirely enthusiastic about talking to him, and who can blame her? A minute or so later, he wanders off to insert himself into one of Andy’s dumb topics.

Others come and go into the kitchen area, but only Amanda hangs around as Elissa bakes. Nothing of substance comes out of their conversation. Elissa has a sly smile on her face as she references some inside joke that she refuses to reveal to Amanda.

Her buddy Helen returns to eat the slop muffins, which, of course, are delicious. Elissa’s response? “If only we were having a cleanliness and baking cook-off. Shit, Jeremy would probably step it up for that.” Andy joins them, and they all agree that slop and the have-not room are getting easier to deal with. He also asks the question we all want the answer - “how did you come about being on the show?” Of course, production steps in and we go right to the fish.

A bit later, Elissa disappears from the cams, and we’re forced to endure Aaryn giving relationship advice to GinaMarie, or Amanda and McCrae’s weird coupling. When the backyard is opened, she returns to do some yoga. She eventually sits next to Amanda, and starts feeling her out as to who she could put up that would save her. McCrae is brought into the conversation, and Elissa’s main point is that Jeremy’s crowd needs to be broken up. The conversation ends before he can answer as Judd sits with them. Elissa heads inside.

Not long afterwards, something stunning happens. Helen advises Elissa to break her deal with Nick. Candice adds that personally she would never break her word. BUT, and this is a big but, she thinks that Nick may have been trying to win veto. There’s the loophole!

Helen goes on, saying there is no way Kaitlin will be evicted over Elissa, mainly because they’re scared of Jeremy. She wants to go feel the mood of the house about Nick. Candice promises to do the same. If this works, maybe grrrrl power will work after all! Candice isn’t so sure of that idea, and reminds them that Amanda is a “guy’s girl” who isn’t comfortable with other women.

Operation Save Elissa goes into effect. Candice heads upstairs to try to put some doubt in the minds of Aaryn and Jeremy about the MVP winner. They’re not buying it, but it does bring out an hour or so of bickering from them.

Elissa floats in and out of the feeds. It’s by far the most social she’s been this season. She has a long chat with Spencer about her family, and how she wants to open a wellness center. She has numerous conversations with Helen, although I’m not sure they do any good as Helen is quickly being discovered as not the brightest bulb in reading people. At various points of the night, Elissa switches between Kaitlin and Nick as her substitute nominee. Surprisingly, Howard also throws out Nick’s name.

There’s one person that actually gives her a bit of hope, although her boyfriend doesn’t agree. Amanda wants to keep Elissa, with the longstanding theory that Elissa will always have a target. You know, the one that saved her last week. Unfortunately for Elissa, McCrae doesn’t agree.

There’s so much wheeling and dealing, and alliance and sub-alliance arguing, that we don’t see much of Elissa for the rest of the night. There’s a few segments where Helen is giving her a pep talk, along with shoutouts to Brendon and Rachel, but the night is all about the louder portioins of the house.

Until the end of the night. Elissa and NIck are in the backyard. Nick tells her that she should be up against a so-called “floater...someone who people won’t care about sending home”. When pressed for names, he throws out Jessie and Candice. Elissa isn’t so sure about the idea, and asks why people would keep Kaitlin. Nick wants a bit more time to think about the situation, and Elissa heads up to bed.

I did it. I followed a Reilly for an entire day on the feeds. To be fair, thanks to the recording of the Big Brother Gossip Show, I was able to scan some flashback for those last few hours. During the day, though, I didn’t take my feeds off her. I’m a dedicated craftsman!

What did you think of this profile? Was I fair to Elissa? Or to the rest of the house? Do you think she will be saved this week? Comment it out!

Saturday
Jul062013

Big Brother Gossip Show #303: Bigotry Brother

How does one handle a week that involves bigotry, homophobia, sexual innuendo, hat crimes, and excrement? You deal with it head on. We talk about all of that and more, and we still aren't able to talk about everything that happened during the week.

We did the best we could, though, and I think you'll enjoy this epsiode. I can definitely attest to the quality of the song opener I picked. Grab it from the usual sources, including iTunes, Scott's android/iPhone app, Stitcher, or...

DIRECTLY STREAM/DOWNLOAD BY CLICKING HERE!!!

Thanks to those who listened to it live, and to all of you who download it every week. We all greatly appreciate it, and hope that you continue to listen to us. Please give us a review (good or bad) at iTunes. Or tell us in the comments to this post your thoughts about the show!

Friday
Jul052013

Shocker (Not Really)

It took longer than expected, but the feeds are back and Elissa and Helen have been nominated.

What a strange day, though. We had an entire afternoon of ring kissing, as Jeremy and Aaryn have been holding court. One by one, they've come in for interrogation, with the main question being who should go up next to Elissa. Strangely, Helen basically offered herself up, which was an unnecessary move as she was going up all along.

Kaitlin, though, made it all about herself, with some strange pleas for Candice to go up instead of Helen. In some strange piece of brain farting, Kaitlin would end up going home if it was Helen as the pawn instead of Candice. Not really sure what that was all about.

Even weirder, though, was the sad case of Elissa. She was scheduled to be the last person to grovel, but was suffering from stomach issues. Oddly, this caused the Cat Lady contingent on twitter to start praying, becasue she may be close to death! She just needed a good poop, which means this was the first nomination ceremony in history to be delayed by an intestinal issue. if you think about it, it's fitting.

So we know that Elissa will get the (non-deserved) MVP again tomorrow. Who will go up? Will it be Jeremy, or Kaitlin? Tell us your prediction!

Thursday
Jul042013

Lazy Day

Just a little update. There's not much going on today. Reverting back to the traditional TV schedule, along with today being a holiday, means that nominations won't happen until tomorrow. It's been a day of sitting by the pool, putting on makeup, and feeling betrayed by a scrap of paper. Yes, GinaMarie has been a real treat all day. Her motormouth skills have been on full display, and she's now disgusted by Nick due to a place card with David's initials she found in his pile of clothes. (Rumor is that it's the name cards the stand-ins use when rehearsing for the live eviction show.)

Oh yes, and our pretty little Aryan princess still can't control her mouth. She's had a number of questionable comments all day long, including one about how Candice is just like all of the other African-American women from recent seasons.

One piece of good news. The day is half over, and Helen has yet to cry! It's a good day for her! The same can't be said for Amanda, who is so paranoid that she's going on the block that she has been up to the HOH on multiple ocassions to beg them to believe her that she didn't vote to evict David. It doesn't seem to be working.

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