Scott's Initial Impressions

Wow, it's really quiet around here. Where is everybody? Where are the pages and pages of snarky commentary, bikini shots, and the other commentary we have always been known to offer on this silly little site?

I know, I know, I know - it is just as much my fault as anybody's, but home projects that were projected to be completed by the start of the season were pushed back...and then pushed back again. I just sort of assumed some of our many other correspondents would pick up the slack, but I guess real world issues are also affecting their lives.

So I'm here to fill the void a bit with this list of initial impressions. There's no real rhyme or reason for this analysis, as today isn't a real noteworthy day in the Big Brother timeline. I've just been thinking about these folks today, and thought I'd throw out some observations.

Already Evicted:

Jodi Rollins. What is there to say about a person who first showed up on our television around 20 minutes into the broadcast and was out of the house before the conclusion of the show? Not much, really. She seemed to be a nice person, and reportedly was a so-called "superfan", but judging by her twitter timeline the last few days I don't really think she would have fit in with this crowd. I wish her all the best, but she really didn't have much to contribute.

Kara Monaco. I have a feeling that when the producers decided to book a former Playmate of the Year, they were expecting a brash young lady who preferred to wear as little clothing as possible. They were clearly wrong in that assessment, as she was not only soft-spoken but remained completely covered up her entire time in the house. I mean completely covered up, too. A burka would show more skin than what we normally saw from Kara. She was also completely out of her element in the house, and it is doubtful she has ever seen the show. If she had not been nominated that first week, she probably would have skated for awhile, but her ouster was probably for the best.

Willie Hantz. His story has been widely discussed on this site (most notably by Barefoot Drunk's post a few days ago), but nobody in Big Brother history has crashed and burned like the little brother of some renowned Survivor character. He was handed the HOH after the first competition, and ruled it like he was a King. He made deals with every single person in the house, and was shocked to discover that people actually compare notes. Once things didn't go his way, he flipped out and was given the boot by production. While there are conflicting stories as to what really happened, and the CBS edit did NOTHING to clear them up, the Hantz story is a test case for the higher ups who make contestants watch past seasons while in sequester. You just can't attempt to play a full season in one week.

Current Nominees:

Danielle Murphree. In a season of loons, this woman is easily the looniest. She's supposedly a nurse, but is masquerading as a kindergarten teacher so the house doesn't believe she's smart. Yes, this is her grand plan. She has evil eyes that always seem to be on the verge to disintegrate whatever they're focused on, and constantly talks about her devil Father. The only positive quality I can come up with for her is that she has an ability to turn ANY conversation into being about her. Yeah, she's quite the basket case.

JoJo Spatafora. At first glance, this is the perfect houseguest for me. By the second glance, I'm racing to change to another camera shot. She's from Long Island, and loves to perpetuate the stereotypes of that area. Her voice is a mixture of Fran Drescher and the Jersey Shore morons, and the only thing she seems to talk about is her sexual needs. She also has absolutely no loyalty to anybody. One day she's trying to grab Willie's dick under the covers of the HOH room, and the next she's tearing him apart as the worst person in the world. Granted, the Willie situation put her in a bad spot, and she was attempting to do some damage control, but allies are always collateral damage for the other side to attack.

The Rest of the Noobs:

Ashley Iocco. I have such mixed feelings about this bondage actress/mobile spray tan owner. Her pre-show videos annoyed me to no end, but I warmed up to her in the first few days. The "date" with Ian indicated that she was a good sport, but last night's "panic attack" and paranoia over a non-existent deal between Ian and Frank was ridiculous. She could easily crash and burn any day now, or she could settle down and be a contender for the finals. I doubt it could happen, but she probably has the best chance of any of the new females.

Frank Eudy. I know people who absolutely abhor the son of WWE's Psycho Sid, and I completely understand. Apparently, he farts a lot and has horrible body odor, but luckily for me the feeds don't feature Smell-O-Vision. Oh yeah, jumping on the "bully" bandwagon during last week's final plea speech did little to stir up any confidence. Yet I kind of like this goofball. While he hasn't been real successful in competitions so far, outside of last Thursday's HOH victory, he's not a dumb guy and is obviously pretty athletic. If next week's HOH doesn't rally the troops to oust him, he could be a contender.

Ian Terry. Oh boy. While some of my colleagues ADORE this brainiac "superfan", I have yet to see the appeal. Yes, his social awkwardness is kind of entertaining at times, and he did manage to cut the tension during the Frank/Willie battle with a perfect-timed line, but I just don't see any reason to keep him around except that he is little threat to the rest of the house. When your main goal of being in the house is to make Wikipedia, then you're not one to take seriously.

Joe Arvin. Pure shit-stirrer. He single-handedly created the Willie situation (with an assist from Janelle), and arguably should have been booted by egging it on. He has absolutely no loyalties to anybody, and has turned his back on every person he has aligned himself with. Plus, the fact that he named his group "Diversity" is reason enough to dislike this goon (especially since it was the most un-diverse group ever created). Even the one aspect that is supposed to help keep him around, his cooking, has created tension because he wastes too much of the food. It's only a matter of time before we're thankfully free of his over-the-top diary room expressions.

Shane Meaney. Words really cannot express what a dim bulb this guy is. Seriously, his IQ must be well under 100. The female portion of the house supposedly exists only to entertain him, as evidenced by the CBS episode where Kara's desire to plead her case to remain in the house was a come-on in his eyes. Yet he has won both POV's this season, so he is a physical force to be reckoned with, just don't count on him for any expert scheming. Trust me, even adequate scheming may be a stretch.

Wil Heuser. For me, he is the male equivalent of Ashley. I want to like him. I really want to like him, and quite often the "gay Evan Dando" is a fun person. Yet he is also possibly the bitchiest person on this season's cast, and his mood can turn in a heartbeat. I do think he can go quite far this year, though, as he is not only more intelligent than the majority of the house but is quite athletic. I look to him to excel in the endurance competitions.

The Coaches:

Britney Haynes. Oh my, how far one of my faves has fallen. I loved Britney during her season. I adored her! She looks wonderful in a bikini, and was the queen of the snark, a combo that ALWAYS works with me! As one friend pointed out, though, she had a pretty easy road during her season. She was a part of the big crowd that was dominating the season, so she could just sit back and throw out one-liners.

This year, though, I can barely deal with her. While she initially appeared to have picked the dream team of the season (Willie, Shane, JoJo), her big mouth has done her no favors so far this year. Admitting to Willie that she believed the coaches were entering the game sparked last week's huge fights, and the constant lecturing and hectoring pretty much drove Willie to the confrontation that ousted him. She has done little else other than whine and cry the entire time the feeds have been live.

Dan Gheesling. I must admit that I don't quite get the love and adoration I see on my timeline every time he shows up on the feeds. Seriously, it's insane. Any conversation sets these fine people up for lines about how he's showing up the person he's chatting, or that he's gathering the needed information that will save the day for his team.

Guess what? Whatever tidbits he's gleaned from these people have done nothing to help himself or his team. The first two evictees were from his team, and Daniele doesn't inspire a lot of confidence for his future. What was he doing choosing her, Kara, and Jodi? Ok, he had no choice but to take Jodi for his last pick, but still!

I do like Dan, though. He was entertaining during his season, and made the moves needed to win in a year that didn't feature much competition. This belief that he's a Big Brother superstar is ridiculous, though!

Janelle Pierzina. I have such mixed feelings for Janelle. Yes, she's a great competitor during physical contests, and has a knack for getting people to babble about things she shouldn't be hearing. I don't believe her heart is into being a part of a third season of the show, though, and her rivalry with Boogie is nauseating. If the coaches indeed get to enter the game, I don't think she'll be heartbroken if she doesn't make the cut.

Mike "Boogie" Mallin. Talk about mixed feelings. Actually, talk about 90% hatred. I never was a fan of this clown. I have always hated that he dresses like my nine year-old nephew, or that we're supposed to think of him as a legend. I wholeheartedly am disgusted by his lame attempts to recreate the catchphrases and diary room antics from his earlier years with Dr. Will. His lame-brain premature jump off the platform during last week's coach's competition may be my favorite moment of the show so far.

Chip away the clown act, though, and he's actually been the only coach to give adequate advice to his charges. He may be for the most part ignoring Jenn, but that may be the best move for her game. When it comes to Frank and Ian, though, he seems to be working some magic. Most importantly, unlike Britney he doesn't dwell on these decisions. He talks to Frank or Ian, and then goes to take a nap. That's a great way to work!

Update on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 at 8:24PM by Scott

Ugh, how could I screw up like this. Yes, I missed a person, and it is probably fitting since...well, you'll see.

Jenn Arroyo. The missing HG of this year. Seriously, is the former Kittie bassist ever on the screen? Shunned by a few people early in the season, she's slowly been coming out of her shell the past couple of days, despite being a casualty of the last evening's Ashley psycho-drama. Her biggest trait is that she is a great listener. Anybody who can endure the mundane conversations of these people deserve more than just the added insertion by a stupid blogger. I'm hoping she sticks around for quite some time. 

Big Brother #14, Episode 5 Recap

Alright, my friends, you better have your popcorn ready tonight, as this is going to be a good one. Tonight is the bitter and disgraceful end of the reign of King Willie, and hopefully a lot of questions are answered.

But how much of the King's fall will we see? As we talked about last night on The Big Brother Gossip Show, there's a good chance that the typical Big Brother Sunday night template will be altered to capitalize on what could be the show's best chance for a ratings boom. I predict that we won't see the nominations; instead, tonight's broadcast will cut off right as Willie goes off on Joe and Janelle. Wednesday's show will then show the true fireworks and his departure.

So here we go!!! It's flashback time, just in case you forgot what happened three days ago. Yes, Frank, you made a comeback, and Willie is not happy. Janelle adds that aligning her team with Frank is a smart move for the time being. Ashley explains her vote to evict Kara as a way to get rid of somebody who was going to play her game - slipping "under the radar". Interesting.

After Kara's departure, Willie is seen steaming and Dan is consoling his remaining player, Daniele, by telling her that he won't "let her down" like he did Kara. Yeah, I'm sure that makes her feel better. He also adds that even with "one chip", Big Brother allows you to play so he's still in the running.

Meanwhile, Frank and Boogie are jumping around. Boogie explains that the vote was basically the house versus Willie. "The house decided that the best chance to get rid of Willie is to keep Frank. Kara probably wasn't going to dare to go after him." Boogie advises Frank to "go out and get HOH". This is exactly what Frank does, of course, and the two continue to gloat. Ugh, the Frank and Boogie Show is old already.

As they celebrate their victory, Willie storms out. "At this moment, I really don't want to talk to anybody. The worst person that could have won won...I'm going to stay fighting, and hopefully win POV and then HOH next week." Foreshadowing? Shane adds that he's considering dropping his affiliation with Willie.

Janelle is now seen consoling Britney, and says that "I now you like Willie, but he needs to go". In the diary room, Janelle adds that it was impossible to keep her alliance with Britney because Willie is so uncontrollable. Ugh, there goes the "bully" word from Janelle. "The entire house wants him out." Britney adds in the diary room that Willie has embarrassed her, and that it was a mistake to pick him for her team. "It's a disaster."

Dan is still giving Daniele advice, and his plan for her is to "get closer to Janelle's team". Once again, we have to endure coaching analogies from Dan, but it does seem to be sinking in on that little psycho nurse/kindergarten teacher.

Now Frank is in the storage room, and it is Jojo's time to suck up. She babbles nonsense about how she is such a "loyal person. It was nothing personal against you." She says in the diary room that she wants to stay loyal to Willie, but continues to talk shit about him. "I think I can work my magic on Frank." Girl, you have no magic...especially when you talk.

Interesting...we're already at the boring section of the show where we have to view Frank's HOH room, and we have not seen Britney tearing a new asshole into Willie. That was the post-eviction show story of the night, as she carried on and on and on. Willie also has no desire to go through this idiocy, but does wander up for a few minutes. Boogie also gets some HOH stuff, and we get a (non-)touching moment of him showing a picture of his child. Willie hangs around for a bit, and then disappears.

Oh, here we go with Britney chewing out Willie. He calmly walks into the lounge room (whatever it's called), saying it's all "no big thing", and she then rips into him for being egotistical, a brute, and the cause of all things wrong in the entire world. Nope, Britney, you made yourself the fool, not the King.

Filler time, as Shane and Daniele flirt. Awful, even with a rare Jenn appearance from the diary room. Plus, I still can't understand a word that twit says.

Now we get to some stuff about the coaching twist. Britney walks into a room where Dan and Boogie are rehashing various scenarios, and Britney says it's doubtful that anybody would actually trade except for her. Boogie counters by saying neither him or Dan are "obvious players", and babbles that getting rid of Willie wouldn't really save her for being the target team since she also has Shane. Britney claims in the diary room that she can't be screwed over by Boogie. Yeah, right.

More filler, as Dan and Janelle talk about how hard it is to be in the house while married and with a kid. Come on, CBS! You have a shitload of major material to show and you're wasting our time with this bullshit!!!

And the time-wasting continues, as once again we see Boogie mentoring Ian. Come on, while I will admit Boogie has given him some good advice you can't possibly believe viewers will buy Boogie as a mentor while wearing the godawful clothing he is constantly sporting on the show.

In fact, this is old, old, old material. In fact, this is from over a week ago, as Ian tells Boogie that he wants to have a date with Ashley. What.The.Fuck. They relay the info to Dan, who goes and drags Ashley outside to propose this "slop date". Ashley plays the role, though, saying that she has a "soft spot for the cute, little nerdy guys with glasses". For the real story, go back to my post from last Monday called "The Worst Porno".

Finally, we move on to game stuff. Britney is in the lounge with Jojo and Shane, and asks what they've been thinking. Shane says they have to "separate from Willie". Jojo adds that it may be better in the long run to just lose Willie now rather than hurting them all for weeks to come. "If there's a way that I can try to keep both of you in the game this week, that's what I'm going to do. I don't think it's fair what has happened; that Willie's actions are going to come back to bite you."

It's now time for the Coach's competition, and Frank and Boogie are dressed in...um, I'm not sure what they're dressed as. Old school NYC white rappers??? They all head out back to the lamest inner city set I've ever seen. There are telephone booths, "graffiti", newspaper stands. Um, it's awful, even with Ian trying to explain it to use.

So the players are all supposedly dressed as old school rappers, but they look...um, ridiculous. Britney doesn't understand the gold pants, either. "I don't know if I'm supposed to be a genie or...a waiter." The actual game consists of transferring bricks of money across a balance beam, and if they drop it they're out of the game.

After the requisite I "have" to win this game, except for Dan who says he's building a weak persona by constantly losing. "We've got to keep it up." Britney jumps out to a huge lead, which is accompanied by silly diary room lines from the rest of the cast, until she knocks over her stack of cash.

Ian now uses physics to inform Boogie how he needs to proceed, and he's in the running with Janelle. Boogie is just a bit ahead of Janelle, but jumps off the beam BEFORE pushing the button. OMG!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Britney loves that he fucked up! "What an idiot!"

Janelle obviously then wins, and she proclaims that the "comp queen is back in the house". She then has to decide whether to trade or keep a player safe, and she decides to keep Ashley safe. "I'm going to need Ashley in this game. I want her to focus and bring her a little bit closer to me, so I kept her safe this week."

Janelle also has to pick the week's have-nots. "I'm definitely picking Willie. Jojo, Shane, and I'm sorry Ian, but you're going to have to take it again if you want the BB experience." Jojo is steaming, especially that she put Shane back on slop. "You're just a mean bitch."

After another commercial break, the house walks in from the competition to find the results of this week's America's Choice for the Have-Nots - pork rinds and pudding. Stupid Jojo decides we need to hear her talk like Fran Drescher. Really, she does. It's terrible. Ian has no problems with this selection, as "pudding is one of the best have-not food choices in the history of Big Brother".

As everybody is milling about, Willie attempts to pull Shane and Jojo into another room. Shane has no desire to follow him - "no, I'm good for a little bit". Britney denies this little meeting, and says in the diary room that Willie is "dead to us". She pulls Jojo into the have-not bedroom, and tells her that she can't be caught talking to him. "When he tells you to come some where, don't go."

The kitchen is now empty except for Jojo, and Willie walks in and says that he's "gonig to get the heat off y'all". Britney then walks in, and tells him to "just stop".

Upstairs, the rest of the crew is gloating. Downstairs, Britney continues to berate Willie before finally telling him to just go "act like that upstairs".

"You think I'm scared", replies Willie. He suddenly sprints up to the HOH room, leaving Britney to continue to complain about him to Jojo. As the HOH crew catch him coming up via the skycam, Willie stops and explains that his anger is because the rest of the team are getting the backlash he caused. "It makes no sense, and I'm about to square that up right now."

Joe rushes to the HOH door, but Willie barges in, saying "I fucked up last week, right? Y'all ain't gotta blame them (Jojo and Shane)." Joe pipes in, saying that those two "chose to stay with you, brother". He then lays out the line that has been repeated for the last two days, that "I'm going to get myself evicted before I get out that door".

Jojo is now shown complaining about Willie to Daniele, as Willie wanders across the house and into that same room. Jojo says that she's sorry but she can't associate with him. He paces around the room as Jojo scatters back to her pudding. "I'm not letting him take me down with him."

Willie continues to pace, and then walks back out into the kitchen. He starts nibbling on a pork rind, and suddenly says "I've never seen a bigger group of pussies in my life". Britney, of course, has to whine back, and Willie says he's "not going out with class". Joe then heads back to the kitchen, and as he walks past Willie says "there's a bunch of (bleeps) in this bitch". Joe asks him what he said, and Willie races to confront him. Ian, dressed in a towel from his shower, attempts to play peace maker as we go to a commercial with Willie and Joe about to punch each other.

When we return, Willie gets into Joe's face, and the noise brings everybody down to see what's going on. Despite what we've been told, Willie doesn't really give Joe a headbutt. They're face to face, and Willie just pushes him with his forehead. We then hear BB tell Willie to go into the bedroom, and it is Janelle's turn to get into Willie's face. "It's our house, too. You don't own this place." Despite what we've been told (primarily by Janelle herself), Willie doesn't really throw a pork rind at her. Well, he kind of does, but it's nowhere near as exciting as I was hoping it would be. Joe is told by BB to not follow Willie, and Jojo consoles Britney. Well, everybody consoles each other in various rooms. Willie is instructed to come to the diary room.

Inside, we see them say, "I need you to come with me", as he walks away from the diary room area.

Now Jenn is consoling Britney, because you know it is all about her. Jojo is still complaining to Shane that they're "going to go down for him", but Boogie is laughing about the whole situation.

Alison Grodner's voice comes on the speakers, and the house is called into the living room. She reads a statement that "violence is not tolerated in the Big Brother house, so Willie has been removed from the game". Britney says she's relieved, but coming from "a game perspective, this is the worst thing that can happen to me as a coach". Yes, Brit, it's all about you. Ian says that he deserved it, and will go down in history as "the least dignified history in Big Brother history". Shane repeats Jojo's mantra that it sucks for them, and in a rare Boogie moment he actually sounds a bit contrite as he talks about what Willie gave up due to a bad temper. Joe ends the segment, and show, by screaming at the camera that he hopes that Willie finds peace.

That's it, folks. I'm a bit shocked that they showed the entire Willie segment, but I'm also pissed that so much of the show was wasted with silliness (and old footage). What did you think of tonight's show? Did you think the entire Willie saga was Britney's fault? let us know your thoughts.

Big Brother Gossip Show #20: Little Willy

It should be pretty obvious what we talked about tonight on The Big Brother Gossip Show. Yes, it's Little Willie Hantz, and we go over his tumultuous week beginning with his reaction to Britney's disclosure that the coaches believe they'll be entering the game up to his shocking eviction Friday night. Besides the actual events, we also talk a little bit about the ramifications of these events, including how CBS will fill out the rest of the season and whether future Big Brother seasons should include stunt casting such as the Hantz booking. We even have a handful of tunes in tonight's show!

Once again, here are the instructions to listen to the show. You can stream it via Scott's Android/iPhone app, The Ledge, or via Stitcher (http://www.stitcher.com/listen.php?fid=16875). You can also subscribe via iTunes (http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/big-brother-gossip-mp3/id502746488), and if you do please leave us a review. Finally, there's also a feedburner site - http://feeds.feedburner.com/bigbrothergossip - that links you to a number of different methods to subscribe. 

Finally, for a direct stream or download, please click...

--->HERE<----

Thanks to Mike, Ash, Colette, and Karen for their help in putting together this episode. Now go listen!!!

Big Brother #14, Episode 4 Recap

I have a confession to make, and it pains me to admit this. In the interest of fairness, though, I have to admit to you, my fine readers, that I’m just not excited about tonight’s episode. While it has been a tumultuous first week in the house with seemingly every player trying to fit a whole season in just a few days, the actual eviction episode is bound to be anticlimactic.

It didn’t have to be that way, as the decision on who to evict changed almost every day. Wait, I take that back. It seemed to change by the hour! Yet somewhere last night the final decision was debated for the last time, and unless a handful of people are good at poker faces the outcome is predictable.

It’s not just the actual eviction that has me a bit less than enthusiastic. Last night’s CBS episode (and the previous two) showed that CBS believes that all the viewers care about are the so-called “legendary” coaches. Last night they had the entire focus of the show, and I don’t see that changing tonight. Meanwhile, the ten new players who don’t have Hantz as a last name are completely ignored except for filler entertainment.

However, I am a bit excited for the last few minutes of the show, as if it goes off as I’m hoping it could set the stage for an even more crazy few days. I’m not counting on this happening, though, as it is very rare that the broadcast version of this show lives up to any expectations.

So let’s get this over with by starting off with the predictable reactions to Shane’s decision to not use the veto. Guess what? The nominated people aren’t happy, and neither are their coaches! What a shocker! Oh yes, and Shane repeated the only sentence he knows about not wanting “blood on my hands”.

Frank heads upstairs to talk to Willie. He thinks that Willie is the key to staying in the house, so he sucks up to him by saying that he’s the only one he trusts. “You’re still good to stay in this house”, replies Willie. “I’m telling you that I’m going to get you your votes this week. The only way it would stop is if you run around and start talking to people.” FORESHADOW ALERT! Willie doesn’t stop babbling, though, and claims that he controls the entire house. Hmmm, interesting.

Dimwit Shane now comes up to talk to Willie, as does a bunch of other noobs, Britney, and Janelle. Willie informs them that as a group they need to decide who to keep. Wil makes a case for either decision, but Britney wants to boot Kara so that Dan is down to his last player. “He has magic powers, and when he talks to you hear an angel chorus.” Willie adds that if Kara becomes the next HOH (pretty unlikely), Dan will make her put up some of their crew. The decision has been made – it’s Kara that’s going home.

Janelle decides that she doesn’t want Dan “gunning” for her, so she goes outside and sits with him. “I don’t know why, but they really want to keep Frank…these people are stupid.” Meanwhile, Britney is giving her the evil eye (or maybe one of them is just wandering) as Janelle complains about going with the majority of the house. Oh, little Brit is pissed.

Now Britney is sitting inside eating cereal, and she just happens to notice that her name on the wall also has a place for the key. We’re supposed to believe a little light bulb just hit at that very moment, instead of the constant babbling about this very topic she had done with Janelle. She “now” believes the coaches may be entering the game at some point as a big twist.

She just has to head up to King Willie with this theory. “There’s two missing weeks.” She also believes that Janelle has partnered up with Dan to stay in the game. Ooooh, Willie is not happy because that screws up his entire game. “I’m nobody’s pawn in this game.”

Jump ahead to a sunny afternoon, and Britney is sitting with a number of people saying how she just wants to forget there is a game and “live harmoniously”. Willie, though, wants to stir some shit. “I want to have a house meeting with just the people that are playing the game.” Britney is not happy with this development. “I’m just seeing my entire game go down in flames.” Janelle attempts to follow them in, but Willie sends her packing.

After they head into the HOH, Dan tells Janelle and Britney that if that was one of his players. “I would have nixed that”. Janelle doesn’t seem to care, though.

Willie starts the ball rolling by saying that they’re being played by the coaches, and they could change the game by ignoring their coaches. Daniele interrupts, but I cannot for the life of me understand what she says.

Back outside, Britney wants to know where Boogie is. He’s napping. Meanwhile, Willie is telling everybody the key situation, and that the coaches may enter the game. Ian assists in this discussion by saying the show needs at least 13 people to play the game.

Oh wait, we have a Judas. Joe believes that they’re jumping the gun, playing too hard, and making too many assumptions. A quick edit goes to Wil claiming that he’s going to take a 24 hour break from “playing the game”. The segment ends with Willie proclaiming that if the coaches enter the game, they’ll walk away with the half million.

After a commercial break, it is time for round two of the big fight. Frank claims that he felt better about his chances before the “town hall meeting”, and he’s second guessing how Willie is playing the game, so he’s now back into the HOH to see “where his head’s at”. This won’t end well. Willie claims that nothing has changed, and that they “need to stay strong”. For some reason, Britney enters the room and Willie makes fun of Wil’s proclamation to not play for 24 hours. Frank shakes his head, and says he “was rubbed the wrong way”.

Frank heads back downstairs and informs Joe and Jenn that he doesn’t like this situation. Neither does Joe, who claims that Willie wants a split vote so nobody can figure out who voted for whom. A flashback shows this exact conversation, and now Frank is completely pissed. “I don’t think I can trust him, and I don’t think he’s somebody I want to work with.”

Completely incensed, Frank tells the story of Willie mocking Wil, and dumb Joe is “not happy with that all. That’s not part of the game.” So Joe runs and tells Wil, who “does not tolerate one frickin’ ounce of anybody making fun of anybody. Willie mocking me is going to come back to bite him in the ass, and I’m going to make damned sure it does.”

Wil, along with Frank, go off to let Britney know of this situation, and here is exactly where it turns from mocking his voice to a supposed “gay slur”. Britney doesn’t believe it. “I think Willie is a good person.” Of course, she runs upstairs and tells Willie he’s “screwed”. The entire story is repeated to Willie, and that Frank is supposedly turning the entire house against him.

Now we’re outside, and Willie is claiming to Frank that he’s been trying to save him all week. “Is that really true?”, Frank replies. “I’ve been begging everybody to keep you”, claims Willie. This silliness goes back and forth for quite some time, with Willie saying that all Frank had to do is shut up. “I have to protect myself. This is my game, Willie”. Finally, Willie stands up and screams that he wants everybody to vote Frank out.

Finally, Boogie can’t take it anymore and asks Willie “who died and left you boss?” Point to Boogie! “Why do you get to tell everybody what to do?” As he walks out, Boogie asks “are you all going to bullied by him?” Meanwhile, Britney looks ready to commit suicide.

Uh oh, before the commercials Julie promised a “big surprise” for the coaches. I’m scared.

After the break, it is time for Julie to talk to the house. She asks Jojo about the mood of the house. “I’ll be honest. A little weird; a little tension. I didn’t think it would be like this the first week so soon.” As a superfan, Julie wants to know from Ian if it has lived up to his expectations. He’s loved every second of it. Wil is then asked for one word to describe the past thirteen days – “goodness”. Ashley is asked the same question and replies “loosey goose”. Oh Lord. Willie says “crazy”, but Julie wants one word to describe his reign. As always, he goes off on a speech, but Julie presses him for one word. “Just extreme. Just pressure.” You idiot. Boogie is then asked if playing as a player or coach is harder, and he says it’s obviously the coaching role.

As they say on BBUK, it’s “crunch time”, and Frank gets to go first. He wants to stay, and promises to fight hard. “Nobody should let a bully dictate how they play this game, or how you vote. Bullying is not ok outside this house, or inside this house. If the coaches are telling you to get rid of me, think about what’s best for your game. But if they’re telling you to keep me, please listen to your coaches.”

Kara is up next, and she says she’s played an “honest” game (she hasn’t played ANY game), and she also reminds everybody to vote on what will be good for their individual game. She adds something about how a person on their team has made a deal with the person you’re trying to save. What does that even mean?

The voting now begins Daniele, who votes to evict Frank, as does Shane. Joe, though, votes to evict Kara, Ian. It’s now tied as we go to a break.

When voting resumes, Jojo votes to evict Frank. Jenn then votes to evict Kara, as does Wil. Ashley is the final vote, and her vote to evict Kara decides the contest! By a vote of 5-3, Kara is the second person evicted from Big Brother 14! Btw, CBS, take off the viewer tweets from my screen.

Once she finally leaves the house, Julie kicks off the interview by asking why she was evicted. She claims that people are scared of her coach, but overall she really doesn’t know. She claims that Dan was a great coach…the “best coach possible”. Julie then asks about Kara’s shyness, and whether it cost her. She now wishes she had gone against Dan’s wishes and talked more. The segment ends with taped goodbyes, and after Daneile’s typical indecipherable nonsense, we have to endure Joe’s idiot “you got the looks but you ain’t got the game!” Ugh. Shane says he’s sad to see her “long legs” go, and Dan ends by admitting he let her down. Oh, and Julie says that Hugh Hefner tweeted support for her.

It’s HOH competition time, but before we get to that, we are shown footage of the house being awakened multiple times last night by “BBTV Breaking News” of a cat burglar in the house. It’s a quiz game called “Big Brother Break-In”, and the questions are all about the videos they saw. Each question has a guilty or not guilty response, and the last one standing is the new HOH.

Everybody has the correct “guilty” answer on whether the burglar stole a carpet tile. The second question is about the number of bites of food in the storage room, and Shane is now out. The next question is about which leg he shaved, and all but Frank and Wil are out! They both answer not guilty to a hat question, and they’re both wrong. They also both guess correctly for the next question, but a question about gloves leads to a wrong answer from Wil. Frank is the next HOH!!! Willie is not happy, and immediately storms out of the backyard!

Before the show ends, we head back into the house, and Julie congratulates Frank. “It feels great to go from the hot seat to the guy who is going to be upstairs next week.” Boogie is asked about his feeling about his player winning, and he’s “super elated. My man was out the door 48 hours ago.” Ugh, he calls the HOH Chilltown North. Janelle is then asked to compare this past week to her first two appearances on the show, and she says it was like they played three weeks in one week. “Usually, everybody knows who is leaving. This time it was up in the air until the last minute.”

Julie then addresses the coaches, and says that the winner of the coach’s competition “has an even bigger decision to make”. The winner can either make one of their player’s safe, or choose to trade one of their players for another coach’s player. Ugh. Everybody is eligible to be traded except for the HOH.

And…scene. Were you  happy with tonight’s episode? Are you glad Frank was saved, and ultimately won HOH? How about this insipid “big” coach’s twist?

Big Brother #14, Episode 3 Recap

I almost forgot there was a Big Brother broadcast tonight, as the day my furniture was to be delivered has finally arrived! Yes, no more sitting on boxes watching on a tiny kitchen TV. I spent the last three hours re-hooking my surround sound stereo system when I noticed that we were only a few minutes away from the telecast. Oops!

It’s no secret what we’re going to see tonight. There will be a veto competition and a veto ceremony. That’s the important stuff, and will be fleshed out with plenty of scenes featuring Willie and Britney plotting and growing more paranoid by the minute. Oh yeah, some awful diary room lines from Joe, and it’s safe to say there will be more Ian silliness.

As always, the show commences with the reactions to the supposedly shocking nominations of Frank and Kara. Guess what? Neither are happy with these developments. “I’m completely blindsided”, says Frank, who had a side deal set up with Willie. Boogie says that while lying is a part of Big Brother, the one thing you don’t want to do is “lie to me”. Oh please.

Dan walks into the bedroom to console Kara, and admits he’s worried that he’ll be down to only one player. Dan promises to do everything he can to save her. “You know who your coach is, right? I’m not going to let that happen.”

Meanwhile, Wil, Britney, Willie, and Janelle are celebrating their big move. Janelle had noticed Boogie’s “Chilltown, population 2” shirt, and claims that it means him and Dan. “Boogie is like such a tool box…he thinks he’s the best player in this game and his ego is enormous.”

Boogie, though, is consoling Frank, saying that in the past the first girl nominated goes into a shell. “Let her cry.” He advises him to become friends with Willie, and not act mad at the nomination. “The biggest thing is to make the house feel comfortable.” Jenn, who was sitting in on the conversation, says that this will be helpful to when she is nominated.

Now Frank is talking to Willie, who admits that he believes Boogie is gunning for him. Frank is not happy with the coach’s influence on the players, as the game is supposedly theirs to win or lose. “I’m not worried about Boogie winning or losing.” Frank adds that he wants the two of them to go deep in the game. “Don’t worry about Boogie.”

The action moves upstairs, where Britney and Janelle are figuring out who should go home. “It’s a tossup.” Britney believes they have the ultimate influence in the house, and Janelle is also gloating. They’re both a bit sickening in their cockiness. “Cheers to a great first week.”

Dan and Boogie are also talking, and Boogie says that he thought Frank was going to be the last key. Dan states the obvious by saying “Team Blonde is actually a reality.” You think? Boogie points out in the diary room that the two men are the two winners in the house, and it would be embarrassing for either of them to leave before Janelle and Britney. “The girls are kind of the also-rans…I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

After a commercial break, its filler time as Ian has a stupid human trick. He is able to kick himself in the head. Yes, that’s his great party trick. Um, yeah. He thinks that doing silly stuff like this will keep him around.

With the shits and grins segment over, it’s time to pick players for the veto competition. Um, Dan, I think most people have seen the show before. We do know how vetos work. Willie pulls out Daniele’s name, which pleases Kara, who pulls out Shane’s name. Frank’s pick is Wil, and Boogie is pissed that “nothing is going my way”. Willie chooses JoJo to be the host.

Before we get to the competition, Kara pulls Shane into the have-not room to talk strategy. Too bad Shane is hoping for something different, as when “you’re alone you never know what can happen”. Oh, you silly tool. She wants to know if he’ll use the veto if he wins, and he is kind of non-committal.  Wait a second here. Did he just tell Kara that he doesn’t see her as a threat??? Nice work, shell boy!

Shane is next approached by Frank, and they both compliment on how awesome they both look. “You’re jacked, dude.” Yet, just like he said to Kara, he doesn’t want to piss off Willie if he does win the veto. Frank is a bit hopeful, though, and says that if he does win and use it that is a big indication of how they can trust each other.

Oh boy, Boogie is now on his way to the HOH room to talk to Britney. He wants to see just how tight her and Janelle are, and it’s a pretty tense chat. “Here it is day 6, and Mike Boogie finally decides to introduce himself”, Britney says in the diary room. Boogie lets her know that he thinks she has full control of Willie, which she denies, and says he’d love to see somebody like Joe replace Frank on the block. “Are Janelle’s people off limits”, he asks Britney, who obviously denies it. He lets her know that if Jenn ends up replacing Frank, he’ll know what the real story is here. Britney claims his “little tactics don’t rattle me. I thought he was supposed to be good at this game.”

As you may expect, Britney runs right to Janelle, who obviously isn’t surprised that Boogie tried to intimidate her. By the way, is Janelle on medication? Her voice is almost in slow motion. Britney is proud of herself that her “smear campaign” against Boogie seems to be working.

Britney leaves the room and is immediately replaced by Boogie, who now wants to go after Dan’s remaining players so there are just the three judges left with three players. Guess what Janelle’s reaction is to this conversation? Yeah, I’m tired of Janelle bitching about her big secret crush.

Oh Lord, now Janelle runs to Dan and narcs off Boogie. Yep, this stupid show is really going to be all about the judges. Here we have 11 new players, and we have yet to meet any of them except for Willie and Frank (to a lesser extent). The others have been extras in this dumb soap opera. I thought they were just advisors!

More filler after the break, as Jojo is frightening me with her Long Island accent. It’s time to just skip it.

But wait, now Jojo is in a tiny bikini as she announces it is time for the veto comp. They all head out to see a backyard of washing machines, laundry, and tons of soap suds. Jojo claims that she’s the perfect host because “where I come from, we know a thing or two about laundry”. What does that even mean?

So to win the veto, the players need to find $1.30. Coins are hidden in the suds, and as they find them they must throw them into the vending machine. The first to get exactly $1.30 wins!

Just like this past Sunday, Daniele gave some running commentary, but I can’t understand anything she says. Wil, Kara, Willie, and Daniele have problems tossing the coins into the slot, making this a competition between Shane and Frank. A pile of dollar coins is found by Frank, but he constantly misses. Finally Willie steals some of his stash, and all three are at $1.25 (I think). They’re all looking for a nickel coin, and Shane narrowly makes it ahead of Willie!

After yet another commercial break, Shane is seen celebrating with Willie, Britney, and Jojo. “My boys killed it”, says Jojo. “We’re definitely by far the strongest team.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it as they all proclaim themselves so unstoppable. Britney spills the beans to Shane about what Boogie earlier told her, and that he can’t use the veto. Shane claims in the diary room that he’s not so sure what he’s going to do.

Shane then heads into the have-not room to talk to Dan and shiny-knees Kara. Again, he states that while he wants to save Kara, he is still worried about pissing off Willie. A similar conversation is held with Frank. Why didn’t they just replay the earlier footage? It’s the same conversation! Oh wait, there is one difference, as Boogie also has a chat with Shane.

It’s the moment of truth, as Shane heads to the wall of keys and repeats the same garbage he has said at least three times earlier tonight. Frank and Kara also do a passable job at reading the standard pre-veto script. The crew is brought in, and Kara’s plea is that she’s “shy”. Hmmm, interesting. Frank just says if he’s pulled off the block “appreesh”. What???

After the requisite dramatic pause, Shane decides…to NOT use the veto. Yeah, what a shocker. He says he doesn’t want any “blood on his hands”, and they both promise to fight to get the votes needed to stay in the house. Oh yeah, and Dan says Boogie is “untrustworthy”.

So that’s it for tonight’s show. What did you think of the focus on the coaches? Would you like to see more of the noobs besides Willie and Frank? Where was Jenn and the others tonight? Who will go home? Let us know your thoughts!