Monday, September 19, 2016

The BB18 Finalists Got A White Board And You'll Never Guess What Happened Next!!!

In all the years I've watched Big Brother, there's never been a reason to watch the feeds after the second of three final HOH competitions. The game is over. They're waiting for finale night as anxiously as we are. They're also as bored as those of us at home.

This year is a bit different, though. It's kind of up in the air who is going to take who. Both Nicole and Paul have told James he's going with them to the finals, and at the same time they've promised the same to each other. Which are genuine? As I said on last Saturday's Big Brother Gossip Show, it seems to me that the Nicole/Paul conversations are more honest and forthcoming than the dismissive attitude they both have for James.

But at times when alone they both question themselves about which is the smarter move. Well, it is smarter for both of them to take James, but I for one would (shockingly) rather see Nicole make some money than worthless James.

Enough with those predictions. The reason for this quick post is due to something surprising that happened today. I mean truly surprising to viewers and the remaining contestants. It's the first "expect the unexpected" that actually lived up to the hype.

Here's what happened. At 4:19 pm Nicole came out of the diary room with a card to read to the other two. It said that Big Brother had a surprise for them. They were then shown a commercial for the upcoming online season, and then they were provided a white board to compose some "tips" for the new players.

To say the trio were not happy is an understatement. James in particular seemed to be pissed as it really does take away those few weeks of "stardom" they tend to revel in after the season is over. (And of course he volunteered to be on the new season.) Nicole was also bummed, and repeated "you're kidding me" over and over. She was hoping the surprise was a puppy.

Eventually, they divided the white board into three parts so that each could fill out a portion.

Here's what James wrote:

Captain Camo's Pointers
1. Don't be that guy/girl!
2. If a fight doesn't involve you, walk away!
3. Take in more information than you give out!
4. Find the cutest girl or guy and get in a showmance, but make sure they can win comps!
5. This game is a marathon not a sprint, slow your roll! Don't show your cards too early!
6. Start to study every event, days, and get to know your housemates! Be social but don't be annoying!
7. Wash your hands after using the bathroom! Big Brother will call you out! Ask Paul!
8. Short burst cardio is your best friend. Don't trust the quiet or loud guy/girl.
9. Good Luck! Make this summer your best!
10. Don't throw the comp that gets you evicted! But throw 75%

Paul's was (not surprisingly) a bit more blunt:

Paul's Friendship Tips
1. Drop your ego!
2. Have fun.
3. Be yourself...unless you suck.
4. Play your own game, you're not Derrick.
5. Fuck showmances!
6. Call people out. It's fun!
7. Always remember, Friendship!

And finally, Nicole's list (which is harder to read):

Nicole's Daily Reminders
1. Breathe
2. Be You! That's why you're here.
3. Make the best of crazy situations.
4. Feel free to trust your gut, head, and heart.
5. Play Big Brother and not Big Baby.
6. Have the time of your life!
7. Try not to fall in love.

Too bad that some of these folks didn't follow their own rules.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Big Brother Gossip #614: Season Finale

It's the end of a long, long season, and Scott, Colette, and Mike run down what happened over the last few days. They also predict what will happen on the upcoming CBS finale, and talk a bit about the unprecedented upcoming fall season.

As always, you can find this episode at these (and other) sites. Thanks to everybody who listened and/or patronized us throughout this season!


Saturday, September 10, 2016

Big Brother Gossip #613: Snake Charmer

We're FINALLY getting close to the end of the season. Who won HOH? Who was nominated? Who is going home? We answer all of those questions, and much, much more!


From 5 players to 1 winner—#BB18’s last 2 weeks

Four episodes air in the next six days, some at odd times! Here’s the schedule of events which gets us from the five game players still in the house today all the way to this season’s winner. TV episodes air on days shown in bold print.

Saturday, September 10, 2016: POV competition. (And our very own Big Brother Gossip Show, with Scott, Mike, and Colette, live at 10:00p Eastern. Go to to find out how to listen live or later.)

Sunday, September 11: The usual Sunday evening episode will show Corey’s HOH win in the slip-and-slide comp from this past Thursday night plus Corey putting Victor (his target) and Paul on the block.

In real life in the BB house, the POV meeting will take place this Sunday (a day earlier than usual). The dream scenario for the Big Brother fan who roots more for drama than for individual players is for James to be the POV winner and to save Victor. Corey would be forced to select his main squeeze Nicole as the replacement nom — and therein lies the drama. Victor obviously will vote to evict Nicole rather than his bromance Paul. Who would James evict in this scenario? One last bout of POV-induced chaos could help redeem the most recent third of a season which has been largely drama-free due to the prevalence of showmances/bromances.

Monday, September 12: An extended live feed blackout will begin for an early eviction vote (the first eviction of the week, taking us from five houseguests to four) and a Head of Household comp. (This is the eviction James didn't remember would be coming when he thought there'd be a double eviction last week.)

Tuesday, September 13: Special episode with Julie Chen hosting (not live, but taped using that format) will air on CBS in the early prime time slot (8:00/7:00p) to show Monday’s eviction and comp. They’ll also tape the POV comp. The live feed blackout might end after this show airs. (It did last year.)

Wednesday, September 14: Special live Wednesday eviction episode will air on CBS (again in the early 8:00/7:00p slot). We’ll see the POV comp, the eviction (taking us from four houseguests to the final three), and probably the start of part one of the three-part final HOH comp. The extended live feed blackout which started Monday will definitely end after the episode airs (if CBS was mean and kept it dark an extra day).

Thursday, September 15: CBS will air Thursday Night Football, so there's no Big Brother episode.

Friday, September 16: There will be a special Friday episode (at 8:00/7:00p) to show us part one of the final HOH comp, a special dinner for the final three houseguests plus “season in review” filler, and the beginning of part two of the HOH comp.

Saturday, September 17: Our own Big Brother Gossip Show airs live at 10:00p Eastern. (Check out for more info.)

Sunday, September 18: No #BB18 TV episode! CBS prefers to put throwaway programming up against NBC’s Sunday Night Football this week.

Wednesday, September 21 at 9:30/8:30p: Big Brother 18’s 90-minute season finale airs live! We will see part two of the HOH comp (with the winner of part one sitting out). Then the winners of the first two parts will compete live in part three to become HOH – obviously important because the winner gets to evict one of the other two remaining houseguests (keeping the one s/he thinks s/he’s more likely to beat in the juror vote). Jurors will be there for (useless) questioning by Julie before they vote to crown this year’s game winner.

And, while we’re listing dates, here's what we know for Big Brother Over the Top.

Wednesday, September 28 at 10:00p Eastern/7:00p Pacific: #BB18 is over, but Big Brother Over the Top – #BBOTT, CBS’s new fall edition which will be available only to CBS All Access subscribers – premieres online.

Wednesday, October 5: CBS has said that #BBOTT live eviction shows hosted by Julie Chen will air Wednesdays, so I’m guessing this will be the first.

So there we go. Who do you think will win POV this week? Do you think there's any chance Nicole will be evicted – or James, since if Paul or Victor wins POV, Corey would of course nom James rather than Nicole? Who do you want to see in the final three? Comment below or find me @uselesstraffic.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Big Brother Season 18, Episode 35 Recap

CBS is getting lazy with their production/editing of these episodes, so I'm going to be just as lazy. This is all that happened tonight:

1. Egg/chicken wire HOH comp, with cut-ins back to Michelle finding out she was the target before the eviction episode started. Lots of cheesy sound effects, and ear-piercing commentary from Nicole. Victor wins.

2. A short segment on Michelle stealing Pablo.

3. Nicole's from a small town. Hilarity ensues.

4. Natalie and James realize they made a mistake making a final 4 with Nicole and Corey.

5. Corey sleep-talks.

6. James telling Natalie she doesn't have to like him. She says he's nuts, although they're now sleeping in separate beds.

7. More Corey sleep-talks.

8. Nicole kind of whining to Corey that he shouldn't have gone for the have-not safety.

9. James unsuccessfully pleading with Victor and Paul to keep Natalie off the block. He leaves when Nicole and Corey show up, and they report to the two what James said.

10. James relays to Natalie that his pleas didn't work.

11. Nominations of James and Natalie. The usual diary room blather as the show ends.

See? This was a nothing episode. You're better off listening to last night's Big Brother Gossip Show.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Big Brother Gossip #612: James' Last Rodeo?

It appears to be curtains for the wannabe America's Favorite Player and/or his girlfriend. Tonight's show covers what happened over the course of the last week, including silly allegations that a cast member is a thief! There's also some chatter about drones (and not just the drones that are this year's cast), Thursday's filler-enhanced broadcast, and the wacky deluded beliefs of both of the remaining vets!

You can grab this episode from the usual online spots:




Thursday, September 1, 2016

Big Brother Season 18, Episode 34 Recap

Tonight marks the end of a frustrating week for Big Brother fans. This was a week where NOTHING happened. Nobody “fought for their life”. Nobody made a bold move. The intended target, and their friends, is oblivious to their danger. The worst aspect of the week, besides Nicole’s voice, is that everybody slept all damn week.

This causes some questions for tonight’s broadcast. How will they fill a complete hour? I know there will be some footage that is shown to make viewers think the outcome is up in the air, and we’re going to have to endure the forced ending to Corey’s America’s Care Package bribe. But we won’t see jury footage as it’s the same four people as last week, and as mentioned before nothing happened all week.

I’m guessing it will be one of my biggest nightmares - family segments. Even worse, segments on one or both showmances. Despite the fact that Natalie will immediately bounce far away from James after the season, or that Corey will be so happy to get rid of his shadow, I fully expect to have to endure their families fibbing about how cute they look together. Gross.

So let’s get started with Julie trying her hardest to add some personality to her scripts (and calling Nicole the most powerful player in the house?), along with boring commentary regarding Nicole not using the POV. It’s hilarious how Chen is making it sound like Nicole has this great decision to make as the tie-breaker. It’s a decision made days ago!

Michelle runs down the votes, and Paul says that if Nicole was working with those folks Victor would have been put up as a replacement for Michelle. Then we get the first phony hype for the 5k as Corey mumbles about how he now has to make this difficult decision to “make sure Michelle goes home”. Come on.

Nicole and Victor celebrate in the bathroom, and she asks Victor if he was scared she was going to put him up. He says no, and then she repeats that same thought process in the diary room. Victor says he “now trusts Nicole 100%”.

In the bedroom, Paul and Michelle are lying around. He mentions that no matter what happens one of the “craziest people” in the house is going home. She asks Paul if he knows what’s happening, and he lies that he doesn’t. Natalie joins them, and he agains says he has no idea. Natalie asks if Victor knows, and Paul says he hasn’t been told (another lie). Michelle does echo my belief that Nicole is “the most boring HOH ever”, but she’s wrong in asserting that Nicole should be coming to them. No, dear, you should have been up her ass in the HOH room all week. “They’re literally cowards.” Come on.

James then comes in the room, and Michelle asks Paul how many times he’s been on the block. James tells Paul that no matter what, they’re not going to “send little Meech home”. “Thanks James, Mr. Captain Obvious”, replies Paul in the diary room. “I’m pretty sure I’m staying this week.”

It’s time for some filler, but at least this time it’s entertaining. Victor is putting on a talk show, and asks Paul what he’s going to do with his bribe. Now we again hear how Corey “must use his care package wisely”. James hints that he wants the cash, and offers to drop out of the next HOH comp. Victor can’t believe he’d do that, but James is not kidding. Corey says he’s “a little sketched out”. He adds that maybe he won’t even use the bribe.

This is completely untrue, though, as production has been bugging him about it all week. He heads upstairs and wakes up Nicole to tell her that James was begging for the money. She says that’s “not a smart move on his part. That’s shade.” Corey thinks James is too smart to give up a comp win for that money. Nicole gets paranoid then, and thinks maybe that means Victor is going to vote against Paul. Oh please. “It makes me think there’s something more that we don’t know.”

Nicole is always paranoid, as we see in the next scene. Michelle heads into the bathroom, and Victor just happens to stroll that way a bit later. What a dummy. Production then is heard telling Michelle to put on her microphone, and Nicole is coming unglued. “I just don’t know what to do.” As Bob Dylan once sang, “you’re an idiot, babe”.

To make this segment even longer, the lovebirds are now laying on the hammock outside, and Nicole is still convinced that Victor has moved to the side of James and Natalie. She tries to justify this in her whiny diary room monologue, but in any other week this garbage wouldn’t even make it to air. But it allows Corey to make production happy, as they decide to give Victor that money to ensure he votes to evict Michelle. “I hope that’s enough to make him change his mind? If he doesn’t, we’re screwed.”

Back upstairs, Nicole is staring at the TV monitor when Corey comes in to make the (not so) big decision. “If that’s what you want to do, I support you.” He’s about to grab Victor, but Nicole is having second thoughts. Finally, he goes to get Victor.

Downstairs, the other three are doing what they do best. Yep, they’re laying around. Victor and Paul are in the HOH, so Natalie tells James to go investigate. So of course he doesn’t. Corey walks in and offers the bribe to Victor, who accepts. In fact, the two boys are touched by the “friendship”. Ugh. Thankfully, the worst Care Package gimmick in history is officially over. Stupid James still thinks Michelle is 99.9% safe as the other four celebrate.

After commercials, Julie surprises the house by, not a double eviction as stupid James believed. But since it’s the 79th day in the house, they get to watch videos of their families. Yes, it’s a nice little segment, but boring. Paul, of all people, is bawling.

Wait, more filler!!! Come on. I like Victor, but I don’t care about these stupid family segments. Go ahead, call me heartless.

The show is at the 35 minute mark, and we finally have true gameplay. It’s eviction time, and Paul gets the first final plea. He talks about friendship, of course, unless he’s voted. “Big Meech, they took a swing at the two craziest people in the house this week and unfortunately one of us must go. We might as well end this with the final kiss of death.” “I’m down”, she says. She stands, and they kissed. “That was better than the last Paul.” (It was planned earlier today.)

Michelle then says she’s had an awesome time “getting to know each and every one of you. Just kidding. That’s not a Meech speech. I like to go on with my speeches, so for one thing I can threaten you guys. What I’m going to threaten you guys with is that if you evict me I’m going to start uncontrollably bawling. You guys are going to send me out to Julie and the audience, and they’re going to have to deal with me...and if you guys keep me, I’ll be going after this kid right here (Victor) because he has been evicted twice. If you decide to evict me, these two (Victor and Paul) are going to go all the way to the top. There’s no stopping them. They’re mental and physical threats combined in each person. If you guys want a chance to get to the final two, pick me.” (Stupid Nicole’s stunned face was priceless.)

Victor starts the voting, and of course votes to evict Michelle. Natalie votes to evict Paul. Corey, of course, votes against Michelle, and James goes against Paul. Yep, Nicole (as expected) has to break the tie. She pretends to be in sheer terror (she isn’t), and says both are great. “Strategically, sorry Michelle I have to vote to evict you”.

Michelle hugs all, and calls Nicole a name. She yells back at her, and Michelle babbles that “she’s floating her way to the final two”. I do like this! Why couldn’t that be the full-time Michelle???

Before the interview with Julie, Nicole was yelling at James that this is why she had to be evicted. Julie asks if it was a mistake to keep Paul, and she says yep. Obviously. Michelle also claims that she was so reassured that she was safe that she did nothing to ensure her place. Then Julie asks about calling Nicole the “most boringest HOH ever”. Which I wholeheartedly agree. Michelle answers that “she didn’t talk game to anyone...she just sat in her room all week”. Well...not quite true. Julie reminds her that she hadn’t talked game either, but apparently in the “last two hours” she had. She just can’t believe that people would keep Paul over her.

Michelle isn’t excited about the idea of watching the goodbye messages, but Paul and Victor were pretty nice to her. Michelle starts crying during James’ message, but they dry up when Nicole whines that “as a superfan” she should understand what Nicole was doing. After it’s over, Michelle asks if she can see Natalie’s goodbye. Ha! Julie asks why she’s crying, and she just says “it sucks”. Julie tries to get rid of her, but Michelle takes over and tells the audience they’re lucky to be there as she has tried to get tickets in the past.

With that all over, it’s time for the HOH competition. It’s the return of the egg competition, where they have to transfer eggs via chicken wire up and and across to where they can grab it. It then must be rolled down to hit the three targets. The first to get all three down, and there’s a special hole to not be a have-not. Oh yeah, there are "hawks" that will try to grab their eggs...or at least knock them down.

So this obviously won’t be finished for a bit, so excuse me while I turn the feeds on. Did you enjoy tonight’s episode? What did you think of their families? Or Michelle’s speech? Talk, people, talk!!!