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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Big Brother Season 18, Episode 33 Recap

Yes, I missed another episode. Look, the only thing worse than last week’s massacre of the English language by Natalie is this week’s nasal whine from Nicole. With her winning this week’s HOH, I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with it this past Sunday night.

But I’m with you this evening for an episode that quite honestly won’t be real exciting. There’s a POV competition, obviously, but otherwise little happened over the course of the time frame of this show. Be warned, as that probably means a lot of filler of either bad pranks by James or ooooey-gooey baby-love-talk from Nicole. (I just threw up in my mouth.)

So let’s start off with the reactions to the nominations of Michelle and Paul. Immediately after the ceremony, Michelle says “I’m proud that I didn’t cry. This ain’t my first rodeo.” Little victories, I guess. Nicole babbles about how putting out Michelle doesn’t put much blood on her hands (worse cliche ever), and she put Paul up partly because she doesn’t want Natalie and James to figure out she’s working with Victor and Paul. (They don’t.)

Michelle then hugs Nicole and thanks her for not being mean in her speech. She says she’s just going to be quiet this week so she’s not a bigger target. Paul says it’s his “fifth rodeo”, but this time it’s all part of the plan. He tells Nicole he respects her, and for some reason she replies that her pits are sweating.

In the have-not room, James tells Michelle that “Paul is our target”. You dummy. He really does believe that they’re going to send Paul home this week. In fact, we’re shown a few hours before nominations when Nicole lies about this very subject.

Upstairs, Nicole whines that Natalie “didn’t even say one word to me”. They then talk about Corey’s stupid bribe prize. Paul then joins them, and Nicole believes that the others have figured out their plan. (They haven’t.) Seeing Michelle and James talk means they’re plotting, you. (It doesn’t.) Their only downfall this week could come if Michelle wins POV.

Here’s a worthless point of the weekend. The have-not food for this week is squid and seaweed. Previous weeks have been actual treats, so Corey and Victor are truly pissed. Paul then chases Natalie with a squid. 

POV meeting is next. Everybody but Natalie plays. That’s all that’s needed here, no matter how many diary room quotes they toss in.

James, Natalie, and Michelle are chatting, and Michelle has started to figure out that she is the target. James doesn’t care, though, as he really likes his sandwich. She not only noticed that Paul picked Corey to play in POV, but the two boys have been hanging out with Nicole and Corey all weekend. James really has no clue as to what’s happening in the house. 

At the same time, everybody else is celebrating upstairs. Nicole wonders if they looked “super sketch” when Paul picked Corey. They again go through all the best and worst case scenarios. We get it, Nicole. “But it’s kiiiiiind of scarrrrrrrrry forrrrrrrrrr meeeee.” Ugh.

After the first set of adverts, it’s POV time. It’s a Christmas-themed version of the counting competition from previous season. Every round features a question of the number of a specific item, and after writing their guess they get to hold or fold their answer. 

Unfortunately, this POV is marred by some truly horrendous scripted diary room segment. I’m talking about even worse than in previous episodes. And when it’s not that garbage it’s Paul and Nicole once again babbling the same hopes and fears of the competition. Corey is easily the worst at this, by the way.

In the first round, Paul and Corey folds. Victor is eliminated, and James and Nicole win a point. Only James and Nicole stay in the second round, and Nicole is closer. James is eliminated. Thank God!!! For round three, Corey decides to write a huge, incorrect response to ensure that Nicole wins the round. He does so by guessing one billion, and stupid Nicole doesn’t get what he was trying to do. Paul folds in this round, but Michelle is the closest. Corey is out, and Michelle is one point behind Nicole (who finally gets what Corey did). 

After a set of commercials, we have a round featuring Paul, Michelle, and Nicole. Yes, the HOH and her nominees. “Oh my gosh, I legitimately feel like I’m going to crap myself right now.” Paul folds, and Nicole’s answer is closer than Michelle’s. Yep, she’s the POV winner. Michelle still believes Paul is the real target, and of course she’s wrong.

Back upstairs, Nicole is really proud of herself. She does admit that she didn’t get what Corey was doing at first. We know, Nicole. Victor joins them, and they continue to celebrate. Paranoid Nicole is still worried that the two boys may screw them over, and when Victor heads downstairs to get Paul she babbles that maybe they should take a big swing. (It’s not legit. Nicole even said that she was just giving the show footage.) “To be the best you have to take out the best.” Oh please, Nicole. 

Ugh, I just looked at the clock and there’s still twenty minutes in this broadcast. Le sigh. Victor heads into the bedroom and barely says a word to Natalie and James. She says you can just read his face, and James finally admits he’s a bit paranoid about the boys hanging out with them. James is still convinced that Nicole would never go against their final four deal. Well, wake up (and he refuses to wake up about this all week.) He really, really wants a battle of the showmances. Please excuse me as I gag a bit.

Goofy music comes on, which obviously means we have some filler as Paul and Victor complain about the lack of female company. Zzzzzzz Then there’s more filler garbage about Michelle obstructing her microphone while sleeping. Natalie walks in and she continues to whine about “the fakeness of these people. Nicole plays this innocent, nice girl act, but she’s never been openly nice to me.” She also complains about Victor, and also how ugly she is before she breaks into loud, open sobbing. America, that’s this season’s superfan!!!

Paul is then upstairs with Nicole, and is fine with staying on the block. He tells her that he’s going to act bummed all week. He does throw out some other possible ideas that do include pulling him down. “This is me as in strategy for next week.” it’s also to create some footage so that Nicole can whine about not trusting him in another diary room segment. 

With that silliness over, it’s time for the POV meeting. Despite various comments by Nicole and others, there’s no change in the nominees, and unless something drastic happens by tomorrow night Michelle is definitely history. (And btw, look at what this bitch is wearing during the meeting.)

That’s it. Remember, kids, I suffer for your entertainment, and tonight there was a ton of suffering. What did you think? Who has the worst voice - Natalie or Nicole? Who is the worst at phony diary room enthusiasm - Victor or Paul? And is there anybody with less self-awareness than James? Let me know what you think!!!

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Big Brother Gossip Show #611: Frickin' Bullcrap

Frickin' Nicole won via a bullcrap move by James. Literally, he literally dropped to let her frickin' win. We literally talk about this and so much more on tonight's show. In fact, there's some fabulous clips of James showing the insecure side of his personality to Natalie. Plus, Nicole and Corey get into a minor tiff over the rules regarding Corey's inexplicable America's Care Package>

While not as annoying as Natalie's constant whine last week, this was another tough week of gathering clips from the live feeds. Have you ever tried to sit through a Nicole conversation? Yeah, it's not easy, but Scott, Mike, and Colette suffer for your entertainment.

If you like what we do, please consider donating to our Patreon site. Or grab this episode from the usual online spots:




Thursday, August 25, 2016

Big Brother Season 18, Episode 31 Recap

Before we begin tonight’s broadcast, I owe you folks a bit of an apology for not recapping the last couple of episodes. I needed a break, especially after spending all of Saturday putting together a megamix of Natalie. I never need to hear the phrase “my HOH” ever again, and both episodes this week included plenty of that insanity. Plus, somehow CBS is copying my Big Brother Gossip Show outlines these days, so you can just get an audio recap by downloading last week’s show.

One other note before the show starts. The feeds were extremely boring this week. Nothing happened. I mean absolutely nothing. Then a couple of hours before this broadcast begin, there was finally some excitement. Last night, Victor and Paul hatched a scheme to hopefully save Victor, and as the feeds went down it looked like there very well may be a true blindside. If it does happen, it’s the most ingenious game move in years. And if it is successful, I’m officially going to root for either of those two to win this season. Who would have ever believed I’d say that even just a couple of weeks ago? This all happened so close to showtime that little of it likely to be shown. If it is, give the editors some kudos.

We’ll find out soon enough, as we begin the proceedings with the reactions to Paul predictably using the POV on himself. Victor says he’s trying to feel optimistic, and he knows that he has to work on James. The scene then moves outside where James asks Corey how he’s going to remain in the house. “The same as last week.” Yep, just lay around with Nicole. James says it’s “tough” to actually have to make a game decision. Paul looks out the window and sees the four of them talking. “I don’t like the way (they’re) talking.” He wants to know why “they’re kumbayah-ing in the backyard”.

Victor then walks outside to put his clothes in the dryer in order to break up the conversation. When he walks back in, he tells Paul that the conversation definitely changed when he came out. “If it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go but I’m going to fight.”

Victor and Paul know they have to figure something out. Victor is going to make a last pitch. Paul suddenly decides to become buddy-buddy with Nicole and Corey to create enough distrust and paranoia to make James change his mind. It’s a brilliant Hail Mary.

Part one of the plan is for Paul to spend as much time with the pair, and make sure that Michelle, Natalie and James notice. It seems to be perfectly working. Victor then heads up to the HOH, and they all say it’s “really weird” that Paul is hanging out with them. Victor claims that Paul has been ignoring him the last couple of days. He’s “pissed” that Paul is playing both sides. Michelle and Natalie are eating it all up, and tell Victor that Paul has said nothing to them about saving him. Victor points out that the three of them will be the new targets if Paul is aligned with them. James now thinks he could be a good weapon to get out Paul. “I can forgive but not forget. I can use that line one more time.”

Oh my, now we get some jury house footage. The three jury members are preparing dinner, and having a great time (to Day’s surprise). They wonder who is running the house, and Bridgette says she hopes she helped change the house’s mind about Paulie.

The car then pulls up. Zakiiyah wants to give him “a piece of my mind”, and Day wants some popcorn. Paulie walks in to cheers from the three girls. Bridgette says him coming in to the jury has made her day. “Hey, I make a lot of people’s day”, he responds. Ugh. Zakiyah claims she doesn’t want to be around Paulie, but she’s glad he was evicted. Paulie doesn’t help himself by claiming this was a “season of catty and petty women”. Double ugh.

They then watch the video from the week, and Paulie explains how he didn’t think he needed to win that HOH because “we had won everything”. Day is truly loving every second. “Class class class”, says Paulie. The girls are continuing to laugh while Paulie complains about “sore losers”. Triple ugh. Day says she’s excited because the remaining people are those she wants to see win. Bridgette adds that she has lost all respect of Paulie, and he calls her close-minded. Quadruple ugh. Bridgette says she’s not against all men. She’s against him. Paulie again babbles about catty women.

The eviction is shown, and the three girls click their coffee mugs. Bridgette continues to go in on Paulie as a cocky asshole. He claims they don’t respect the game if they don’t respect who played it the best. What’s the word for five ughs? Zakiyah then adds if he was playing her. Paulie says they should just “let bygones be bygones”, and complains that she “played the victim”. She even calls him a bitch! YES!!! They then go back and forth a bit more. “Do not play me”, she yells. “Resort to name calling”, he says. “You’re a classy girl.” Bwahahaha!

It’s now time for the eviction. Victor gets the first final “brief statement”. Paulie got a long statement last week. He talks about his loyalty to his friends. Corey mumbles, but I can never hear anything he says.

Voting then begins with Nicole, who obviously wants to save Corey. Paul is next, and he votes to evict Corey. What will James do to break the tie???? He votes to evict...Victor??? Oh for fuck’s sake. So much for today’s potential blindside fun.

There’s a ton of loud hugs before Victor leaves the house for the second time. Julie begins the interview by asking about their last-second plan. He thinks he was booted because he’s a stronger competitor than Corey. She then asks about how the plan changed last week to get out Paulie. He says he was “honoring the guys as much as I could”. When he heard that Paulie had another alliance, he just had to go after him.

He also thinks he did a better job aligning himself this time around. He was the brawn, and Paul was the brain. He hopes that Paul wins the HOH and America’s Care Package, and also hopes that James is the next person evicted. The goodbye messages then start with Michelle saying she wanted Paul evicted instead of him. James says he’s “really sorry”, and it was a “game move”. Paul says he was excited to have him back, and he’ll miss having him around. Natalie also says that her target was Paul. Julie then informs him that he gets one more chance to go back in the house. He is shocked.

We still have over 20 minutes left in the show, which means we will actually see the beginning of a HOH competition for what seems like the first time this season. It starts with us going back to the jury house, and Paulie babbling and babbling. Unfortunately, now they’ve all made up. “I have been out of the way of Paulie, and Paulie has been out of the way of me”, says Zakiyah. Paulie says that he hasn’t had a chance to talk to Zakiyah, but he has to “respect” her opinion. Wait, Paulie is going to respect a woman???

The doorbell then rings, and Day brings in a package from Big Brother. Day reads the card, which says a jury member will be returning to the house. Bridgette then asks who will be the final jury member, and they hope that it’s not Victor. Paulie says it doesn’t matter. You have to beat the best anyway. Oh please. “I want to succeed more than I want to breath, and I think that statement there sums up exactly how I feel about the opportunity to get back in the Big Brother house.” Day rolls her eyes as he continues to talk about heading right back into the HOH. “When it’s game time, your boy turns up.” Die, please. Die.

Everybody is then shown on stage, and Victor is then brought out to join them. Julie explains once again that one of them has a chance to win again, and then the house is told to gather in the living room. She then explains that besides an endurance competition there’s another returning jury member. Stupid James was convinced this could not happen. Ha! Plus, if the winning jury members outlasts everybody they’re the new HOH. The jury is then let back into the house to screams and hugs.

After the adverts, it’s time for the endurance HOH to begin! As expected, it’s that “standing on the wall” competition that they tend to do every year at this time. This year it’s called “Welcome to Loch Ness”. After instructions, the comp begins before one last commercial break. On that last glimpse, the conditions become a bit more intense as the “monster” begins spraying them to go along with the wall moving back and forth.

So what did you think? Are you as mad as I am that the blindside didn’t happen? Are you tired of Paulie? Who do you want to see go back into the house and/or win HOH? Tell me!

Monday, August 22, 2016

James and Nicole discuss giving each other money.

Here is a quick recap of some chatter that James and Nicole got called out for early Monday morning.  This isn't the first time this has happened on Big Brother and I'm sure it will happen again, but frankly we now know that if James or Nicole is in the final two, they likely have 3 votes for sure (from Corey, Natalie and whichever isn't in the final) since they talked of sharing their winnings.

You can see all these things for yourself using the flashback feature of the Big Brother Live Feeds.

Sunday 1:08pm Nicole and James both say they'd give each other gifts or $$ or plane tickets if they won... referred to it at one point as a 'care package' - the sum of $10,000 was also mentioned.

Monday 1:42am James tells Natalie that "Nicole said..... I'm not using this as strategy but me and Nicole agreed that if we both win everyone in our four group's (meaning James Nicole Natalie and Corey) gonna be gettin a little care package...."  Nat asks what he said he starts to repeat and it cuts to fish.

Monday 3:49am Nicole comes to HoH from DR and tells James in front of Natalie, Michelle, Victor and Paul that she has to say she won't buy him anything.  She leaves - the others start to discuss and again it cuts to fish.  When feeds return James is in the DR.

Monday 3:55am James comes back from DR and says he can't buy anyone anything - says Nicole was talking about buying stuff for everyone - which is not accurate because she said she'd get stuff for James, Corey and Natalie - not 'everyone.'

Again, right or wrong, some version of this happens almost every year so its not new.  I just find it interesting, and to me it 'taints' the game.  No real penalty seems to have been put on Nicole and Jame and Nicole even acted like a scolded child forced to make a halfhearted apology.

In other news the POV was used today and Paul is now safe and Corey is nominated in his place.  I'd bet on Victor getting voted out on Thursday but Victor fans should remember that if evicted he will have a shot to return in a competition vs the other Jury members.  Last season it was an endurance competition that saw Johnny Mac win his way back into the house and Vanessa win the HoH part of the competition.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Big Brother Gossip #610: Nat's Dark Magic

The sacrifices we make for the sake of this show. This past Friday morning, Colette Lala woke up at an ungodly early hour. The feeds were lively, however, so instead of trying to fall asleep she kept her Roku on. Within the next hour, this sweet, lovely Big Brother Gossip co-host was transformed into a wicked harlot who routinely sacrifices virgins in her living room.

What caused this transformation? Natalie's evil dark magic that she unleashed after her unexpected HOH victory. During the course of an hour, this high-kicking, squealing twit's constant refrain about her competition win was enough to put a spell on anybody. In fact, it turned Scott into an even crankier douchebag after sitting through the clips that Colette requested be turned into a megamix for the show.

So we're alerting you to be careful when you get to that segment of the show. If you can make it through those four minutes, you're sure to be entertained by Nicole's slithering snake antics, Paul's confrontations, and everything else that this goofy cast did the last few days.

Grab this episode from the usual online spots:




Thursday, August 18, 2016

Big Brother Season 18, Episode 27 Recap

Ending a fun week of Big Brother is the hopeful departure of an egomaniac who believes he was “bred” to compete on this show. An egomaniac who doesn’t believe he should have to endure heading to jury. An egomaniac who spent the entire week campaigning by saying he would never campaign against his friend.

Yes, I’m talking about Paulie Calafiore, one of my least-favorite Big Brother contestants of all time. The weeks where he and his crew were in charge of the house were some of the most unwatchable weeks ever, which is why his downfall this week has been so enjoyable.

Of course, we’re still not safe. It’s quite possible that his constant pleas finally created a last second change of heart (doubtful). There’s a good chance that he has the “return ticket” that lets him come right back into the house (oh please no). If he doesn’t, it’s also likely there will be some other sort of competition to bring back a jury member.

Let’s sit back and watch the tears flow once again. The POV ceremony has just concluded, and Victor is so happy he can scream. And he does. Corey mumbles something, but I still can’t understand what he’s saying. Paulie claims he’s not going to campaign against Corey, but we all know better. “There’s really nothing I can do.”

Paul walks into the bedroom and fist-pumps James. “I didn’t even give him a hug”, says James. Victor joins them, and asks if he gave good stuff. Natalie joins them with all smiles. Paul says that he has to go for his own “behaviour in the house, for his own mental health, and for the sanctity of our health.”

That won’t stop Paulie, though. He chats with James outside, starting by saying he’s not going to campaign. “I’m not what’s best for everybody’s game. I took a big sacrifice to come here.” The tears come out as he looks at a butterfly. Oh please. James is a big teddy bear, though, and “even Paulie deserves some sympathy”.

The Zingbot voice then comes on, which means that Paulie is supposed to go make a pie. He says he’s not going to do that, which makes even Nicole complain. The zinger continues on, and Paulie starts jogging in the backyard. Michelle is happy, because maybe she’s “not the biggest baby in the house”.

He finally heads into the house, and Corey tries to talk him into following the rules. “I can’t sit here and watch you do this all week”, he says. Again, the tears come out. “Ok, we got screwed”, says Corey. “Didn’t turn out the way we wanted.” The sad piano music comes up, and Corey says he doesn’t want him to break his heart. Oh please. “It’s ok to have emotions about it. Your parents are watching right now. They’re saying stay strong. Cody is sitting there saying don’t be soft.” Paulie (supposedly) has a change of heart, and gets to making his pie. “I’ve got to get my mind back in the game.”

Cody then has a chat with Natalie. If he can get to her, maybe he can stay. She says her “heart hurt a lot” with the things he said last week, and Paulie says “I get it”. He claims he focused the hurt he saw on Zakiyah on her, but Natalie knows this is just for strategy. The fake tears come out again.

Paulie now moves on to Paul. “Are you convinced that everybody wants you gone?”, asks Paul. “Come on, bro”, replies Paulie. “I’m here.” Paulie only needs three votes to stay, and the fake tears may end up saving him. He tries to get Paul to give him a sympathy vote, and again says he won’t campaign against Corey. Paul did give Victor a sympathy vote in the second week, so he may do that again as he doesn’t break the rule of “friendship”. Don’t do it!!!

Once again, he works on James. He says if he can get his and Natalie’s votes, he can swing it. He’s waving his flag as he does it (part of his task), and James begins giggling. Paulie says he can be used to take out Paul, and James says “it sounds good”. James claims that he doesn’t know what to do. (Bullshit.)

Finally, he sits with Paul, James, and Natalie. “It’s the only chance your boy’s got and I’m going to do it.” James babbles that it’s all Natalie’s decision, and Paulie says he’ll do whatever they want him to do. He’s going to do a “lay on a grenade type thing” the following week if they see him, and he’ll never screw them over. Yeah, right.

It’s now time for me to take a poop, as Brendon and Rachel are on my TV. Seriously, why? I don’t care that they had a baby. Good for them.

But I will gladly watch this next bit of filler. We’re heading to the jury house!!!! This could be popcorn-worthy. Day is hanging out all alone, and her biggest regret is that once again she didn’t know how “to keep my mouth closed”. The limo then shows up, and as we know it’s Zakiyah. Day had hoped it would be Paulie or Nicole, though, so she yells “nooooooo” when Zakiyah walks in. Of course, Zakiyah doesn’t know what she would have done differently. Exactly. You had no game play. Zakiyah explains that it was her connection to Paulie that caused her downfall. They watch the week’s highlights, and both agree that it was “very sketch” when Paulie dropped right after Zakiyah. Day really has a side eye when she discovers that Paulie had won the week’s veto but didn’t use it on her. “If that ain’t a damned wake up call, I don’t know what is.” Day knew he was shady. James was also a bit shady in their eyes.

The next limo shows up, and they hope it’s not Michelle. Instead, it’s Bridgette (as we knew). She’s happy that she “blew the house up before I left”, and they then watch the highlights of the week. They’re shocked that Corey actually won something, and Day mentions how they all actually wanted the same people out. Bridgette explains how Michelle thought she was heading out, and they all cheer at her outburst. “She’s playing a little dirty, but she’s playing it”, says Day. Bridgette really hopes that she blew Paulie’s game up (as do we).

It’s finally eviction time. After Julie announces that tonight is the last night that the ticket twist exists, Paulie gives the first speech. Ugh, he sucks. He just plays up to the family and friends, and then goes down the line to say good things about each of them. Why is he being allowed to go so long??? He finally grabs Michelle, and she almost gives a crotch shot as he kisses her. Corey then just mumbles as he always does, ending by calling Nicole the “sweetest, cuddliest, most harmless snake I’ve ever met”.

Voting then begins with Michelle, who votes to evict Paulie, as does Paulie, James, Natalie, and Nicole. It’s unanimous. Paulie is out the door. They’re all hugs as Paulie heads out the door. He lifts Julie off the ground, and I wish security had tackled him at that point.

The cameras are turned back on in the house as Julie opens his envelope. It’s not the return ticket!!!! Yes!!!! Yes!!!! I refuse to listen to her questioning of Paulie. Let’s just get to the HOH competition. Seriously, I can’t deal with his arrogance.

Instead of a competition, though, we get to find out who had the round trip ticket. They extend this as long as possible by having each of them open them individually. It’s actually Paul who has it! That makes sense, as he was the first one who got into the tunnel.

Wait, there’s no HOH competition tonight!!! What the hell??? After one final commercial break, Julie talks about tomorrow’s filler episode, which also includes the beginning of the next HOH competition. Julie also announces that the first five jury members will compete to come back to the house. Oh no. We may not have seen teh last of Paulie.

So what did you think? Are you happy Paulie’s gone? Are you excited to see the reaction he’ll get in the jury house from Day and Zakiyah? Are you mad that we no longer seem to have HOH competition to close the show? Talk, people!!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Big Brother Season 18, Episode 26 Recap

Tonight is going to be fun. Besides the fact that Victor and Paul completely outmaneuvered Paulie on our previous episode, tonight we have the return of the Zingbot. Sometimes that’s not such great news, but these clowns have provided plenty of potential gags for the old gimmick.

The show starts where Sunday left off, and the “shocking” nominations of Paulie and Corey. Nicole remarks to Corey that Michelle is “smirking. She was laughing, I think.” Oh shut up, Nicole. Victor says in the diary room that he’s been doing Paulie’s “dirty work” for way too long. He walks up to Corey and says “it’s a game”. Corey babbles something but he’s too dull to understand.

Paulie heads into the bathroom. We also see him crying in the diary room. He says that while people say this is just a game, “when you’re a born, bred competitor, champion, a game you put your passion behind it. Now it’s full on beastmode.” Oh please.

He heads back into the kitchen with a smirk on his face and asks Corey “are you good, homey”. He then asks why Victor did what he did? There were five of them that were pledge together (yes, that means you weren’t a part of that, Nicole), and now two of them are nominated. Corey says he could have nominated him the day before, but Victor could have done the same thing a week before. Paulie claims he’s not mad, and then asks if the plan is to evict the other one if one saves themselves in POV. He wants Paul and James to answer, and they don’t know what they’re going to do.

Paulie then launches into a silly tirade about loyalty, and uses Zakiyah as an example. Well, that’s not a good one, crybaby. Paul points out that since only one person can win the game, “eventually this was bound to happen. Swallow that pill and move on.” “Dude, the pill is swallowed”, Paulie answers. Well, it’s not, as feed watchers have seen since this moment. Victor responds that he was evicted on week two, so he was following his strategy.

Nicole had by now walked out, and she’s telling the girls the boys are arguing. “So there’s an all-boys alliance”, asks Natalie. Nicole thinks that her and Corey are just “guilty by association because we like to talk to Paulie. It sucksssssss.”

In the bedroom, Paulie is still asking Paul the same questions over and over. He continues to lie and say he didn’t know Paulie was going up. Paulie then asks if Paul would pull him down if he won POV, and Paul is very vague. Yep, Paulie, you now know you’re “alone in this house”.

Paulie then heads into the bathroom where Corey is washing his hands. The sad piano music comes on as Paulie says he’ll hand the POV to Corey if he wins. The tears start as Paulie says “you’re my homey, bro.” Ugh, this is awful.

It’s already time to pick POV players. Victor pulls Paul’s name, but there’s dead silence when Paulie grabs “houseguest choice”. He gives a little look to Michelle, who begins giggling when Paulie says “wanna play?” He asks if she’ll save him, and she says no. Paulie then chooses Nicole. Corey then pulls the chip for James.

In the bedroom, Paul then tells Michelle, Natalie and James that they should rattle Paulie before the POV. “Call his shit out.” Nobody is scared, or so they say. It all begins in the kitchen with Paulie asking Paul why he looks so serious. Nobody responds, so Paulie asks if he’s pissed. Paul complains that while he had his back, Paulie “clearly don’t have mine”. Paulie claims that he did indeed have his back every time he was on the block, and Paul continues to put on a grand performance. Michelle then pops up about how Paulie has “tried to manipulate everyone”. He points at Michelle as the real “manipulator and liar”. She raises her arms in the air to celebrate. James calls Michelle a “straight shooter”, and she says she was smart enough to see he was full of shit. Oh this if funny, especially when Paulie brings up the Detonators for the 100th time. “You’re never going to be Corey and Derrick”, replies Michelle. POW!!! James then brings up how Paulie treated his woman, and Paulie says he was just joking around. “James is not blinded by my boobs”, says Natalie. “He likes me the way I am.” In the diary room, Paulie claims everybody is taking a page out of his “playbook”, and that they’re afraid of him. Yeah, right. This will motivate him to win the POV.

After commercials, the Zingbot struggles to enter the house as everybody is napping. “Wake up, everybody!” Michelle is excited, and runs to hug it. Natalie also hugs it, and asks for it to “not be mean to me”.

The first zing goes to Corey - “What do you call the man who sweeps Nicole off her feet and sends her heart aflutter, and makes her hear wedding bells? Hayden!” POW!!!

Victor - “I was trying to think up the perfect word to describe you. And I realized it is best said in Spanish. Tu el Douchebag.” (Or something like that.)

James - “You love to scare people in the house. However, this summer the people you’ve scared the most are Natalie’s parents. The son-in-law they never wanted.”

Paulie - “Everyone who says that you’re a less attractive and less charming and all-round lesser version of Cody is correct. A poor man’s Cody.”

Michelle - “I have a B.B. baby announcement. It sleeps all day, cries all night, and can’t stop throwing up. Please welcome Big Meech!!”

Natalie - “We all know you’re not the brightest bulb but luckily what you lack in smarts you make up for in armpit hair.”

Nicole - “Watching you on BB16 was a little tough. You threw your game away for a showmance. You were terrible in comps, and ultimately had no chance of winning it all. Oh wait, that’s this season!” YES!!!!

Paul - “You have a lot of catchphrases. Pissed. Friendship. Your boy. I’ve got a catchphrase everyone will get behind - shut the fuck up!” You naughty zingbot!!!

Zingbot now says he’s running for President, and it’s time for the POV competition. “Make America Zing Again!” It’s the good old prize competition. In each round, they launch a sandbag onto the map of “delegates”. The person with the least delegates is eliminated but they then get to pick a prize. They can then swap it for somebody lower than themselves.

In the first round, Paulie is the first to go. He scores 32, and ends up with the highest score in the round. Paul is eliminated, and he temporarily has the POV. Worthless Nicole is the next out, and her prize is to be part of the “secret service”. She obviously trades Paul for the POV. Corey is the next out, and his prize is a vacation to any American destination. Nicole doesn’t want him to trade, but he does anyway. Paulie then overshoots the target, and he’s now out. He “wins” a “Patriot-tard”, which he then trades with Corey for the POV.

The final round sees James versus Victor, and it really doesn’t matter who wins. James’ shot is off the board, so Victor wins with a 5. James’ prize is $5000, which he keeps. Natalie jokes he can just give it to her. Victor’s first place prize is “apple pie”, which he obviously trades with Paulie for the POV. Time for more tears from Paulie.

Back in the house, Corey is called to the diary room for his “Patriot-tard”. Yes, Nicole, we know you like it. Ugh. Paul is then called in, and comes out dressed as a secret security agent. He actually is much improved with this look. He has to pat everybody down whenever he gets a “red alert”. This is actually a good gimmick for him. Well, they do let this segment go on way too long. Paulie is the last to dress up, but we don’t get the two hours he spent claiming he’d never do it. They show him baking a pie, but since he’s a poor sport they haven’t made him do this too much throughout the week.

The one time they did show it becomes uncomfortable as he tears up once again. He then cries again in the diary room. Natalie hugs him, and he cries some more. Enough.

We end the show with the POV ceremony, which obviously is a bit anticlimactic. At least we didn’t have to watch Paulie begging to have one of them taken down. The meeting is sort of funny, though, as the red alert sounds as it begins. Even crybaby Paulie giggles. Victor gives a little speech that ends with Paulies line from week two that “I can forgive but never forget”, and he announces he’s not using the POV. (Duh!)

Victor says he feels amazing to be able to say that. Corey mumbles a bit. Paulie doesn’t want to campaign against Corey, so he has to come up with a way to keep him in the house.

That’s it tonight!!! Did you enjoy the Zingbot? Are you happy that the nominations stayed the same? Do you agree that the dreaded Waaaaaaaamber from season 8 has been replaced by “Bawlie”? Tell us your thoughts!