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Sunday, August 7, 2016

Big Brother Season 18, Episode 22 Recap

As feed watchers know, there are two main reasons to watch tonight’s episode, and they happen at the very beginning and end. The first incident occurs during an endurance competition when one particular person loses their lunch (literally) and has a hilarious meltdown.

The other incident (allegedly) occurs during the nomination ceremony. The HOH winner spent most of Thursday night and Friday plotting what they thought would be an “epic” stunt to happen right after they announce their nominations. However, the person in questions has been known to screw up anything and everything, so who knows if they follow through. Something happened, though, as there was another meltdown after the ceremony (which will be shown on Wednesday).

So let’s kick this off with the beginning of the HOH competition. It’s the one they do every year where they stand on a hanging disc that rotates in a circle. As always, we get glimpses of most of them hitting the the little #USuck banner.

And like every year, we go back to what happened during the eviction. Zakiyah feels “blindsided” that Day was eliminated, as she was led to believe Day was safe. She or Michelle now need to win, and Paulie knows Zakiyah is upset. He can’t drop before her, as he claims to not know what she’ll do if she wins HOH.

Paul does nothing but babble as he watches the proceedings. “This sucks”, says Corey. Who? Paulie then introduces how the night before he solidified a group with most of the rest of the boys. Yes, he calls it a “giant bromance”, which is then changed to the “executives”. Oh please. This segment is so cheesy as they give each other titles.

Back to the game, and there’s no slamming into the banner. Then a bunch of “trolls” come out and Natalie says she’s scared. James doesn’t like this competition, and he hates the trolls, so the wuss decides to just drop. “James-ie!!!”, yells Natalie as he’s attacked by the dumb trolls. Now she says she has to win for the both of them. Bridgette is right behind James, but she feels safe as she has become friends with the bro’s.

Corey (who?) is then eliminated, so he’s a have-not with James and Bridgette. Michelle says she isn’t hurting, but feels nauseous. She then pukes as she’s hanging, and it’s glorious. Michelle drops, and then begins puking and crying. Like a full-on fit, which includes that she feels bad for the people who have to clean up her mess. The trolls then come to attack, and the tears stop.

Nicole then starts to have problems (gosh!), and her “arms are absolutely killing me”. She then falls just a few inches away from Michelle’s vomit. Dammit!!! The trolls come out to her, too, but they leave out her comment that she’s not in the mood for that.

It’s now Zakiyah, Paulie, Natalie, and Victor. Paulie repeats that he’s not dropping until Zakiyah drops. She then asks how he’s doing, and says she’s ready to drop. Zakiyah then cuts a deal with the rest, although Victor says in the diary room that he owes nothing to anybody since he’s been evicted before. Zakiyah then drops, so Paulie does the same right after. Zakiyah heads behind the stage to cry because “how much more obvious can he be? He did it on purpose.” Yep, your fake love is fake.

It’s now Natalie versus Victor. She just wants a letter from home, but so does Victor. She is shown slipping off her platform, but does a great job in saving herself. Oh wait, we go to commercials first. But she does save herself. It’s actually impressive. The two talk about deals, and Victor promises to not put her up. She is struggling, but she’s not sure “what to expect from him”. She decides to carry on for awhile longer. A lot longer, actually. She says she can’t do it anymore, but Paulie mentions she’s been saying that over and over.

For some reason, James now thinks he has to be secretive in his support for her because he doesn’t want people to think they’re a power couple. Trust me, James, you don’t need to worry about that. Plus, everybody knows you’re together. Dummy. Natalie asks Victor to “please let me win”, and he complains about her “sympathy bull”. She says “ok, Victor, it’s yours”, and after a bit more she does indeed drop to make Victor the HOH!!! She collapses in tears as the trolls attack. “I’m never going to win.”

Actually, Paulie takes credit for the win as he knows he’ll be able to dictate the nominations. Michelle is worried as he “acts power-hungry around the house so him actually having power is very frightening”.

Everybody heads back into the house and Victor complains about his hands. He wants to get out a “big threat”. In the bathroom, Zakiyah and Paulie aren’t even talking as Zakiyah “feels betrayed by everybody” except Michelle. “I’m angry with Paulie for blindsiding me. For lying to me. For not being loyal. I’ve been played.” You think? He rubs her legs and asks if she’s alright, but she turns her head away from him. “I didn’t think Paulie would do this to me.”

In the bedroom, Natalie is still in tears because she didn’t win. “Baby, you came so close”, says James. “I’m so proud of you.” She’s worried that she’ll probably be nominated even though he promised not to do that.

Paul and Paulie pass Bridgette, and she hugs Paul as he says “I told you to trust me, right?” She’s cheery for the first time in weeks, and thinks she can work with him. “I’ll definitely have to repay him in some way.” Wait, what?

There’s another tearful girls, though, as Michelle is crying about how nobody told her about Day being targeted. She whines about Natalie. “America’s Favorite, my ass!”

In the safari room, Paul asks Victor if Day said something to him when she walked out. He tells Paul that Day said he has to win because they’re going to put him up for double eviction. You dummy! There’s a replay of that moment from Thursday, and he says he had “no idea who ‘they’ were”. He’s just going to trust “his boys”. You dummy! Paul complains about Natalie playing the sympathy card during the competition, and that Michelle is an “emotional wreck”. Zakiyah is the other target, and if necessary Bridgette can go up as a replacement. Victor just wants a girl out. Yes, we know.

There’s more commercials before the bro’s start bromancing each other. James joins them, and he tells the others that Michelle and Zakiyah are freaking out. Those two are the targets. They talk about what would have happened if Zakiyah had won, and Paulie talks about how she’s a bit of a liability to him.

Michelle is now in bed, and Nicole comes in to talk to him. “I really trusted you”, Michelle says about the Da’Vonne situation. Nicole is doing “damage control” and whines about how Day was talking about putting up her and Corey. “Michelle, you would have been sooooo mad.” Nicole was too afraid that Michelle would have run and told Day. “I would never do anything that’s detrimental to your game.” Oh please.

Paulie then heads into the safari room to make up with Zakiyah, who is also mad about the Day situation. He says that Day had been playing “number” games with him, so she had to go. Paulie claims that he has no idea with Victor is going to do, and denies dropping on purpose after her. Stupid Zakiyah says she is going to “give him an ounce of trust” although she’s “not a dumb girl”. Oh please.

A few more commercials later and the bro’s are continuing their idiocy. They just want the Executives to make the final five, and it should be oh so easily. Sadly, they’re right since the girls are so awful at this game. Ugh, they want to come up with another name. Even Paul is bored with this silliness, especially since “PP prevails”. They decide on The Board, though. I prefer The Bored.

There’s some weird drama now as Michelle yells at James to take off the jacket he’s wearing. Later, he asks Michelle why she’s pissed at him, and it’s the Day situation again. “I just feel like I can’t trust you at all.” She would have voted with the house if she had known Day was now the target. “It’s really hurtful.” He says he voted her out “for personal reasons”, which doesn’t help the situation. James now maybe wants her out. Maybe, if the boys tell him that’s what he has to do. James then informs Paulie about this conversation. Paulie’s not surprised, so maybe “it’s better for Michelle to go home this week”. Yep, he’s now going to work to save Zakiyah. “I know Zakiyah would never go after you.”

It’s now the next morning (late morning, actually), and everybody is lying around when they get the message that it was time for America’s Care Package. Everybody heads outside, and the dropped package is awarded to James. He gets some underwear, socks, and other things, plus he gets to eliminate two votes this Thursday.

What they didn’t show is Nicole acting like a total twit all afternoon. She’s so jealous of Natalie, and the fact that James and Natalie have both won a popularity contest drives her nuts. Go listen to last night’s Big Brother Gossip Show for audio proof of her insecurity.

The show is now almost over, so let’s see if Victor follow through with his idiotic nomination stunt. He calls everybody in for the ceremony, and like his buddy Paul he’s wearing his stupid HOH robe. Stop it! He nominates, as expected, Zakiyah and Michelle. Oh my god, he does say the same silliness that we featured on last night’s Big Brother Gossip Show. Seriously, go listen to Colette’s rap version of this little ditty. He then concludes his idiotic display by tossing Mardi Gras beads to both nominees. Michelle starts crying, and the rest hold back giggles. It’s actually pretty uncomfortable.

Michelle is still crying as she talks in the diary room about “being literally the worst superfan in history. I thought I could trust Paulie. I could trust Nicole. I could trust Corey, but clearly I can’t.” She has to win the veto because she loves this game so much. Zakiyah isn’t surprised to be on the block, and she’s completely alone. She’s not going to roll over and die, though. Victor is proud of himself as he “was on fleek”. What a dummy. Paulie still has things up his sleeve, and plans to use James’ twist to ensure Michelle goes home.

That’s it. Seriously, this ended up being a pretty funny episode. What did you think? Is Victor a complete moron? Is Michelle a complete psycho? Is Nicole a complete annoyance? Let’s chat, ok?

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