After the mixed feelings of last night’s premiere, I’m very skeptical about tonight’s broadcast. Who wasn’t disappointed about the return of Battle of the Block and the promise of a twins twist tonight? On the other hand, we got the brilliance of Austin and the intriguing story of Audrey. In fact, outside of the dreadful cheeriness of Meg, I didn’t mind any of the original eight inductees.
So tonight we get at least six more people, but the various rumors indicate we will probably end up with eight. There’s also a few more doormats due to be introduced tonight, but we get the brilliance of the “rock star dentist”. I’m so excited for him.
(By the way, there was a short feed leak before tonight’s show. A few spoilers were revealed, but I won’t spill the beans!)
So let’s get rolling! Just like last night, it starts off with an intro from Julie. Well, of course it does as that’s how all the episodes begin. Julie promises a special guest for the first “BB Takeover”. Then we get an overlong rewind of last night’s show before Julie makes fun of the fact she doesn’t have time for a “but first”. Oh Julie.
Now it’s time for the rest of the cast reveals. We start in Miami Beach with Liz doing some yoga in the sand. She says she’s feisty and stubborn, but can control it. She hates jealous bitches, though, so don’t look for her to be in a girl’s alliance.
Jason is shown stocking groceries in a Massachusetts store. It’s not his dream job, and we get a glimpse of his awful basement bedroom. “Deep down, I’m a very shallow person.” He’s a feed watcher; in fact he’s a historian.
Then we get professional Vegas poker player Vanessa. She’s won over 4.5 million playing cards, and she says that Big Brother is similar to playing poker. She has studied “game theory”, and says “I’m going to be rolling on my high IQ”.
From there, we get the rock star dentist! Finally. John is the best. When he’s not pulling teeth, he “rocks out on the guitar”. He says that unlike the rest of his dental school pals, he wasn’t in there to “make smiles”. He was there to “make money”. Love him! He adds that he hasn’t had a lot of luck with the ladies because there’s too many golddiggers looking for dentists.
Then it’s on to Denver and the annoying Becky. She loves the outdoors. “I’m fun. I’m friendly, and people can always trust me.” Yeah, right. Her segment is extremely short (thankfully).
FInally, we get Steve, a New York college geek...I mean student. He’s also into music, but is madly in love with his erector set. I will refrain from the obvious jokes here. He’s also a superfan, and in the fourth grade drew himself with a Big Brother key.
Just like last night, we then see themselves all pack for their big summer. It’s useless, except when John says he hates superfans but Jason responds that it’s ridiculous to hate superfans. Ok then. Becky wants a showmance. Ugh. So does Liz. Of course she does.
And again to repeat the previous night, these six are now magically on the stage with Julie. They’re informed that eight people are already in the house, and Julie then tells them about the idiotic Battle of the Block and Takeover twists.
Liz, Becky, and Steve are then allowed to walk in...and it’s the usual screams and chaos. Steve is in a dream, and he proves how great he is with numbers by counting the house guests. Meg tries to make a joke that she must be the first girl he’s ever talked to.
Liz immediately falls in love with Clay, which hopefully means we’ll have a later catfight with the also-thirsty Shelli. Becky is insulted when Jace calls Colorado “Rado”. Um, ok.
The other three are then brought in, and it’s another wash rinse repeat situation. Austin says he now feels like Seabiscuit, and Jason is his jockey. John is the last person to walk in, and he’s all hugs with everybody. Vanessa immediately wants to know what’s happened so far, and is asking about the previous night’s HOH. We also get our first hint at the twins twist, as Liz babbles about how “things aren’t always what they seem, and people aren’t always what they seem”. We get it.
They all gather at the dining room table for champagne. Da’Vonne believes John is lying about the dentist story. “He gives off the not-a-dentist vibe.” Liz says she just broke up with her man, and Jace is extremely excited by this news. It’s left to Clay to point out the obvious comparison between Steve and Ian. Vanessa says she’s a DJ, but leaves out the poker side of her life.
Audrey then tells the rest of the house her transgender story, and they all applaud. “Props, girl”, says Vanessa. James is in love with all of these women, as he wants to share the HOH room with “any of them”.
But wait! There are two empty places at the table. “It could be something awesome, or it could be something bad”, says James. It’s commercial time!
When the show comes back, Julie introduces this week’s BB Takeover. Phil Keoghan from The Amazing Race comes out as this week’s special BB Takeover host, but I came close to falling asleep during this promo for a show I’ve never seen. Seriously, do we have to see Jeff and Jordan’s appearance on that show? Or Brendan and Rachel? No. He then introduces Jeff and Jackie from The Amazing Race, who will be the final two participants in the season. Who gives a shit?
The “Big Brother Takeover” theme then goes off, and Keoghan announces that he’s “taking over”. He then introduces Jeff and Jackie, and they all act excited. But, really, do these people know Jeff and Jackie? I call bullshit on this. There’s more chatter before we go to another break.
Julie calls everybody into the living room to announce the second HOH competition. Once again, one of them must sit out. Jackie doesn’t want to sit out, as she thinks she’s already a threat. Vanessa finally volunteers, because she sees it as an “edge”. “I’m willing to take the gamble.” Clay says that she should be immune from nomination, just like last night.
They then head outside, and it’s an alien cornfield. John loves it! Once again, it’s tied in to this idiotic BB film silliness. They have to hold on tight to their “stakes” and not be sucked into the “spaceship”. It’s actually kind of cool, despite the super cheap special effects.
Jason really wants to win this, as he said in his preseason interviews. Slime is then dumped on them, and Becky begins whining. For the most part, I could do without the diary room play by play, as it’s as scripted as ever.
Steven is the first one to be pulled off his stake, and he’s then tossed into a pile of hay. Jeff is shocked that this comp is so easy for Jason, but he decides to throw it to show he’s not a threat. John is the next person eliminated, and after we hear about Becky’s outdoor skills she’s also gone.
After another set of adverts, it’s between Liz and Jason. Funny thing is just how comfortable Liz appears to be with her legs wrapped around a long hard object. Eventually, she’s sucked up (another common occurrence, I’m sure), and it’s obvious that Jackie has little time left as she’s at the top of the pole. Jason promises to not nominate her, and after a bit of thought she lets go. In case you forgot, he joins the hayseed Asian as co-HOH’s. In case you still forgot, it’s repeated at least two more times.
The last set of commercials air before we go back to more promos for the next three episodes, including a mention of the twins .Yet we’re not told who it is (Liz). There’s just some audio of Phil giving them a “tease” of what’s coming up.
Oh wait, this is interesting. Phil says that the two people who sat out the game having something coming up. “With risk sometimes comes reward.” Hmmmm, interesting.
We’re done! What did you think of this episode? Do you like the new people? How about the Amazing Race folks? Did you like the competition? Tell us what you think!