I’m expecting lots of laughter on tonight’s episode. This really should be the broadcast where certain people show how little they know about this game. Or maybe not. They tried to make us believe they were all big fans of the show in the preseason interviews, but the commentary over the last few days is too hilarious to not be mentioned. Especially since one of these clowns is destined to get the hook tomorrow.
Besides hilarity, we have a POV competition tonight. And we’re also bound to need our ears cleaned after each and every scene that shows Nicole. But that’s just me (and other smart people).
So let’s kick this off with a replay of Paul being put up as the third nominee by the secret winner of BB Roadkill. Frank, who made the pick, notes how everybody is trying to figure out who nominated Paul. “It feels great to have this big secret.” Nicole whines that this is a great pick for their alliance. They just now have to win the veto competition. Josea says that this is a blow to them, as their goal was to send home a veteran, but that can’t be done with three noobs on the block. “What is the next best thing? To get out a newbie who is related to a veteran. Sucks for you, Paulie, but you gotta go.” Clueless is that silly goose.
Paul struts around the kitchen and says “this beard is pissed”. He promises to win this veto competition. “You’re all going down.”
In the bathroom, Josea tells Victor that it was definitely Michelle that put Paul up. Remember, he can read people. Well, obviously he can’t. Natalie comes out of the bathroom and Josea tells her this piece of info, too. He knows this is the truth because she looked down when the nomination was announced. Paul has joined them and he says he didn’t expect that. Frank then walks in saying, “I did not see that coming.” He agrees it was Michelle. Frank laughs at their stupidity. Josea is still not worried because “I have a strong group in the house with my newbies, and I’m starting to bring some veterans into the fold. Trust me, I’m going to have no problems getting everybody on board and getting Paulie out of the house this week.” Oh lord.
In the storage room, Paul is joined by Nicole. She gives him a hug because she feels she needs “to do some damage control”. He doesn’t care, though, as he’s thinking only of the “gigantic pickle” he’s eating. “I’m assuming that we are cool, then”, she says.
In the lounge, Josea is still babbling. Why was another guy put up? It has to be a girl that nominated Paul. James and Day pretend to agree with this analysis. Funny thing is that everybody in the room does know it was Frank that put him up. James says the only thing to do is agree with him and say that they wish they were just like him. Day says the “next thing I want to hear him say is ‘it was nice meeting you’ as he walks out”.
Now they’re in the kitchen, and Paulie is making Bridgette giggle. For some reason, this makes Paul angry. “She’s putting her team ahead of her group, and that’s not ok.” He wanders into the bedroom and is joined by Victor. He whines about how she should be protecting “her team” instead of giggling with Paulie. Bronte and Natalie join them, and Victor asks if she’s a turncoat. These boys are so idiotic.
Now a bunch of girls are in the other bedroom. When Nicole leaves, Bronte and Natalie talk about how they have to vote to evict Paulie. The plan is for the three girls (including Bridgette) to “lay low and be smart about our moves” and then later go after Victor, Josea, and Paul. Bronte adds in the diary room that she doesn’t completely trust these other two. They would also like to actually keep Paulie because he’s so cute. “I spent the entire week staring at Paulie’s ass”, says Bronte.
It’s now time to pick the veto players. Since only six people are playing, there are only two people besides the HOH and nominees. The HOH then has to pull both chips, which isn’t really completely fair. Her first chip belongs to Da’Vonne, and the second is her own name. This means she gets to choose her player, and she naturally picks Corey. “He’s been glued to her butt 24/7”, complains Paul.
James and Frank head into the bedroom to celebrate. “We couldn’t ask for a better thing”, says Frank. “A smart one and a beast. And Nicole.” They then practice their own special celebratory leap. Yes, you read that right.
As they walk out of the corner, they run into a sad Josea. “It’s time to play a sad clown”, says Frank. He knew Nicole was going to pick Corey, but Frank agrees no matter what Josea has the votes.
In the HOH room, Zakiyah and Day are celebrating with Nicole. Zakiyah notes how disappointed Josea was, and Day promises to keep the noms the same if she wins. “Alright”, says Nicole. “Let’s do this.”
After commercials, it’s time for more pranks from James. I’m sick of this idiocy so I’m not going to recap it.
It is now time for the POV competition, and the backyard includes dog houses and other assorted pet-related toys. The competitors come out dressed as a dog, and of course Nicole thinks that Corey is a cute dog. “You’re making my tail wag.” Stop with the scripted DR’s!!!
So the competitors have to spin around 15 times, and then they have 45 seconds to stack their doggie treats. They have to return to hit their button before the clock hits zero. The first “dog” to stack their treats wins the POV.
There’s a bunch of the usual “we need to win this” comments before it finally commences. As you may expect, there’s lots of sound effects and the typical whining from Nicole. It’s not really interesting to watch, especially with the scripted diary room commentary, so let’s just skip to the finish. Paul wins with an unorthodox pile.
After commercials, we see everybody wandering into the house. Day and Paul walk into the storage room, and she informs him that it’s “tradition” for the winner to have the storage room to themselves for their very own happy dance. She leaves, and he dances.
In the bathroom, Josea and Victor talk about how fun that competition was. Josea feels great as one of his team won. “Now it’s time to get Paulie out of the house.” Paulie and Nicole hug, and Paulie says that he hopes that the vets keep their word. Yes, they will.
Natalie tells Bridgette not to stress. Because two teams are safe from nominations, the only people that can go up in Paul’s place are Frank, Da’Vonne, Zakiyah, and her. “It’s making me feel queasy.” Tiffany tells her that she’s on nobody’s radar. “Everyone loves you.”
Upstairs, Paulie and Tiffany are now playing chess. She decides to inform him that she’s Vanessa’s sister. Why this is a big deal I don’t get, as only a moron couldn’t figure that out. Tiffany wants him in her “back pocket”, though. They talk about how they’re in such a similar situation, and laugh at how Josea has been trying to teach her the game.
Frank and Josea are now in the bedroom, and Josea notes that Frank’s butt is big. Josea starts talking about how observant he is, and he adds in the diary room that he’s confident that Frank will do whatever he wants. America is “going to call me the glue”, he adds. “I stick people together. I feel like I’m the Messiah.” Frank laughs at this in the diary room.
There’s a few more adverts before we see the self-proclaimed “leader of this house” call a house meeting. “It’s time to get everybody on the same page, and that page is for Paulie to go home.” Day thinks it’s hilarious, and she’s sent to “discreetly” get Zakiyah. Everybody in the HOH laugh at this, and Zakiyah is asked to take notes for Nicole.
At the same time, the “spy girls” have a top secret plan that nobody will notice or care about. Bridgette is sent upstairs to “infiltrate” the folks in the HOH room while her and Bronte go attend the secret meeting. James notices this happen, and decides to crash the meeting. “What’s the deal, man? What’s going down?” James is actually funny here.
Josea says that “this bunch runs this bitch. Point blank, period.” He only has “one agenda”. Bronte asks if this is “to vote Paulie out?” Paul asks everybody to not let anybody else sway their vote. James says “this is the weirdest meeting ever”, and maybe they shook check to see who is on their team before putting out orders. Tiffany suddenly walks in to hear Josea “preach like Obama”. Day laughs at how he’s leading this meeting in a “damned dog costume”. It really is hilarious.
Somebody asks where Bridgette is, and stupid Bronte says that she’s upstairs “getting information for us”. Zakiyah can’t believe she actually admitted that. We then see Bridgette’s horrible spy work. She’s asked why she’s not at the meeting, and she stupidly says that these secret meetings aren’t for her. “It’s not cool.” She’s the worst spy ever!!!!
Back in the kitchen, Nicole tells the boys she’s going to bed. Paulie then asks Josea about the meeting. He claims that he didn’t call it. “Legitimately, everybody called the house meeting.” Oh boy. There’s yet another period, point blank as they start to bitch after each other. “We have freedom of speech”, says Josea. “We run this house. We run this house. That is it.” Want to know how to tell when a person is an idiot? When Paulie looks like the smarter of the two in an argument.
It’s now time for the POV meeting. Paul wanders into the living room to look at the wall of photos. He babbles some garbage about how the person who nominated is a “coward” that will “regret that decision”. He puts on the POV necklace and calls the cast into the house. Guess what he does? Yep, he saves himself. Of course.
Nicole then gets up and says that since the “roadkill” nominee has been replaced, that secret roadkill winner has secretly nominated a replacement. The screen then shows that Bridgette is our new nominee! Josea’s mouth drops.
Bridgette is “upset”. Seeing her name on that screen “just sinks my heart”. She says that she will go after whomever did this to her, but it’s the least convincing threat I’ve ever heard. Paulie is still worried even though everybody claims that he’s safe. Josea says he “feels really chill. I know my alliance loves me, and my alliance is pretty well half the house. Paulie sorry but not sorry. You need to start packing because you’re going home.” Frank finishes things off by saying that he hopes Josea’s “ego can fit through that door”.
So that’s it for tonight! Did you laugh as much as I did? Are you shocked by the stupidity of not only Josea, Paul, and Victor, but also non-entities such as Bridgette? Comment away, my friends!!!