Tonight is going to be fun. Besides the fact that Victor and Paul completely outmaneuvered Paulie on our previous episode, tonight we have the return of the Zingbot. Sometimes that’s not such great news, but these clowns have provided plenty of potential gags for the old gimmick.
The show starts where Sunday left off, and the “shocking” nominations of Paulie and Corey. Nicole remarks to Corey that Michelle is “smirking. She was laughing, I think.” Oh shut up, Nicole. Victor says in the diary room that he’s been doing Paulie’s “dirty work” for way too long. He walks up to Corey and says “it’s a game”. Corey babbles something but he’s too dull to understand.
Paulie heads into the bathroom. We also see him crying in the diary room. He says that while people say this is just a game, “when you’re a born, bred competitor, champion, a game you put your passion behind it. Now it’s full on beastmode.” Oh please.
He heads back into the kitchen with a smirk on his face and asks Corey “are you good, homey”. He then asks why Victor did what he did? There were five of them that were pledge together (yes, that means you weren’t a part of that, Nicole), and now two of them are nominated. Corey says he could have nominated him the day before, but Victor could have done the same thing a week before. Paulie claims he’s not mad, and then asks if the plan is to evict the other one if one saves themselves in POV. He wants Paul and James to answer, and they don’t know what they’re going to do.
Paulie then launches into a silly tirade about loyalty, and uses Zakiyah as an example. Well, that’s not a good one, crybaby. Paul points out that since only one person can win the game, “eventually this was bound to happen. Swallow that pill and move on.” “Dude, the pill is swallowed”, Paulie answers. Well, it’s not, as feed watchers have seen since this moment. Victor responds that he was evicted on week two, so he was following his strategy.
Nicole had by now walked out, and she’s telling the girls the boys are arguing. “So there’s an all-boys alliance”, asks Natalie. Nicole thinks that her and Corey are just “guilty by association because we like to talk to Paulie. It sucksssssss.”
In the bedroom, Paulie is still asking Paul the same questions over and over. He continues to lie and say he didn’t know Paulie was going up. Paulie then asks if Paul would pull him down if he won POV, and Paul is very vague. Yep, Paulie, you now know you’re “alone in this house”.
Paulie then heads into the bathroom where Corey is washing his hands. The sad piano music comes on as Paulie says he’ll hand the POV to Corey if he wins. The tears start as Paulie says “you’re my homey, bro.” Ugh, this is awful.
It’s already time to pick POV players. Victor pulls Paul’s name, but there’s dead silence when Paulie grabs “houseguest choice”. He gives a little look to Michelle, who begins giggling when Paulie says “wanna play?” He asks if she’ll save him, and she says no. Paulie then chooses Nicole. Corey then pulls the chip for James.
In the bedroom, Paul then tells Michelle, Natalie and James that they should rattle Paulie before the POV. “Call his shit out.” Nobody is scared, or so they say. It all begins in the kitchen with Paulie asking Paul why he looks so serious. Nobody responds, so Paulie asks if he’s pissed. Paul complains that while he had his back, Paulie “clearly don’t have mine”. Paulie claims that he did indeed have his back every time he was on the block, and Paul continues to put on a grand performance. Michelle then pops up about how Paulie has “tried to manipulate everyone”. He points at Michelle as the real “manipulator and liar”. She raises her arms in the air to celebrate. James calls Michelle a “straight shooter”, and she says she was smart enough to see he was full of shit. Oh this if funny, especially when Paulie brings up the Detonators for the 100th time. “You’re never going to be Corey and Derrick”, replies Michelle. POW!!! James then brings up how Paulie treated his woman, and Paulie says he was just joking around. “James is not blinded by my boobs”, says Natalie. “He likes me the way I am.” In the diary room, Paulie claims everybody is taking a page out of his “playbook”, and that they’re afraid of him. Yeah, right. This will motivate him to win the POV.
After commercials, the Zingbot struggles to enter the house as everybody is napping. “Wake up, everybody!” Michelle is excited, and runs to hug it. Natalie also hugs it, and asks for it to “not be mean to me”.
The first zing goes to Corey - “What do you call the man who sweeps Nicole off her feet and sends her heart aflutter, and makes her hear wedding bells? Hayden!” POW!!!
Victor - “I was trying to think up the perfect word to describe you. And I realized it is best said in Spanish. Tu el Douchebag.” (Or something like that.)
James - “You love to scare people in the house. However, this summer the people you’ve scared the most are Natalie’s parents. The son-in-law they never wanted.”
Paulie - “Everyone who says that you’re a less attractive and less charming and all-round lesser version of Cody is correct. A poor man’s Cody.”
Michelle - “I have a B.B. baby announcement. It sleeps all day, cries all night, and can’t stop throwing up. Please welcome Big Meech!!”
Natalie - “We all know you’re not the brightest bulb but luckily what you lack in smarts you make up for in armpit hair.”
Nicole - “Watching you on BB16 was a little tough. You threw your game away for a showmance. You were terrible in comps, and ultimately had no chance of winning it all. Oh wait, that’s this season!” YES!!!!
Paul - “You have a lot of catchphrases. Pissed. Friendship. Your boy. I’ve got a catchphrase everyone will get behind - shut the fuck up!” You naughty zingbot!!!
Zingbot now says he’s running for President, and it’s time for the POV competition. “Make America Zing Again!” It’s the good old prize competition. In each round, they launch a sandbag onto the map of “delegates”. The person with the least delegates is eliminated but they then get to pick a prize. They can then swap it for somebody lower than themselves.
In the first round, Paulie is the first to go. He scores 32, and ends up with the highest score in the round. Paul is eliminated, and he temporarily has the POV. Worthless Nicole is the next out, and her prize is to be part of the “secret service”. She obviously trades Paul for the POV. Corey is the next out, and his prize is a vacation to any American destination. Nicole doesn’t want him to trade, but he does anyway. Paulie then overshoots the target, and he’s now out. He “wins” a “Patriot-tard”, which he then trades with Corey for the POV.
The final round sees James versus Victor, and it really doesn’t matter who wins. James’ shot is off the board, so Victor wins with a 5. James’ prize is $5000, which he keeps. Natalie jokes he can just give it to her. Victor’s first place prize is “apple pie”, which he obviously trades with Paulie for the POV. Time for more tears from Paulie.
Back in the house, Corey is called to the diary room for his “Patriot-tard”. Yes, Nicole, we know you like it. Ugh. Paul is then called in, and comes out dressed as a secret security agent. He actually is much improved with this look. He has to pat everybody down whenever he gets a “red alert”. This is actually a good gimmick for him. Well, they do let this segment go on way too long. Paulie is the last to dress up, but we don’t get the two hours he spent claiming he’d never do it. They show him baking a pie, but since he’s a poor sport they haven’t made him do this too much throughout the week.
The one time they did show it becomes uncomfortable as he tears up once again. He then cries again in the diary room. Natalie hugs him, and he cries some more. Enough.
We end the show with the POV ceremony, which obviously is a bit anticlimactic. At least we didn’t have to watch Paulie begging to have one of them taken down. The meeting is sort of funny, though, as the red alert sounds as it begins. Even crybaby Paulie giggles. Victor gives a little speech that ends with Paulies line from week two that “I can forgive but never forget”, and he announces he’s not using the POV. (Duh!)
Victor says he feels amazing to be able to say that. Corey mumbles a bit. Paulie doesn’t want to campaign against Corey, so he has to come up with a way to keep him in the house.
That’s it tonight!!! Did you enjoy the Zingbot? Are you happy that the nominations stayed the same? Do you agree that the dreaded Waaaaaaaamber from season 8 has been replaced by “Bawlie”? Tell us your thoughts!