Ending a fun week of Big Brother is the hopeful departure of an egomaniac who believes he was “bred” to compete on this show. An egomaniac who doesn’t believe he should have to endure heading to jury. An egomaniac who spent the entire week campaigning by saying he would never campaign against his friend.
Yes, I’m talking about Paulie Calafiore, one of my least-favorite Big Brother contestants of all time. The weeks where he and his crew were in charge of the house were some of the most unwatchable weeks ever, which is why his downfall this week has been so enjoyable.
Of course, we’re still not safe. It’s quite possible that his constant pleas finally created a last second change of heart (doubtful). There’s a good chance that he has the “return ticket” that lets him come right back into the house (oh please no). If he doesn’t, it’s also likely there will be some other sort of competition to bring back a jury member.
Let’s sit back and watch the tears flow once again. The POV ceremony has just concluded, and Victor is so happy he can scream. And he does. Corey mumbles something, but I still can’t understand what he’s saying. Paulie claims he’s not going to campaign against Corey, but we all know better. “There’s really nothing I can do.”
Paul walks into the bedroom and fist-pumps James. “I didn’t even give him a hug”, says James. Victor joins them, and asks if he gave good stuff. Natalie joins them with all smiles. Paul says that he has to go for his own “behaviour in the house, for his own mental health, and for the sanctity of our health.”
That won’t stop Paulie, though. He chats with James outside, starting by saying he’s not going to campaign. “I’m not what’s best for everybody’s game. I took a big sacrifice to come here.” The tears come out as he looks at a butterfly. Oh please. James is a big teddy bear, though, and “even Paulie deserves some sympathy”.
The Zingbot voice then comes on, which means that Paulie is supposed to go make a pie. He says he’s not going to do that, which makes even Nicole complain. The zinger continues on, and Paulie starts jogging in the backyard. Michelle is happy, because maybe she’s “not the biggest baby in the house”.
He finally heads into the house, and Corey tries to talk him into following the rules. “I can’t sit here and watch you do this all week”, he says. Again, the tears come out. “Ok, we got screwed”, says Corey. “Didn’t turn out the way we wanted.” The sad piano music comes up, and Corey says he doesn’t want him to break his heart. Oh please. “It’s ok to have emotions about it. Your parents are watching right now. They’re saying stay strong. Cody is sitting there saying don’t be soft.” Paulie (supposedly) has a change of heart, and gets to making his pie. “I’ve got to get my mind back in the game.”
Cody then has a chat with Natalie. If he can get to her, maybe he can stay. She says her “heart hurt a lot” with the things he said last week, and Paulie says “I get it”. He claims he focused the hurt he saw on Zakiyah on her, but Natalie knows this is just for strategy. The fake tears come out again.
Paulie now moves on to Paul. “Are you convinced that everybody wants you gone?”, asks Paul. “Come on, bro”, replies Paulie. “I’m here.” Paulie only needs three votes to stay, and the fake tears may end up saving him. He tries to get Paul to give him a sympathy vote, and again says he won’t campaign against Corey. Paul did give Victor a sympathy vote in the second week, so he may do that again as he doesn’t break the rule of “friendship”. Don’t do it!!!
Once again, he works on James. He says if he can get his and Natalie’s votes, he can swing it. He’s waving his flag as he does it (part of his task), and James begins giggling. Paulie says he can be used to take out Paul, and James says “it sounds good”. James claims that he doesn’t know what to do. (Bullshit.)
Finally, he sits with Paul, James, and Natalie. “It’s the only chance your boy’s got and I’m going to do it.” James babbles that it’s all Natalie’s decision, and Paulie says he’ll do whatever they want him to do. He’s going to do a “lay on a grenade type thing” the following week if they see him, and he’ll never screw them over. Yeah, right.
It’s now time for me to take a poop, as Brendon and Rachel are on my TV. Seriously, why? I don’t care that they had a baby. Good for them.
But I will gladly watch this next bit of filler. We’re heading to the jury house!!!! This could be popcorn-worthy. Day is hanging out all alone, and her biggest regret is that once again she didn’t know how “to keep my mouth closed”. The limo then shows up, and as we know it’s Zakiyah. Day had hoped it would be Paulie or Nicole, though, so she yells “nooooooo” when Zakiyah walks in. Of course, Zakiyah doesn’t know what she would have done differently. Exactly. You had no game play. Zakiyah explains that it was her connection to Paulie that caused her downfall. They watch the week’s highlights, and both agree that it was “very sketch” when Paulie dropped right after Zakiyah. Day really has a side eye when she discovers that Paulie had won the week’s veto but didn’t use it on her. “If that ain’t a damned wake up call, I don’t know what is.” Day knew he was shady. James was also a bit shady in their eyes.
The next limo shows up, and they hope it’s not Michelle. Instead, it’s Bridgette (as we knew). She’s happy that she “blew the house up before I left”, and they then watch the highlights of the week. They’re shocked that Corey actually won something, and Day mentions how they all actually wanted the same people out. Bridgette explains how Michelle thought she was heading out, and they all cheer at her outburst. “She’s playing a little dirty, but she’s playing it”, says Day. Bridgette really hopes that she blew Paulie’s game up (as do we).
It’s finally eviction time. After Julie announces that tonight is the last night that the ticket twist exists, Paulie gives the first speech. Ugh, he sucks. He just plays up to the family and friends, and then goes down the line to say good things about each of them. Why is he being allowed to go so long??? He finally grabs Michelle, and she almost gives a crotch shot as he kisses her. Corey then just mumbles as he always does, ending by calling Nicole the “sweetest, cuddliest, most harmless snake I’ve ever met”.
Voting then begins with Michelle, who votes to evict Paulie, as does Paulie, James, Natalie, and Nicole. It’s unanimous. Paulie is out the door. They’re all hugs as Paulie heads out the door. He lifts Julie off the ground, and I wish security had tackled him at that point.
The cameras are turned back on in the house as Julie opens his envelope. It’s not the return ticket!!!! Yes!!!! Yes!!!! I refuse to listen to her questioning of Paulie. Let’s just get to the HOH competition. Seriously, I can’t deal with his arrogance.
Instead of a competition, though, we get to find out who had the round trip ticket. They extend this as long as possible by having each of them open them individually. It’s actually Paul who has it! That makes sense, as he was the first one who got into the tunnel.
Wait, there’s no HOH competition tonight!!! What the hell??? After one final commercial break, Julie talks about tomorrow’s filler episode, which also includes the beginning of the next HOH competition. Julie also announces that the first five jury members will compete to come back to the house. Oh no. We may not have seen teh last of Paulie.
So what did you think? Are you happy Paulie’s gone? Are you excited to see the reaction he’ll get in the jury house from Day and Zakiyah? Are you mad that we no longer seem to have HOH competition to close the show? Talk, people!!!