Another week, another anticlimactic eviction. Despite all the efforts by the fine editing crew in the Big Brother production studio, every live feed viewer knows who is going home tonight. In fact, if the vote isn’t unanimous I will be surprised.
That doesn’t mean there’s no hope for this season. While every day it was looking and looking more like a repeat of the godawful coaches season (Big Brother 14) there have been some cracks in the armor the last couple of days. People are beginning to compare stories. The vets are no longer united, and a few noobs are finding themselves with new allies.
Unfortunately, you won’t see any of that tonight. Nope. It’s going to be the usual house footage to make one believe it could be anybody going home tonight, followed by the predicted eviction and insipid interview with Julie Chen. Then the show will culminate with a HOH competition that will hopefully not be won by a certain smelly asshole.
(Look, I know I’m being really negative about this season. I’m trying to get into it. I really am. But mixing vets and new contestants never works. It fails in every aspect. There’s no ratings jump. There’s no additional media attention. Most importantly, returnees are always allowed to run everything, and they inevitably hamper the live feed drama we so desire. I’d even would rather have a house of recruited bartenders and wannabe actors than a single returning house guest.)
With that off my chest, it is time to get going with tonight’s show. But first...another extraordinarily long “previously on Big Brother” segment, with the most important items immediately restated by Julie.
Once we’re finally through this lengthy intro (over five minutes), we move to the house footage. The POV meeting has just concluded, and Victor is now on the block. That idiot still thinks he has a chance to survive, though. Paul feels bad for his pal, but he has to survive for another week.
Victor heads outside and says he’s going to “make an effort to stay. I don’t miss my family that much yet.” James and Natalie join him, and James thanks him for not nominating him as the Roadkill nominee. He says he didn’t because he didn’t want to “lose a strong teammate”. He says in the diary room that he needs to sway people to vote out Tiffany. James and Natalie aren’t real receptive to this plan, although Natalie claims to not be clear on her plans. Yeah right.
Tiffany, Bridgette, and Bronte are now talking girl power. Tiffany wants to put together a “girl thing”. Bronte agrees that the boy are too powerful, especially Frank. Tiffany’s goal is to “plant some seeds” against him. “Please don’t take that to Frank.” Bridgette promises not to do that.
Paul now heads upstairs to chat with Frank and Bridgette, but then immediately heads out. Frank thinks the two of them are “solid”, but Frank wants to strengthen their relationship. Bridgette does this the best way possible by completely kissing his ass. When Frank talks a bit of shit about Tiffany, Bridgette automatically replies about how much she hates him. Ugh, you dummy. She gives it all up, and Frank then says he “looks at you like a little sister”.
Back downstairs, Tiffany is now preaching girl power to Natalie (and Bronte and Bridgette). Oh, that’s the perfect person to chat with, as Natalie has been saying all season she’d never nominate a girl. James walks in, but is kicked out. He runs upstairs and narcs the girls to Frank and Paulie. It’s amazing how badly so many people are playing. James says they all need to look at Tiffany as if she’s her sister with side alliances and other silliness. Ooooh, maybe Victor is staying this week. (He’s not.)
After some adverts, we get footage of some of the vet infighting I mentioned earlier. Nicole, Cory, and Frank are talking about Tiffany. “The only person I’m worried about that with is Paulie.” He wants to tell Paulie about their stupid eight-pack alliance, and Nicole whines in the diary room that “yeah, that’s fine”.
Paulie then comes into the HOH, and Frank does inform him of that meeting that led to that super-big alliance. He pretends that it’s no big deal, and says the only reason he’s not in it but just wasn’t in the room. Paulie says he’s “not too worried about it”, but will use that info if needed.
Frank then runs to Day to inform him that he spilled the beans to Paulie. She’s not happy about this, especially since this was “to cover his own ass...selfish ass”. While she claimed to have been talking about evicting Tiffany, she now thinks that Tiffany must remain so she has the votes.
Stupid Frank then moves to Zakiyah, who is also pissed since she’s joined at the hip to Paulie. Back upstairs, she’s laying around in bed with Paulie, who wants to “solidify some ride or dies”. Zakiyah says she trust him, Day, and Nicole. Paulie adds Corey’s name to that list.
Zakiyah then runs to Nicole to bitch about Frank, and Day joins them. She tells them about her conversation with Paulie, which pisses Day off even more. This new five-person alliance consists of her and two “couples”. “Where does this leave me”, she says in the diary room. “The fifth wheel.”
More telephone is then played as Day chats with James about her chat with Zakiyah. “It’s everybody for themselves”, says James after hearing about these new plans. Day starts crying, babbling “it’s not fair”. Well, it is fair. It just doesn’t help you.
That’s it for the new house footage. Julie cues them for the final pleas, starting with Bronte. She thanks her parents and those in the house. She just wants to stay and play. Victor suddenly has a high-pitched voice for some reason, and plugs his Instagram. What a moron. Tiffany is last up, and she wants the ladies to vote for her because she owns the “hair straightener”. What?
Voting now begins with Natalie, who votes to evict Victor. Paul, however, votes to get rid of Bronte. Bridgette goes against Victor, and Julie tries to say the problems in the eight-pack may save Victor. TV-only viewers go to these commercials somewhat thinking that’s true. (It’s not.)
When the commercials conclude, Zakiyah goes against Victor, as does James, Day, Frank, Michelle, Nicole, and Corey. Victor is gone by a vote of 9-1. Julie relays the news, and he hugs everybody before departing.
Look, Victor is a dummy and not interesting at all. He claims that he knew he was going shortly after his nomination, but he really has nothing else to say. The goodbye messages come from Natalie (who hopes he learned how to deal with women), Bronte (who bitches about his social game), Paulie (“nothing personal”), and Paul (“we blew it”). He’s then told about the “Battle Back” twist, and he couldn’t be happier.
The show now heads towards the conclusion with this week’s HOH competition. It’s the sort of comp that we call a “crapshoot”, as it’s more of a game of luck than any real skill. Unfortunately, it’s still a “team” competition. The backyard has a tennis theme (“Kiss My Ace”), and they have to “serve” their tennis ball. The lowest score in each round is out, and the last team standing wins.
Bronte is out in the first round (we really don’t get to see the scores), followed by Michelle. Nicole completely screws up so she’s the next to be eliminated, along with Day. James is the next to go, followed by Frank, Corey, and Zakiyah. There’s now only one player left on each team, and Tiffany causes her team to be out of the running. Natalie is now out, so it’s between Bridgette and Paul. Paul gets a 1, but Bridgette scores 17 to win. She’s the new HOH, and her entire team is safe this week!
That was kind of an awkward competition, but hopefully this will breath a little bit of new life into this season. Probably not, however, as not only is Bridgette buddies with Frank, she’s also completely spineless. Sigh.
There’s one more little segment as Julie congratulates Bridgette for her win. She says she’s “so shocked” and excited. Paulie’s advice is only to “enjoy that room, baby girl”. Ugh.
So that’s it. What did you think tonight? Do you share my disappointment? Are you pleased that Bridgette won this HOH? What can be done to improve the season??? Tell me. Please tell me!!!