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Sunday, September 7, 2014

Big Brother Season 16, Episode 33 Recap (Without Viewing)

Sorry, folks, but this is another episode that I'm skipping. I'm assuming that I'm not alone. Besides the premiere of another reality show on another network, the mysterious button makes anything that happens this week unnecessary. (Plus, I refuse to watch Jeff and Jordan. Sorry cat ladies.)

That doesn't mean that I can't recap, though. Production has been so predictable in recent years, that I bet that I'm close to perfect in this outline of tonight's show:

1. The show starts off with a look back at double eviction night. Christine's boos are discussed by the house, and Cody has a diary room segment where he's concerned about what that means about his popularity. Frankie, of course, will have plenty to say about it.

2. The house looks at the mysterious button in the have-not room, and they all have diary room segments about what they think it means. Victoria says something completely ridiculous, Derrick worries about his game, and Caleb believes it could mean prizes and fame. Frankie again makes it all about him.

3. The HOH competition, won by Frankie. We all know how this works. Instructions are read to the house, and then there are diary room segments where the rules are explained again. They all talk about how it's so important that they win this competition. After Frankie wins, he goes nuts for the camera, and also in the diary room. 

4. More discussion on the button before the house decides to push it. Frankie again makes it all about him, and ensures maximum camera time.

5. Jeff and Jordan's prearranged engagement. Excuse me while I vomit. Jordan pretends to be surprised, even though it was announced on Thursday's show that they had a big announcement. Cody thinks they did it on Big Brother because they love the cast so much, Caleb believes that it's because they want him to sing, Derrick worries how this will affect his game (I'm joking), and Frankie is over the top in his excitement. 

6. A few minutes of nonsensical game talk, including Derrick again lecturing the viewers on his mastery of directing the conversations. Frankie talks about targetting a big player.

7. Frankie nominates Victoria and Cody, dressed outrageously and peppered with sexual innuendo. The audience yawns, and turns back to either Sunday Night Football or Utopia.

The end.


  1. I think your write up will be more interesting than the show itself.

  2. He season is so boring, no showmances( no good ones at least)
    No big moves (such as getting Cody or Derrick out of the house)
    And no surprises

  3. Just watching the episode now.
    A few seconds after the button is shown, Frankie says "Is it a reset button?"
    I missed the last episode, Did Julie tell them what the button was? Or did Frankie make a good guess?
    Or (queue conspiracy theory music) did production tell Frankie to expect it?

  4. So, I watched the proposal and I had two highlights.
    1. Seeing Caleb starstruck over Brett Eldrige (I know I spelled that wrong) was hilarious. Also, how tall is that dude?
    2. Jeff and Jordan in the dr talking about the proposal (is this the first time that non-contestants got be in the dr? I can't think of another time). Jordan was talking about how Jeff got together all of her favorite things- her dog, their families, and country music. Notice one thing missing? Also, Jeff basically said to her that the proposal was the most romantic he would be. God, they are truly the bb cash cow couple.

  5. I expected so much more this year, has bb jumped the shark? I can't wait to see these most boring cast on an all- stars....not!! Wow no creativity this year, truly disappointed.

  6. Jen, I'm scared to even think about all-stars, because it will be all of Allison grodner's pets. Jejo, Brenchel, Dan, Ian, Elissa, the Donatos,Frankie, Derrick, a good portion of the brigade (minus Britney). I have been thinking about who I want to see in the house again and I wouldn't include over half of the people I mentioned.

  7. Liz, none of the people you listed will be back on All Stars except maybe Ian and Frankie. But I do think Zach and Donny will be on All Stars. And maybe next time they will give Zach a loyal gay guy to have a bromance with.

    Not a cat lady here but I do unashamedly love me some JeJo. Always have, always will.

  8. I hope Nichole and Donnie come back for the all star bb

  9. I hope you are right, Benferro (except for the Frankie part). I am interested to see how derrick would work a house of non-noobs, but he isn't a necessity in my dream all-star cast. I want to see Zach and Donny back. Nicole would be a wildcard, but I wouldn't be heartbroken if she doesn't make it. I feel like a lot of the memorable house guests have already been on twice(I feel like two seasons should be your max) since the last all-stars. Trying to think of memorable people that haven't been part of another season or part of any scandalous seasons is hard.

  10. Excellent recap for not watching it...and you were dead on. The only difference was that I didn't see Derrick's cockiness like the last show...he wasn't lecturing us, or explaining his mastery. Hopefully that won't happen again! I like Derrick and I think he deserves to win, but I agree with you that the cockiness is a real turn-off....and may turn viewers again him.

  11. LOLOLOLOL!!!! Spot on! I didn't watch either. Vomit! I actually stopped watching the TV & Live Feeds about a month ago. I keep up with your site & podcasts. Thanks!

  12. I'm so tired of frankie and his wanna be star status ego. He just over plays everything. Derrick is ok but he's by far is not the best. N Victoria should just come out n say how head over heels she is over Derrick...n shame on her cuz he's a married man. I wouldn't mind seeing Cody win n beast mode come in second. What a pathetic bunch. N I still can't believe that they have continued to let frankie get away with all of his rude n disgusting comments!!

  13. Brilliant & spot on!!! Sad isn't it that a pre-viewing recap can be so accurate. :/

  14. Sorry Scott, but you totally missed Caled in his boxers and cowboy boots asking if anyone had seen his pants. And then Frankie sexually harassing him, of course.

  15. Scott -- You also missed Frankie's panting and salivating like a dog (as he was holding Jordan's dog) to be the center of attention at JeJo's engagement party. Frankie believes he is in Wonderland and that it's all happening because of him.

  16. This episode where 'nothing happened' during a week where 'nothing counts' kicked Utopia's ass. I don't see the appeal of idiots in the wild fighting over their particular and peculiar worldviews even remotely interesting.

  17. Watching now and checking off your list as I go along.
    * Not yet, more talk about Christine and Frankie's the target.
    Now :
    3.HOH Competition, which was rigged for the professional dancer, Frankie to win. Looks like they're back to giving him the good edit again.
    4.So now you are back on track cause we're back to the button.
    5.Nope not JeJo, but LMAO at Caleb in boxer briefs and boots. Seriously, you put your boots on and then look for your pants?
    6. Now JeJo. Sorry Scott but you know I'm a huge JeJo fan. And, I'm not a cat lady. Not all their fans are rabid.They were an original, true romance, that wasn't icky to watch. Not something contrived for more Screen time like those that followed. But, boy oh boy if and when they reproduce, not a very bright gene pool. I can't believe he didn't know what finger the ring goes on and she didn't know what was up after Julie's announcement on Thursday. But they still make me smile every time they are together. Congratulations to the lovely couple.
    7 . Check
    It just goes to show you that the new motto "expect the expected" does apply.

  18. Great analysis, but you missed the part where Hex shot an arrow right between Frankie's eyes... Good Shot!!!

  19. Thanks, Kim. It was kind of funny last night reading on twitter just how close I was to guessing what happened.

    As for Jeff and Jordan, here's my honest take. I liked them the first season they were on, and actually cheered when Jordan beat Natalie in that basketball comp. Jordan had been a waste of space on comps all season, and Natalie was oh so cocky that she was going to win. I do cheer for underdogs, so it was a great moment when she won.

    However, that was the last time I cheered for them. It's well-documented how much I hate returning players...and I detested the season they returned. The entire setup was designed so that as many of them as possible would make it to the finale. Jordan was miserable. She didn't want to be there and did little to nothing in the house but chomp on chips. When Jeff tossed out the clown shoe, I laughed and laughed.

    Since then, we're stuck with them. Or, rather, him. He's TERRIBLE at interviews, and even worse when he's trotted out to talk to Julie once or twice a season. This whole engagement setup was beyond tacky, and Jordan claiming she had no idea this was going to happen was laughable.

    Besides that, here's the main reason that I'm not a fan. Their relationship changed how Grodner and Co cast this show. Ever since then, there's been this obsession with showmances. People aren't cast to be good players; they are cast to be relatively attractive people that they hope hook up. Even this year, it was clear that they so wanted Nicole and Hayden to hook up, and really tried to force the Frankie/Zach fake thing down our throats. Julie trying to bait Zach with the idea that they were the best showmance since Jeff and Jordan was embarassing to her, Zach, and the audience.

    They also marked a change in how this show is treated in social media, but I'll refrain from another round of cat lady attacks. :)

  20. Scott, points well taken. I agree with your analysis BUT... you can't blame JeJo for Grodner's failures. That's on her and TPTB. What I liked about JeJo was they were organic. It played out under our eyes and they were cute together and not staged. They are the only couple before or after that haven't made me cringe or vomit in my mouth when they are on screen or go Are you kidding me? And Grodner and co should just give up trying to reproduce something that just happened organically. It's not going to happen.

  21. Boy, I'm going to have to get with the program... I thought JeJo was the name of the dog...

  22. Why can't I share this on Twitter unless I have the standard Twitter app? I use Tweetbot and I can't share! This was hilarious!