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Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Big Brother Season 17, Episode 19 Recap

It's a pretty straightforward episode tonight. The self-proclaimed favorite couple of the season is now on the block together. There's an attempt to save themselves in a must-win POV, followed by a veto meeting that should prove to be contentious. In between will be some strategy and plotting, along with the typical fluffy filler that is typical on the Wednesday show. Oh yeah, and lots of nauseatingly cutesy banter between the two lovebirds.

But at least the latest commercials have promised us some fun at the beginning of the episode, so let's just go to the aftermath of James nominating Clay and Shelli. The scene starts with James grabbing the nomination box and walking away. It's a bit tense in the room, and in the diary room James says, "since day one HOH, I was known as a heavy hitter. (um, no.) I'm not scared to get blood on my hands. That's what I signed up for. Clay and Shelli are up on the block for a reason, and I'm not scared to be the one to say I dropped the hammer on them."

Clay walks to the cupboard for some food, and Vanessa tells him that "I'm here for you guys" as she hugs him. Unfortunately, we then get some monotone Clay diary room babble that comes close to making me fall asleep. He hugs Shelli and says, "we'll be alright". The sad piano music then commences as Shelli tearfully talks about how she's on the block with the "number one person in the house that means to me more than anything". Oh boohoo.

The two continue to hug as she says he's the only person she wants to be with in the game. Vanessa repeats to Shelli what she told Clay about being there for them. "I'm loyal to the end." Shelli walks away from her, and now Vanessa is whining about how rude that was. "I didn't do anything."

Clay then starts complaining to James. "That's pretty chicken shit, bro. I want you to know that. Very chicken shit. You talk about integrity and holding your word?" Shelli comes running out of the bedroom, clicking her fingers and yelling at Clay like he's a little puppy. "Clay! No! Stop it!"

James just says he's not scared. "I did three years in prison with big men yelling at me." Oh my God, this is priceless. Easily the best confrontation of the year. Bring me more, Big Brother! Bring me more!

Clay continues to walk away, and Shelli has to grab him and force him to look her in the eye as she admonishes him. "Look at me. Please do not do that. That's going to make them target you. Stop it." He replies that he's going home before she does. This pisses her off. "Are you kidding me? I'm the bigger target." Oh man, I need more popcorn! Cue the romantic music now, as he tells her that "I'm not letting you go home." Oh please. Stop it! "They're going to break us apart before jury", whines Shelli. "I knew it. I just threw that away."

Meanwhile, Jackie asks James if he's ok. "I'm sorry. They gotta be held accountable. I got held accountable for what I did." Again, Vanessa makes it about her, though, as she complains about how Shelli wouldn't give her a hug. (BTW, this is again all from Saturday's Big Brother Gossip Show!) James points out how "they don't care about how people feel except themselves".

In the bedroom, Shelli and Clay continue to feel sorry for themselves. Clay is "so pissed off that I don't trust anyone in this game except you". Shelli's main complaint is how they're the ones taking the blame for Jason's eviction, and not Vanessa, Austin, or the twins. They want Austin backdoored. Fat chance of that!

Vanessa then enters the room, and it's Hug-gate once again. "We're the ones on the block, Vanessa", responds Clay, in a rare moment where he makes sense. Vanessa continues to whine, and is offended when Shelli asks what James was talking about. "You think he'd tell me?" Shelli bitches that they all "put their asses on the line to save Austin, and he's out there sitting pretty". Well, that's not quite true, Shelli. The whole Jason thing came about because you had a fit people didn't cheer your son hard enough for his POV victory. Shelli says she's going to do anything she has to do to save the two of them, and Vanessa's tear ducts immediately dry up as she pointedly states this will blow all of their games up. "Your decision last week has hurt our game as we're on the block", says Clay.

"My decision", responds Vanessa. "Mine? If you insinuate it's mine, then honestly fuck off. There were fucking three of us." She then storms out of the room. "I can't stand people", she bitches to Jackie on her way outside. "People in general, just people."

Most of the house is outside as Vanessa starts stomping around the backyard bitching about the pair's accusations. "It was not my decision", she tells Jackie. "It was ours." Ooops, who is blowing up everybody's game? It's not Clay or Shelli. "They're blaming it on you", says Jackie, "and we're smarter than that." James adds that this is why they're on the block. Oh yes, he's loving am I.

The twins also say that James made a good decision, and he says that he didn't do it just for them. Clay and Shelli then make their way towards the backyard, and they notice Vanessa laughing and joking with everybody. Shelli then comes out. "What are y'all talking about?" She wants to talk to James. "Is he all calmed down yet?"

He heads into the lounge room, and Clay apologizies. "This is why I got all upset. Of all the people in the house, the two people here are the ones who had your back and will have your back in this game." Well, not really. It doesn't make sense to put them up in his eyes. "We haven't betrayed you in any way", adds Shelli. James isn't buying it, though, and he points out that they didn't have to vote out Jason. Shelli then brings up the deal they made, and James replies that he would be the bottom man of any alliance they would ever have. "You can all be pissed and have grudges, but it's spilled milk."

Wow, and that's just the first ten minutes of tonight's episode!!!

After commercials, Shelli approaches Vanessa. She says in the diary room that she can't let "somebody else's move in the game come between me and Vanessa". She apolgoizes, and says she's "not going to come against the alliance". Vanessa sheds some pretend tears, and says she understands. They hug, and again Shelli complains that this should have come next week so they could be in jury again. Yep, it's another steal from the Big Brother Gossip Show! "Why this week? It's the worst one. I'm going to spend the summer in the jury house without him." Bwahahahahaha! Austin, who is standing nearby, admits in the diary room that he's secretly celebrating because it means he's going ot make it to jury with Liz. (Slaps head in disgust.) Vanessa then says she's willing to let their earlier differences go.

The bad funk music then comes on as it's time to pick POV players. James pulls out house guest choice, and picks Jackie. Shelli pulls out Becky's name, while Clay gets Vanessa, who says being chosen is "complicated". She can ensure she won't be a replacement nominee, but can also "piss off the house".

Upstairs, James then talks to Becky and Jackie. James wants to keep the nominations the same, but they're unsure what Vanessa would do. Becky, aka The Rat, doesn't know what she would do if she won the veto. James reiterates that this is the best move he could have made this week. (Most) viewers agree.

After another round of commercials, it's POV time! It's a modified Game of Thrones ("Game of Throws") set. In each round, they catapult a dart onto a giant map, and the player scoring the least points is then eliminated. They then get a crown which has a prize inside, including the veto, and the players eliminated after the earlier losers can exchange their prizes. Yep, it's the old Big Brother prize/reward competition.

In the initial round, Vanesssa goes first. She scores a 26, while Clay gets 19, Becky gets 11, Shelli gets 22, Jackie scores 1, and James gets 29. Jackie is the first out, and her prize is the POV! Too bad that won't last long on her head.

In the second round, Clay gets 22, Becky gets 17, Shelli lands off the board, James hits 33, and Vanessa scores a 17. Shelli is out this round, and her prize is a "knight in shining armour". She must wearing an "armi-tard". Obviously, she trades this with Jackie, as she "already has a knight in shining armour". Ugh.

We move to round three. Becky gets a 7, James scores a 33, Vanessa is off the board, and Clay hits a 33. Vanessa is now out, and her prize is a vacation to Ireland. She keeps it.

Round four begins with James, who hits a 29. Clay hits 16, and Becky hits 20. Clay is now out! Oh, the happy couple is not so happy. Clay's prize is a "knight in shining armour", which makes him the oficial armour shiner of the knight, aka Jackie. He takes Vanessa's Ireland trip instead.

It's now the final round, and James says he HAS to win it. He scores only a ten, but Becky (aka The Rat) doesn't even make the map. Did she throw it? I think she did. Becky's prize is $5,000, and she keeps it. As the winner, the final prize to James is "castle guard", which means he has to complete a task involving hitting objects with a sword 2400 times. Do you think he's going to keep it? Of course not, despite the 30 seconds of suspense they added to the footage. He trades it for the veto! James is the POV winner! Cue the sad music for Clay and Shelli!

After more adverts, the sad couple are in the bathroom. "It's not over yet, okay", says Clay to Shelli. He thinks they have one last ditch effort. She can't handle the thought of going two months without him, though. Oh please. You've known each other for 40 days. She's then shwon being called to the diary room, and Meg follows Clay to the bathroom. Now keep in mind that throughout the POV competition, there have been many shots of Meg drinking wine. She's a bit tipsy. In the bathroom, she repeatedly says "I can't stand you". Clay asks for a hug, and then grabs her. She asks if he's ok, and he says "it's only a game". He continues to hug her, and starts rubbing her back. Johnny, who has just come out of the bathroom, is getting a laugh out of this. "Clay and Shelli are going to get split up. You can tell (Meg and Clay) are fighting those primal urges. They're really struggling to stay off of each other." They finally disentangle, and Clay asks her to promise to vote to send him home. She caresses his face, and says she can't make that promise. He asks why, and she says it's "because I believe in know you're my freakin' dude from the start, so just stop". Her hands are still caressing his face, and then she goes in breasts first for another hug. Her hands are now on his thighs as she says that she just can't do that because "you know how I feel about you. You and I bonded from the start, but you had to go along with the little lady friend. I can't wait to get you drunk in New York City, baby." Oooh, that little hussy! They hug one more time.

Now it's time for filler, as Vanessa and Jackie have to put on their punishment outfits. Vanessa has to "polish and buffer" Jackie's armour for 24 hours. Shelli's punishment is then shown. She has to do a "swordsman's regimen", which involves swiping a punching bag, punching a target, and slicing a bar. She has to do it 2400 times in 24 hours. It's sort of funny, but not nearly as funny as the earlier drama-filled or flirty segments. I fast-forwarded, but Shelli did indeed fulfill her task.

Back to the game. Shelli intends to get James to use the POV. Yeah, fat chance. It all starts after another round of commercials. The pair ask to talk to James, and they head up to the HOH. She claims to have info that she acquired from the twins. Clay says they have nobody to have their backs in the house, and James says this info has to be good for him to make any changes. Shelli is hesitant, though, because she's afraid of being attacked. She then tells James about Austin's "Judas" alter-ego. Yeah, that's not going to be enough. In fact, he asks her if she's been on any narcotics. She says that "Judas" voted for Audrey to stay, and that he changed earlier nominations to put up James. "There's a bunch of savages in here", James says in reply, and adds that he'll take all of that into consideration.

(OK, there's a lot of stuff that's not shown here. This conversation went on for hours, and led to other chats with various people in the house that at times made it appear as if change was indeed possible. In fact, this talk occurred when I went to bed Sunday night, and another one between the three of them was going on when I woke up seven hours later. Typical of CBS to make things seem different than they originally were.)

We then head to the POV ceremony, and James does NOT make any changes to the nominations. Oh wait, he gives them a chance to plead their case. Clay says there's no other person he wants to play the game with besides Shelli. She says "the same right back to you", and then says she's been "good to the people in this house, good for our word, and I don't think we deserve to be in this position right now". Then James says that while they're on "good terms, I feel like you turned your back on me. You just left me in the dark on things, so with that being said I've decided not to use the power of veto."

The meeting is adjourned, and Shelli is in tears. She doesn't want to hear anything bad about Clay, although she admits she is going to fight to stay in the game. "I just can't fight against him." Clay still says he wants to go, as she "has a shot to win this game. There's no way in hell I can campaign against this girl." James throws out some cliches, and the show is over.

Wow, this was so much better than I expected! What did you think? Tell us!