Before we begin, a word of warning. Tonight’s recap is going to be much shorter than what you’re used to hear on Bigbrothergossip. Why? The quick answer is because the show is going to be dominated by a competition, which are always boring to recap.
This is especially true because said competition is a tie-in to CBS season premiere of the Candy Crush game show, which airs immediately after Big Brother’s conclusion. So you know that there will not only be all of the terrible sound effects and scripted diary room silliness, there will also be lots of hype about the Candy Crush game and show.
But that’s not the only reason for my lack of enthusiasm. What happens during said competition is disgusting to this longtime Big Brother fan. It’s bad enough that everything in this game was designed for returnee Paul’s benefit. He was guaranteed entrance by a comp that could not go any other way, and immediately was able to put together a crew of eight with the “friendship” bracelet twist. The first “Den of Temptation” was also set up for him to win, as there was no way that any person we were just introduced to a few hours earlier was going to beat a person we just spent an entire season with.
So with all of those advantages, we have a competition that’s basically a redesign of the HOH comp Paul won during his season! Redesigned to promote a show that he’s also competing in with He Who Shall Not Be Named and former Survivor contestants. And to top it off, he won due to the help of his new group of ass kissers! Paul only found one “ticket” on his own. Elena stated afterwards that she found 25 tickets, and handed them all to Paul. She wasn’t the only one. This is not fair play. (And I get it. Nothing about Big Brother is fair, but it’s still disappointing.)
Yes, Paul wins this HOH competition, and it sets the stage for him to hold court. He has not shut up since Thursday night’s victory, and he won’t shut up until after next Thursday’s show. Oh hell, he won’t shut up then, either.
Wow, I just recapped almost a third of the episode before it even aired! (And I was pretty accurate, except that they also included how Cody was screwed by some of those who promised to vote out Christmas. BTW, Mark is a pussy.) They did also show a little incident between Cody and Josh that happened while us viewers had to watch Julie attempt to interview a clueless Jillian.
After the competition, Paul’s mouth kicks in gear in cahoots with Christmas. Meanwhile, Jessic and Cody are whining in the storage room. Jessica says she’ll do anything to remain in teh game, and they both wonder who went against them in the vote. They ask Kevin what he did, and he lies that he voted against Christmas. He says in the diary room he can’t vote against anybody who makes him breakfast. Cody claims he could see in Kevin’s face he wasn’t lying.
The pair now confront Ramses, who says he didn’t flip. “I know every one who flipped, and every one who didn’t.” Ramses says in the diary room that it would make no sense to vote against his best friend in the house, Jillian. “Frankly, Ramses, I don’t even want to talk to you”, says Cody.
Josh is now shown crying in the bedroom, and he wants to clear the air with Cody. He enters their bedroom and tries to talk to them, and is immediately told to leave. Josh continues to try to chat, but Cody yells “will you shut the fuck up?” Cody says he’s a “constant victim” who makes “victim noises”.
Josh heads into the other room and says he wants to sleep in there, and goes back in to pack. Him and Jessica get into it once again, and she says he sounds like a little girl. She has “zero pity” for him. It goes on as they wander into the original bedroom, and she now calls him “pathological”. We then get yet another “victim noise” quote from Cody, and he says Josh is a crybaby.
In tears, Josh goes into the bathroom, where Raven and Dom console him. “Don’t let them take you out of this game”, says Raven. Dom tells him not to “entertain them at all”. He’s also reminded that Cody’s side no longer has the numbers.
Paul then talks to his “team”, and says that they’re doing exactly as he expected. Weirdly, but not surprisingly, they don’t show him telling of his plan to put up Raven and Matt as pawns.
It’s now time to see Paul’s HOH, but it’s delayed because Jessica went to the diary room. Finally, he gets in and it’s the typical boring reveal of photos and other shit. Cody is as excited as I am by this waste of time. Paul is then shown reading (portions of) his letter from home, which may or may not include coded messages. (Listen to last night’s Big Brother Gossip Show for more info.)
Now they finally show Paul’s ideas for nominees. Oh, wait, now they show the Matt and Raven idea. This is actually much later, and it’s made to look like they’re not excited about it. Um, they were all in earlier with this idea. Now they’re all acting mad, and Mark actually walks out?? Weird.
It’s now Den of Temptation time. There are voodoo dolls of each of them. Way too much time is wasted on this, so let’s cut to the chase. Christmas wins this week’s temptation, and of course she accepts. She has the opportunity to replace another person during a POV competition any time this summer. She also has to curse three people, and she turns Jessica, Cody, and Jason into “Ve-Toads”.
Back from the Den material, Mark is still bothered by the Matt/Raven idea. He thinks Alex should go up, and Paul realizes he shouldn’t make his allies uncomfortable. “That’s why I love Paul”, says Mark to Elena after he leaves. Oh please.
Paul then talks Alex into going up, promising her that no matter what she won’t be going. Josh is also given this same sweet chat. Paul even tells Josh that he should call Cody a pussy if he’s in the POV. (We played this on the BBGossip show last night, as we have the vast majority of the material.)
One thing not shown is that Paul was also working on Ramses to use last week’s curse to put himself up as a nominee. It’s now made to look like Ramses decided on his own to add himself as a third nominee. Sure, he probably would have used it on his own, but he did get the Paul treatment just like Alex and Josh. He stands up and announces his curse, and explains that if he wins and takes himself down there is no replacement for him.
Paul then announces his nominations, and they are Josh and Alex. Paul says that Josh is a “little bit wild, bro” that “called me a meatball like 30 times”. He tells Alex that she hasn’t taken the time to get to know him. It’s complete bullshit, and Cody and Jessica clearly don’t buy it. Cody knows he’s going to be backdoored.
So that’s it. In my opinion, an episode that turned the season. And not in a good way. Let’s stop handing everything to Paul. Let’s stop him from #Paulsplaining. Time for Mark, Matt, Jason, Dom, Elena, anybody to grab some balls and make this a game again! Do you agree???
I think ultimately someone will take Paul out in the middle of the game. He will be around 5th or 6th, maybe even pulling a Dani Donato at 8th place. I don't share a few of your opinions but respect your opinions and am very entertained. You probably want to vote Alex Halting Hex for 3 reasons.
ReplyDeletea) She can win. She is very popular on two sites. Another BB expert has a poll that is usually right, and Alex leads by 6%. It'd be a waste picking the disliked Jessica, who has no chance.
b) She could use it to save herself, and she is a true player of the game who cares about strategy. She is not just coasting. Stood up to Cody, competed well, etc. She could also use it to keep someone in who may go after Paul. By someone, I mean Jason.
Yeah it looks like Alex will get that. Good for her. I'm torn on her but she may be the only hope to salvage some fun drama for the season.
ReplyDeleteKeep that Cody away from the cutlery until they can exit his ass. He's whacked!
ReplyDeleteAgree 100%. Can not believe these people just handing Paul everything he wants and needs to get to the end. Wake up hamsters!!!! Even tho I like Christmas she needs to go and not wasting space and my live feed time.
ReplyDeleteAlex is popular on the sites, but last summer that didn't match up with the care packages at all. That's because the vast majority of viewers don't watch anything but the show and don't like spoilers so they don't look at these sites. My guess is that Kevin and Alex are probably both really close in the greater fanverse. Wouldn't be surprised if Kevin gets this one.
ReplyDeleteAnd people suck up to whoever is in power, no one is "handing" Paul anything. Everything changes with the transfer of HOH. Game just getting going this season.